Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Meeting Re
On a street in Tampa Florida is a normal white man who is wearing a suit looking very sad and disappointed. Almost like something happened that made him question his very life. The man has brown hair tied into a ponytail, his eyes match his hair but there is something else in them that can't be put into words.
The man keeps mumbling to himself as he is walking aimlessly and a lot of people are giving him weird looks. He doesn't care for he is facing a crisis in his life that will affect everything he has done.
'What did I do wrong to be accused of such things. Raping of a coworker and assault with a deadly weapon? I wasn't even in the building when it happened and why did the woman say my name when asked who did it?'
While the man is walking in deep thought, he passes a crowd of people who strangely don't try to stop him. He keeps walking and as he gets out of the crowd, he hears a few of them start to yell. As he wasn't listening, he didn't hear what they said. Just when he is about to turn around, he feels a gigantic force hit the right side of his body.
"Holy shit! Why did he just walk into traffic!" A man yells in agitation.
"What the fuck? Is he dead? Someone call 911!" Another man yells out while running torward the dead man.
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god." A woman is just cradling her head tightly.
Strangely enough, nobody takes the blame for not stopping the man before he got hit by the bus. They all believe the man committed suicide and blame him for ruining their otherwise normal day.
The man hears these things as he is blacking out from the extreme amount of damage he took. Just before he does though, he has one final thought.
'Wow, this just really isn't my day, huh?' He let's out a chuckle before he closes his eyes one last time and his body stops twitching.
As he was thinking he was dead, the man waits a little while before he thinks something is wrong. He waits for what feels like a few minutes but could have been longer and opens his eyes. He looks around and sees nothing. no buildings, no people, not even dirt or concrete. in this space of nothingness, the man doesn't even try to figure out what happened and just starts to walk until he reaches a building. the building itself looks to be a mash of different styles ranging from old japanese houses, all the way to modern american homes. It feels like it shouldn't work, but somehow every single piece of it makes it look complete, like it was always meant to be.
As he is looking around, he notices a pitch black door that has no design whatsoever. It just looks blank, yet it also gives an horrific feeling as well. the man feels a compelling force to walk in the door.
'What is the worst that could happen? I'm already dead.' the man thinks to himself as he chuckles slightly.
When the man opens the door, he sees a very weird looking bar. The whole room looks to be carved out of a tree, yet the appliances and furniture all look to be modern. He starts to walk in and Just as his body is fully inside, the door shuts behind him with a bang.
The man completely ignores the actions behind him and just stares forward at the most beautiful and woman he has ever laid eye upon. As he is watching this lady, she starts to speak. Her voice matches her looks, perfect in every aspect.
"Welcome to Carnation Bar, My name is Re."
The man smiles and sits down in the stool right in front of her.
"Well, hello Re, My name is Michael Smith, Can you please explain to me what is happening?"
"I have to say Mr. Smith, this is the first time I have seen someone be so casual immediately after arriving." Re says with a little bit of shock.
"Let's just say that I am used to the unusual and in fact quite like it as well. Also, please call me Michael." Michael smiles in a gentle way.
"OK, Michael. What is basically happening is that you died right before you entered this bar and you had your choice of which destination you could goto."
"I died?" Michael inquires calmly.
"Are you surprised?" Re inquires with a hopeful gaze to falter the man's expression.
"Not really, in fact I think it was a good time for me to die anyway." Michael says with his smile still intact.
"What? How can you think like that?" Re jumps up in surprise after hearing him.
"Can you give me a drink first, Miss Re? I think that this conversation is going to be a long one, aren't you a bartender?" Michael says while gesturing to the empty space in front of him.
"Of course. *Cough* *Cough*. What would you like?" Re asks in a professional manner
After she asks that, Michael puts his hands to his chin and rests his elbows on the bar.
"Hmmmmmmm. That's a good question. Do I have to pay for these? I don't have anything on me and I'm sure you won't take ordinary money."
"Nope, everything here is a part of my hobby until we get to my real job." Re says with a mysterious smile.
"Good, then i'll have one of everything." The man smiles mischievously.
"One of everything!? That's thousands of drinks!"
"Hahahaha! I'm just kidding, just give me the strongest thing you have." Michael happily laughs
"Fine." As Re says this she goes to the back of the wall of drink she behind her and pulls out a very ancient looking jar. She opens it and start to pour him the reddish brown liquid that reminds him of blood.
After a few seconds the drink is prepared and poured in a glass that looks to be impossible to make with technology today.
"What is the name of this drink?"
"Drink first, then I will tell you." Re says with a weird grin.
"Ok" he says while lifting the glass to his mouth.
