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13.23% I'M NOT THE ICE QUEEN / Chapter 9: ANGUISH I

Chapter 9: ANGUISH I

The bustling marketplace of the Kingdom of Solstice faded into a quiet hum as Yule locked eyes with the man standing before her. "My father?" Yule said out of confusion

"Yes, What the hell happened to you in the past 2 days you were missing?!" the Marquess said in a tone of confusion and worry. the servant remained to kneel as she blamed herself for what happened to her lady.

As the man approached her, Yule could sense his excitement, his longing to reconnect with his daughter. She felt a pang of guilt, knowing that she couldn't fulfill his expectations. 

"Milady! you truly don't remember? 2 days ago, you asked me to come with you. because you said you were going to buy accessories here in Eudaimonia city. but suddenly we saw a commotion and started to be chaotic because of the thief. but when I look at you Milady. you just suddenly vanished and I had no idea where you went." she said while crying.

Yule felt bad about the state of the servant. She doesn't remember because she just woke up from being reincarnated. She looks at Daniel and sees that he's just as confused as her. he looks at Marquess who claims to be her father.

'What is the situation I'm in? how am I going to respond?' she said in her mind. The weight of the situation pressed heavily upon her, and she struggled to find the right words to say.

"I...I really-" the Marquess cut her from saying anything because the Marquess saw the confusion in the eyes of an 8-year-old girl. 

"I know that sometimes I failed to be a father to you because of my responsibilities in our house. but this doesn't mean that you can forget your family just because your father failed to care for you." said the Marquess and you can see the tears in his eyes near falling. She could see the anticipation in the man's eyes, the hope that his daughter had returned to him. But for Yule, it was a different story. She was a stranger inhabiting Adelle's body, disconnected from the emotions and memories that defined their bond.

"Maybe because you were a very irresponsible father to her that she chooses to forget you." Daniel stood up for Yule and pulled Yule away from the two.

"No, just who do you think you are? to say that to the Marquess?" the lady servant said to Daniel and pulled Yule again.

"The lady has been missing for 2 days, and we don't stop looking for her and you can see in our eyes, the tiredness of not being able to sleep in 2 days. and look! all of the guards that have been patrolling around are also looking for the lady. we even have a portrait of her on the board. look over there!" she explained to the boy and pointed out the guard patrolling and the board that had her portrait.

Yule's eyes widen as she sees the portrait that the servant has been talking about.

'What the actual hell?' Yule said to herself and Daniel began to believe the lady servant. Yule walks toward the board she also drops the apple to touch the portrait of her.

'It is me, and the fact that I look like my old self' she said to herself.

She looked at Daniel and said, "Maybe they really telling the truth, but right now, I really can't remember." 

Unconsciously, the tears fell to her eyes. 'Why? am I crying?' she said to herself. Daniel's unable to speak, you can see the sadness in Daniel's eyes 

"My daughter! What has happened to you, that you don't remember us?!" Marquess runs towards Yule and hugs her tightly. She observed the man's gestures, the way he spoke with a mix of concern and love. She desperately wished she could tap into Adelle's emotions, to understand the depth of their connection, but she was left grasping at straws.

"Milady! Please forgive me for my negligence!" the lady servant said and started to cry.

In an attempt to navigate the situation, Yule cautiously mirrored the man's enthusiasm, hoping to provide some semblance of comfort. She smiled, nodded, and engaged in small talk, all the while feeling like an imposter in her own body.

"Okay, then, *points at Daniel* you should give him a reward for saving my life," she said and looked at the Marquess, he nodded.

"Boy, tell me how you found my daughter and what rewards you want in exchange for saving her," he said as he carried Yule which made her startled.

'Hah. I see, this is truly what I longed for. a father's love' she said to herself and she unconsciously hugged the Marquess which made the Marquess melt his heart. he truly loves the child that Yule possesses.

'I hope I can stay longer at this arm a little longer'

"This is not the place; we can talk to our villa. not too far from here, I invited you. what was your name again, boy?" the Marquess said while carrying the little Yule

"Daniel, my Lord." Daniel's response to the Marquess. The lady servant called their carriage to make their way to the villa.

******************

Yule's POV

I really can't believe what's happening right now! Does this body belong to a noble lady? but it is I in this body now. that means, my new self has become a noble?

Despite being an amazing mage in the Kingdom. some aristocrats looked down on me because I was a commoner with a poor background. No, I should say 'slave'. I just took a ladder to come to the position as an Archmage because of my skills and ability.

