Chapter 2039: Soft and Squishy
Following Seraphina's exclamation, a pink pulse rippled out from her body, instantaneously passing through the bodies of Vahn and several other Prinnies. Immediately thereafter, glowing pink hearts appeared in the eyes of every Prinny present. A few of the closer ones even began to sweat, a light blush coloring their cheeks as they eagerly exclaimed, "Alright, dood! Let's kick some butt for Lady Seraphina...!"
In response to the initial Prinny's shout, several others released a loud war cry as they pulled out large swords from inside the pouched strapped around her bellies. Then, with a fervor that could only be matched by Berserkers, they leaped into the overwhelming enemy forces without any signs of fear or hesitation. Several even allowed themselves to be picked up and thrown by their fellow Prinnies, their bodies exploding the moment they impacted the enemy forces.
Seeing this scene play out, Seraphina placed one hand on her hips while bringing the other to her mouth and laughing in a haughty manner before happily chiming, "No man can resist the power of my Balor Gaze! Now, what to do with you? Perhaps I'll turn you in to my personal carrier? I've never seen a Prinny that could actually fly. I wonder how squishy your head is~?"
As if it was the most natural thing in the world to do, Seraphina shamelessly attempted to sit atop Vahn's head. This provided him with quite the view, but, before she could use his face as a cushion, he adopted the closest thing to a deadpan expression he could manage in his current form, asking, "What do you think you're doing...?"
Without missing a beat, Seraphina replied, "What does it look like? I'm sitting on my newly acquired Prinny?" before startling in response to the unexpected inquiry. Unfortunately, her realization came a little too late as Vahn had already casually side-stepped her attempt to take a seat. As a result, she ended up falling on her butt a second time, tears appearing in the corners of her amethyst eyes as she exclaimed, "Why did you evade!? You're a terrible Prinny...!"
Since he didn't have brows to raise, Vahn tilted his head and body slightly to the side as he asked, "What makes you think I would just let you sit on my face? Actually, let's shelve that till later. Why are you being surrounded by this horde of monsters...?"
Realizing he was gradually being pulled into the woman's pace due to the influence of the Law of Gags, Vahn cleared his thoughts and decided to focus on the matter at hand. The enemy was being surprisingly courteous, almost as if they were waiting until the impromptu comedy routine to come to an end. Unfortunately, this didn't change the fact that Seraphina and her hundred or so Prinnies were currently surrounded by more than a thousand enemies of various shapes and sizes, several of which, predominately humanoid in appearance, gave off fairly powerful auras.
In response to Vahn's question, Seraphina crossed her arms in a defiant manner, head turned to the side as she harumphed in a haughty tone. She was apparently ignoring him now, and, perhaps as a result of his refusal to follow the 'script', the enemy began a full-frontal assault that resulted in the night-instantaneous collapse of the Prinny's frontline.
With the majority of its kin obliterated, one of the few surviving Prinnies hobbled back as fast as its peg-legs could carry it, exclaiming, "Lady Seraphina! At this rate, they're gonna annihilate us, dood!"
Reacting to the Prinny's words, the feather-like mantle surrounding Seraphina's arms and shoulders began to rustle like an angry raven as she bounced to her feet and shouted, "Wh-What did you just say!? I will not abide being annihilated...!"
Without waiting for the Prinny's response, Seraphina stepped on its head, forcing it to the ground rather mercilessly before adding, "One sardine for 20 hours of labor! That was our agreement! Now, put your soft and squishy backs into it...!"
Despite having its head squished by Seraphina's heel, the Prinny underfoot had what could best be described as a fervent expression on its face as it looked up her skirt with beady, bloodshot eyes. If you looked closely, it was even possible to make out blush marks beneath its eyes as its breathing became noticeably ragged.
Satisfied by the Prinny's response, Seraphina began grinding her heel as she looked over at Vahn and said, "See? This is how a Prinny is supposed to react. Haven't you read your handbook? You'll never find employment if you don't behave like the useless pig your meaningless little life forced you to become."
Just as Vahn was about to ask what the woman was talking about, a large explosion occurred near the center of the battlefield, stopping the advancing army in its tracks. When the smoke began to clear, an inordinately thin man with sharp features, spiky black hair, and long pointed ears could be seen sitting on the ground with a large bowl of ramen in his lap. His outfit consisted of form-fitting black trousers, a long-sleeved jacket that that seemed to be fused with his body, complete with a spiky fur collar, and an attachment that resembled demonic wings with a black exterior and blood-red interior.
Though the man's stripper-like appearance made him stand out quite a bit, it was the massive bowl of ramen in his lap that garnered the attention of everyone present. Not only was it large enough to serve as a washbasin, but, the moment the smoke cleared away, a remarkably aromatic and mouth-watering fragrance spread through the entire battlefield. This caused a number of awkward rumbles to echo through the area, their origin being the numerous drooling monsters eyeing the glistening bowl of ramen with voracious intent.
Noticing the thin yet heroic-looking demon, a not-so-subtle blush appeared on Seraphina's cheeks before she quickly regained her senses and shouted, "You there! What do you think you're doing!?"
As if he had only just noticed there were other people in his surroundings, the inordinately thin man looked over at Seraphina with a blank expression on his face before answering, "Eating, obviously..."
