/ Fantasy / Error Within the System
Synopsis
[LOADING..]
[LOADING.]
[LOADING...]
...
[ERROR]
[PLAYER NOT DETECTED]
[REFRESHING.]
...
[ERROR]
[REFRESHING...]
...
[ERROR]
...
[ERROR]
...
[PLAYER “ERROR” SUCCESSFULLY CONNECTED]
[GENERATING NEW BODY.]
...
[ERROR]
[PLAYER NOT DETECTED]
[ERROR]
[BODY GENERATED]
[GENERATING ABILITIES...]
[ERROR]
...
[ABILITIES GENERATED]
[ERROR]
[SEARCHING FOR NEW WORLD..]
[PLAYER NOT DETECTED]
[ERROR]
[BODY GENERATED]
[REFRESHING..]
[REFRESHING..]
...
[ERROR]
[ERROR]
[PLAYER NOT DETECTED]
[WORLD NOT FOUND]
[ERROR]
[BODY GENERATED]
[ERROR]
[ABILITIES GENERATED]
[REFRESHING.]
[REFRESHING.]
[ERROR]
[REFRESHING.]
[REFRESHING...]
...
...
An endless noise is piercing his ears.
Over and over...
Never ending errors.
All he could do was stare blank at it with his lifeless eyes waiting and watching for a sign of hope he could cling onto.
There was none.
Not a thing.
Only himself and the ‘system’ in an endless black plane which he grew so familiar with.
Years.. Decades.. Centuries.. He lost count long ago, it didn’t matter to him anymore. He never felt like he needed to sleep, eat, or do anything. The only thing that plagued his mind was the never ending boredom this place brought him.
Its been so long for him that he forgot how he died. All he knew was that he did die and he was in the process of reincarnation but the system decided that he wasn’t good enough for it.
His thoughts were blank and he only grew more and more bored. He wanted an adventure. Something that could excite him out of his infinitely flat existence.
And he got it.
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The story has a good start. I like how it show how human the system is. The only thing I would like to happen is if one day he would just except the name Error and say "Not all errors are unwanted".
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Reveal Spoiler
hmm, I enjoyed the first 5 chapters so far, but since there isn't much to review, I'll say this. The story is starting to develop into something enjoyable (i.e. errors, powerful character, you know what I mean), and sure, you released it like 3 days ago, so I understand it's new, but you've done a great job in those few days. :clap: