Chapter 53: Chapter 50: The Fake Witch
I was hidden on the rooftop with Layla when the culprit recklessly barged in with Eterna and the other students in tow. Just as the turtle had said, it was a female student. A weird cloud of darkness was stuck to her back, though, and writhing, black tentacles were coming out of it. They'd restrained Eterna, as well as five other unconscious students.
Image here:
Tentacle play with Eterna, huh? I like that! Dammit, I'm too early. I should have been five—no, ten minutes late!
Anyway, the most important person here, the culprit, was... Yeah, she's pretty plain.
To be honest, I'd always thought that the girls in dating sims would all be as cute—if not cuter—than idols. Well, I'd been completely mistaken. If anything, there were more pretty girls in modern-day Japan!
I probably should've seen that coming.
The continuous food shortage meant that people grew up without eating balanced meals. Besides, research about which vitamins were good for the skin or for the hair didn't even exist here. There weren't any supplements or cosmetics. Oh, there's a pervert called Supple Ment, though.
In my previous world, you could find a decent skincare routine on the internet in all of five minutes. How could the people of Fiori compete with that?
That said, the lucky few of Fiori were so beautiful that they didn't even need skin care. Take Layla and Eterna, for instance—their faces were naturally perfect. I...well, Ellize really, also fell under that category.
The only difference was that I used my modern knowledge and my magic to cheat my way into having perfect skin and hair, making my shell even more flawless. I was a piece of shit on the inside, but I never made any compromises when it came to my appearance! It was nothing short of perfection—I was a multilayered, gold-plated pile of rusty scrap metal. Then I was covered in gold leaf for good measure. The defects wouldn't show even if one or two coats were scraped off.
Role-playing as the saint was pretty fun, and I took it very seriously.
Anyway, getting back to random dudette over there. That thing on her back bothered me the most. At first glance, it seemed like she was just using some sort of dark magic spell, but I had a feeling it was something else entirely.
It's so dark that I can't really see, but there's something stuck to her back, isn't there? It's not just a shadow. I guess I'll find out if I rip it off her back.
I was about to do that when random dudette suddenly fired a blast of dark magic at the sports ground.
Whoa. What're you doing?
I immediately intercepted it with light magic and flicked it right back at her—like a boomerang.
"Who did that?!"
Random dudette was furiously looking around but, sadly for her, I was currently hidden. She couldn't see me.
Though I guess she knows someone else's on the roof now. Whatever. Capturing her is more important than observing her.
I figured there was no point in hiding anymore, so I disabled my camouflage and took a step forward.
"The saint... Ellize! Impossible! Why are you here?!"
Random dudette took a step back. The shadow on her back started moving restlessly, and the tentacles wiggled.
Oh! Am I finally gonna witness some nice tentacle porn?! Nooo, please don't! No one will benefit from that! Nah, for real, calm down, dudette.
"Let me return the question. What are you doing here?"
Answering her question with another question felt like the most appropriate option for the time being. I couldn't really tell her the truth—which was that I'd come here because a turtle had dropped a major spoiler.
The turtle's clairvoyance was too good of an asset for me to reveal. I didn't want the witch targeting Profeta.
"That much is obvious..." random dudette said. "The world has forgotten how terrifying the witch is. I'm here to remind you all that you should fear me!"
What in the world is she saying? We've forgotten how terrifying the witch is? Why's that any of your business? Are you a die-hard fan of hers? Hang on. She said that we should fear her, didn't she?"You're making it sound like you're the witch," I answered.
"Because I am. I'm the witch, Elizabeth! You came to this academy to look for me, did you not?"
?
???
Huh?! The witch's name is Alexia. If you're trying to pretend to be the witch, at least introduce yourself as her. Are you dumb or what?!
I really wanted to let out a big sigh and make fun of her, but I had to keep it together.
Breathe, me. You're the saint. Act like it.
Layla sighed. "After role-playing as the saint, you're pretending to be the witch now? I already knew you were a disrespectful brat, but you've outdone yourself."
She looked positively pissed off. She'd already reached for her sword.
Scotterbrain! Stay! Be good!
I had no idea what was going on with this chick, so I hoped to hear a bit more before Layla beat her up.