As he takes a sip, he notices that it has a weird metallic taste combined with a certain fruity texture.
"Wow, this is really good! I wish all alcohol tasted like this."
As he finishes the drink in no time, he notices that Re is looking at him with a look like she can't believe what just happened.
"What's wrong?" Michael asks with worry in his voice.
"You're telling me that that drink tasted good to you?" She says as she steps back with a little bit of fear.
"Yes?"
"It shouldn't have! That drink only tastes bad, unless you're..." she stops as she realizes something.
"Unless I'm what?"
"I think I know why you thought it was a good time you wanted to die."
"Really? What is the name of this drink?"
"Killer's Happiness." Re says with a tremble.
"Hahaha, what an ominous name!"
"I already know the answer to this, but have you killed anyone?"
"Of course not! why would you as.... ah!" Michael begins to ask but then realizes the answer himself.
"Yeah, the reason why it's called Killer's happiness, is because it brings happiness to people who are killers. So, are you lying to me?" Re asks with a gleam in her eye.
"No, I really haven't killed anyone before, but I can guess why I like it despite not having killed anyone before." Michael says with a wry smile.
"Why?"
"Cause I'm a psychopath who would enjoy the act of killing." Michael drops a bomb with a gentle smile.
"Wha?"
"Yeah, all my life I have wondered what it would be like to kill. I have dreamt of it and even wanted kill people who have annoyed me."
"I see. Then how come you haven't?"
"You sure accepted that easily." Michael laughs a little before he continues
"Well, as you probably know, By the time I was in 5th grade both of my parents passed away. Both died from cancer if you can believe it. Before my mom died, she said 'violence never solves anything and that I should never try to solve my problems that way.'" He sighs as he looks at the drink like he is remembering a fond memory.
"My father became depressed and was soon diagnosed with cancer after that. As he was lying in the same exact position as my mom did, he told me something that was very similar to her. It made me laugh a little when he said it. He said 'life is sacred and you should never kill anyone'. He made me promise, and I did." He says as he chuckles.
"I figured out years later, that they both understood what I was, a psychopath. But they still loved me deeply despite it. I wanted to keep that promise my whole life, and I did."
"Is that why are you so accepting of this death?" Re asks him confused.
"Yes, I was recently accused of crimes I didn't commit and my company fired me while the police was amassing evidence of my guilt. Everybody around me was in on it. They wanted me gone, I guess this was the only way they could." The man laughs in derision before he continues.
"I was actually just about to go and kill everybody in the building before killing myself. I guess it just wasn't meant to be." He sighs in thought.
"Well in the thousands of years since I've been doing this job, I have never met a person like you."
"Thousands of years? That must suck. Do you enjoy this job?"
"Hmm? Not really?" She says with a head tilt.
"Really? So why have you been doing it for so long?" He asks while gesturing to the empty glass.
"Cause it's why I was created." She says while serving another glass.
"Created? by whom?"
"God! Of course!" She says while Michael takes a sip of his recently filled glass.
"*Spurt* GOD!? God is real and he created you?"
"Yes, by the way, this is the only time I have seen you surprised." She says while wiping away the drink on her body.
"Well, yeah! Obviously I would be surprised that there is a god out there."
"Why?"
"Let me give you an example. Bear with me please." He says while taking a vial out of his pocket and turning his body so she can't see what he is doiIng. inside his cupped hands. He turns back around with his hands cupped together.
"Right now I have the cure for cancer inside my hands, it's a bug."
"No you don't, there is nothing in your hands."
"Yes there is, I have seen it and I can feel it crawling around my palms." He says convincingly.
"But there Is nothing there."
"How do you know? Have you seen what is inside my hands after I closed them?"
"No." She answers feeling slightly confused.
"Do you know if no such bug exists in the world?"
"No, but you have no proof that the bug actually can cure cancer." She says while smugly pointing at him.
"Yes I do."
"What?"
"The other day my sister was confirmed to have cancer, after this bug bit her, the cancer went away. That is my proof."
"Show me!"
"I'm sorry, the hospital the tests results were at had a fire and all of them burned with the building."
"Wha, then how do you prove your claims?"
"You just have to take my word that there is a bug in between my hands and that it cured my sister of cancer!" He says while still holding his hands together.
"Well, I don't believe it!" She says and then realizes what he is talking about.
As he sees the realization dawn on her face Michael releases his two hands and shows her that there is in fact a bug inside his palms.
"You see? Without any physical results how can you disprove what anyone says? I have never seen god, none of his miracles that he speaks of. How am I supposed to believe in something that I'm not even sure is real? Sure, I can do the whole 'god is in all of us' spiel but that doesn't quite make him an omnipotent being, right?"