Ignoring the visible tick mark that had appeared on Seraphina's head, the man quickly returned his attention to the massive bowl of ramen, a faint smile appearing on his face as he explained, "It's a Fluffy Rising Dragon Bowl with all-white breast meat from a thousand-year-old Dragon Lord and a century-old egg. It's delicious."
Following the impromptu explanation, the man's chopsticks created visible afterimages as he began to scarf down his meal with remarkable fervor. This left Seraphina with a wry smile on her face, eyes half-lidded as she flatly remarked, "There's no way you gathered those kinds of ingredients to make ramen..."
By the time she had finished her utterance, the man had already emptied the entire bowl, including several gallons of broth. Then, after wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve, he jumped up to his feet and adopted a martial art's stance, wind manifesting out of nowhere to make his wing-like mantle flap heroically as he stated, "Alright, then. Now that I've finished refueling, lemme get rid of these guys..."
Without waiting for Seraphina's response, the man surprised the gawking members of the monster horde by vanishing into thin air. Immediately thereafter, an explosion rippled at the location he had been standing, the result of a shockwave generated by the man's instantaneous movement.
Though there were several orc-like creatures closer, the man ended up reappearing near a stunned dragon, his gauntleted fist glistening with demonic energy as he punched the befuddled creature in the gut. This created a gaping hole in the creature's abdomen, the letters *OHKO* briefly appearing atop its head before its body dissipated into motes of bluish-white light.
Seeing the inordinately thin man's horrifying display of speed and power, the presumed leader of the group, a shirtless man who resembled a martial artist with spiky brown hair, gauntlets, hakama-like trousers, and a red bandana shouted, "W-What are you idiots standing around for! Let's teach this jerk how foolish he is to attack the Lost Army! Nobody opposes Lord Void Dark and gets away with it...!"
As if responding to the man's words, the inordinately thin demon appeared right in front of him, fist impacting the Commander's gut before proceeding to chain together a series of punches and kicks until the latter's body burst into light. After that, he thumbed his nose with his gauntleted left hand, a look of disdain on his face as he muttered, "Don't you dare mention that man in front of me..."
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Seeing the heroic-looking demon make short work of enemies several times his size, visible hearts appeared in Seraphina's eyes as she clasped her hands together and exclaimed, "My, how heroic! It seems my Prince has finally come to rescue me from this plight. Oh, Seraphina, you wicked woman! Is there anything your beauty and wits can't tame~?"
Though she had been quite immersed in her musings up until that point, Seraphina blinked a few times in response to her own words. Then, with slightly furrowed brows, she looked back to find a seemingly normal Prinny staring back at her with an ostensibly 'stoic' expression on his face.
Noticing the pink-haired demoness' gaze, Vahn casually raised his right flipper, saying, "Yo." before following it up with, "Don't mind me. Feel free to keep gawking at your Prince. He really is quite the heroic-looking individual, isn't he?"
"You're weird."
Having said that, Seraphina made her way over to Vahn's side before scrutinizing him her hands on her hips and body bent forward in a manner that overtly emphasized her breasts. Despite this, Vahn continued to stare directly in her eyes, as, even without gawking, he could grasp the entirety of her body thanks to his spatial awareness and remarkable perception.
"Yeah, you're super weird. What kind of Prinny doesn't behave like an irredeemable pervert when they're around a beautiful demoness such as myself? Don't tell me you skipped out on orientation when you were first sent to Hell? You'll never be able to redeem yourself if you don't perform your duties properly. Prinnies are supposed to be subservient to Overlords like me, even if it costs them their lives. Now, hold still so I can sit on your head. For a Prinny, the most coveted position they can attain is becoming the personal transport of a beautiful Overlord such as myself."
As if she expected him to suddenly obey, Seraphina attempted to press down on Vahn's head so she could make herself comfortable. This time, however, she didn't turn her back on him since her butt was still sore from colliding with the ground, not once, but twice.
With the closest thing to a deadpan he could manage, Vahn swat away Seraphina's hand with the back of his flipper. This caused the busty demoness' brows to furrow into a slight pout, but, rather than give up, her amethyst eyes glistened as she crossed her arms beneath her breasts and said, "I get it. You want to negotiate your pay, right? You're surprisingly intelligent for a Prinny. Let's see...I give my other Prinnies one sardine for every twenty hours of work. I normally wouldn't pay the ones who carry me around, but you're clearly something special. How's about this. Two sardines for every thirty-nine hours of work, and, if you perform well, I'll give you a kiss on top of your head every ten years. I guarantee you won't find a better contract in all the Netherworlds."
Without so much as a single change in his expression, Vahn continued staring at Seraphina until she had concluded her haughty laughter. When she was done, a victorious expression appeared on her face as she attempted to, once again, take a seat on his head. This time, however, Vahn didn't try to dodge. Instead, he took advantage of the fact she was presenting her cheeks right in front of him to give him a sudden and surprisingly loud smack that echoed throughout the entire battlefield...
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(A/N: Alternate Titles: 'Seraphina's butt is going to be sore after this...','The appearance of a knight in scantily clad armor...!?','Vahn ten years later, "And that, children, is how I met your mother...')
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