Chapter 64: Chapter 64: Wiretap his banjo
Momonga sighed as he walked into what appeared to be a dungeon. 'I didn't know we'd have a dungeon, but in retrospect it makes sense…'
'Lord Phenix' greeted Momonga as he walked into a dark room in the dungeon. Momonga saw that the Overlord Wiseman had captured a fairly tall woman in a silver and white dress and had tied her to a rack that looked as if it had been used for medieval tortures, and had old, dried blood-stains that told Momonga that it had been used for that exact purpose.
He quickly analyzed the woman's condition and saw that her dress had been stained gray from dust and dirt of the dungeon and she had a burlap sack over her head, but was otherwise unharmed.
Momonga sighed as he asked the Overlord Wiseman through a wordless message, as the summon was close enough that he could do so, if he'd done anything to her, and got a reply that he had disabled the girl with [Negative Energy Touch] but hadn't 'questioned' her further. 'Oh well… And here comes another incident-waiting-to-happen to my lap…'
He sighed and sent a message to the Overlord Wiseman to back off the room and let him handle the situation.
'Right, perhaps this'll be the last incident of the day…' Momonga sighed as he approached the woman and she froze, no doubt hearing his approach.
"Don't worry. Everything will be alright." Momonga told the unknown woman as he figured that he could leverage the Overlord Wiseman's hostility in a sort of 'good cop-bad cop' way, placing himself in the shoes of the 'good cop'. 'Touch Me told me about these sorts of situations when he was drunk… I think he was an enforcer of some sort, but I never really asked for specifics… not that he'd provide them anyway, or I wanted to know about those anyway, since YGGDRASIL interactions were so heavily monitored…'
"Hm?"
'I need to think, Ddraig, not now.' Momonga dismissed the dragon's curiosity as he pulled the bag off the woman's head.
"Greetings." He greeted the woman who shook her head, looking stuck between fright, determination, and cold-headed analyzing. "I am Momon Phenix. Who are you?"
"..." The woman narrowed her eyes at Momonga, then his words hit her and her eyes opened wide and it was clear her determination made way for panic as she started to struggle against the binds that tied her to the torture-rack.
Then she glanced at her surroundings and her eyes widened further and her struggling intensified, albeit calling it a proper struggle would be a bit excessive considering how badly the Negative Energy had sapped her strength as her struggling could be better described as squirming.
'Hm, since 'Lord Phenix' disabled her using Negative Energy I can't allow her to leave with the memories of the capture intact as she could blow my cover, but I need to figure out who she is, what she is doing here and if she's anyone important before I do anything hasty. If she's Grayfia's sister or something and just came to snoop around to find out what kind of person I am, and I kill her, I'll land myself into hot water with Sirzechs…' Momonga analyzed the woman's looks and noted the similarity between the two women.
"Hey, calm down. I'm not going to hurt you." Momonga placed his hand on the side of the unknown woman's head and turned it towards him, making his best effort to make his voice come out as 'comforting and calm'. "What's your name? Lord Phenix found you snooping around m- his castle-estate and we've already had one hostile interruption to my engagement ceremony today. I think he overreacted a bit, taking you down and bringing you here, but I'd still like to know who you are?"
"I- no, I am no-one." The woman caught herself mid-speech, almost as if she was starting to talk but remembered what she was supposed to say when captured and then clamped down again. "..."
"...I see. You know, that means I have to assume you're an agent of the 'Supreme Being', who has been trying to kill me a couple of times already. And that you've been sent here to assassinate me." Momonga noted gently, keeping his hand on the side of the woman's head. 'I could probably use [Control Amnesia], but that'd leave me out of mana… which isn't good, since she might have backup and things might spiral out of control. To do that I'd need to drink a small pile of the mana potions to get back into minimal combat viability… Then again, I already discovered that I can control this body to a greater degree than previously, so I might be able to shrug off the side-effects… at least until later tonight.'
Momonga sighed as the woman froze but her eyes still had a defiant glint, determined to keep her identity hidden.