"I get your point, I guess it has been quite a while since he has shown the humans of earth anything substantial." She says with a sigh.
"Anyway, enough about this, what is your real job?"
"Well, let me first explain The Whole point of that white area you were in. As you might have guessed, that place is a sort of limbo souls goto when they don't have a specified religion in their hearts. That area has 13 doors in it that when someone gets here, they walk until they reach one. Whatever door they reach is their fated destination of death. Now,12 of the doors have patterns. Can you guess what they are?"
After a few minutes Michael answers.
"Were they the doors to different heavens and hells?"
"Wow! I'm surprised you guessed it right! Yes those doors all lead to different heavens and different hells. all of them except mine." She says with Pride.
"Ah! I get it now, your name is Re and you're in the bar called Carnation. You're the being that lets souls Reincarnate!"
"WHOA!!!! What a genius! You're pretty smart. Yes I am, and I'm going to let you reincarnate in whatever world you wish, Happy?" She yells with surprise and continues with a happy tone.
"I had a feeling that this was going on, so it can be any world, even fictional ones?"
"Yep!"
"Can any of you beings interfere with that world after I reincarnate?"
"Nope!"
"Then I choose to reincarnate into the fictional world of Hellsing.
"Hellsing, like the anime?"
"You know of it?" He says with surprise.
"Of course I do, if anyone lives as long as us, they would start getting bored easily."
"When can it begin?"
"Let me look at how many Karma points you have before we begin." She says as she brings up a clear screen that is floating in front of her face.
"Karma points?"
"Yep, there an easy way to measure what a person has done in their lifetime. Positive points equal good and negative points equal bad. Let's see how much Michael Smith has."
"She says whiel pulling up a holographic screen showing a search engine box."
After imputing the name, Re freezes and stays still like a statue for a few minutes.
"Re? Are you ok?" Michael asks worriedly.
"WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY!!!!!?!??!? What did you do to receive so much!?" She yells very loudly.
"Well, I'll tell you later. Anyway, does this give me any privileges?" Michael asks nonchalantly.
"Yeah, you can practically ask for anything you want with this many points." She says with a resigned expression.
"Good, then I want to reincarnate as Seras Victoria a week before the vampire attacks Cheddar, where she is stationed. I also want all of her memories."
"How specific, isn't she a woman and why not earlier?"
"Yes? I've already been a man in this life, I would like to know how it is as a woman. As for the when, it's because I don't want to wait that long before I get turned into a vampire by Alucard."
"Anything else?"
"What else can I get?"
"Well, you haven't even asked for anything, so you still have practically all of your karma points. Would you like to see a list of what you can get?"
"Yes, that would be extremely helpful. Do I have a time limit on when to decide?"
"Nope! I like you so I'll let you stay as long as you'd like." Re smile joyously as she fills his drink up for the third time.
"Awesome! I like spending time here with you, I feel like I can be myself completely. It's so liberating." Michael says while he receives his own holographic screen displaying a gigantic list of things he can receive.
After days of scouring the near infinite list filled with things ranging from completely stupid powers like, changing hair colors, to OP powers, such as the Rinnegan from Naruto and the ability to make any devil fruit you can think from one piece.
"So, have you made your choice?" Re asks with a disappointed tone.
"Yeah, I want the Infinite Item Box, the ability to transport anywhere and anytime I choose, and I want the Omniscient Simulator." He says confidently.
"Really? That's it? You have so many other points you can use."
"Yep, it would be too boring to have more than that since I'll live forever. It would be way more fun that way." He sighs as he takes a sip from another alcoholic Beverage Re made.
"Really? Well, it's not like I can say no. Ok, then I will send you in about 10 seconds."
"By the way, do you know why I gave you that example about god?" He asks when the countdown begins.
"No?"
"I never wanted to prove that I didn't believe in god, I only wanted to prove that without any physical evidence, how do we prove that anything is real?"
"Why are you saying this now?" She asks with 4 seconds to go
"Because, that bug that was in my hands, is the bug that I used to develop the cure for cancer." Michael says with a mischievous grin.
"What?" She says when the countdowns hits zero.
"See ya, Re. I hope you have more fun at this job" he says before he disappears from Re's view.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
crazy1324
crazy1324 I don’t own Hellsing or any of its characters. I just like to think of what could have been different. Here are my thoughts.
Also I have written about 30 chapters ahead and I’ve been reading other Hellsing fan fictions and I realized mine is a lot more tame than theirs. So, will you guys comment on whether I should make it gorier or keep it as a kind of light hearted malice?
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