Chapter 4: Chapter 4: How to be a Sensei
Chapter 4:
Kakashi learns about being a sensei.
Four days had passed since the fight with the Swirl-Fan Pirates.
Currently, Team 7 were travelling to the Baratie on smooth waters. Kakashi had some familiarity with navigation, from an ANBU course for missions done along various coastlines and certain mission to the Land of Water. Thanks to a sea-chart and some directions from Tarm, they were getting closer to the Baratie. But the atmosphere on the small ship was tense.
The jonin sighed lightly, casting a careful eye over his students. Sasuke was scanning the coastline, Sakura's full attention lay in a book, while Naruto was doing push-ups on the deck. None of them spoke to each other, but Kakashi was grateful for the lighter moods from them all.
The first couple of days had gone badly for each of them.
The reality that they may be in a separate dimension truly sunk-in over the course of the following day. While the villagers heaped praises and gifts to the Shinobi, none were truly in a mood to accept them.
Kakashi had initially kept the Genin separated. Yet, one night, he found Naruo crying his eyes out. Recalling a certain conversation with Inari, Kakashi became worried and approached the boy.
Flashback
Drip-Drip. "chk-aah-ckeheh-cheemmmm"-sniff.
"Naruto?"
Slowly, the lost child raised his head, at the familiar voice. Blinking to clear his eyes, he recognized the figure of his sensei, squatting down beside him.
"Listen." Kakashi began. "This is huge shock to all of us. But I don't want you to blame yourself over that Genie. We're here and need to look ahead right now. Not back on what could have been different. I don't want these feelings of pain or regret holding you back so much. We'll find a way back, no matter how long it'll take."
The Hatake smiled, trying to drive his words further with a happy memory. "Then you'll be able to tell Lord Hoakge all about-"
"AAAAHHHHHHEEEE!" Naruto broke out in a sob. His head was bent down, tears streaming from his eyes. Kakashi was confused. Unsure of what he said, or how to approach the boy.
Hesitantly, cautiously. He reached out to touch Naruto's shoulder. The boy shrugged away from his touch, moaning. "Jii-jii….sniff….Jii-jii."
Given his mistake, Kakashi decided to wait instead of speak. 'I…Hhhhhh. I guess...I'll see what comes and try to help.' With a sigh, the Jonin resigned himself to something he was always reluctant to do. Talk. About feelings and pain.
"Naruto. What is it about the Hokage that's bothering you so much?"
At the mention of his single guiding figure, Naruto began to cry harder, shaking through his body; his head buried in his lap.
Several moments passed, with a deep uncertainty growing within Kakashi as Naruto drew tighter into a quiet ball. Frowning in guilty and resignation, he began to stand up.
"Don't go," the boy murmured. "P...please, don't...don't go sensei. You're…." a shallow came, shaking Naruto's body in a way that couldn't be healthy for anyone. "you're the only one who likes me now," a confession came. "The only one who doesn't glare at me. Like the Hokage used to in the village."
Kakashi's eye widened. Slipping back to the ground, he decided to try his luck. "Glares? Who was glaring at you Naruto?"
Sniff-"Sakura and Sasuke. They…sniff-they blame me for being st-sniff-stuck here. I know that it-sniff-is kinda my fault, but….but they're looking at me jus...just like everyone else in the village does. Everybody back in the Leaf village. Heh…..heh-sniff…..They look at my like all the time! Like a germ that they want to disappear, or someone to blame for everything because of the Kyubi!"
"Huh!" Naruto let out a gasp, jarring sideways to fall back in a sprawl, he faced Kakashi. Eyed filled with terror. He'd let that secret slip. His body was trembling, overcome with fear.
'Please-please-howcouldI-I-I-besostupid. I-Italkedaboutthataloudandnowsensei-'
"Naruto." Kakashi's call was ignored. "Naruto! Naruto!"
Every call from the Jonin bounced away. Naruto was consumed with panic. Backing away from his teacher.
With a reluctant sigh. The Jonin shifted forward. Kakashi's touch was shrugged off again. Leading the Jonin into a flash from his past. Vividly, a memory, shaded with grief, came to the surface. Of a certain red-haired woman pulling him into her arms. In the wake of Rin's death, the teenaged Kakashi rejected any touch from her. But Uzumaki Kushina wasn't the person to accept the answer 'no' from anyone.
The friend-killer remembered her yanking him into her arms. Cradling him softly, whispering assurance that she did not blame him. And to let the pain out of his heart. He'd rejected her advice, be still felt some comfort from her touch.
Now, here he was. Trying to do that same to her son.
"Naruto." Kakashi spoke more forcefully. Spurred by the memory, he moved forward. Wrapping an arm around the boy and pressing his head into Kakashi's shoulder. The movements were very awkward for the Jonin, even more as he began to speak.
"Naruto. I already knew about the burden, sealed within you, when I became your Jonin-sensei. I….I probably should have said something earlier. I don't see you as the Kyubi-Kitsune at all. You're one of my cute, little Genin. And one of my comrades. Do you remember what I said at the Bell-test, and in our first encounter with Zabuza?"
