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While it is not known what exactly was happening in Riften, Jon diverted his attention to Whiterun leaving Jullanar to deal with the mess that is the Thieves Guild.
Things have changed in Riften for the Thieves Guild and if not for the existence of both Jon Dare and Maven Black-Briar, the guild would have gone bankrupt a long time ago. Those two esteemed clients of the guild were indeed at war and the guild couldn't interfere but still could profit from managing the deep currents.
While Maven was favored by Mercer Frey and his goons, Delvin Mallory and the other veterans like Brynjolf and Vex saw Winterhold as the new land of possibilities and wanted to expand there. In their ranks, Jullanar was registered as "Sparrow", a new talent that Brynjolf discovered after a little recruiting attempt in the market. She proved to be the Guild's new lucky charm after the suffocating amount of bad luck they all experienced made them lose pretty much most of their power in Riften.
Here's how the guild operates. In every Hold, there are a number of businesses that are worth many thousands of Septims, these businesses need more than just insightful management to operate. In order for the rich to go richer, they have to play by the rules of the underworld. Bribes, smuggling, dirty competition, etc. This was all services provided by the Guild in exchange for a percentage of the profits.
With clients like Maven who powers her Black-Briar Meadery through the Goldenglow Estate, this Estate going out of business is extremely bad news for her so in order to protect it from someone like Jon Dare whose wealth is almost limitless, her deal with the Thieves Guild was to keep her main business uninvolved with Jon Dare. The Guild also keeps an eye on every unlawful business inside Riften even though they were losing control lately. Skooma dealing, Prostitution, Blackmailing, Arms dealing, Client Protection, Workers Extortion, Contraband, Gambling, Black Market and Forgery. In other words, they are the main pillar of the crime community.
Jullanar had a clear mission regarding the Thieves Guild. Only a few knew that Sparrow is Jullanar and in the meantime, she operated as a Thief and secured many vital information for Jon mostly about Maven and his other competitors. She also started the Questline of the guild by putting a merchant in the market out of business, shaking down the non-paying clients and starting fire in the Goldenglow Estate to send a message to all those who disobey the Guild.
For now, the situation came to a halt with Maven (who is a vital part of the Questline) being busy with Jon and a lot of job opportunities springing up after the late improvement Jullanar made. Also, the Chaotic situation in Riften was very important for the guild to clean.
On the other hand, Alina was busy with the College and the Temple of Kyne now that she is back in prime condition. The Temple had an insane number of Visitors and the College had a chaotic air to it with the existence of the [Eye of Magnus] hanging in the middle of the Hall of the Elements.
Alina had her hands busy with researching the Eye and looking through every record in the Arcanaeum. Sadly, a large number of books got stolen every year despite the tight security in the College and to make it all worse, the last patch of students were especially annoying trying to put their hands on everything. Alina and the Librarian Urag gro-Shub realized that the books about the Eye of Magnus were all stolen and they had to figure out which student stole it in order to track it down.
Riften and Winterhold aside, Whiterun was the home of the Companions and where both Wulfur and Aela operate. Being an essential figure of the Companions, Aela had a busier schedule so Jon had to use Wulfur in order to accomplish the Companions' Questline.
Wulfur was a regular in Jorrvaskr and had a good relationship with the Grey-Mane clan that runs Skyforge. In fact, he was one of the select few who managed to harness Skyforge aside from Eorlund Grey-Mane and with this legendary forge, Wulfur crafted Jon's newest weapon, the sinister Halberd known as [Cliffhanger].
Aside from all that, Wulfur applied for the Companions who accepted him without a text. Unlike the game, Wulfur is famous unlike the player character who is very likely to join the Companions in the early levels leaving him in a place of doubt. While it may look like a good thing, this deviation threw a rock in Jon's plans and it became unclear how to proceed in the Questline smoothly if not for the assistance of Aela. Jon had to give her a role to play which made the Companions give Wulfur the easy jobs in order to start the Questline one way or another.
With those three questlines up and running, Jon was happy to say that he can have three of the four game factions in his pocket. What was left was the Dark Brotherhood and he needed to put a special plan for this one since the Brotherhood is an actual murder cult. Any wrong move and the story may go completely haywire.