I remember when I was a child...

~~~~~~~~~Yule's Childhood Past~~~~~~~~~~~

I was a slave back then for as long as I can remember. surviving every day is my biggest achievement. To live, they commanded me to do such things as stealing and worst of all, killing.

My world was cloaked in darkness. I was born into a life that no child should ever know - a life as an assassin. From a young age, I was trained in the art of death and taught to be a weapon in the shadows.

Even though I didn't want to kill others, I had to, I needed to live. I must steal or kill people. that was my way of life back then. because of my skills and ability to use my mana freely, some people take advantage of me. I was once called a killing machine by my master. Every day different clients, they're the devil that I want to destroy. They're the true demons.

Because of my ability and skills, they're threatened by me. that's why they use a slave magic spell to me, to control me. Even though I wanted to kill them so badly, every time I attempted to use my magic on them' it only backfired on me. causing me to receive my attacks on my own. They're just laughing at me and beating me to a pulp. Elijah, Jack, and Mona were in the same shoes at that time. we can't do anything even though we want to because we're weak. They kept us in a nasty room. where, in the same place, where we eat, sleep, and shit.

Every day felt like an eternity in this wretched place. The walls seemed to close in on us, suffocating our spirits and crushing our hopes. The constant fear and uncertainty gnawed at our souls, leaving us weary and broken. 

We were just a child back then. supposed to live a life with laughter, hopes, and dreams. and yet, we received a beating and were ordered to do terrible things to innocent people for their sake. because of their greed for money and power. I once killed a 6-month-old baby because of the command and I cannot do anything about it. I hate myself for being weak. I despise myself at that time.

The guilt I got from killing the innocent, is accumulating inside me. the face of the 6-month-old baby still sits in my mind. the baby smiled at me and yet I killed her. I killed her!

I told Jack and Elijah that I was tired. I am tired of doing such things. I don't want to kill people. I don't want to live this life anymore. I can't hold back my tears knowing that it wasn't enough to atone for my sins.

Jack told me "Yule, please hold on until we get out of this shitty place."

But I can't guarantee that we can even get out of this place. I'm losing hope.

"Yule, don't ever lose hope. we have to hope even though we can't get out of here easily, I know there's a way and someone outside may help us" Mona said.

She's the sweetest person in this shitty place. she hugs me like, I am her child. even though she's the same age as we are. we were only 10 years old and had to experience this kind of life but she kept us whole in this shitty place.

"Yule, I don't know. but Mona is right we mustn't give up. don't waste your life because we're in this hell. as soon as we get out of here. those bastards will have to face me. I will not let them go" Eli said with such fierce anger in his eyes. he also hugged me, as well as Mona, and Jack. we can't even stop the tears from falling from our eyes. 

Amidst the darkness, a flicker of resilience burned within us. We held onto each other, finding solace in the strength of our friendship and shared determination to survive. We whispered words of encouragement, reminding ourselves that there was a world beyond these walls, a world where we could reclaim our freedom and dignity

*clang* *clang*

We heard that someone was opening the lock of the door. we immediately back on our spot and wiped out the tears in our eyes. One of the masters' dogs came in and threw half of the bread into us.

"That's the meal for today," he said giving us a nasty smirk.

I can see the anger at Jack and Eli as they gritted their teeth. I looked at the bread he threw on the dirty floor of the room. that's half the bread and our meal for today. we are only fed once; this is just a normal meal they've been feeding us. sometimes a porridge with their spit on it and sometimes they're not giving us a meal if someone disobeys the order. there are almost 10 slaves in the room and now we have to divide the half bread to fill our stomachs.

"M-Maybe y-you c-can give us another bread? That's not going to fill a stomach even one of us eats that half of bread alone." Mona said to that bastard, stuttering and he started to look pissed. he picks up the bread and bit it in half, he immediately chews it and spits it in the face of Mona. my eyes widened the same as Jack and Eli's.

"What did you just do?!" I can't control the menace that has gotten inside me. for all I'm thinking, I want to rip that bastard, I want to rip him apart. I want to kill him and make him experience such pain that he can't take it.

I slowly stand up as I accumulate my energy to form an ice spear and want to immediately stab it in his throat. Jack also controls his emotions so that he can attack him directly and Eli is trying to accumulate his fire in his arm. we are all tired and we're in a state of hunger. we have no energy to fight, but we are still trying for Mona's sake.

But...what happens next breaks my heart. Why did we have to experience all of this? We're nothing but a child.

 


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