Chapter 63: Chapter 60: Feeding a Puppy
We went back to the academy after adding Alfrea to our party. Verner and the others had classes to attend, so I'd always intended to take them home when the sun started to set.
I wasn't sure letting Alfrea stay at the academy was a good idea—in fact, I was pretty damn sure it was a terrible idea—so I escorted her to the saint's castle after I'd dropped off the students. I didn't want everyone there to be disillusioned—they might even decide to change the school's name altogether if Alfrea showed her face there.
I told Aiz and Fox about Alfrea, and while they were left astounded, they couldn't turn away the first saint. They welcomed her with open (?) arms.
"Whoa! So the saint gets to live in a cool castle now? I'm so jealous! Back in my day, we camped out in the open almost every night. People would often confuse me for a second witch and chase me around. Life was hell until I finally beat my mother, you know?"
Alfrea seemed to have had a difficult life. I was starting to wonder whether her ridiculous personality was a defense mechanism she'd developed to shield herself from her harsh living conditions. Not even Eterna had such an intense life.
"Oh, that reminds me! I haven't had a bite to eat in a thousand years! Do you have any food? Like white bread...or cheese...or meat... Oh, and some wine to go with that would be lovely," Alfrea said, glancing at me repeatedly.
She'd probably asked me for the most extravagant meal she could think of. I remembered learning in a class that tableware hadn't existed a thousand years ago, so people back then had usually eaten everything with their hands. On the plus side, they'd had plenty of food since there hadn't been many monsters around to destroy crops.
I also remembered that there were already several types of bread back then, although they were all flatbreads. Alfrea was most likely accustomed to eating something similar to naan. White bread—which was made from wheat—was incredibly expensive, so it had only been served to royals and nobles. While that type was still pretty much reserved for the rich, other things had changed. Leavened bread was the norm now, so the texture of whatever Alfrea had would most likely be better than what she was used to.
See? Paying attention in class is useful sometimes.
Needless to say, it still couldn't compare to modern-day Japan's bread.
"Head Chef," I said, "I hope you won't mind me borrowing the kitchen for a while."
"O-Of course not, Lady Ellize!"
I was starting to feel really bad for Alfrea, so I decided to make her the best meal I could.
First, I'd bake her some bread. I wasn't going to make her the regular stuff, though—I planned to grind soybeans and use them to bake soy bread.
Soybeans were the meat of the field. Well, to be perfectly accurate, I'd be using soyaa beans, the isekai version of soybeans. The ones in this world were virtually identical to the soybeans I knew on Earth, so I usually didn't bother making a distinction. Anyway, soy was great because it could easily be grown even on barren land. It was pretty popular in Giappon, but not so much in Giardino. The people here didn't eat soybeans—they used it as animal feed. In their minds, it wasn't fit for human consumption.
This kind of behavior wasn't unheard of on Earth either. People often stuck to their fixed ideas and refused to try new things for a plethora of reasons, including cultural and religious beliefs. I remembered hearing somewhere that most Europeans had refused to eat potatoes for decades—if not centuries—because they didn't appear in the Bible.
I personally thought that missing out on soybeans when they existed was foolish, so I grew my own supply in the castle's backyard. I'd had nobles eat soy bread several times in an attempt to get them to see its potential and spread the word.
I was calling the stuff I made bread, but in truth, it was essentially cake. Baking the modern soft-and-fluffy bread was pretty time-consuming, but cake was fairly easy and fast.
The first step was to preheat the oven. Unlike modern ovens, the stone ovens that existed in this world weren't very precise. Thankfully, magic was a thing here, and it allowed me to make minute adjustments until the temperature was just right. To be honest, I didn't even need an oven—I could technically bake a cake with magic alone.
The second step was separating the egg yolks from the whites. I then mixed the yolks with soy flour and water. I wanted my bread/cake to be somewhat sweet, so I also added some maple syrup. I made sure not to add too much though—I didn't want the sweetness to be overwhelming.
Speaking of the maple syrup, I'd harvested it myself. I'd looked for a tree that produced sweet sap and used plant magic—a specific type of earth magic—to extract it.
After that, I whipped the egg whites into meringue and incorporated it with the soy flour mixture. Then, I slowly blended it all together.
Finally, I poured the dough into molds I'd crafted myself and put them in the oven. Now I just needed to wait.
Alfrea had said she wanted to eat meat, so I decided to cook that in the meantime.