But today was not that day to worry about this and that, today was the day of having fun and by fun, it means going out with the boys and celebrating. Jon dragged both Wulfur and Mirren alongside Ongeim and Jon Battle-Born and his cousins Hafthor and Vladimir. The seven intended to drink until they got wasted but they needed someone to watch over them while they rave, for such a delicate job, Jon dragged Lydia in the portal.
***
"Just what did you expect?" (Wulfur)
"Just don't bring it up." (Jon)
"Please. I have had enough!" (Mirren)
They indeed went out to drink and cause some trouble but that was two days ago. It was imaginable that the situation may go out of hand but even imagination had its limits… this however… it was all the wrong scenarios happening together at the same time.
"Can we just find my clothes, please?" Jon complained.
"You only lost your clothes?" Mirren asked.
"What did you lose?" Jon asked.
Mirren chose to stay silent for some reason while the rest were burning through him with their gazes.
"Jon, just wear anything from your Cube. You still have it, right?" Wulfur stopped the situation before it side-tracks once again.
"I do. Don't worry." Jon made a thumbs up.
"Now. Is anyone here still missing something?" Wulfur asked the people that are still around.
Mirren and Jon kept silent, Jon Battle-Born shrugged his shoulders. Vladimir smacked Hafthor on the head before he snorts another bottle of moon sugar, Ongeim just sat there staring at nothing… Xikil was still trying to recover, Lydia was helping him fix his broken wing, Nefertiti was lazing in the shade of the fort's tower after snorting a legendary amount of catnip and Barbas was trying to break his way out of the cage Jon put him in with the captured bandits.
As mentioned before, a lot has happened.
"Shouldn't we be worrying about what the Stormcloaks and the Imperial would do now?" Mirren asked.
"I thought we managed to frame the bandits and the giants for last night's situation." Jon said.
"Do you think any sane person would believe that some bandits and some Giants were playing… Throwing Boulders together?" Mirren asked.
"I do… and at least nobody died, right?" Jon asked.
"Two armies…" Mirren spoke, running out of patience.
"What?" "I… I don't know what you're talking about."
Seeing Jon and Wulfur looking away, Mirren stomped the ground from frustration.
"Don't act like you don't remember! You two almost annihilated two armies last night. The Stormcloaks and the Imperial will surely know that two drunk lunatics were behind the failure of their assault on this fort." Mirren shouted.
"Oh! That was us…" Wulfur nodded.
The team of hangovers is now in Fort Greymoor not too far from Whiterun city. To summarize how they are now occupying this Fort; it all started last night when they were all dead drunk in the Giants' Camp between Whiterun and Greymoor (How they arrived at the Giants' Camp is a different story). No one realized that the Stormcloak Army and the Imperial Legion had started an operation to take over Fort Greymoor that night in order to secure Whiterun City. If the Fort falls to the Stormcloaks, it means that they will be able to isolate Whiterun from the west and take it. If the Fort falls the Legion, it means that Whiterun's standing will remain the same.
Originally, Fort Greymoor was occupied by Whiterun Troopers and Guards but a month ago, the skirmish between the Stormcloaks and the Legion exhausted the resources of the fort and it soon fell to bandits after some of the guards defected from service. Some Bandit Chef took it over and started extorting the travelers but both the Stormcloaks and the Legion had plans to take him down. Last night, these plans overlapped together and it happened that the nearby peaceful Giants were dragged in the mess when a mammoth was killed. Jon and the others were crashing at the Giants' place for some reason while being completely drunk and so they got to participate in the mess as well.
With the Stormcloaks on one side, the Legion on another, the Bandits in the middle and the Giants waving their clubs in anger. The seven drunk boys couldn't miss the chance seeing that the two armies have even brought siege equipment like Catapults and Mangonels. Jon and Wulfur were so excited and drunk that they decided to enter a competition with the… you guessed it… the Catapults.
Jon snuck to the battlements of Fort Greymoor and secretly joined the bandits then started breaking chunks of the Fort and threw it at the catapults across the battlefield. Wulfur and the others remained with the Giants and started picking up large boulders and throwing them at Jon.
With those superhumans playing around in a drunken ecstasy, the two armies started running around for their lives after experiencing a rain of boulders and of course, getting all their Catapults broken down.
