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11.53% Harry Potter - Carry On Wayward Son / Chapter 3: Chapter 3: You Want To Do WHAT?

Chapter 3: Chapter 3: You Want To Do WHAT?

In a quiet little corner of Massachusetts - about a 50 miles outside of Boston - in a secluded part of the forest and mountains, camouflaged by the foliage and the snow, stood a hidden cottage.

From the outside, it looked like a simple log cabin, the kind Abraham Lincoln would live in if he had enough time to spruce it up.

On the inside, it was a well-fortified, bigger-on-the-inside-then-outside, three story house with all the necessities, including heating and electricity. It had three bedrooms, three bathrooms, a grand kitchen, a living room with a working fireplace, a dining room, and a whole floor dedicated as a library/study/workspace/torture room.

The great benefit of magic - reality is your bitch.

It was Crowley's secret home away from Hell, hidden from all demons, creatures, and angels with all the sigils and wards inscribed into its walls and its foundation. The only way to find it is to be invited or be told about it and given a key.

There was currently an Archangel enjoying a cup of hot chocolate while watching softcore porn on a laptop in front of the fireplace wearing a fluffy sweater.

Crowley did not know about this – the porn, not the Archangel.

So him teleporting in while the angel was enjoying the movie while his hands were warmed by the mug caught the demon off guard.

The angel quickly closing the laptop and burning himself with the spilled chocolate – that was just plain funny.

Harry quickly looked back and forth between the two, trying to judge the situation. "Crowley, is he a demon too?"

The Archangel responded in kind, "Crowley, why is there a child with you?"

Crowley could only rub the bridge of his nose in frustration. "I planned to introduce you two later but I guess now is better than ever. Harry, this is Gabriel, the Archangel. Gabriel, this is Harry, a boy I am taking in."

"I am in hiding Crowley – don't say my name so casually. Also, what do you mean "taking in'?"

Crowley annoyingly shook his head, "Clean up first. I need you to examine and heal the boy before we tell him everything. Meet you in the study."

"So, these are books." Harry was currently sitting on the couch without his shirt being examined by what he was told was an angel.

Gabriel could only be described as attractive. He had the sort of body that was an odd amalgamation of features that seemed to just work somehow. With a little effort, Gabriel could pass for a dashing privateer in a pirate costume or as a socialite in the right suit. Honestly, he could fit whatever role was needed in the right clothes – probably helped in his capacity as a Trickster.

All three of them were currently on the top floor of the house. It was a beautiful study: walls full and bulging with books and texts. One corner had a fireplace dedicated for reading, another corner ha a desk and an up-to-date computer system for work, and the last corner was for torture.

If Harry was more aware of the world, he would have questioned why one pair of handcuffs was pink and fluffy.

The less said about that corner, the better.

Gabriel was on his knees, eyes closed, arm over the center of Harry's chest, concentrating. Crowley stood behind him, leaning on the fireplace that extended from the first floor into the third-floor study. "What, you never saw one? You knew about demons."

Harry – still straight-faced despite everything that happened in the last few hours – calmly replied, "I heard about them from television sermons that Dursley's sometimes clicked through. Dudley was lazy, and his parents didn't read anything but the morning paper, so there was no need for them. Also, I never went to school so no, I have never seen a book."

Crowley only whistled in surprise, "Means you're illiterate as well. We will have to correct that afterward."

Gabriel just grumbled out of the corner of his mouth, "Could both of you be quiet? This is much harder than it looks."

Harry only looked back at the man in front of him, "So how exactly did an angel become friends with a demon?"

Gabriel – with his eyes still closed – chuckled, "First, please be careful with that information. I am currently in hiding as a 'Trickster'. Secondly, we ran into each other by accident in the early 18th century when Crowley was still a mere run-of-the-mill crossroads demon. I accidentally happened to kill an asshole in a befitting fashion right as his contract was ending. When Crowley's hellhounds came to get him, I was already in the middle of screwing with the poor sod. So long story short, he let me kill him, he collected the soul, we got to talking, yadda, yadda, yadda, we've been friends ever since."

Harry looked unemotionally at the angel, "You are leaving out a significant chunk of the story… Crowley tried to drag you to Hell for a promotion, didn't he?"

Gabriel took his hand off, opened his eyes, and looked back at Crowley, "What is he, psychic?"

Crowley shrugged, "Don't know, you tell me. He claims he has telekinesis and his adoptive family called him a freak."

Gabriel, stupefied, just said, "Oh."

One word responses at their best.

Crowley got the conversation back on track, "So what's the final diagnosis, doctor?"

Gabriel stood up, sighing in frustration."I did the best I could, but the injuries are simply too old. Internally, I fixed him up all neat and tidy. A constant diet of foods rich in essential vitamins and nutrients should take care of the malnutrition in a few weeks. Work and light exercise will fix up the weakness and fatigue he has as well distribute the new mass he will get. His skin is a different story – the scars and burns have to stay, and the emotional damage is done. I should warn you, x-rays will still show all your old injuries but healed up. Make sure you don't end up in a hospital, or there will be questions how you functioning at all."

