Chapter 19: Eliza
"I had to turn it off," Brandon said. "I didn't expect her to break down like that, and didn't really know what to do. I thought you could pull over soon and try to talk to her."
"I will, but not yet," Eliza told him. "I wanna get as much driving as I can in before we switch, that way you're refreshed and we can do this all in one straight shot, you know?"
"Yeah, that's probably the best idea," he agreed. He sighed and rested his head on his chin, staring out the window with a listless expression on his face. Eliza could say she felt about the same way, although part of that was anger at a whole lot of people. The obvious causing most of it, of course.
"You okay?" she asked, only able to glance at him as she kept her eyes on the road. He shrugged and sighed again, but didn't answer. "Tell me what's going on," she continued. "I mean, unless it's the obvious. But you can tell me about that, too."
"It's the obvious," he replied, keeping his eyes pointed out the window. "All of this. I kind of wish things were different, but who the heck doesn't?" He let out another breath, finishing, "I don't wanna say I need this more than you or anyone else, but heck, does it feel that way. I should have just emigrated while I was thinking about it. Right after Cynthia and Drake did."
"I'm sure the Evil Empress will find a way to get us there," she consoled him, taking a second to pat his shoulder before going back to the wheel. "She can't satisfy us if we're dead, can she? Like, I bet if we die, she'll take our dead corpses and upload us anyway. Or turn everyone on Earth into ponies so that it doesn't matter either way."
"Or some other crazy impossible scientific magic?" Brandon asked, turning back to Eliza with a little smile. "Yeah, I'm sure she'll find a way. She's too smart not to be able to." Then he frowned and sighed for a third time, saying, "But there's still a small chance that she doesn't. And if not, with how bad things are on Earth now, there's no way it's gonna happen as a human." He scrunched up his nose and closed his eyes, but didn't cry.
"Why didn't you just upload before then?" she asked. "Except for me being a sad loser about everyone uploading, I mean."
"You're not a loser," Brandon assured her. "And, like, I kind of cared about what people would think, as dumb as it is. But it's at a point now where I just wanna do it. That's why I was thinking about it when those two jumped in there. I'm sure you get what I mean." A little pause came, and he added, "And no, I'm not thin skinned enough that you snapping at me one time is enough to change my mind."
"Good. Because I'd feel bad if you were, but only for you," she said. He didn't joke back, but he did put on another little smile.
"I'd feel bad for myself if I was. Or actually, if I was, Celestia would've already uploaded me anyway. But yeah. It's like, who the heck is gonna care anyway? Other than me, and straight women and gay men, I guess."
"Imagine if they did though," Eliza lightly joked. "How ironic would that be? They all just shunned you right away for committing the biggest sin of all?"
"A pony, sure, but a mare? Oh no!" They both laughed loudly, and then sighed again, a quiet moment starting to build. Neither said anything after that, Brandon having a look on his face as though he was thinking about something. Eliza didn't ask about it though, waiting to see if he wanted to say something.
Not for a long while did either speak, probably a good hour or so, but after they stopped for gas again and he insisted on switching seats with her, Brandon told Eliza what was on his mind.
"I know that this is gonna be a little weird," he started, gripping the wheel tightly and looking more shy now than he did when he talked about being trans. "I know Bright Sky told me about the weird, uh, relationship you have with Composition and Jesse," he said. "About how she's going on dates with both of you? And like, you obviously like her. I can see that much. But I was wondering… would you wanna potentially go on a date with me?" His cheeks were flushed red and he stared fully ahead at the road, not daring to look at her out of embarrassment. Eliza couldn't say it was the most surprising question in the world.
"Are you saying this isn't a date already?" she joked. "I consider long car drives to the Experience Center to be one of the most romantic things possible." Then she said, "For real though, I don't see why we can't. As long as you're cool with the fact that I'm probably gonna want to go on more dates with Composition. I mean, we both already like each other, I know that much. Her and I, I mean."
"Yeah, that's cool," he said quickly, still embarrassed. "I know it's probably not gonna turn into anything serious, but I gotta shoot my shot, right?"
"Consider me shot then," she smiled. "Sounds like it could be fun. You're lucky I only like women. Also, asking me out? That's gay." They both laughed again at her joke, and she grinned when she saw how relaxed he was now.