It was strange how it ended with Jon competing with his friends at a game against actual catapults but it somehow ended in his favor and the fort half gone (lying in pieces around its original location).
But none of that was the actual problem. Jon laid on the ground and gave out a long sigh after finally finding new clothes.
"Feeling decent at last." Jon said as he fixed his clothes but soon he looked at Xikil and remembered what happened.
"What should we do about Sanguine? At this rate, the whole world shall notice what happened." Wulfur said.
"I know. This is a disaster. It has been two nights already." Mirren agreed then turned to Jon, "I can't believe you have caused a Worldwide disaster just to get drunk."
Jon's face darkened as he avoided eye contact with them.
"I didn't expect Sanguine to be this prideful about getting me drunk. Also, Sanguine's quest wasn't supposed to go like this." Jon started looking for excuses.
But he was right, the Daedric Quest of Sanguine was supposed to be a bit light-hearted. The player would participate in a drinking contest with Sanguine who is disguised as a Breton calling himself Sam Guevenne. After the contest, the player would wake up in Markarth after breaking into the Temple of Dibella, figure out that he stole a goat and sold it to a giant, figure out that he got married to a Hagraven and figure out that Sam Guevenne is Sanguine and he is somewhere in Eastmarch then get a reward for entertaining the Daedric Prince.
That is what was supposed to happen.
What actually happened was Jon taking his gang into Whiterun and directly looking around for Sam Guevenne then asking him for a drink strong enough to make him drunk. After the last breakthrough, Jon acquired a high tolerance to Alcohol making it impossible to feel the slightest of dizziness. It was an absolute deal-breaker to him but he thought he would manage somehow.
Sam Guevenne used every liquor at his disposal to try to affect Jon but it almost felt hopeless. Even the Avatar of the Daedric Prince of Alcohol was feeling dejected that every known alcohol didn't work on Jon's high tolerance. What was left was to get creative and Sam Guevenne had to resort to extreme measures. He faded back to Oblivion to return to his prime as the Daedric Prince Sanguine and Jon didn't exactly know what happened but according to the talk between the Dremora, Sanguine have done something reckless in order to brew a liquor strong enough to make Jon drunk.
Jon's [Eternal Flesh] power along with his [Thunder Heart Formation stage] gives him an Enhanced Metabolism which renders most diseases and poisons useless thus a special brew was needed to outlast this metabolism. The product managed to exhaust Sanguine quite significantly as he seemed to have had to travel across Oblivion for a few times to gather its ingredients. It was a matter of Pride to the Daedric Prince in order to make this ridiculous mortal that challenged him drunk.
The result was a Golden Liquor made of the most outrageous ingredients ever. Sam Guevenne bragged that he had to travel to Akavir itself to gather some of those ingredients such as Dragonling Extract, Essence of the Flame Monarch from Inferno, Pure Amber Prism from the Shivering Isles, Honey Petals from the Planet of Dibella, and such.
Jon had to admit that this is the best liquor in the world worthy of its creator but while he was complementing it, Sam Guevenne seemed to have disappeared. Jon didn't give it much thought as he wanted to really feel tipsy again but he didn't realize what has changed in the world.
After a day, everyone other than him started to instantly become sober as if their liquors were not working anymore no matter how they drink. According to Xikil, every liquor other than Jon's has lost its intoxicating property and became just a normal liquid. The scale of this phenomenon was global.
No one knows how but Xikil said that the Dremora that serve Sanguine can't contact their Lord anymore. To sum it up, there was only one established fact here.
The Daedric Prince of Booze has gone missing.
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So, where did Sanguine disappear to? To answer this question, a few things needed to be taken into consideration.
First, Sanguine is the Daedric Prince of Dark Desires which fairly extends from the smallest Nasty Pranks to actively indulge oneself into Serial Killing. Any sort of dark indulgence there would be the path of Sanguine. Getting Drunk and doing all manner of drunken atrocities is part of the list as well and here is where the problem lies. Jon was having problems with drinking since his metabolism can deal with most poisons let alone alcohol thus Sanguine promised Jon to make him the drink which will get him completely hammered. Second, the way Sanguine made contact with Jon was through his Avatar, Sam Guevenne, as Daedric Princes can't manifest on Tamriel without the help of a mortal medium especially in the late 200 years after the Oblivion Crisis. How or where do they find Mortal Vessels is beyond Jon's knowledge. The other Avatar he met before was a Breton called Theodor Gorlash who was an avatar of Sheogorath who came and acted as a Gothi at his wedding.
