Chapter 14: Chapter 14: It's Alright, Xue'er, There's a First Time for Everything
"Then who does he need?"
Ling Yuan asked curiously.
Instead of answering, She Long looked seriously at Qian Renxue, his gaze clearly indicating something.
Lin Luo, seeing this, was suddenly so moved that his eyes nearly welled up with tears.
Yes! It's Qian Renxue!
She Long, you old genius! You actually understand me!
You know that what I really want to eat is—
"What the little young master needs is... a male nanny!" [TL: I Can't, not anymore]
She Long declared proudly, sounding absolutely confident in his guess.
Wait, what?
The expression on Lin Luo's face froze, and he slowly drew a mental question mark.
The next moment, everyone looked at She Long in confusion as he abruptly left the hall, heading outside.
Ling Yuan blinked in disbelief. "He... he's going to find a male nanny?"
Si Tun let out a snicker, "Has he lost it from all the failed interviews? What male nanny? What man has milk?"
Lin Luo couldn't care less about these silly mortals and their ridiculous ideas. He continued reaching out his chubby little hands toward Qian Renxue's chest.
Looks like I'll have to take matters into my own hands.
Damn it, why is your clothing so tight?
Can't you just take it off already?
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that the food would be so close, yet so out of reach.
Qian Renxue, sensing movement around her chest, gently tucked the little hand pressing against her back into the swaddle again.
"Behave, you little rascal. What are you trying to do?"
Lin Luo: "Yiyah! Yiyah!"
He pointed at Qian Renxue's chest with his tiny finger, then pointed toward his own mouth, and finally started sucking on his hand, making little "gudugu" sounds.
Unfortunately, being just born, his control over this body was lacking.
What Lin Luo thought was a clear message came across to Qian Renxue as nothing more than the usual baby antics.
"No! Cute tricks won't work!"
Qian Renxue pouted seriously, though her eyes were full of affection.
What? Me, using cute tricks?
I, a mighty God King, do not need to rely on cuteness!
I'm telling you I'm hungry, you dense woman!
Though my actions may be a bit abstract… could your brainwaves not keep up?
Lin Luo was beyond speechless. He wanted to roll his eyes but couldn't manage it with this infant body.
Qian Renxue was clearly overwhelmed by the cuteness of Lin Luo's antics. Her heart melted at the sight of this little rascal.
She leaned her face into the swaddle, playfully pressing her forehead against Lin Luo's tiny chest.
"I'll squish you! Squish you! You little troublemaker, pretending to be cute, huh?"
Qian Renxue spoke childishly.
Lin Luo, on the other hand, remained expressionless, thinking: This woman probably thinks she's cute too... though, I'll admit, she is, just a little.
Ahem, I understand you're cute, but could you not wear such tight clothes next time? It's hard to take them off.
After playing with him for a while, Qian Renxue gently kissed Lin Luo on the cheek.
"Muah!"
Lin Luo froze, his eyes widening in shock.
What… What did you just do?!
As a dignified God King, his face actually felt a little warm.
Qian Renxue continued making cute faces at the baby in the swaddle, completely oblivious to the fact that her little kiss had thrown Lin Luo's thoughts into disarray.
This woman! She did it without even asking for my permission...
And she…
Forget it, no time to dwell on this.
I feel so exhausted.
Being a helpless infant at the mercy of others… it's just not a good feeling.
Seeing the baby quiet down, Qian Renxue felt triumphant, thinking her methods of soothing the baby had worked.
She smiled, but the next moment, she was utterly dumbfounded.
At that moment, She Long made his return, looking like a warrior heading off to battle!
He stepped through the door, his expression serious, like an old general preparing for war.
Guang Ling, Si Tun, and Ling Yuan all stared in shock at the man before them.
Si Tun asked, "She Long… what in the world are you doing?"
She Long proudly puffed out his chest, showing off two bottles strapped across it, and announced with utter seriousness:
"I'm here to feed the baby!"
Where did he even find two milk bottles? And not only that, he had tied them to his chest with a strap, as if imitating... well, something no one could quite figure out.
[TL: I literally passed out while reading this chapter for the first time and then when i was translating i was dead laughing for straight 2 fucking hours. my mom thought i had gone mad]
Everyone in the room was completely floored by this sight.
Qian Renxue couldn't help but ask, "Uncle She Long, is this… your male nanny outfit?" [TL: I'm Dead again]
She Long: "That's right! Since the little young master dislikes nannies, we'll use the male nanny tactic! Clever, right?"
Lin Luo was absolutely dumbstruck.
Could it be that he's actually... a genius?
She Long began approaching, the bottles on his chest wobbling back and forth, and Qian Renxue instinctively hugged her child tightly, her face filled with apprehension.
A baby fed like this might end up... mentally impaired, right? [Tl: pfft]
Please, no. Not my baby.
Lin Luo also shrank back into Qian Renxue's arms.
Don't come any closer!!! (Voice breaking) [TL: might have to delay the next chapter because of all the laughing]
As the God King, he had never felt a sense of impending doom like this before.
If he were forced to drink from those bottles strapped to She Long, he might as well never show his face on the Douluo Continent again.
"Come on, little young master, it's still warm!"
"Bam!"
Just as the smiling She Long was about to get closer, his face was abruptly met with a heavy punch from someone nearby.
Ling Yuan, retracting her fist, looked at the now-collapsed She Long in disdain.
"What kind of idiot comes up with such nonsense? You should just drop dead."
She Long, lying on the ground with blood trickling from his nose, crushed the two bottles under his body, looking utterly defeated.
"Then what do we do? We can't just let the little young master starve, can we?" he muttered in despair.
Qian Renxue, too, looked worriedly at the baby in the swaddle. At that moment, Lin Luo's mouth started to quiver, his teary eyes looking pitifully at her.
Seeing this, Qian Renxue's nose stung with emotion. She couldn't bear to see her baby cry.
"It's okay, it's okay. Don't cry, baby. If it comes to it, I'll feed you myself~"
Qian Renxue gently patted the swaddle, soothing the child.
Upon hearing this, Lin Luo immediately reached out his tiny hand again, this time grabbing at Qian Renxue's clothing.
Everyone in the room was now witnessing the scene, and connecting the dots from earlier, Guang Ling finally realized:
"So, he's been trying to feed from you this whole time?"
"Me?"
Qian Renxue looked up, her face instantly turning awkward. "Do I even have…?"
Ling Yuan responded, "Of course you do. Those nannies we interviewed earlier were all recent mothers."
Qian Renxue listened, somewhat puzzled.
She blinked her beautiful eyes, envisioning herself in her mind feeding the baby, her expression full of love as the little rascal suckled, bathed in a halo of light…
In an instant, a flush of crimson shot from her neck all the way to her face.
"Ah, I don't think I can…"
She stammered, her face red with embarrassment as she glanced at the others.
Guang Ling frowned. "It's true that by custom, it shouldn't be you, but we don't have a choice. We can't let my great-grandson starve."
"Take him to your room. It's alright, Xue'er, there's a first time for everything."
Qian Renxue took a deep breath, her expression complicated as she glanced at the baby. Then, her eyes narrowed, and she shot him a playful look.
"Look at what you've done."
She mouthed the words silently, not expecting the little rascal to understand.
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