Chapter 19: Chapter 19: Optimistic

Death's realm felt different. Everything felt different. It was going to take some time to adjust to the fact I wasn't walking around in a cloud anymore. That was the shift, the best I could explain it. As I set foot on the bridge to the courtyard, the gray sky overhead its same, colorless self, the dark stone arching beneath me, I realized just how clear everything seemed suddenly.

That lilt in my gait, despite my bare feet, gave me wings like I'd never known, carried me forward, fast and light, as I imagined my sisters in Life often felt. This joy encompassed me, growing steadily by the moment and, by the time I reached the other side, I was practically skipping.

Corvus soared toward me, landing with a rustle on a slim statue of a young man in sorrowful repose. "Eve," he said, as nastily British as ever. "Your father is in no mood to speak to you right now." He sniffed, beak clicking as he rose and flew forward, struggling to keep up with my brusque stride. "In fact, you're not meant for this realm for six months, in case you've forgotten."

I grinned at him. "Corvus," I said. "Go choke yourself."

His squawk of surprise made me laugh. I left him behind to sort out his poor, hurt feelings, taking the steps to the palace at a run. My bare feet slapped on the stone as I bounded up the steps and flashed the huge skull fountain in the foyer a wave on the way by.

Never had I felt so optimistic, so full of the feeling of rightness and perfection. This had to mean I found who I was meant to be! The doors to the throne room stood open, though I honestly think if they'd been closed I would have walked right through them anyway.

Dad perched on his throne in full Grim Reaper persona, not speaking or moving as I approached. I should have felt uncomfortable, small and fragile, maybe even tried for head down and subservient daughter. But the Eve he knew didn't live here anymore, quite literally.

"Dad." I came to a halt at the bottom of the dais, the four steps to his throne all the distance there was between us. "We have to talk."

His giant shape shifted, shuddered slightly. "Eve," he said in his booming Reaper voice. "What has happened?"

I could try to explain it to him and wanted to. That was the whole reason I came here. But he continued to sit there on his throne, treating me like I was some stranger or stray soul looking for a handout instead of his supposed beloved daughter. The joy I felt morphed, the rage rising and I tapped into it, feeling myself fill with the power of anger. And I liked it.

"The least you could do," I snapped, "is come down here and ask me like a real dad instead of being a bossy creep who won't even show his daughter a little respect." Breathless from the rebellion, excitement took over again, the joy returning while Dad stared at me out of the giant skull he wore.

I could still feel his emotions, knew I'd shocked him and couldn't help but toss my dark hair and laugh. He did as he was told, imagine that? Dad detached from the shadows of his giant body and descended the steps, frowning and concerned when he held out his hands to me.

"Something's wrong." He shook his head while my anger flared again. I really needed to find a way to create balance in these new emotions I actually had access to for once. "Eve, tell me what's going on."

"A little trip to see the Fates," I said, knowing I came across wild around the edges, arrogant even. But I'd spent my entire life being kicked and stepped on and doing my best to stay out of the way. This confidence brought on by my freedom from other people's feelings roared like a freight train of power I'd ride as long as I could. "Thanks to Mom and a brush up against the Loom of Creation." Dad tried to take my hand but I stepped away, shook my head. "You wanted me to find out what my purpose was," I said. "That's what I'm doing. And now you say something's wrong?" How could this be wrong? This unlocking of who I was meant to be? "Thanks for the help and support, Dad." The thought crossed my mind, bitter with the truth of it. "And for talking to Mom about me. I always thought you had my back. I guess I was naïve to think you cared."

Why had I come here again? What a waste of time. I turned to go, knowing this was a mistake now, that Dad betrayed me. Had admitted as much in front of Mom. Old habits led me to the place I considered home. Now I knew better.

"Eve, wait. Please?" Dad was asking? I turned back toward him, hesitated. The boiling emotions within subsided, the mist stirring and sinking while I exhaled and shook my head to clear it. This was Dad. Maybe he had some kind of doubts about me, but that seemed fair considering, right? He approached, hands out again and this time I let him hold mine, my fingers shaking a bit, cold and clammy. What was happening to me?

I just wasn't used to the new way of things, that was all. I'd figure it out. Even as fear whispered to me maybe I was destined to be a freak forever.

"Listen to me," Dad said, voice soft and anxious. "No matter what the Fates said to you, no matter what your mother might say, I love you, Eve. I chose to have you with Isis. Chose you." Why did it seem so important to him that I know such a thing?

"Okay," I said. And remembered more. "I wasn't supposed to be born." The Fates said as much. All the confidence crumbled under me, the old me returning, the mist falling away while I shuddered and my shoulders sagged forward. Abomination.

"Technically," Dad said. Then sighed. "Your mother and I were never supposed to mate, Eve. Why, I don't know. But it's been in the rules for as long as Life and Death have existed."

"But you did." Thanks a lot. His fault, then. I shivered inside.

He nodded like that might help, pulling me against him, hugging me. I felt small again, a little girl needing comfort and felt his emotions embrace me, too. Part of me wanted to fight this, the new part of me. But I didn't have the strength just yet.

"We did," he said. "You are the most precious thing, Eve. Believe it." His hand stroked my hair. "We've tried so hard to integrate you, partially because we both knew you weren't supposed to happen. Finding your path would validate your birth." He laughed, dark and angry. "Or so your mother said. And I agreed with her, believed her for a long time."

I pulled away from him, feeling the mist shift and turn. "They said I was an abomination."

Dad's anger hit me hard, feeding my empathy and I did nothing to shake it loose. It capped the mist and sent it swirling away.

"The Fates," he said through clenched teeth, "hate anything they can't control. And they can mind their old witch business."

The sudden need to hurt him was so powerful I had no control over it. Where it came from I had no idea, except perhaps I spent my entire life being a good girl, his good girl and needed him to see me for who I was becoming.

"You are aware," I said, "I've been consorting with a mortal."

His pale face darkened slightly, as if I'd hit him. No longer did his emotion affect me, though his own answering anger came through loud and clear. "Eve, what were you thinking?"

I shrugged and smiled, knowing it caused him pain. I spun, skirt flaring, the crushing desire to go further, to damage him if I could goading me on. How fun. "I was thinking he was cute and maybe for once someone would be kind to me." Dad flinched from that. It made me laugh. "Are you going to try to stop me?"

Was that a helpless expression? Yes, it was. It washed over his face and into his emotions as he sagged, his turn to fail. "I won't be able to protect you."

"That's all right," I said, turning my back on him with a thrill of joy. "I don't need your protection anymore."

I think I'd come there with hope. To ask him if I could stay, leave the Garden forever. To beg, yet again, to be free of Mom. Only to realize as I strode out of the palace and toward the bridge, Undertown wasn't home, either.

That meant something bigger and better waited for me. The mist whispered a promise I couldn't wait to explore.

***

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