In this world, people were incredibly sloppy when they cooked meat. Getting your hands on meat was such a privilege that people focused on either eating or preserving it. They didn't have the luxury to worry about the taste. In most cases, it was either dried or pickled in salt. It wasn't disgusting by any means, but it was far from great.
Another thing was that cows were only seen as a means to an end. They were around to produce cheese or butter. People didn't really see the value of eating them as far as taste went. Why, you ask? Because they were absolutely terrible at butchering cattle.
While they at least knew about draining the blood before cooking meat, they tended to cut random morsels out of cows that weren't even raised to be eaten. It was no wonder that the taste was typically subpar, and that the idea that beef was hard, smelly, and generally gross had spread among the population.
Still, meat was precious, so people did eat the cattle that passed away. They usually boiled it along with medicinal herbs that had a strong fragrance to mask the smell, which definitely wasn't the best way to go about it.
All in all, the people here were terrible at cooking.
Since I was the one in the kitchen, I wanted to make sure Alfrea truly enjoyed the meat. While I couldn't be sure she'd share my tastes, I could at least try.
The most important thing was to cut the meat properly. You couldn't simply hack at it aimlessly. You had to separate each cut of beef and remove tendons and excess fat while making sure not to destroy the fiber.
After I made sure my cuts were optimal, I took out a frying pan—which I'd also made myself—and added some olive oil. I put it on the fire and waited until smoke started coming up, then added the meat.
I sprinkled salt on one side of the steak—I wished I could've used pepper too, but it was way too expensive in this world—cooked both sides, and turned off the fire. I didn't remove the meat immediately, though. I let the residual heat cook the inside for thirty seconds. After the time was up, I turned on the fire once more and cooked the steak on low heat. Then, I let it rest in the residual heat for another thirty seconds. I repeated this process a few times before putting some butter in the pan to add some flavor.
Now that it was perfectly cooked, I cut it into smaller pieces, making sure my knife was perpendicular to the meat fiber.
I wasn't sure why I had to do it this way, but I'd seen on TV that it was the best way to cook a steak at home.
I also stir-fried some potatoes and carrots and added them to the plate as garnish.
Alfrea had also asked for booze. The wine we kept at the castle for guests would probably do just fine. To be honest, I wasn't all that fond of alcohol, so I didn't know much about what was good or not.
My bread/cake was done, so I popped it out of the oven. A touch of whipped cream on top would've enhanced the flavor even further, but I decided against it. This was meant to be a side dish, not dessert.
I probably should've made normal bread instead, but as I'd said earlier, I couldn't be bothered. Bread was a pain to make. Gathering the ingredients was already difficult, and I didn't even have a bread maker. Kneading dough by hand took forever. Baking a low-sugar cake was a much simpler alternative.
As some queen lady once said: "If baking bread is a pain, let them bake cake!"
Yeah, no, I have a feeling that wasn't the exact quote.
Leaving French royalty aside, I absolutely abhorred hard work. So I'd decided that the soy cake thing I made was bread, and I'd told the influential people I'd baked for as much. Because of me, the boundary between cake and bread was pretty blurry here, but that wasn't my problem!
Anyway, Alfrea's meal was all ready, so I called a knight in and had them bring the plates to her.
"WHOA! What's all this?! This smells incredible! It looks sooooo good! Can I really eat all of it?! I can, right? Actually, I don't care anymore! I'm eating this, even if you say no!"
Alfrea was basically drooling all over the food as she gawked at the meal I'd made her. I didn't want her to reach for the steak with her bare hands, so I figured I'd teach her how to use a fork first. I'd already cut her meat for her, so she wouldn't even need a knife—she'd simply need to stab the morsels and carry them to her mouth. Simple enough, right?
Alfrea didn't stop staring at the food the entire time I explained the concept of cutlery to her. She kept saying she'd gotten it, but I didn't know if I believed that. She looked like a puppy being told to wait in front of a bone. Having her wait a little longer sounded like fun, but she'd actually started literally drooling, so I left it at that.
The knights who were standing guard next to us looked like a part of their souls had been crushed.
Yeah, I'd better let her eat before her dignity as the first saint suffers even more.
As soon as the words, "You can dig in" left my mouth, Alfrea reached for the bread and stuffed it whole into her mouth.
"This is crazy soft! And sweet! How is it not hard? Aaaah, it's so good! It's amazing!"
The—fairly large—piece of bread/cake had disappeared in a matter of seconds. Alfrea then reached out for the meat with her hand, so I slapped it away.
Don't try to grab it with your hands, idiot! They'll get all sticky!
