Chapter 27: Renown Composition
Renown Composition couldn't help but feel like her friends were being very silly.
They weren't humans anymore. The same rules didn't have to apply. And even if they did, ponies had sex on casual dates. At least, she did on some of the dates she'd been on. It wasn't like she was about to have a foal with either one of them. It really wasn't a big deal.
Oh, but she did feel terribly selfish like she seemed to feel a lot since she'd emigrated. Especially now when Solar Spark came back from outside a couple of hours later and promptly fell asleep on the couch without saying anything. She definitely ruined the mood, and the night at that, because of a dumb slip up. It only made her feel worse.
Not much was said on the way back to Summer's Edge. The stallion was even unwilling to sit next to her on the train now, looking a mixture of sad and annoyed as they rode. When they finally stopped in the city, he only said that the two of them and Agile Trace should talk before offering a quick 'see you later'. It did nothing to help her worsening mood.
Thankfully, it was not terribly long before she saw Solar Spark and Agile Trace again, only three days. It was three days she had to think about exactly what she wanted to say and how to go about convincing them that it wouldn't be a big deal if she was with them both, and how it was actually a good idea. It was also three days that she wondered if she really was as selfish as all that. She certainly felt like it, the three days she didn't see them being some of the longest of her life. She hoped that they were thinking her still unspoken desires over and deciding it wasn't that bad. Solar Spark had certainly told Agile Trace since neither mare nor stallion stopped by during those three days.
It was terribly awkward when both the mare and the stallion finally showed up to Renown Composition's house. She put on tea to try and lighten the mood, but neither pony seemed to relax from how tense they were, and it made the earth pony tense, too. The atmosphere in the room was thick.
Agile sat on one couch on one side of the room, and Solar Spark sat on another as far away as he could, leaving Composition sitting on the third sofa in the middle of the room, equidistant from her two friends. She could tell what they were feeling as well as if she could read their thoughts with her mind.
The gray mare didn't hesitate to speak first. "I know how it seems to both of you, but I honestly don't think it would be that big of a deal if I was in a relationship with both of you," she said. "It's like, we're already halfway there, so why not…?" Somehow, it was unbelievable that this was the first time she was putting what all three knew she wanted out in the open.
"It would've been an easier idea to consider if you said that up front," Solar Spark said, flattening his ears as he talked. She wasn't sure how truthful the statement was, but she didn't interrupt.
"But like, hearing… what you said a few nights ago? Especially right then? I don't like that, and it just… completely puts me off."
"I would have liked to have heard something as well," Agile Trace said simply, looking down at her hooves for a second before turning her gaze back up. She ruffled her wings and fidgeted uncomfortably.
"I said something up front though!" Composition continued. "I told Sparky when I went on my first date with him that I liked you both, and I guess just assumed that–"
"The issue is that I can't do something like that," the stallion interrupted, speaking a bit more confidently. "I like you, obviously. A lot. And… well, I'm not good at, like… you know. And I know my thinking is bad, but I can't help it. And hearing you say her name right then did not help at all."
Composition watched both Agile and Solar Spark grimace, and lowered her own ears now. It really was that big of a deal.
"Celestia could set it up so that neither of you feel like I'm with both of you ponies though," she offered. "Time dilation is a thing, remember? She could make it seem I'm always only with one of you if we asked. It probably wouldn't be very difficult for her to do actually."
"No. I don't like that idea," Agile said automatically. She looked Composition in the eye as she said it, completely serious. "I don't like the idea of Celestia fucking with us again. It's still messing with my head even now trying to think about it, and I don't want another layer added that makes it more confusing and deceptive."
"It wouldn't be deceptive though!"
"It's inherently deceptive," Agile finished. "I don't like it."
Worse and worse Composition felt, hating the way this conversation was going. Neither of them were giving her an inch. Her ears were completely flattened now, pressing against her skull as she put her head down and closed her eyes.
"But like, I'm willing to keep going along with this," the pegasus offered quickly. "Not to, like, get the one up on Sparky or something. I just wanna make sure nothing like I think is gonna happen to force satisfaction on us does happen. I don't want to live in a world where I'm only getting imitations of my friends because we can't think our way out of this or this all explodes in our faces." A pause came, and then she finished, "Especially over something this dumb."
Composition almost felt hopeful until she opened her eyes and saw Agile's expression. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes moved between her hooves and Composition's face. It was enough of a tell to let her know this wasn't something Agile would like at all, even if she would do it.
Solar Spark looked about the same way. "I mean, I'm not saying I'm not willing to keep doing this thing where you go on dates with both of us," he started, "but I don't know if this is ever gonna do it for me. At least, not like this, especially not if it's… more than I initially imagined. It's already in my head."
"Honestly though, I don't even like the idea of you going on casual dates with both of us," Agile said. "Like, a one off with either of us isn't the same as you basically being actively involved with us both. But I worry about Celestia one hundred times more than that."