Harry just nodded – no words were necessary.

Crowley nodded in kind. "Now we have three things to take care of."

Gabriel got confused at this, "Three? I thought it was just the one."

Crowley started to count off his fingers, "First, we figure out what he is; it's not vanilla flavored mortal, I can tell you that much. Secondly, we remove the curse on him; that thing is the reason he had a crappy,.." Crowley looked at Harry to confirm.

"I'll have my 7th birthday on July 31st."

"Right…crappy seven years. Third, you make him literate – that one should be easy enough for you."

Gabriel exasperated, "Indeed it should, it's an easy memory dump. Let's leave it for last. But what's this curse you keep talking about? Kids seems clean to me."

Crowley was the one confused now, "What are you, bloody daft? It's right there in the lightning-shaped scar on his forehead."

Gabriel squinted at the thing, leaning so close that it made Harry a bit uncomfortable. "Look, Crowley, I am in a way higher weight class than you, and I do not see anything."

"You didn't see the house. You didn't see where they kept him." Crowley was getting furious at this. The dark magic was clear as day, so the like of Gabriel…

The likes of angels…

Gabriel hands were up in surrender, "Look, it's not that I don't believe you, but…"

"No, no, it's not me, it's you," Crowley started to face in front of the fireplace. "The dark magic that made the curse can only be sensed by practitioners of dark magic. You may have done some dirty crap angel, but your choices and you are still inherently light. Me, I am a demon, through and through – that mark is like a freaking lighthouse to me."

Gabriel turned back to the boy and took two fingers to his forehead. A shock went through both of them instantly, causing both to fall back from each other.

"WOAH NELLY! Crowley, you bloodhound! You nabbed yourself a freaking wizard!"

"A wizard?" said Harry and Crowley at the same time.

"Don't you mean warlock?"

'No, Crowley, if I meant warlock, I would have said it. No, you found an honest to God wizard! Just think it, you are a wizard, Harry!"

Crowley just looked at the angel skeptically, "Whats's the big floppy difference? The letter 'z'?"

Gabriel just stood up and started doing a jig, "No, there is a fine line of distinction. Witches and warlocks can be broken down into three classes. The are the 'Borrowers' who make deals with demonic forces. There are the 'Naturals' who are born with it. Then there are the 'Students' who learn it through practice and training."

Crowley just chuckled, "So… Mama Crowley was a 'Natural' then?"

"Yep." Gabriel started to take a notepad from the desk to start drawing a Venn Diagram. "Now, people use spells and rituals on and off to take care of problems – like Hunters do – are none of the above since 'Students' take months or years of repeated magical exposure to become what they are. Although, a Hunter could become a 'Student' if they had the time or proclivity…"

Harry started to put back his shirt as he talked to Gabriel, "So…what are wizards?"

Gabriel got excited and pointed to his sketch, "Wizards are right here in the center of the three! They are born as 'Naturals,' they practice through life as 'Students,' and they 'Borrow' energy from the very air, earth and space around them. As a side benefit, their souls are uber-charge and fortified. If human souls are car brands from Acura to Volvo, then wizard souls are the freaking Transformers."

Harry raised his hand, "I don't get the reference."

Gabriel just put his hands on the boy's shoulders, "Harry, after we are finished here, we have a lot of catching up to do to make up for your childhood."

Crowley was just getting more and more flustered, "How have I never heard of them?"

Gabriel continued, "It's mainly because you were born too late. They used to be more common with early civilizations but their numbers started to diminish at a steady pace, either due to fear, accidents, war and the like. At some point in the 16th century, they went into some deep hiding. And when I say deep, I mean 'beyond the veil' deep. They spend years preparing and with the spells they weaved – just trust me on this, even angels can't find them. It's like they literally bent spaces in the world and made pockets for themselves. Oh, some still live in the human world, and some are even born out of ordinary humans due to recessive magic genes from some ancestor – better odds for the newborn if its on both sides of the family. But mostly, they stay hidden in their little magic land."

Crowley started to think about the situation that presented itself in front of him. "Well, this makes things easy then. With his latent abilities, we can carry out the Essentia Commutationem Ritual without any problems."

Gabriel stopped mid-jig at that. "You can't be serious. That ritual is used to transfer power between individuals. It was used to drain the life force of prisoners during wars to fuel spells."

Crowley engaged the poor angel in a magical debate at this point. He got the pad out of Gabriel's hand and began doodling, "Not if it's modified. Think about it, the matrix of the ritual circle would already break down the boy's natural defenses, allowing us access to his being. With that opened, you can hop in and remove the curse."

