HOLY MAGE IN HARRY POTTER

LV 15

Descentofpotential

Pretty decent so far, would be nice to have some Dumbledore bashing and the character could do with a more independent perspective, try and keep up the upload speed.

LV 4

Seud

World background and building is pretty much nonexistent. Dialogue is bland, an example was when the mc told his sister to watch out as “watch out”. No exclamation point to describe his concern or surprise at the situation. Hell we don’t even know how he died to a truck, he was in a theater with his sister watching the last Harry Potter movie and suddenly after a couple lines of dialogue are outside where the mc can be hit by a truck. There was no description of them walking and talking. It was like they were standing in the same place talking leisurely and suddenly the character monotonously told his sister to watch out. Grammar isn’t that great. You can understand stuff and words are used correctly but capitalization and punctuation are pretty much nonexistent. The mc is a blank slate to me, he doesn’t seem to have a personality at all. It’s like a robot trying to emulate emotions, the only character that has somewhat of a personality is his sister. Like I described earlier, story development is all over the place and not cohesive at all. Don’t bother reading this unless you’re incredibly bored.

LV 3

peachypanda

When i read the name and description i thought it was like a story of a guy that dies and reincarnated as a orghan born in a good church not a bad one and discovers the magical world but its about a guy that dies and his sis becomes like a god like figure and helps him become way overpowered and i'm REALLY disappointed

LV 4

nothanksb6

Broken, scuffed english....................,............................................................................................................................................. I just couldn't read it.

LV 12

mluna9116

You just need to work on your grammar but other than that it's great.😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎🍫🍫🍫😎🍫😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

LV 15

Malakth

Love the book and how you brought about a new direction that people can read and stimulate there mind anew. Can't wait for more chapters!!!!

LV 4

jose1992

excellent! more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more more moremore more more more more more more more

LV 1

TheShadowMonarch

Es una buena historia que cuenta con mucho potencial pero es una pena que se la haya abandonado, el desarrollo del personaje principal es bueno el impacto que causa en la historia también, en cuanto al romance o las parejas que va obtener se colocan bien en la historia sería bueno que la continuarán

LV 1

Sheptshept

Malísimo no se con quien se contacto el autor para que gente le de 5 estrellas a esta novela pero es malísima como mucho es un 2.5 estrellas pero después que vi esas reseñas dudosas no vale tanto vale un 1.5 el .5 por lastima

LV 1

KEARIS

This is just trash, I don't understand why the site's editors allow you to post this ****. Did the Author buy all the good comments? I've read all the chapters and I'm shocked at how many cliches there are here. This fan fiction is trash.

LV 13

Tonyorobsky

Read up to chapter 8 and skimmed up to chapter 12. It’s bland. The writing quality needs some work. The characters and surroundings lack descriptions. The story development could be better. Protagonist only justification for Harry being bad is getting rid of the elder wand. Nothing about the previous movies, or the books. It’s too weak in the introduction of your protagonist. It feels more like the author’s opinion being thrown there. The death is bland, the reaction to the death is bland. The super sister from beyond the grave with mass achievement and karma would have been nice if she was more developed. It’s a downgraded version from being isekaied and receiving cheats from a ROB. The holy mage is more like a holy magic knight. Even more apparent with the inheritance. Despite the many advantages of the job, the first guy seems to have had an ordinary lifespan. The ancestor was the 1st and only holy mage until the protagonist, so the lore about them is flawed. You’re talking about it as if there had been several of them. Another ‘lost ancient knowledge’ because people didn’t get more educated over the centuries, they didn’t get better, their knowledge didn’t increase... For no reason.

LV 1

Ywmuye

Hi~ I am translating your work into Russian. Sorry for not asking for your consent. As an excuse, let me provide art for ur fic: https://imgur.com/5WJGU2v

LV 5

Valkry

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

LV 11

McLoggernaut

Cool plot!!! *Bows* thank you author-san!!!

LV 2

Edward_Crockett

It is an excellent cross view of all the magics of many Anime, combined with the Harry Potter verse! A view of Hogwarts, but I really think he should help Harry a bit as he is still in the seven year range and could do with some "*****" type help with Dudley.

LV 11

benjamin_plaisance

dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

LV 10

IWANTMYDINNER

It’s just nice, the grammar is amazing and the writing style that the author uses is pretty top tier as well. .... Also the MC’s little sister from his past life is 10/10 and a total brocon so that’s a plus 😂😂🤣