With little to know, Jon wondered how he would embark on a journey to rescue a Daedric Prince so that everyone else can get drunk.
"My Thane, I suggest you give up. You are under obligation to report what just happened here to Jarl Balgruuf as one of the duties related to your badge of office."
Jon, who was lying on the ground in the middle of the yard of fort Greymoor, looked back at her and furrowed his brows.
"Lydia? Since when have you been here?" Jon asked, having trouble remembering some side details from yesterday's mayhem.
It was safe to say that Lydia just kept looking at him without even blinking. The passive-aggressive look in her eyes kicked some memories back into his hungover head as he remembered some woman with black hair following along through the mayhem. She was never drunk or anything, she was just observing.
"Since… the beginning, huh?"
"…"
"Alright… is everyone ready to go?"
"Where to, my Thane?"
"After Sanguine or Sam Guevenne or whoever knows any clue about this shitshow."
"Aside from you, Master Mirren and Master Wulfur, the rest haven't still recovered from that alcohol. Even Mistress Nefertiti is like that." Lydia pointed at the nearby tower where Nefertiti was experiencing a mental breakdown.
"Hooman! No! Hooman! Why? I ate my hooman and I don't feel bad about it! What is going on? Why am I walking upside down?"
Seeing her in her human form, lying on her back and fighting her illusions; Jon felt a little apologetic about it.
"That's not liquor, it's catnip." He said.
"I will contact mistress Alina and ask her for instructions then." Lydia seemed determined to bring this ordeal to an end.
"Alright, alright!" Jon held his swinging head and stood up waving at her, "Ah! I have a head for a hundred. Listen, take the passed-out ones home. Leave me with Wulf and Mirren… and I'll do something about Nefertiti. *Whistle* Girl, get down here!"
"NoOoOoOo! I still hear hooman! I'm not pregnant, right? NOOO!" Nefertiti held her head and started screaming and kicking around.
"What should I tell mistress Alina about your future whereabouts?" Lydia asked.
"Mistress Alina this, Mistress Alina that? Why do you keep threatening me as if you're holding some sort of advantage?" Jon turned to Lydia with an annoyed face.
On the other hand, she faintly and mischievously smiled but hid that smile away in the same instant, not fast enough for Jon not to notice thought.
"You little…" Jon felt betrayed by his housecarl but there wasn't a thing he could do about it, Lydia was under instructions from Alina to keep tabs on Jon all the time he's out for fun.
"Alright." He gave up, "Tell Alina I will go save the world by looking for a missing Daedric Prince whose sphere is fading or else every liquor maker in the world will run out of business, capisce?"
"Understood, my Thane."
Jon instantly summoned [Pride] and opened a portal for Lydia who started carrying Vladimir, Hafthor and the rest of the passed out gang. Before she could say anything, Jon came from behind her and "lightly" pushed her into the portal before closing it right away.
"Good Lord above! Now we can think straight." Jon looked around and walked to Mirren and Wulfur who were still holding their heads, "Remember that Oblivion tour we were talking about. It is happening, gentlemen."
Saying that so bluntly, the other two looked at him with heavy heads.
"Some other time, please."
"Yes, not now."
The two seemed to be out of energy just from rampaging last night. Their hangover was even worse than Jon's whose recovery was abnormally fast. He collected the depressed Nefertiti and waited an hour until his friends were able enough to listen to him after consuming a few bottles of hangover remedy.
Jon wasn't sure what exactly had happened but he recovered a normal bottle of alcohol and no matter how much the others drank from it, they didn't even get a little bit tipsy. On the other hand, the liquor brewed by Sanguine was still potent enough to make Jon feel worried about smelling it.
"So… you're telling us that Sanguine made this whole mess by giving you a liquor that ruined all the other liquor in the world?" Wulfur asked.
"Then you got a word from Oblivion that the said Daedric Prince has disappeared after using up too much power?" Mirren continued.
