What could emerge from a torrent of emotions that, perhaps we both chose to keep, is a series of unsaid messages that I hope, one day, you'd be able to know and accept... -- Florence Joyce
xxxxxx
[Rinako]
Time passed by quickly right after that Christmas Ball. For the others, yes, it did go by so fast. But for me, to be honest, I didn't even notice the passage of time after that.
How was I not supposed to think like that? I couldn't help feeling as if my mind wandered off somewhere after that event. Because of that, I wasn't able to fully enjoy both the Christmas and the New Year celebrations. That kiss wouldn't stop pestering my mind.
For the second time, that annoying jerk kissed me. And I hadn't even done anything to stop him from doing so. I was petrified, I couldn't even believe it! But the one thing I couldn't believe was the unexplained sadness I saw in Setsuji's eyes after he kissed me. That scene was what truly petrified me to the spot.
Even his usually charming smile was laced with the same emotion. After that, he left me there without a word.
I hadn't seen Setsuji after that night. Well, duh? There was a reason for that. The school was closed for the Christmas vacation.
But that had been the worst Christmas vacation in my life, in my opinion. Seriously! It won't give my mind some peace. Not once did it stop entering my mindーeven in my dreams. It kept messing with my mind.
And because that was what kept on happening, I found myself going to the cove more often than usual. I didn't know how but it did help in calming me down, especially when I would look at the lovers' statues by the sea. I guess I should add the occasional glances I've been making towards the Promise Tree from afar.
For almost two weeks, my mind was restless so there was nothing weird if it felt like I hated the world or something like that. Especially when a new school year would start again.
Then again, I think it would be okay. Maybe I would focus my attention more on the school activities. At least, I'd be able to gain something from there. Unlike that Mitsuta Setsuji who would constantly wreck my mind during the entire vacation.
I stiffened inwardly as I entered the classroom as I saw Setsuji leaning on the door frame. Talk about the great devil! A familiar girl (maybe) clung to his arm. I was sure I saw her from somewhere; I just couldn't remember.
Sheesh... What a memory I have. Was this the effect of that irritating kiss?
"Hi, Fukuizumi! You're standing beautifully right there. Did you happen to see a lovely view?" Setsuji greeted me with a smirk that only made my blood boil.
Seriously, this guy won't ever stop doing that, huh? And he was starting to ruin my day again. I wondered what he was gaining for doing that.
And because I wasn't in the mood to argue with the crazy mood of this jerk, I just scoffed and glared at him as I continued entering the room. I even heard the girl with him spoke as soon as I sat on my assigned chair.
"Why are you even giving your attention to that girl, Setsuji-san? She's not even beautiful and has the guts to glare at you," the girl said flirtatiously. It felt as if my blood boiled even more because of those words.
Well, I wanted to glare at her. Does she have a problem with that?
To be honest, I had the urge to shout those words to her. She was doing her best to ruin my day early in the morning. Wouldn't there be a day that I won't get irritated because of these people?
I angrily took a hardbound novel from my backpack that I only started reading last night. I'd rather focus my attention there so that my blood won't boil because of the "love birds" outside of the classroom.
But this was seriously crazy! Even in reading, I couldn't even concentrate. This was just great.
I simply cast a gaze at them because those two were just outside the classroom. I couldn't help throwing a glare at that rude girl. As if she was even that beautiful. Her face looked like a whole bag of flour was plastered on her face because of the thickness of the foundation she applied.
I could only sigh. Seriously... What was this all about? "The New Year just ended and here I am, starting to become a mean person again. You should be thankful, Rinako, that those people don't have mind powers."
This was getting annoying! I was starting to lose my mind just by talking to myself here. It was a good thing that I said those words in a whisper. I didn't want any trouble.
"So what's the problem if I give her my attention? Besides, she's worth my attention, especially if it's every day. She's one of those people that complete my day," Setsuji's calm answer that I heard.
I froze in my seat because of what he said. Did I hear it right? I was one of those that completed his day? But I ended up snorting.
Yeah, right. I would truly complete his day whenever he saw me getting completely riled up because of him. If I didn't know, it was probably his euphemism so that I won't end up thinking of hitting him again. Why couldn't he be truthful that I was the major day wrecker of his life? It was obvious, anyway.
Or... at least I wanted to blurt that out. But why was my heart kept on telling me otherwise?
I could only groan. Along with that, I felt my beating heart again.
Ah, what a pest of a heart! Could you please try not to make it obvious? I sighed inaudibly. Seriously, I was starting to get crazy here. I couldn't believe that I was trying to get my thoughts through my innocently fast-beating heart.
"Are you serious about that, Setsuji-san? That amazon and reckless girl? Are you out of your mind?" the girl asked incredulously.
Why this little--! What does she want, a punch on her face? So that she would see what kind of amazon and the reckless girl I could be? Was I that displeasing for her to say that? I wonder who was the one without manners and reckless between us two.