Alfrea nervously picked up the fork. Her motions were awkward, but she managed to stick it into a morsel of meat.
I feel like I'm disciplining a puppy. Not that puppies use forks, but you get the idea.
"It'sh sho good! Sho shoft!" Alfrea exclaimed with her mouth full. "The meat juice fills my mouth when I chew it! It's even kind of sweet! How is that possible?!"
Alfrea seemed pleased with the steak too. She wolfed down morsel after morsel. Several knights were watching her eat, but she didn't seem to care about that.
Why did she even bother putting on airs if she was gonna drop all pretenses so fast? Whatever, it's kind of refreshing to see her like this.
The knights didn't seem to share my point of view. They all looked like the world was coming to an end. As for Alfrea herself, she continued to munch on her steak without a care in the world. She looked like a little hamster with her cheeks so full.
It's good to see her eating her fill, but...she really doesn't have a hint of refinement left.
Now that I'd gotten to see what the first saint was truly like, I had the feeling that I'd kind of messed up when I'd built my role as the saint. The first saint was supposed to be the epitome of saintliness, the saint of all saints, right? If that were the case, I probably should've done whatever I'd liked. I hadn't needed to bother with refinement and grace at all...
No, me, don't let Alfrea lead you down the wrong path! She can only act like that because she is the real deal. A fake doesn't get to be so carefree! I needed to refocus myself. I couldn't lose sight of my goals. Keep up the perfect act, me!
Having swallowed the last bit of steak, Alfrea stood up and screamed, "WHO COOKED THIS?!"
She had meat juices all over her lips. I couldn't exactly leave her like that, so I took out my handkerchief and wiped it off for her. Gross. Taking care of a puppy is exhausting.
"I did," I answered.
"BE MY WIFE!"
What in the world is wrong with her?
First of all, I was a man inside. If I were to marry anyone, I certainly wouldn't be their wife—I'd be their husband.
I didn't think Alfrea meant what she'd said, though, so I simply laughed it off. There was one ancestral skill every adult needed to master: when faced with a question you don't want to answer, always smile and let it slide.
After Alfrea'd cleared her plates, I took her to her bed. She fell asleep in no time.
"I can still eat..." she mumbled, spreading her arms and legs as she twisted into the most unflattering of sleeping postures. "Bring me more..."
Of course she talks in her sleep.
I covered her and stepped out of the room.
"I'm going back to the academy, Rex," I said. "Please take care of her and protect her."
"Certainly," Rex said immediately before timidly calling out my name. "Um, Lady Ellize... I know it's not my place to ask, but... Is she truly...?"
"She's Lady Alfrea, the first saint, yes."
The knight who'd carried the plates for me and had looked like he was on the verge of passing out from the shock the whole evening was Rex, aka Random-traitorous-knight-1.
He looked at Alfrea, sprawled on the bed behind me. She was snoring and scratching her butt from time to time. She looked like some grandpa napping.
Rex then looked at me again. He seemed to be begging me with his eyes.
Give it up, dude.
"She truly is Lady Alfrea," I stated.
He paused for a few moments before saying, "Lady Ellize, I'm truly proud of being your knight."
Are they all going to react exactly like Layla?!
This was putting me in a bit of an awkward situation. I initially wanted to ask a few of my guards to serve Alfrea instead, but I didn't have the heart to after hearing that...
Still, Alfrea was a saint, I couldn't leave her without a guard. That was absolutely out of the question. Besides, I didn't even need knights—I could just give Alfrea all of them except Layla. I was adamant about keeping Layla, though. The well-being of my eyes was important, and I needed her there to ensure it.
"I can't begin to tell you how happy that makes me," I told Rex. "However...I'm planning on transferring a few of my knights to Lady Alfrea in the near future. She does not have a guard, and we cannot leave her unprotected. This is a mission of the utmost importance, and I'm afraid I can only leave it to the people I trust the most in this world—the knights of my guard."
Or in other words: some of you are going to have to deal with Alfrea from now on. Sorry, and good luck!
Rex went still along with the few other knights that were hanging within earshot.
Come on, stop looking like this is the worst thing that could happen to you! Unlike me, Alfrea is a proper saint! She's not a piece of shit! You should be happy to serve her instead of me!
I knew that serving Alfrea was a better prospect than serving me, so I intended to give the job to my best knights. Being at a real saint's side would make them much happier in the long run.
Rex, for one, is a very skilled and promising knight, so he's going to Alfrea.
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