Was it bad to think about this as insurance for if Composition rejected her completely for Solar Spark? She didn't know, but it wasn't like Brandon was just someone else. The two were good friends, although they both knew it wasn't as close between them as it was between she and Composition. If she was in a position to choose, there'd be no hesitation on her part.
"I'm gonna get on my PonyPad now though," she finished. "You said I needed to talk to Composition? How bad is she?"
"She looked like she was just starting to cry when I left," he said. "Jesse's not feeling great either. I wouldn't be surprised if Bright Sky and Spell Master were feeling it, too."
"I'm glad we have that kind of power over our friend group," Eliza said as she turned on her PonyPad. "I can use this to my advantage when I– Jesse? What are you doing standing in front of my house?"
She opened up the game to see him outside, sitting on the steps near the front door, presumably waiting for her. He had red eyes like he'd been crying, and an angry look on his face, too. What the heck was going on?"
"I assume you haven't emigrated yet, have you, Agile?" he asked, but then shook his head. "No, if you did, Soft Step would be here right now. What are you two doing?"
"We're driving to Washington right now, but why are you–"
"I wanted to say I'm sorry," he told her as he stood up, getting straight to the point. "I know part of the reason you two aren't here yet is because of me, when I–"
"No, it's not," she stopped him before he could get much out. "It's not, and it's not Composition's fault either. The fact that Brandon and I haven't uploaded yet is on the two of us and no one else. Don't start thinking that it's because of you when it's not."
"But–"
"No. I'm telling you it's not. End of story."
He looked like he wanted to argue, and maybe a little irritated by her abrasiveness, but thankfully didn't put up a fight about it. A few seconds later, he let out another breath and nodded.
"Okay. I'll… let you have that. Still sorry though. I can't help but feel bad about it. I know Composition does, too, and that makes it worse."
"Well if I have to talk to her, too, so that you both know we're not lame brained enough to leave important decisions to whoever talks to us last, I will," she said. "I don't care if it seems like I'm being mean. I can't have you two feeling bad because of a decision we did or didn't make when it's not your fault." She wasn't going to admit that part of the importance of making sure they didn't feel bad was because of the insecurity Celestia talked to her about before. She was able to recognize it now after the princess brought it up a couple of months ago.
"I can take you to her, if you want," he offered, still downcast. "I mean, she's just in her house, but if you have a chance, I kind of think we need to– wait, you're with Soft Step right now, you said. Well, whenever you get the chance– I guess when you emigrate– I wanna talk to you about stuff."
"If you want, but I don't know what there's gonna be to talk about. If it's what I think it is, I'd rather ignore it, honestly. It's not like we can change anything, and Celestia's just gonna make whatever happens happen."
"I know. I don't mean about that. More just, like, catching up in general, one on one, if that's okay. Casually. I don't think we've ever hung out one on one, you know? And with how you always talk about how inevitable everything is and how I'm in here now, it'd probably be good to spend some time together."
Eliza and her pony both raised an eyebrow, and even Brandon who was only half listening glanced at her. "Celestia didn't put you up to this, did she?" she asked skeptically. "Because coming from you, it sounds kind of weird."
"She told me I should spend time with you when I talked to her yesterday about what's going on with you and Soft Step. She didn't really say why I should, though. Only that you'd probably like it if we did when you had the chance."
She wanted to scream in frustration at the princess the first can she got, and almost let out one now here in the car. Somehow though, she was able to contain both that and any look of frustration she might have felt about Celestia mucking around and trying to manipulate things. Was this how she was going to ensure ponies were able to talk to her after she uploaded? Because this was fucking embarrassing. If Eliza found out the AI had told her other friends, she was going to scream.
She communicated none of what she thought, and kept anything she might have felt off her face. Instead, she simply replied, "That sounds good. Whenever you want to is fine with me. Can't right now though, obviously. We have to focus on driving."
"I know. But when you get here, we can try and plan–"
"Eliza, put your PonyPad away," Brandon said quickly, pulling her back into reality. "Cops are flashing behind us. I'm pretty sure Ohio's one of the states that doesn't allow PonyPads."
Great. More things for the two of them to have to worry about.
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