Chapter 12: Life and death
With the death of Theodore, the serial murder case came to a close. The Familiaran withdrew their declaration of war which was a relief for the knight order. All was well. Too well actually.
I just killed a man and I wasn't punished. They said that it couldn't be helped since it was either him or us. I was even praised for stopping the murderer and was given a bonus. Back in my old world, if a police officer killed someone, there would be investigations and that officer would receive backlash... But in this world, I was even praised.
However, that was not the thing that was bothering me the most.
Despite killing someone, I felt nothing. Shouldn't I have some sort of guilt or even a nightmare from that? However, there was nothing. I was more bothered by my shadow which killed him.
The feeling that overcame me when my shadow attacked was eerie. There was magic that involved controlling shadows and darkness but I didn't learn that type of magic. I don't even know how to use my mana to produce light so there was no way I could have controlled my shadow.
Also, that eerie feeling was really disturbing. It was like staring at a deep dark abyss. I once asked the magicians in my unit what they felt when using magic and I don't think they said they would feel that feeling.
So what in the world was that? Are there forces aside from magic in this world? What could possibly make my shadow act on its own?
I looked at my shadow. It mimicked my movements like a regular shadow... What am I doing? Am I going to doubt my own shadow?
It was currently late in the afternoon and I was sorting out the reports. I also had to write about the serial murder case. Writing Theodore's name didn't make me feel anything. Not even anger or guilt. Was this normal?
"Ah, Mikage. Keep up the good work", Captain Noel entered the office.
"How are things with the Familiaran and the Kageyama Clan?" I asked.
"Things are fine now. The Familiaran sent an apology to the Kageyama Clan for suspecting them. It's a good thing that the Kageyama Clan didn't make a fuss about it."
"That's great", I said as I sorted out the papers.
Captain Noel was silent for a while.
"Mikage. Take a day off tomorrow."
That caught me off guard.
"Wait... Why?" I asked.
"You've been through many cases even if you were just recently summoned in this world. You need to rest for a while. Especially since you... well... did something you're not used to."
She must be talking about how I killed Theodore. Although I wasn't that bothered by it, she must have noticed something off in me. I guess I do need a vacation.
"Also, your sword is broken right? You could buy a new one using the unit's funds. Just keep the expenses reasonable", she said.
###
I was walking down the streets of Westa's western district. The commercial area of the western district had many well-known weapon shops. However, I don't know what makes a good weapon.
Temma said to try out the sword with a few swings and check how it feels with my hand. My previous sword was a bit on the heavy side and felt rather unbalanced on my hand. It was a miracle that I managed to hold on against Theodore.
An uneasy feeling washed over me. It was the same feeling I felt when Theodore powered-up and when my shadow acted on its own. I looked at the distance and I somehow knew that something bad was going on there.
"Hey there. Fancy meeting you here", Amelia patted my shoulder. That snapped me out of it.
"Hey, Amelia. What are you up to?" I asked.
"I just received payment for helping on the case. I figured I'd treat myself for a job well done. How about you?"
"I was given a day off to unwind for a bit. That's why I decided to shop for a weapon that suits me."
"Oh yeah. Thanks for holding off Theodore until Temma came."
"It wasn't much. If I was a bit more careful, my sword wouldn't have been broken and I would've lasted a bit longer."
"No. It's amazing that you bought enough time for Temma to come. You fought against someone radiating that much killing intent. A normal person would freeze up in that situation."
"Is that so?"
Amelia thought for a while.
"Why don't we hang out today? I can help you out with appraising a weapon. I am a great detective after all", she offered.
I had no reason to reject her offer so we walked towards a weapon shop. Amelia recommended that shop since according to her, many famous adventurers shop there.
The bell of the shop rang as we entered. There was no one there except for a man at the counter. Swords, spears, and axes lined up in the walls and racks.
"So what kind of weapons do you know how to use?" Amelia asked.
"Temma trained me on how to use a sword. I think I'll stick to that weapon", I answered.
"How about you try this one? It's made up of a light material so you could unleash a fury of swift strikes", she handed me a sword.
I swung it for a bit and it felt off. It was too light so I decided to not take it. Amelia suggested a few more swords for me. They were either too long, too short, too heavy, or too light. None of them fits me.
"Maybe I should just pick a random sword. It's impossible to find a sword that fits me", I said.
"No. A weapon is your most trusted companion. It is literally the thing that would decide whether you'll live for another day. We have to be careful and find a sword that fits you", she scolded me.
