The moment I passed through the veil at the Stronghold, I spun and retreated again. I simply couldn't bear to return feeling this way. Jiao would know, would prod and poke until I confessed my feelings. At the very least, Max would feel guilty over the choice I now faced. And he carried enough misery and regret with him for a thousand lifetimes. He didn't need more of mine to add to that.
Instead, I soared the veil, forcing myself to focus, to ignore the steady presence of the black ribbon's pressure, returning with my stress. To struggle between losing the girls and falling into quiet. Not on the pieces of Creator. Those, I feared, were lost to us without assistance. Aid I would never ask for again. At least, not from the one who had the ability to find them for me. I'd used my son that way for the last time.