"Hey, watch your words, Nakata! I allowed you to approach me because I thought you were alright compared to the other girls around. I guess I made a mistake. You're worst than I thought," Setsuju said as if disgusted.
I even heard Nakata's exaggerated gasp. And then I finally remembered where had I seen that girl. It was during the Christmas Ball's Christmas Pageant of the college department where she won as a first runner-up. Setsuji was supposed to be a part of that competition. But for some reason, he declined.
Not that I cared, anyway. Besides, I haven't watched the event-- or should I say I wasn't even paying attention to the event because my mind was elsewhere.
"I can't believe you!" Nakata blurted out.
"Yeah, I'm truly unbelievable. But this is something I want you to remember. Say something bad about Fukuizumi again and I swear I'll do something that would make you regret you met me," Setsuji warned.
Of course, it became a reason for me to feel a chill run down my spine and for my heart to beat fast once more. He spoke those words firmly. I guessed anyone would be afraid.
"I don't know what she did to you to defend her like that. But we're not yet done, Setsuji-san!" That was it and Nakata finally left the area.
Thank goodness. I could only think of that in relief. That girl's flirty attitude was getting on my nerves and it irritated me so much.
'Irritated or getting jealous of the way Nakata-san clings to your Setsuji?' A part of my mind teased.
My Setsuji? Since when did that man become my property?
'Why? Isn't that the case already?'
"Argh!" I blurted and then I took a deep breath.
Why does my mind have to debate with me on what I was truly feeling at the moment?
But for some reason, I was able to breathe normally after that. My blood's "boiling point" dropped. Now I could finally concentrate on my reading since the greatest distraction who had to hang out outside the room was gone.
I opened the book to the page where the bookmark was placed. But I stopped at the sight of the bookmark placed there.
It has a picture of Sweet William. I smiled upon looking at it. Every time I would look at those flowers, I couldn't help but smile. Now that I thought about it, that was the last flower Setsuji gave to me. And it was right after the dance practicum, at that. And until now, I couldn't grant Setsuji the one thing he wanted to happen.
To grant him one smile--just as the Sweet William meant in the language of flowers.
"That flower was really beautiful despite its simplicity, right?"
I got startled upon hearing that voice that prompted me to look up-- which was a mistake, by the way.
Raising my head only made me realize that Setsuji was there and our faces were just a few inches close to each other. I gulped all of a sudden, especially when I felt his breath touching my face. Sheesh, I couldn't even tone down my heart from beating too fast! What was this guy even doing to me, huh? Just what kind of power that this guy had over me all this time that I couldn't stop?
"I can't believe your eyes looked even more beautiful when I see them this close," he said as if enchanted.
Those words snapped me out. Until I realized that he was looking at me intently again-- the same way he looked at me when he was on top of me during our very first meeting.
"B-better stay away from me before I hit you with the book that I'm holding right now!" I exclaimed and forced myself to move my face away from him.
Then again, perhaps this guy doesn't want to leave me alone since he inched his face closer than before to mine. Along with that, he placed one arm on the armrest and the other was on the backrest of the chair I was sitting at. He seriously cornered me and at that moment, he smiled mischievously at me.
As for me? Here I was, not able to move an inch. Like I got turned into a statue, to say the least.
"But what if I don't want to stay away from you? You can't push me away like that, Rinako. It's not going to be easy for you."
"You want me to hit you with something, you know that? I told you to stay away from me and not to call me by my first name!" I tried to make my voice firm but I had a feeling that this guy won't be affected by my threat.
Seriously, I had to get away from this guy. I couldn't even breathe properly because of the proximity of our faces, if only he knew. Not to mention, my heart was beating wildly, too.
He teasingly grinned. "No matter how many times you push me away, I will never stay away from you. You'll be the only one I'd tease to no end. I'll defend you from the people who couldn't appreciate you. You'll be the only one who I'd give flowers with meanings that weren't simple for me and would contain the thoughts I wanted to convey to you. And you'll be the one that I'd approach and talk to like this. I'll do all that for you. Hate me for it, I don't care. I'll just make sure you'll be mine at the end of all that. Got it?"
He... said... what? Okay... Was this for real? Seriously, tell me.
As for me, I didn't know what else to think about all this.
It felt as if my mind shut down when I heard those words. Along with that, I could feel the crawling heat spread on my face. I had no words. I got speechless and completely at a loss on how to explain all this. I couldn't tell if he was playing around and was just teasing me-- which was his usual hobby, by the way.
Then he just pinched my nose and tapped my cheek as he beamed a smile before he left.
When Setsuji fully went out of the classroom, it was only then that I could take a deep breath. I placed a hand on my chest and faced the door where Setsuji Jerk went out to.
"This is too much! I couldn't even breathe properly there..." Until now, I could feel my annoying heart beating rapidly.
I needed to breathe...