Chapter 38: Chapter 40

Eccedentesiast

n. Someone who hides pain behind a smile

I felt like shit.

Not just because I had snapped at the person who was supposed to be the other half of my soul, but because in that moment of weakness, I had become everything he had ever feared. I had an appalling breakdown and hurt him in blind fear, exactly what his mother had done all those years ago.

I really was a disgusting monster.

Maybe he had been right to push me away in the first place. Maybe there is no real hope for ferals. Maybe Diana was wrong about me.

I stifled another sob as another wave of anguish washed over me.

I was being childish, clinging onto the thought of Diana even though she had long passed. I was hypocritical, not taking my own advice by talking to someone about the crushing responsibilities and the worry that was slowly suffocating me.