"That sounds about right." Jon agreed.
"And that?" Wulfur pointed at the cage nearby.
The three turned around for a cage made of reinforced metal, the same kind Jon uses for his Daedric experiments. In that cage, a small dog was sitting innocently dangling his tongue and whining from time to time.
"If your memory hasn't still recovered, this is a dog that Jon captured, suspecting it to be a Daedric entity." Mirren said.
"You serious?" Wulfur felt it is a bit extreme, "This looks like an innocent little pub."
Those words weren't really wrong for someone who just took a single glance at the unfortunate creature. Still, they weren't a good enough excuse to sway Jon.
"Wulfur! Have the dogs licked your brain?"
"N- No!"
"Have their pathetic puppy eyes power tricked you?"
"Never, man!"
"Good! Look at that and tell me what you see?"
"… A- A dog?"
"Look even closer!"
"It's just a dog, I swear."
"Hmph! I'm disappointed in you, brother." Jon said as he pointed the end on his staff towards the caged dog and hit it with it.
{Ouch! That hurts, you moron!}
And all of a damn sudden, the Dog spoke while barking as his voice was transmitted with some sort of telepathy. It was angry and started moving away from Jon.
"See?" Jon finally got to do the presenting pose.
""Daaayum! The dog just spoke!"" Wulf and Mirren reacted at the same time while leaning back in awe.
The reaction made the dog park in anger.
{This damned land is host to giant, flying lizards and two-legged cat-men, and you're surprised by me? Yeah, I just talked. And am continuing to do so.} It replied.
"As I was saying. This piece of shit is a talking dog. The most taboo in our Cat Cult if you ask me." Jon added.
"So… that thing… is it Daedric?" Mirren asked.
{Thing? Daedric? You god-damned pointy-eared moron! I'm a Dog and yes, I am Daedric. Not just any Daedric, you see! My master is Clavicus Vile, Daedric prince of wishes. As you can imagine, he's quite the important person.} Barbas replied.
"And that sums up why you shouldn't trust dogs." Jon commented.
"STUPID DOGGOOO!"
All of a sudden, Nefertiti (on catnip) charged at the cage and started passing her arms through its bars wanting to beat up the panicking Barbas.
Jon shook his head at his hopelessly high cat and lifted her up from her nape.
"You can turn into your normal form and slide through the bars without effort, you know." He said.
"Hm?" She thought for a while before deciding not to, "Nya… too tired…" She dozed off and started purring on his arm.
"As I was saying. This whole shity situation started developing when a dog showed up. That's a bad sign I tell you." Jon returned to the subject.
"Overlooking the dog itself, his identity as Clavicus Vile's pet is troublesome." Wulfur noted, "What should we do with it?"
"As much as I hate Clav, having his dog in a cage is better than killing it. You see, Clav gets annoyed by the mutt so often so he throws him into Nirn. If you kill Barbas, he returns to Oblivion where his Master is. I am not sure about why Clav would throw his dog but in truth, that Dog is the actual vessel of Clav's powers. Without it, Clav is kinda powerless." Jon explained the relationship between Barbas and Clavicus Vile.
"Oooh! And as an enemy of Clavicus Vile, you wouldn't give him his power back." Mirren realized it.
"Exactly. Clav is still strong of course as a Daedra but his influence is now disturbed. Now. Sanguine is somehow lost while Clav's dog was loitering around, what do I get from that?" Jon asked while eyeing the traumatized dog in the cage.
{I have nothing to do with it!} Barbas barked.
"And why would I, Monarch of the Cat Cult, believe in a Dog?"
{The fuck do I care! I may be a vessel for the power of a Daedric Prince but I can't use it. How can I make another Daedric Prince disappear?}
"That dog is bluffin." Wulfur pointed, "He insists that he has nothing to do with it and has no ability to do something to Sanguine. That doesn't mean he doesn't know what happened to Sanguine!"
"Cat Bless, brother Wulfur." Jon held the hand of the sleeping Nefertiti and blessed Wulfur with a pat.
"BLESSINGS! BLESSINGS! All blessed…" Nefertiti woke up all of a sudden and gradually returned back to sleep.