Naruto wasn't crying anymore. The sensation…..
'What…this is what…I….sensei….'
The boy listened carefully. Gripping each of Kakashi's words tightly.
"Naruto?" the hand across his scalp withdrew itself, coaxing the boy to raise his head; blue eyes, raw, terrified, desperate for hope, met Kakashi's single grey one. "When you became my Genin. I said that anyone who abandons their friends, are lower than scum. And against, Zabuza, I swore to protect you, along with Sakura, Sasuke and Tazuna."
"Being a Jinchuriki doesn't matter to me at all. You're still my student. That won't ever change," a simple, powerful and unconditional promise was made.
At those words, Naruto felt a new sensation flooding his heart. Up until then, only Iruka and the Hokage had shown such unconditional care for him. To hear it some Kakashi was…..
…indescribable.
Tears of joy began to creep into the corner of his eyes. But the boy quickly blinked them away. After taking a moment, he glanced back at his sensei.
"Sensei…I feel really bad because now you, Sasuke and Sakura are stuck here with me. But what hurts more than that. Is that….is that if we really are in another world. Then I can't become the Hokage at all. That was my dream for so long. Especially when other people glared at me. Before I knew I even was a Jinchuriki."
Kakashi's eye grew wide. 'So that's it. His goal, the icon that held him together, is missing. So now there's nothing for him to focus on.'
Once this realization came, the Jonin had somewhere to start from. Kakashi spoke with Naruto for a long, long while. Giving the blonde some reassurance and reminding him that they shouldn't' give up on their ambitions so easily. Glancing up to the stars, a new idea came to mind.
"Naruto. If you really believe that you can become the Hokage. Then we have even more reason to work to find a way back home. It might take a long while, but it's still a long way from being impossible. We will make it back to the Leaf Village. And we need to stay together to do it. Can I count on you to do that? For me? And for the Hokage?"
At his last words, Naruto became confused. "Uhhhhhh. How does Jii-jii even know where we are?"
"Hmhmhmhm," Kakahsi chuckled. "That, you don't need to worry about. He'll definitely send some people to look for us if we don't return to the village soon. What I meant was that the Hokage wouldn't' want you to stay down a beat yourself up. He'd tell you that a Ninja is one who endures, for a purpose or goal. Our goal is to find a way to get back home, and my goal is to do it so you can become the Hokage. Can you do that?"
Those words…..
….perked Naruto up like no others could.
With a rare, true smile on his face, the blonde stood up and nodded. "Ye-yeah! You can bet you can count on me, sensei! Believe it!"
Smiled at his student's demeanor, Kakashi led him back to the village. Yet, on the way, the pair passed by Sakura. At the sight of Naruto, her eyes darkened into pits of rage. Yet Kakashi's presence dissuaded the pinkette from trying anything.
This brought a fresh sigh from Kakashi. 'I hoped that talking to Naruto would solve everything. Hopefully these issues with Sakura will pass with time.'
The Jonin could not be more wrong. As the next day, a ruckus could be heard from the village. Initially, Kakashi thought it was a couple of children, but none of his Genin.
"Mr. Kakashi!" Glancing up the Jonin groaned, mixing disapproval and resignation.
A parent was leading Naruto and Sakura towards him, gripping both by the shoulders. Sakura was growling at Naruto, who sported a series of bruises on his face. Bruises that weren't there the night before.
"Hhhhhhh," the Jonin rose to his feet. 'Guess I'll need to deal with this.'
"Hello there, Mrs. Rei. I take it that noise was coming from my Genin?"
"Indeed. This girl was beating-up the poor boy, claiming they were here because of his fault. When I ordered her to stop she even claimed he deserved it for being a selfish monster!"
There was more that followed, but Kakashi tuned it out. Glaring at Sakura, the girl hmphed and turned away. Her nose stuck to the sky, obsessed with her own blameless self-righteousness. While Naruto stood downcast, but gradually lightened up at Rei's words.
"Why the girl has no right to talk like that about Naruto at all. After he saved my son from those pirates that attacked us, and has been so helpful repairing our homes. There is nothing about him that could resemble a monster at all."
Naruto grinned at her words. Sakura opened her mouth, as a powerful grasp on her shoulder commanded silence.
"I see," Kakashi answer, in a light tone that belied his mood. "Thank you for helping Naruto, Mrs. Rei. Would you mind helping him with those injuries? I need to have a talk with Sakura."
His serious tone sparked a shudder of fear in the pinkette. As Naruto left with the woman, Kakashi's hold grew tigher on Sakura's arm, to Shunshin them away to the forest.
Standing in the trees, the Jonin let go of her and leaned back. "Sakura. What did I-"
"Sensei! How can you do this!?" The girl shouted indignantly. "Just because you say it doesn't mean that we aren't stuck here because of Naruto's selfishness! All of us were close to getting back home when that idiot found the bottle instead of just leaving it alone! And then he just made a wish for adventures and now, we probably aren't even in the same world that home is! And now-!"