Actually, if you know who Miss Random Dudette is, why don't you just tell me, Scotterbrain?!
"Do you know who she is, Layla?"
"She's just a fool. She's definitely not worth your time, Lady Ellize. I'll get rid of her for you."
"I'd really like it if you could tell who she is, Layla," I said again.
Layla hesitated before finally answering me. "She's Elizabeth Ibris—a second-year student and the second daughter of Count Ibris. She's to be expelled at the end of the month."
I could feel the disdain dripping in Layla's voice. She must really hate her. How had a student managed to piss Layla off so much? Jeez, Random Dudette, did you steal her panties or something? If so, could you give them to me? I'll treasure them, I promise.
I couldn't take them, though, could I? My perfect image would crumble in an instant if word got out that I kept my subordinate's panties.
"What did you mean when you said she role-played as the saint?"
"It's truly not worth your time, Lady E—"
"Layla."
"This foolish girl tells anyone who will listen that she's the real saint. She's infamous for copying everything you do, Lady Ellize. The flower she wears is a crude imitation. If that was all, it would still be fine, but she also pretends that every achievement of yours is, in fact, hers. She claims that you're taking credit for things she has done. If she wasn't the daughter of a count, I would have already run her through with a sword myself. She's an unsightly, disrespectful girl."
All riiiight. I finally understood. That girl had been imitating me, huh? Did that really matter, though? Copying the behavior of someone you admired was completely normal. Tons of people copied the hairstyle or signature pose of famous athletes. If anything, hearing that someone admired me enough to copy me made me feel pretty good. Besides, I used to do that stuff too when I was younger. I would imagine myself in the place of my favorite baseball players and pretend the applause and cheers were all for me.
Anyway, now that Layla'd mentioned it... Yeah, her white flower does look a lot like mine. Hers is starting to wither, though.
By the way, the flower I always wore was real. I'd done...stuff...with my magic to make sure it wouldn't wither, so it was probably the only eternal flower in this world. It was my way of wishing for a different ending. I was in the world of Kuon no Sanka—the Eternal Scattering Flowers—after all.
Oh yeah, my flower wasn't purely decorative either—it also acted as a mana tank. I was wearing an angelo—a particular type of flower that naturally stored mana in its petals. One petal could amass around a hundred MP. One angelo had seven petals, which meant I had around seven hundred MP just lying around in my hair. I didn't think I'd ever need that mana, but you know what they say—better safe than sorry, right?
Random fact—we had the similarly named angelonia flowers on Earth, but the flowers here didn't look like them at all. Angelos had white petals that spread out as if to form a heptagon. They were incredibly popular for their mystical appearance, but sadly, they withered very fast after blooming.
Why mystical, you ask? Because in this world, heptagons were believed to be charms against evil spirits. The number seven itself was also supposed to be auspicious because of the number of magic attributes. There were technically eight of them: fire, water, earth, wind, thunder, ice, light, and darkness, but if you removed the inauspicious one—darkness, that is—you'd end up with seven.
Anyway, like I was saying, the flower on random dudette's head was already beginning to wither, but, uh...it wasn't an angelo. It was a lucifero—a type of flower that looked almost identical to angelos.
It could be difficult to tell them apart at first glance, but luciferos had eight petals. Because of that, they were said to bring misfortune. Their petals didn't stock mana, and their pollen was toxic. It wasn't potent enough to kill anyone, but long exposure would lead to hallucinations. Apparently, once they were intoxicated, people wouldn't be able to tell the difference between their hallucinations and reality anymore! Pretty scary, right? From what I'd heard, lucifero pollen was even used to make drugs in some places. Unlike angelos, luciferos also bloomed for a fairly long time.
Did that girl go crazy because she wears such flowers in her hair all day long? I thought they were supposed to be harmless so long as you didn't consume the pollen, though...
"As it would seem, she's now decided to pretend to be the witch. How ridiculous," Layla snorted.
Dang, Miss Layla, you're being savage! We can let the fact that she imitated me slide, it's no big deal! She didn't even make any profit.