I walked to a barrel that was filled with swords. A certain sword caught my eye. I picked it up and took a look at it. The sword had a wavy blade and a wooden handle. I swung it a few times and it felt right in my hands. It was not too heavy nor too light and it was just the right length.
"Ah. A kris sword. It's rare to find one here in Westa", Amelia common.
"I like this one. I wonder how much is this", I said.
I walked to the man and asked about the sword. It was actually surprising how cheap it was so I asked Amelia to appraise it since it might have problems. However, she didn't know how to judge it since she had no idea what it was made of.
The sword felt right in my hands so I bought it. It felt really comfortable so I trusted my instincts.
"It's almost time for lunch. Wanna grab a bite?" I asked.
"Then let's go to my favorite place", Amelia answered.
We went to a fastfood place called Kiara Fried Phoenix. It was my second time there so I already knew how delicious their food was.
When it was our turn to order, the orange-haired manager grinned.
"Kikkeriki! Is this young man you're boyfriend, Amelia? I thought you were too busy to find a man?" she asked.
"Hey, Kiara. This is Mikage, he's just my friend. Mikage, this is Kiara. Believe it or not, she's a phoenix", Amelia introduced her friend.
"A phoenix? Aren't they supposed to be flaming birds? She doesn't seem to be on fire", I asked.
"I'm just using a human form. And being on fire 24/7 isn't good for running business", she answered.
A phoenix could use a human form? This world was weirder than I thought.
We ordered our food and sat on a table.
"So... How are you?" Amelia asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I heard from Temma that your world was a very peaceful one. It has no monsters and magic and that human rights were followed very strictly. You just killed a man. You can tell me everything. If it's bothering you, you can let it out on me."
I looked at my shadow.
"The truth is... I'm bothered by it. Not because I killed Theodore or anything. I'm bothered by the lack of guilt or anything."
"Go on..."
"I know life is a very important thing. That's what I've been taught since I was young. But I just took a man's life and I felt nothing. I wasn't even horrified by what I've done. Is there something wrong with me?"
Amelia munched on her fries.
"No. It's normal. In fact, it's good."
"What do you mean?"
"You see... Your heart already accepted that what you did was a good thing before your mind did."
"A good thing? How is killing a man a good thing?"
"So what do you want? Is it okay for you that Theodore would live while Temma died? Your heart already knows that you had no other choice and that the outcome was good. Temma and I lived. Even the targeted executive lived. And it's thanks to you."
What she said was right... I think...
"I've been in that kind of situation. I remember the first time I had to kill someone."
"What happened?"
"I was on a case and cornered the criminal. However, he had a bomb strapped on him and if he pressed the button, anything within 5 meters would go boom. There was no talking him out of it so I had to fire my gun."
I see... In her job, she was bound to encounter those kinds of situations.
"At first I hated myself for not feeling bad. I would try to think of any possible scenario that would avoid me killing him. I even thought that if I had enough conversational skills, I would've talked him out of it. I had many regrets... Until I received the thanks of the people around me. They didn't view me as a murderer. They saw me as the girl who saved their family from a maniac who wanted to explode. It's the same with you. You're not a murderer. You're the guy who saved Temma's life."
I see... This was how the world viewed its things... I guess it's the same in my world too. I shouldn't get hung over the life that I took but instead, I should appreciate the lives that I saved.
"Thanks, Amelia", I smiled.
"No problem... Although I'm sorry I can't dissolve your worries about your shadow", she said.
"It's that obvious?"
"Yeah. You look at your own shadow every now and then as if expecting it to go wild."
"It's my problem so there's no need to worry about it."
"If you say so..."
We finished our meal and went our separate ways. Today was a fruitful day. I found a good weapon and had a good talk with Amelia... I arrived at the barracks and saw a bird perched on the gate.
There was a case on its back and when I took it, the bird flew away. I opened the case and saw a letter.
[To: Noel Shirogane
From: Flare Shiranui]
I went to the office and saw Captain Noel drinking tea.
"Captain, I'm back", I told her.
"Welcome back. Did you find a good weapon?" she asked.
"Yeah. Anyways, there's a letter for you from someone named Flare Shiranui."
"Flare?! Lemme see it!" she smiled and took the letter from me.
Captain Noel was smiling brighter than usual. However, her smile faded when she finished her letter.
"Mikage. Do we have any cases that need to be done immediately?" she asked.
"Nope. There is nothing to worry about. Why?"
"I see... We're going on a mission tomorrow. You and me. We'll leave Temma to take charge of the unit while we're away. Flare needs my help."
Weekly Power Status
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Ranking 
-- Power
stone