Gabriel just looked at the pad, "You keep saying 'we.' Why is there a 'we'?"

Harry was watching, cross-legged on the couch, head going back and forth between the two as they were talking out the finer points of this ritual. All that he was missing was popcorn – unfortunately, you can't miss what you never had.

Crowley just shrugged, "Look, the kid needs someone to take care of him, why not us?"

Gabriel just looked at the demon mortified. "Why not? Because an angel and a demon taking care of a kid is like the pilot of a bad sitcom!"

"It can be done. Besides, I want to take him in – you're just going to be the nanny."

Gabriel sighed in dearest. "Fine, but that still doesn't answer what you need the ritual for."

"Well, to make him a demon, of course. When you cleanse him, Harry and I will exchange essences to make us father and son – in spirit, of course. Although, blood will be transferred…"

Gabriel quickly checked the diagram they made so far, "That won't work. He may be a wizard, but you are still a demon, a powerful one at that…"

Crowley looked at the angel, "Are you coming on to me?"

"No jokes Crowley. He would be giving you more than you to him – the ratio doesn't work out."

Crowley took back the pad and started adding something new to the diagram, "That's where you come in. You are already going to be involved, so as long as your essence is in the mix, you would just act as an external power source."

Gabriel just kept hitting his head – gently – in annoyance against his knuckles, "Yeah, an Archangel sized one. The kid won't be able to handle it – it would be like using a dam to fill a swimming pool."

"Not if you allow your energy to fortify him."

Gabriel paused, "Wait, So…I'll be strengthening the host while you give him the filling? That…could work…"

At this point Gabriel was pacing across the room while Crowley just tapped his foot – Harry was just mesmerized by this all.

Gabriel looked back and pointed at Crowley, "You realize he will be something entirely new right?"

"Why? There have been Cambion and Nephilim in history before."

"No. This will be much worse. This would be the equivalent of both of them having a kid."

Crowley slowly put down the pad, "Which I assume never happened before."

Gabriel just kept putting his hands through his hair as of weighting some unknown options, "The closest equivalent imagined was by Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon in a comic, which had a quasi demon-angel hybrid named Genesis – which is what this kid would be if he ever loses his humanity." (1)

Crowley just looked at the kid on the couch who was focusing on the demon, "So, to be clear Gabriel… In literal terms, he would be ½ human, ¼ angel, and ¼ demon. Metaphysically, he would be human in soul, angel in vessel, and demon in spirit."

The library got quiet, the crackling of fire being the only sound heard.

Gabriel quickly put his hands in front of his eyes, twisting and waving them back and forth.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure I am not stoned. I haven't had a conversation this trippy since I accidentally ended up in Woodstock."

Crowley looked at the angel bug-eyed, "Wait, is that why that event got so crazy?"

Gabriel sheepishly tried to look anywhere but Crowley, "I…may have accelerated the process. If I don't focus, my grace 'bleeds' through. It's kind of why I have so little power in my Trickster persona - well, compared to my Archangel persona. Even as a Trickster, I got more juice than you."

"Only situationally. The magic of the crossroad contracts outclasses your reality bending any day."

"That's because you use the human soul to do so."

Harry finally interrupted, "So when are we doing the ritual?"

The demon and angel looked back at the kid on the couch. Gabriel slowly asked, "You do realize that if this ritual works, you won't be human anymore."

"Based on your conversation, it makes it seem that I was never human." Harry may have been illiterate, but he wasn't stupid – he had to be smart to survive as long as he did with the Dursley's.

Crowley decided to sit down next to the boy on the couch – the most father thing he has done in a long time. "Look, Harry – you were always human, just with magical gifts. If this ritual works, you will become part demon with a few angel blessings on the side. You would sacrifice almost everything that it would mean to be human."

Harry said just thirteen words. "What makes you think I would miss what I never did or had?"

No one talked – for what seemed like forever.

Note to self: make sure the Dursley's get Alastair as their torturer for all eternity. Crowley though to himself.

Gabriel, without the joy and bravado he has shown earlier, was first to speak, "I'll start getting the circles ready."

Crowley nodded. "Harry, if you want anything, go get something from the fridge in the kitchen. Gabriel, I have to go get the tools and supplies. Ready in an hour?"

"Make it two – drawing a modified Triquetra will take some time."

"Really, were going Celtic on this?"

Gabriel corrected, "Technically, Druid – they best understood the flow of energies, so their designs are best for this."

Crowley nodded, "Alright team, you have your assignments – Break!"

Gabriel went to the torture corner, Crowley disappeared, and Harry was just confused – although his face didn't show it.

Harry was in the kitchen since he hasn't eaten all night.

He decided to leave the mad-scientist angel alone.

He decided to try cake for the first time in his life.

It was a Chocolate Fudge Devil's Food Cake.

It was delicious.

He tried the Angel Food Cake next.

He decided it needed more chocolate.


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