Kakashi listened to her rant, trying to be patient. Until the girl began to stride away from him.
"Sakura!" seizing her attention, the Jonin pondered how to approach her feelings.
'ANBU teams were so much easier than this. All of them had some problems but never needed this much attention at all. Why do Naruto and Sakura need to be so demanding?'
"First, if you want to blame anyone for us getting suck here, then you should blame me. I am the one who gave Naruto the idea to wish for more adventures and ways to grow stronger in the first place. And I didn't stop him from making that wish either. Plus-"
The man scratched his head, embarrassingly.
"I did take one of those wishes for more Icha-Icha books. That might have been useful to get us back home. Although, to get the latest one three years early…."
A bright blush shone through the pervert's mask.
"UUHHHHHAAAAAAA!" A loud, winy cry tore through the forest.
"That's Not The Point Sensei!" the immature, self-obsessed girl proclaimed. "The Point Is That We're Stuck Here, That Naruto Made That Wish, And That Sasuke's Mad At Me, And I Can't See My Mom Or Dad Anymore And We're Completely Cut-Off From Anyone Help Or back-up in a Strange New….hehehe…New World Where We Don't Know Good Guys From Bad Guys, And Have No Concrete Way To Get Home!"
The girl began panting half-way through her rant. While Kakashi rubbed his throbbing ear-drums. 'Where can I start from here. Wait….'
"Sasuke? How is he mad at you? And how is Naruto responsible for that?"
"He just is sensei!" was all that came.
"I was talking to Sasuke about how we were stuck her, cut off from any friends or family that we have. Naruto made that wish, and he's not worried at all because he doesn't have anyone in the Leaf Village to go back to."
"The Boy's an orphan so there aren't any parents for him to miss while we are here. So he's totally ignorant of how Sasuke-kun and I are feeling, so far away from anyone who cares about us, and that we are missing as well. I bet you have family and friends back in the village that are worried about you too!"
Kakashi froze at those words, his patience slipping away. Rapidly growing shorter as Sakura continued her rant.
"It's just like when we were back at the academy! Naruto's so immature, careless, he never does any hard work and made a fool all of himself. It's all because he wasn't raised right with a mother and father at all. Nobody to tell him how other people feel or to think about others than just himself and what he wants."
"I know it, and was talking about it to Sasuke-kun. He and I both have people back in the village that care about us, but nobody cares about Naruto. So he has it the easiest and he's not thinking about us at all."
At that point, Kakashi's face bent over, smacking into his palm. 'She….talked about having no parents….to Sasuke.'
The pinkette's back was turned away. Her eyes closed, arms flailing at random to vent her chaotic frustrations.
"Then Sasuke-kun got mad and told me to shut up about Naruto. He even…"
The girl paused, he hands dropping to rub a bruise on her stomach.
"Sasuke-kun…hit me. And told me I didn't know anything and was as bad as Naruto. He even said that-"
"What!" Kakashi cut through Sakura's mood.
A fresh breeze passed through the trees, sharp as a razor-knife. Sakura froze in place, glancing up timidly.
Now Things were serious. Kakashi was angry.
"Ummm. S-S-Sasuke-kun h-hit me. He-He said I w-was just as bad a-as Nar-Naruto-baka."
Kakashi groaned. Filled with frustration, disappointment and livid. 'So much for teamwork.'
"I'll speak with him. And take care of this Sakura."
"Oh, Good!" the girl cried in excitement. "So you're finally going to punish Naruto for his selfish screw-up!"
Within her head, Inner-Sakura was cheering as a chibi-Naruto was beaten-up by a chibi-Kakashi. 'Chaaa-That'll be the best! Naruto will final-"
"Sakura!"
The girl came back to her sense, stumbling back in fear. The Jonin towered over her, his single eye carrying the darkness of shadow, deep and foreboding. A cold, piercing demeanor cast out in apulse from him. The man's patience and temper were lost.
"Listen, and do...not...miss...a…single…word…from…me."
"Believe me, it takes a lot to get me to lose my temper, little girl. And even more for me to actively despise someone. But your actions and words are now close to accomplishing both."
"First. You actually think Naruto is happy that he is an orphan? Or that there is nobody around for him at all?! Did you forget that Sasuke is the same!"
"The Entire Uchiha clan, Sasuke's own family. All of them are dead. He is just as much of an orphan as Naruto is. Did you ever think of how similar they are, and how much your words about having no family can hurt Sasuke!?"
Sakura mind froze. A chilling wall of ice grasped her emotions. Her heart began to sink, down a deep endless hole of despair. Kakashi's slow, heavy words dragger her further to those depths.
"We are here, yes. We are cut-off from the Leaf Village, yes. Will we get back or move on somewhere by blaming each other?" The Jonin paused, wait for an answer. When none came, he took a step closer, towering over her.
"I asked you a question, Sakura. And expect an answer in return."