This was making Composition feel so bad. Of course her friends were selfless like this, and willing to do things they didn't like for her sake. She was making them agonize just for her, and for what? For her. They might as well have just–
"Wait, what?" she suddenly asked, interrupting Agile as she was in the middle of another point. "How did that ever become a worry? The thing about us not seeing one another if this didn't work out? Like, how did you even think of Celestia doing something like that? Did she talk to you about it?"
"Huh? No, but she put the idea in my head when she copied you," Agile explained. "Remember when we were telling you about how she imitated you, and we had to find you? That's what's been in my head the whole time. That she'd do something like that."
"When she tried to imitate me?" Composition asked, feeling completely confused. A thought started to hit her as the idea ran through her head. "And she told you that she did that intentionally, right?"
"Yeah? She kept saying it was for my satisfaction when I asked her, and presumably yours and Sparky's, too, presumably. Uh, why?"
"And you never liked the idea of me going on dates with both of you?" she asked. "Even casually?" The pegasus nodded, slightly confused, and the earth pony blinked.
Was… was Composition the one being manipulated by Celestia? The whole time she imagined that whole thing was put on for her, but now, she was thinking differently. As each new second came, she was becoming more and more sure that she was indeed the one being manipulated with that whole event, an event she only heard about backhandedly through her friends. Like a jigsaw puzzle, it was all falling into place.
"Uhh, are you okay, Composition?" Solar Spark asked. "What are you…?"
"Just give me a minute," she said, waving a hoof in dismissal as she stood up to pace. "I need to think this all through."
Celestia imitated Composition. She knew that much, but this whole time the idea was to simply put the idea out there that something like Agile described could happen? Agile was only going along with this because she was fearful of that idea, and Solar Spark was not comfortable at all with this. Neither wanted to be in this position, but both were for Composition's sake. A position that was only possible because of Agile's distrust of Celestia. If she weren't as concerned about the trust that could be had in her, then Agile would probably have moved on already to somepony new and Composition would be alone with the stallion. Both of them would probably be satisfied, but not Composition.
But that was the whole point of putting the thought out there. Because Composition wouldn't be satisfied with just one of them, not ever. She wanted Composition to take time away to set this whole grand scheme up. And it worked! That was the crazy part. Only hindsight was able to make clear to the mare exactly what was going on. Celestia was playing into just how selfish she really was.
"Composition?"
Suddenly, she was looking over at Solar Spark, and then Agile, and the next thing she knew, she was smiling and laughing hard. It was almost comical how firmly and assuredly Celestia guided everything into its right place for her to be in this position right now.
"I– I'm sorry," she said, stopping to take a few breaths and calm down. "I don't know why, but this is just hilarious to me. I'm sorry. Give me one more second."
She took another breath, then sighed, shaking her head with a stupid grin on her face at the thought. Completely ridiculous this whole was to her, and yet here they were.
"I– this whole thing… actually, nothing. It's nothing. It's fine. I can't get into it right now. Sorry if it looks like I'm being weird."
"What is it?"
"Nothing," she sighed. "It's nothing. Promise. I just need time to think a lot of things out. It's okay if you guys are both uncomfortable with this though. I understand. I'm… sorry for thinking this would work."
"Well, you don't need to be sorry," Solar Spark started. "That's why we're talking this out. So we can see what we can do."
"That's right. It's not like we're just gonna abandon you."
Composition nodded, but still didn't say anything, the thought of what should be done already in her head. It wasn't something she should do right now on whim, not without thinking it all out and being sure. But she certainly wasn't going to be telling it to either Agile or Solar Spark. They would certainly disagree if she told them what she was thinking here and now.
"I know you won't," she finally smiled. "I know you never would. You guys are the best, most amazing, most selfless ponies I know. Heck, even trying to go along with this for me even though neither of you like it is amazing." Neither smiled, but they both looked a little more at ease hearing her say that. That was good.
"I need to take time to myself again though. Think some things through," she started. Both began to speak up to object, but she stopped them in a hurry.
"It won't be as long as before. I just need a few days. No, not even that. Just one day. One day to think everything through, and then I'll tell you about it afterwards. Can I have that?"
They both looked skeptical, and both turned away. Solar Spark spoke up first.
"I'm fine with that," he said, "as long as you promise not to run away from us again? We're here for you if there's an issue. We can try and talk about it if we're making you upset."
"I'm not gonna do that," she assured him. "Just one day is what I need. That's all." She turned to Agile now, who was staring at her hooves with flattened ears. "Please?" she asked hopefully.
The pegasus finally looked up and let out a breath. "Fine. I'm okay with that. But you better make sure Celestia doesn't pull the same shit as before. I don't wanna find out I'm talking to a copy of you again."
Composition smiled again. "No promises," she lightly joked, earning a smile from both the unicorn and pegasus in return. "I like you both a lot."
More than you probably know, actually, she finished silently in her head.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone