Chapter 1: a mistake

My name is sei. I don't feel any emotions, all i feel is emptiness. I feel my soul missing, I have no reason to live. "Am i a mistake" i would always ask my mother, she never gave me a reply. My dad went missing when i was 4, we never found him. Ever since then my mum has ignored me, not that i was sad when he went missing. In fact i didn't feel anything toward's him. He wasn't anything to me, no one was. My mother took me to a doctor when i was younger, I think it has something to do with my emotions. The docter told my mum it would fade away eventually. It didn't. I was home schooled due to this, my mother said "this is what's best for you right now" in a depressing voice, i think another reason My mum didn't won't to take me to school was beacuse she got hit on a lot beacuse she look's like a model, long blonde wavy hair, freckels, dark green eye's, tall and beautiful. That's how my dad described her, before he went missing. My mum wouldn't even look at me after he wen't missing, was it because i didn't care for her. I didn't know how to care for her. When she did look at me she would just glare, it felt like she was looking into my soul. But only for a second. I didn't care if my mum was happy or not, my mum knew that. Most day's i would spend reading, i didn't understand when they would explain there emotions, when they said they where happy or sad, i didn't know what angry or jealous felt like. This made me feel more empty, more like a mistake. One day when my mum had gone to work, i found a book on the coffee table. as i went to grab it i gazed at the title, it said "emotionless." I picked it up, it was heavy. i stared to read, the more i read it the more i it sounded like me. My heart stoped a beat, i started to shake.