"N-n-b-(sniff)-No." The girl squeaked.
Kakashi leaned back, giving Sakura some room to breath. Yet, his anger remained.
"If it was, each of us could blame you for wasting the second one of the Genie's wishes. A wish that could have been used to take us back to the village. Does Naruto blame you for wasting that wish like Sasuke does?"
"No," the man continued. Kakashi was too far gone to wait for any reply.
"As for Naruto not having anyone in the village who cares for him. Gloating over that is disgraceful and disgusting for any Shinobi to say. Naruto is always alone, and beneath that smile he is deeply depressed and isolated. But, he endures it. Everyone in the village knows about him, and would wish for him to be kicked-out of the village. Some would even celebrate if he was murdered. He has suffered, in ways that would break you, and many other people."
"In all honesty, the singular worst person on this team. And the one who has hurt both him and Sasuke more than anyone else. Is you."
Kakashi's anger spilled out through his words. Recalling the same comments from her while spying on his team prior to the Bell-test. The man's rarely-felt emotions were now dictating his words, without much care for what they revealed.
"You have been cared for, loved, praised, and protected by a loving family all your life. If you were in trouble, other people came to help. Or you could run to safety in someone's arms. You have been sheltered from many deep, harsh realities of the world."
"Sasuke and Naruto have nobody. Their families were stolen from them, and they would give anything to see their parents again. On the day you were assigned to a team, you even had the gall the say that Naruto was lucky to not have any family. Ever since we became a team, Naruto has asked to spent time with you just as you have demanded from Sasuke. And you hit, throw or kick Naruto away in response."
"Nobody has ever been as physically abusive towards Naruto are you are, Sakura. Even after a battle, you run to Sasuke despite that facts that Naruto could be hurt as well. You abandoned your comrades…."
"Huh?"
Those accusations echoed through Kakashi. His tirade was cut-short. Glancing down, he saw the terror and hurt in Sakura's eyes.
"HHHHhhhhhhhhhh."
Fwoomp.
Kakashi sighed deeply, dropping to the ground, overwhelmed. Wracked with guilt.
A long minute passed, with Sakura recalling all of her sensei's accusations, until...
"Sakura," he spoke up. In a far gentler tone.
"I will admit. I guess, I am partly to blame. For letting those incidents happen instead of addressing them sooner. And scolding you is more than a little hypocritical."
"But no more. I will not allow you to hurt Naruto in any way, from now on. Is that clear?"
"Y-y-y-yyes-se-sensei…" The girl sputtered out, past the lump in her throat.
Locking eyes with the pinkette, Kakashi saw the deep fear he had sparked in her. Driving his personal guilty deeper.
Crawling to his feet, the Jonin stepped forward.
The girl tried to step back, fearful of her sensei's next choice. Until she found herself wrapped in a light, apologetic hug. The minuscule warmth clashing with her frozen state; invoked her to tremble, but still return it to grasp for relief against the pure fear propelled into her mind.
Kakashi was deeply shaken. Bewildered over why he reacted so passionately.
'Why. Why did I become so angry?'
Think back to her words, Kakashi was at a loss over his own reaction. 'She was talking about guilt, blame, orphans, par-….parents.'
The image of Sakumo Hatake, and Kakashi life after the White Fang's suicide, came into his head.
'So that's why I became so angry at her words. Those emotions. The lonesomeness and betrayal after…'
"Sakura." Let going of her, Kakashi knelt down, placing one hand on her shoulder. Lightly boring into her eyes.
"You are the only person between the Genin of this team, who has had any support or stability in their lives. Naruto and Sasuke have both suffered, but their goals and ambitions prevented them from falling into despair and anger. Now. Those goals have been ripped away."
"That is why Sasuke's lashed out at you."
The girl's eyes widened. Looking up, her eyes met Kakashi's. Conveying a serious message to her.
"Do you remember his words to you, that day you were assigned to Team 7? When you first talked to him about Naruto not having any parents?"
A few moments passed. The girl's eyes grew wide remembering a promise she made to herself. 'He. Sasuke-kun said I was annoying, and it hurt.…After that I….I promised to start treating Naruto nicer.. And I've broken that promise.'
"I….I remember….sensei." she whispered.
"Good. Now, Naruto is feeling the same way as Sasuke. The difference between them is, that I talked to him yesterday and helped to alleviate those feelings. But with Sasuke….."
…..
"Sakura. Tell me exactly what Sasuke said after he hit you."
With a few gulps to clear away the lump in her throat, Sakura began to murmur, her voice softer than a mouse.
"W…well…He said that if Naruto had given him the w…wish from the Genie, then he's have been closer to his goal. But now he…he can't, because the certain someone that Sasuke-kun wants to k…(gulp)…to kill is too far away for him to touch even if he did grow stronger."
'So now….Sasuke's lost as well. But unlike Naruto's despair, his anger don't have a goal to focus on, and has started to lash out. Hhhhhhh.' Kakashi acknowledged.
