/ Urban / Happier Than Ever System
Synopsis
Life of an average guy with an average family who gets an unexpected chance to experience something different.
#poortorich
#luxury life
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it needs improvements, there are almost no characters interaction and when it does it seems like 3rd person pov instead of mc, and you need to correct who is talking. plus saying out loud and inner thoughts, everything is very simple, no depths. the improvement you can make more dialogue between characters, and pov changes, you need to differentiate between changing scenes event and ongoing thoughts, English seem okay good luck.