Pretending to be the witch was a big no-no, though, especially in front of a knight. It was like bringing an airsoft gun or a realistic fake knife to a police station full of armed cops and screaming, "I've just killed ten people, and you're next!" The cops definitely wouldn't laugh at the prank.
Random dudette cackled. "You don't believe me, do you? That's fine, I'll make you. Behold my powers!"
She extended her hand and two tentacles flew at us.
You're really into tentacle porn, aren't you? I can respect that. While I'd love to see you have a go at Layla, I absolutely refuse to have these things touch me. I'm just into watching, thank you very much!
I raised my hand, ready to blow the tentacles away, when...
"I won't let you touch a hair on Lady Ellize's head!" Layla screamed, jumping in front of me and using her sword to deflect the tentacles.
Scotterbrain, you're in my way!!!
The tentacles didn't relent. They hit the guard of Layla's sword and knocked it out of her hand. They immediately lunged at me, but I used a blade of light to protect myself. I felt my magic make contact with something solid. Sure enough, something hit the floor. The dark fog that covered the fallen piece of the wiggling appendage disappeared, and I got to have a good look at what had attacked me: a delicious-looking piece of octopus tentacle.
Oh! Okay... I get it now.
"I understand now. I know what you are," I said.
I can see right through you! Hehe, I'm so smart!
I used light magic to dispel the black fog that was still covering the girl. Just as I'd expected, a gigantic octopus, as big as a person, was coiled around her.
I knew that octopus. He was the mini-boss you had to face in front of the boss room—the archmonster that had tried to kidnap Verner three years ago. He was now controlling random dudette and making her pretend to be the witch.
The leg I'd cut had already started regenerating itself. That's amazing! It means this guy could provide me with an endless supply of takoyaki ingredients! That's super eco-friendly!
"A monster!" Layla exclaimed.
"He's an archmonster," I explained. "And I think I understand what he's trying to do. I believe his goal was to use Elizabeth to lure us out of the academy."
The witch's name was Alexia. If that monster wanted us to think that this girl was the witch, he should've made her introduce herself as Alexia, or else his plan was doomed to fail. That said...we were only able to realize that because we already knew who the witch was. Obviously, the octopus didn't know that we were aware of Alexia's identity. That was why he'd made such a terrible mistake. As far as the octopus was concerned, revealing Alexia's identity would've been a mistake, so his choice made sense. Unfortunately for him, his decision had led to his plan crumbling before it had even really started.
"I was wondering what you'd say... But you seem to have recognized the archmonster serving me. You must understand that I'm the witch now," random dudette said—or rather, the octopus forced her to say.
The octopus was still trying to sell us his story. It wasn't going to work, though. We knew Alexia was the witch, and he'd very kindly informed us that this girl wasn't Alexia. Case closed.
Still, the archmonster didn't seem to have realized that we knew. I could exclaim, You won't fool me! I know that Alexia's the witch! But that would be pointless, not to mention dangerous. I didn't know if there were any more spies left, and random dudette could very well be carrying a listening device...or the magical equivalent of it, anyway, since I doubted the technology existed here. I was pretty confident I'd notice if the witch was using the same kind of spell I did—the ones that allowed me to pick up sound from a distance—but I couldn't be a hundred percent sure that she wasn't.
That stuff always happened in manga, right? Villains would be so certain of their victory that they'd start blabbering about their plans for no reason until, ultimately, they failed. The dead can't speak, so I'll tell you about my plan before sending you to hell, they'd say before giving out super crucial pieces of information.
I wasn't about to become a monologuing villain.
I'll just make something up to avoid giving out any information.
"You probably cannot hear it...but this poor child is crying out for help."
I also can't, but whatever.
That was my usual modus operandi. I always pretended I could hear someone calling out for help. Thanks to the game, I knew tons of things I wasn't supposed to know. If I pretended it was just a lucky guess every time, people would start questioning me, so I usually defaulted to this excuse. And today was no different! I wouldn't mention Alexia at all and put all the blame on random dudette.
Yep. I didn't figure things out because I already knew who the witch was. Far from it! I'm only here to help this random chick because she called for me inside her heart, or whatever.
For some reason, tears started flowing out of random dudette's eyes. LMAO.
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