'I…I guess…I'll have to talk to him as well.'
"I'll talk to Sasuke about that. But for you." His grip on her shoulder tightened.
"No more. Trying to complain about anything around Sasuke will only bring him and you more suffering. And with Naruto. You will not strike, blame, or do anything that would hurt him at all. If something would endanger him or someone else, then you can pull him back, or come and get me. Understood?"
After Sakura nodded in response. Kakashi sent her back to the village.
Once the girl was out of sight, Kakashi slumped to the ground. Thinking back to his prior life, memories of his own Jonin-sensei starting filtering through the haze.
'I never thought that being a sensei meant dealing with all these problems. Things were so easier on teams with more Jonin or in the ANBU. How…..'
'How did sensei deal with all of this between me and Ob…Obito? Somehow he could always bring our fights to an end so casually.'
Dragging himself to his feet, the man moved on to his most difficult student.
He found Sasuke, taking a long walk through the forests. Even without a Sharingan, Kakashi clearly saw the clenching shoulders, the rigid steps, and flowing stains on his cheeks.
The strain and anger carried by the boy palpable in the air.
'So. No Itachi to focus on, and his emotions become so volatile he longer has any control over himself.'
The Jonin-sensei took a moment. Recalling how he had approached Sakura and Naruto.
'One of them doesn't really hide what they are thinking, but keeps their feelings under a tight lock. The other was all too willing to express herself at any outlet available, then lashed out instead of looking at her own issues. Sasuke barely shows any emotions but pride, frustration or anger. Maybe it won't be a good idea to just wing, this.'
Stepping out on the branch, he called to the Uchiha.
Sasuke stopped, turning to face Kakashi. Who saw his fears confirmed in the eyes he met. Behind the unflinching gaze, lay a silhouette of the pressure within Sasuke's mind. Almost ready to explode.
"What do you want, Kakashi!"
"I was just talking to Sakura," the Jonin nonchalantly answered. "She mentioned some, very hurtful words that caused quite a violent reaction from you.
Don't worry. She was in the wrong, and I scolded her for it. But for now, I want to talk about you."
Sasuke froze at the mention of that incident. His left fist, the one he sunk into Sakura's gut, clenched at the memory. "Hh. I've got nothing to say to you. And I don't…grrr…don't want to share any words. I'm…rrr….fine, and there's nothing for you to say."
As Sasuke stepped away, Kakashi decided to test the waters.
"Really? Striking a comrade isn't really acceptable behaviour from the Rookie of the Year. Nor is it something I will let you walk away from. Naruto already had the courage to share his feelings with me, and felt more than a little better afterwards. Especially since he's cut-off from his goal as well and-"
"Shut up!" Sasuke angrily proclaimed, facing away from Kakashi, his body trembled volatilely. "That Loser and I are completely different in our goals. His is a fantasy that can't ever be reached. My is an ambition that will come to reality. He wants people to admire him, and I don't care about what others think about me. We're both orphans, so yeah I got angry when I heard Sakura complaining. But I knew all of my family, and my clan! And all of them were stolen from me by….."
The image of Itachi dominated Sasuke's thoughts. Almost taunting how he was now so far away, and still hasn't paid for what he did to their clan.
"I was so close. So close to finally having the power to make him pay. Naruto and Sakura stole the opportunity out from under me. And now I'm stranded here, far away from wherever he is. And I still haven't made him pay for what he did to my clan."
Sasuke took another step. Moving further away from Kakashi.
While the Jonin eyed his student, carefully.
'Alright. I have at least one angle to approach from. And, this is another talk that is probably overdue.'
The man waited, spying a large tree in Sasuke's path, and came to a decision.
Once the Uchiha was close, a trail of Ninja-wire sprung out. Encircling the tree and the boy, who found himself pinned down within a second. Once enough wire covered the Genin, Kakashi pulled it taunt.
"Grrrr! Grrrrrr! What!? Let me out!" Sasuke began to thrash, wildly.
"How could I have been trapped like this!? How!? Naruto, come out and finish this prank, you Loser!"
"Sasuke." Kakashi called his attention. As his student faced him, the Jonin-sensei met a pair of sharingan's blazed with anger.
"Look. I'm not the kind of person to talk about personal issues. Nor do I like to probe into someone else's at all. But, I still have to live up to my own rules."
"Those who break the Rules are scum. But. Those who abandoned others. Are worse than scum. There are a lot of different ways someone can be abandoned. And I'm guilty of all of them. But that is why I looked at those past failures and want to avoid them as much as I can."
"What does that have to do with me!" Sasuke shouted. "You just acknowledged that Sakura was the one at fault, so she needed some sense to be knocked into her! She wasted one wish that could have been saved to get us back to the Village! And Naruto brought us here with last one!"
His teeth clenched in fury, nearly cracking one of them.
"I never even wanted to be with this team in the first place! I am an Avenger, and I need to become stronger than my prey. I was about to wish for someone who could teach me what I needed to learn to destroy Itachi-….."