"As the Supreme Monarch of the Heavenly Cat Cult…"
"Has the title just got bigger?" (Mirren)
"… I suspect this dog to be conspiring against Sanguine!"
{For fucks sake, you cat freak moron! All that happened is Sanguine has pissed off some people in high places and got chased out of Nirn with a couple of lightning bolts up his ass.} Barbas replied.
"So the dog knows things, as expected of your twisted kind. I, the Divine Supreme Monarch of the Celestial Heavenly Cat Cult, will give you a chance to clear your name." Jon said.
"You're going too far with the title, mate?" Wulfur said
"I know, right? It is actually the High Fluff but that won't intimidate that dog. Look at it shivering from the grand names I come up with." Jon nodded, "Ehem, speak little mutt. What do you know?"
{Tsk… maniacs! All I know is, Prince Sanguine angered both Kynareth and Dibella at the same time. Why? Not sure. My Master got curious so he reached out to me and told me to look into what happened. Once I arrived, I found a bunch of humans running around like headless ducks and felt the presence of Kynareth nearby. That's all.}
"I see… the Presence of Kynareth. Strange! My wife would have known if it was anything related to Kyne." Jon scratched his chin, "What about Dibella?"
{Why would I know? Sanguine and Dibella are Archenemies, he may have tried some prank on her once again and got his ass handed to him. Happens every few centuries.}
"No clues in that direction, huh? Find, now you have to guide me to that location of Kyne's Presence." Jon kicked the cage before carrying it up with one arm.
{Dammit! Alright… there, that way?}
"Are you sure?"
{Yeah…}
"You lying son of a bitch… which is not an insult for a dog now that I think about it. See how tricky it is with Dogs? Those bastards! Fine, you go first!"
{Wait… human… don't do it…}
Ignoring Barbas the Dog and his rambling, Jon tossed the cage with all his strength across the sky.
"My Cat Cultist friends, I present to you the correct and the most accurate way to play Fetch with a dog. Toss the dog and go fetch it. Very satisfactory."
***
Barbas would expect that the cage he was tossed in would shatter but the Dare Industries products are known for their sturdiness above all else. A few minutes passed and three men appeared.
"Ready to tell me where the right direction is? You know I would keep tossing you until we arrive there so make sure to get tossed around the least number of times." Jon said with a smile that is not really a smile.
{Fuck… human… I got my tail trapped under the cage.}
"Next time, use the seat built, you ass. Now, which direction?*
A few tosses later, Jon could finally feel the presence of Kynareth as well. It was moving around on the ground level away from the main routes. According to Jon's memory, these are smuggling routes. He tossed the cage one last time towards the presence and it fully stopped.
"Let's go see."
With [Bloodskal] in hand, Jon and his sworn brothers marched forward a few hundred meters until they found a caravan of smugglers. Redguards, Imperials, Argonians and some Elves. Exactly the kinds one would expect of a smuggler's caravan.
The smugglers saw Jon and he saw them, with a smile, he walked towards them showing a smug attitude.
"Ladies and Gents, you are carrying an item which I wish to relieve you the effort of moving around. What say you?" He said ignoring the dead smuggler which Barbas' cage landed on.
The smugglers were still trying to realize what sort of situation was this before one of the escorts decided to face Jon.
"Get lost, kiddo. This is no place for playing." The mercenary guy said.
Jon, Wulfur and Mirren tilted their heads almost at the same time. What part of Jon would suggest that he's a kiddo? Maybe his skin is smooth and has no rough spots but to mistake him for a kiddo.
"You die first." Jon pointed at the cargo and spoke, "I won't be gentle anymore, this is a robbery.
He used [Telekinesis] on one of the carriages and threw in front of the caravan to prevent anyone from escaping on the narrow road.
"He's… He's a Mage. Take him out first!" The Mercenaries charged at Jon who was having a cringe look on his face.
Wulfur walked past him and with his Daedric Hammer Artifact, [Volendrung], he hit a man with a *ting* sound all the almost 50 meters up in the air. The poor guy died after the head and his lifeless body made an arc before the sky and the land while causing everything to look up and down with the fallen corpse.
"Ki… Kill the Mage first, deal with that monster later."
They all avoided Wulfur and headed towards the feeble mage, little did they know… or little did they live afterwards.
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