Harry Potter and the Longest Bottom

Harry Potter...the boy who lived. A boy, malnourished, mistreated and rather unremarkable save for a talent in broom riding, is destined to be the one who shall truly vanquish the Dark Lord? Someone who only survived by the help of those around him, someone who is only able to remain in Hogwarts by the grace of Dumbledore and the system which would not allow him to be expelled even if he had failed all tasks required by him, shall bring Great Britain to a new age of prosperity?
HA!
What a joke, what a jest. Listen well dear viewer dear watcher of this little reality, I shall tell you of the tale of the true dark lord's greatest foe. This is a tale of a boy named Neville, with situations derailing him from the path he was destined to take before ending Voldemort at the battle of Hogwarts. This is the tale of the greatest wizard yet, this it the tale... of the LONGEST BOTTOM.