Sasuke grew pale, and silent. Mentioning his brother by name, for the first time in five years.
"Itachi?" Kakashi coaxed.
"Don't you dare mention his name!" the Avenger, roared. His Sharingan blazing.
"HHHHhhhhhhhhh."
"You truly hate him that deeply don't you." It was a statement, not a rhetorical question.
"Sasuke. I want you to do something for me. And I won't accept no for an answer," the Jonin's promised, tightening the string.
"I want you to tell me everything…
Hhhhhh….everyone that happened that night of the massacre."
"Don't argue," he cut-off the boy's refusal.
"This is eating you up inside. Making you unfocused and weak. Think about it, how easily did I catch you with these wires when you already knew I was here? You're a talented kid, and very advanced for you age. Nobody can deny that. But focusing on your ambition too much made you lose sight of your surroundings and walk right into my trap."
Sasuke's frowned darkened, before growing softly at those words. Now, part of his anger was directed at himself.
Kakashi noticed how much his praise alleviated the boy's darkness, and offered a compromise.
"But, I'm not an unfair person. Asking you to reveal the darkest day of your life is a hefty request. So."
Kakashi took a deep breath. Followed by two more.
Bracing himself for what was to come.
"So I'll share my own worst memory with you. Well…." Closing his eye in response.
"One of the-"
"Shut up!" Sasuke shouted, aggression and outraged dominating his voice.
"What Makes You Think You Know Anything About It! It's Easier For You To Talk, Nothing In Your Life Can Ever Compare To Me! Nobody Else Has Ever Lost Their Entire Family Like I Did! Everything Single Person I Knew And Cared About Was Destroyed! By The Man I Admired The Most In This World! You Can't Compare To That!"
Sasuke's voice began to grow deep, etched with iron-clad conviction in his words. But just as the metal can be, Sasuke's beliefs were strong yet brittle. They could not bend, and would be broken sharply under the right conditions.
"Maybe If I Came And Killed Everyone Who's Ever Meant Anything To You, Then You'd Understand Me! Maybe Then I'd Listen To You. Then, You'd Have Some Idea Of How I Feel."
Kakashi nodded, in agreement.
"That might be true. It's an interesting theory. But I'm afraid it wouldn't really work, even if we were back in the Leaf Village. You're a little late to put it to the test."
"You see. Everyone that you're already talking about….has already died."
Sasuke's eyes shot open, wide with surprise. His body was still, the tense anger blocked by pure shock.
"Sasuke. Every. Single. Person. Who I have cared that deeply about. Has been dead for more than 10 years past. I've been around longer than you have, kid. And I've seen…well…a lot more than my share of troubles. You're not the only one who's lost somebody. Or the only one who has lost every single person they deeply cared for."
"And the first person I lost…." Kakashi's voice faltered.
He succeeded in breaking the cloud of anger with Sasuke. But needed to go a step further.
"Hhhhhhhhhh. And the first one of them to die. Was someone I admired more than anyone else. And yet he betrayed me with his death."
"That man was my father. Hatake Sakumo. Tell, me Sasuke. Have you ever…
Kakashi voice faltered again, struggling to speak past old wounds of loss and regret.
'This is harder than I thought. And I knew it would be very, very difficult.'
"Have you ever heard of the White Fang of the Leaf?"
The boy shook his head, almost in a daze.
"I thought so. That was the name other people gave my father. Many admired his skill and talents in battle. No one more so than I. In fact, even the Fourth Hokage one praised that my father made even the Sannin pale in comparison."
"Everyone looked up to my father. Especially me. I measured everything I did against him, and wanted to surpass him. Mostly because other people always measured my abilities against his. Being…trapped in his shadow was a strange case. I loved it more than anything, yet my desire was to grow beyond it. To make him and other people recognize me as better than him."
"Every word that my father spoke was something I took to heart. Tell me, does this sound familiar, Sasuke?"
The Genin had begun to tremble. Not from rage or confusion, but awe and pain. Sasuke's mind was so dazed, the boy nodded at Kakashi's words. Recalling his own adoration of Itachi.
Kakashi continued.
"I see. My mother died when I was very young. To the point that my father raised me on his own. Until-(huh)….
Until he was the first…one…to…die. By…(huh…gulp…huh)…by taking his own….life."
Now Sasuke gasped. He found it unfathomable. A Great Ninja, one higher than even the Sannin. Taking their own life.
Kakashi barely noticed it. A tear, trickled from his eye. The man was barely able to stand, his threatening the break. The man spoke of his own memories and feelings so rarely, calling them back was pushing his mind to the breaking point. So, the Jonin fell on practiced habits, cutting himself off from his feelings, to complete the job he had set for himself.
"It happened when I was 7 years old.[1] Almost the same age you were at the massacre. There was an incident on a mission, and my father was blamed for it. Everyone in the village turned against him, angry at how their hero had betrayed them. In the end, the shame was so much."
"After my father took his own life, I became obsessed with becoming the perfect ninja. I followed every rule in the book. Chastised everyone for doing the wrong things. I became obsessed with my goal, driven by how much I hated my father, for betraying everything I left towards him."
"In the end. That same attitude….."
"It. Caused. Every. One. Of. My. Team. To Die. Their deaths are my fault, Sasuke. Because I was the same as you are. You cling to your hatred and need for revenge because it is the only way to keep you from falling into despair."
Silence. Unnerving.
Oppressing.
Several moments passed…..
Followed with more. All in silence between both men. As Kakashi tried to regain some composure with his emotions, and these revelations sunk into Sasuke.
"Ch…CH…Ahhh…..He….."
Sasuke clenched his eyes shut. Cursing his sensei for binding his arms. Trying to blink them.
He failed, and a series of tears leaked from his eyes. Following the bridge of his nose, and dropping to the ground.
Kakashi ignored the tears, out of respect. Then continued.
"You and I certainly haven't had a charmed life, exactly. We both had talents that were thought as prodigious in our studies at the Academy. And led to others developing admiration, envy or jealousy for them. Yet, all that we cared about were our own skills and to follow the examples set forth by men we idolized."
"Men who betrayed us, leaving us lost, confused, and filled with anger. Now Sasuke. You heard about my life. And we're not leaving this place until you tell me about the night of the massacre."
With that, the clearing grew silent. Sasuke was struggling to breath. The shock of how accurate Kakashi's revelations coaligned with the Uchiha's rocked him to his core. While the memories of his own worst nightmare threatened to spill out even more shame, sadness and regret from his heart.
Kakashi was patient. Even as 30 minutes passed, he didn't move.
Until his patience paid-off.
Slowly. Hesitantly. Sasuke began to talk about that day. How he had found his home littered with bodies. Where he found his brother. What Itachi had done to him afterwards. From there, Sasuke's anger began to grow again, talking about his pledge to hunt and destroy Itachi. No matter what. Before recalling where he and Kakashi were, and trembling with rage.
Kakashi was shaken to his core.
'This….the Tsukoyomi. I read of it back when I was learning about Sharingan. But I never imagined the truth, or that Itachi had administered it to Sasuke. And on top of that, I was wrong."
Kakashi hung his head, but kept a firm grip on the wire binding Sasuke to the tree.
'I'm going to have to think about this a lot. But for now….'
"Sasuke. Do you recall how I talked about building yourself up through missions, training, and overcoming danger?"
Facing the Jonin, Sasuke nodded.
"I will confess. I was something of a hypocrite back then. I was planning on just having our team doing more D-rank missions for a long while. I wasn't even planning on any extra training back in the village. We succeeded in the Land of Waves and I didn't see any reason the change a system that worked."
"But now. Now things are different. We're stuck in a pretty dangerous place. But unlike back there, we don't have a village to fall back to if things become too dangerous. We only have each other to count on. And I need to make sure you, Sakura and Naruto can depend on each other. It might be the only way to ensure that we can survive long enough to find a way back to the village. I need to trust that you will care and support us, not just yourself. Otherwise, you are no different than Itachi."
"Stop!" Kakashi forcibly cut-off the shout on Sasuke's lips.
"Getting angry at me won't change that truth. If you focus only on yourself and your lost ambitions, then you are no different from Itachi. And no different from how I was, when my own feelings caused every one of my teammates to die."
"I was listening to you. Itachi's words truly have imprinted themselves in your heart. His challenge for you to grow, and try to kill him by filling yourself with hatred. But. Have you ever thought about doing something different, Sasuke?"
"I'm not talking about giving up on revenge. I'm talking about defying what Itachi told you to do. Gaining the Mangekyo Sharingan would mean killing someone that you care about. That could include Naruto and Sakura. But that is not who you are. When we encountered the Demon Brothers, or faced Zabuza and Haku on the bridge. Were you thinking about Itachi at all?"
"N…..no." Sasuke confessed.
"And do you regret anything there? Even when you jumped infront of Naruto, to protect him. Do you regret that at all?"
Kakashi had a plan. And was praying for it to work.
"No. What is this about?" Sasuke replied.
"Well, to start. You did defeat two Chunin single-handedly in the first case. But, in the second one, it means that you were content in that moment. And it was where you risked losing both your life and your revenge to save Naruto. Plus, that is where you awakened your sharingan, at long last. When he was the furthest thing from your thoughts."
Slowly, Sasuke's eyes changed. Not into a dojutsu, but a new light flickered in them. Kakashi decided to press the topic home.
"The one time when you weren't focusing on Itachi was durign that mission. And, you prformed spectacularly. Even in our encounter with Zabuza, you and Naruto deceived and outmaneuvered him. Someone as dangerous as me. And later, it was after Naruto arrived that your sharingan awakened. You grew more powerful through fighting with a comrade, instead of ignoring them. Something that contradicts Itachi's words."
"To tell you the truth, Sasuke. Itachi ruined your life enough as it is. So why should you follow his words and his instructions if they came from the source of the destruction of your clan?"
Those words broke through. Sasuke could literally feel a fresh creak in his mind. All his life…he'd never thought to defy his brother at all. Nor did he actually question why he was following a murder's advice.
Finally. At long last, Kakashi released the ninja wire. Letting Sasuke fall to the ground, completely slack.
"You could still follow Itachi's words, Sasuke. Or, you could prove that he was wrong. And find a different way to prove that."
"I want you to think about everything I've said. But be warned,"
Sasuke's head rose, facing the Lethal Copy-nin. Catching the tone of his words, cold and harder than steel.
"I will not let you hurt Naruto or Sakura any more. Someone like Itachi would hurt them, even kill them for getting in the way of their ambitions. Do you truly want to become the very man you hate and despise so deeply? Or do you want to lose even more people in your life than you already have?"
"We will find a way back to the village, Sasuke. But we need to depend on each other to get there. I'll leave you to think about it."
The Jonin Shunsined away, leaving Sasuke to his thoughts.
Back in the village, he entered the house Tarm had loaned to the Ninja.
Where he collapsed, exhausted and drained from the emotional talk.
Flashback end.
Now, in the middle of the sea, Kakashi look over his Genin.
'All of those conversations really took their toll on me. And to think such problems were simmering just below the surface for each of them. Since this team was formed, I've been too complacent. None of them should have gotten that far out of hand in the first place.'
'Still,' his eyes casting around the calm setting. 'Now they are interacting more amicably than ever before. And my bonds towards each of them individually have grown from those forced conversations. Maybe this was for the better.'
Naruto had moved from push-ups to sit-ups. Taking his teacher words to heart, the boy approach Kakashi before they left for advice on how to improve and be of more help to everyone. The Jonin encouraged him to train and exercise more in case they were attacked by Pirates. The boat was quite small, leaving sparring out of question. But it did have enough room for physical exercise and made taijutsu practice more difficult from the shifting balance on the waves.
Sasuke was gazing out to the horizon. Lost in deep thought, clearly trying to make sense of the eye-openers that Kakashi forced on him two days before. Still, the boy had given a quite apology to Sakura one day passed. And carried himself differently than before.
While Sakura was trying something new. After surprising both Sasuke and Naruto with her own apologies, she held true to her promise to no longer hurt Naruto. Despite some very close calls out of old habits. Now, her nose buried in a book from Tarm's collection to learn more about the Navy and different islands in the world they planned to explore.
Deciding to take an optimistic stance towards his team, Kakashi nodded to himself.
Before-
"Hey! There's a ship off in the distance! Believe!"
Sure enough, Kakashi saw Naruto pointing on head at the outline of a ship against the horizon.
End.
In the original Naruto series, there never really was a scene where Naruto and Kakashi discussed how the latter viewed him relating to the Kyubi. I wanted to add that here, with keep both of them in-character with their original selves. This is Kakashi as he was after the Land of Waves Arc, still a fresh Jonin-sensei, and Naruto after learning about Jinchuriki only weeks earlier.
As for the other scenes between teacher and student.
My personal belief for some of Kakashi's negligence as a sensei, was because he approached his team like others he had led as an ANBU Captain or Jonin-squad leader. Kakashi was a successful leader before Team 7 was assigned to him; but each of those teams would have been with Chunin, or fellow ANBU or Jonin. Mature and experienced shinobi, with their own training regimens and more crucially, their own support-systems for personal problems. Factors that younger Genin wouldn't have, and Kakashi failed to comprehend. He led Team 7 just as he had led other squads throughout his career, without taking the more interpersonal and hands-on approach that each of them needed. And he largely avoided talking about personal problems until his hand was forced.
Personally, I do admire Kakashi as a great leader and a skilled teacher. But that really didn't happen unless it consisted of one-on-one training with his students. And his role in Sakura's training was never really depicted in the manga or the anime.
Here, that is the case. He's the only one for the Genin to turn to and can't deflect those responsibilities with a different mission or assignment; band-aide solutions. But, I do want to keep him in-character; making any personal conversations awkward, unfamiliar and somewhat chaotic for him to approach.
Each of these will be the start of some long-term evolutions for each character. They are still the same people, though. As even Sasuke's desire for revenge won't be broken just overnight. But everything needs to start somewhere.
I only hope that I presented both him and his students in ways that were both authentic and personal for the readers.
[1]-Naruto Shippuden Episode 119. Minato Namikazi stated Sakumo Hatake's suicide was 5 years before Obito's death. That mission was Kakashi's first as a Jonin, a rank he achieved at age 12. While on Sasuke's side, when the original series began, he was aged 12 while Itachi was 17. There is a 5-year age gap between them, and the lore of Naruto stated Itachi was age 13 when he massacred the Uchiha clan, and the month of the Uchiha massacre was not specifically stated in sources that I am aware of. Doing the math, Sasuke life was destroyed somewhere between 4-5 years before he graduated the Academy.
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