He drew his hand away from her head and pulled back. "Listen, I need you to work with me. I don't want to do anything hasty here."
The woman was utterly unresponsive and Momonga sighed for one last time before turning around and reaching for his inventory, grabbing a pile of mana potions and a hose and then turning to face her again.
"EEEK!" the woman seemed to react to the items. "I'm Rossweisse! Stop! Please! Don't!"
'Huh, it seems that she knows these items… So she's from the Underworld? Although, since these 'tantric energy boosters' are apparently imported into the Underworld it's likely they're sold elsewhere as well so they might be fairly well known items.' Momonga analyzed the reaction and drank the potions with the help of the hose.
"No… I- I- I- I'm Rossweisse! I'm a retainer to Lord Odin!" The woman blurted out in panic. "Please don't! I- I… don't… w-want to do that, um, p-please… I was just, um, lost? Lord Odin ditched me and I got lost and, ah- I was supposed to, uh..."
Momonga sighed. 'Well, there goes my reputation, but it's not like I couldn't guess how this might seem to someone who didn't know about my power. But it seems I've managed to crack her right open. She seems adverse to deviant acts, so I should be able to use that to my advantage if I need to...'
"Don't worry about these things, I'm just out of energy and need to recharge. I had two duels today, you see. And I found out these potions restore my energy, like devil energy." Momonga noted in what he hoped to be a good-natured way while he felt the potions restore a part of his mana. 'Hm, yes, my control over my host body is improving. I can keep 'it' down even when exposed to the potions, meaning that I should be able to use these potions without problem in the future… I'll just need to put them into some sort of vial or suchlike so the label doesn't alert people to their true contents.'
"A-eh?" Rossweisse seemed to be confused, which Momonga hoped to be a good sign.
"So, let's start anew if you don't mind? I'm Momon Phenix, and you're Rossweisse-san, right?" Momon asked while undoing one of her shackles which would free her hand, and then he offered his to the girl.
She shook it a bit warily. "I- I am?"
"Hm, you sound uncertain. Did you hit your head? Does anything hurt? I think Lord Phenix was on edge after the interruptions today and must have thought you were here to assassinate me or attack the party, like the last intruder did." Momonga placed the back of his hand lightly against her temple as if he was testing her temperature and the motion caused her to pause. "While I am just an adopted son of a noble house, and thus can't apologize on the behalf of the entire family, I'm truly sorry about what happened."
"It's… alright?" Rossweisse seemed wary and on guard, but also confused as Momonga moved to undo the rest of her shackles. The woman didn't jump off the rack, which clued Momonga to a possibility that she might not have the strength to stand under her own strength after the dose of Negative Energy that she had absorbed.
"I heard the commotion, asked Lord Phenix what happened and I found out that he had captured an 'unknown assailant'. Odin-kakka actually came to congratulate me for my recent engagement and the duels I won, but he came without invitation so I feel that there might have been a terrible misunderstanding due to lack of communication." Momonga explained calmly while Rossweisse rubbed her wrists. '...Of course the lack of shackles won't help her escape now that I have enough mana to cast one or two tenth-tier spells, but it should ease her up a bit and make it easier to gather information… I need to figure out what's happening, how many other infiltrators Odin sent, and what their goal is. Since 'Lord Phenix' was so aggressive I should be able to fan the flame further and pretend to be a hero who came to save her...'
He sent a wordless message to 'Lord Phenix' who was waiting outside the torture-room, within the range of his master-summon wordless communication, and he used it todetail his plan to him to the extent he could and got a confirmation back, which meant that Momonga's and 'Lord Phenix's stories would match if someone asked them about it.
"I believe Lord Phenix had planned to interrogate you in, hm, more 'traditional' way. And afterwards execute you and have dogs eat your body." Momonga gestured at the various cruel-looking items in the room, causing Rossweisse's face to pale further. "However, since it was my engagement ceremony that you came to snoop around in, I managed to convince him that I should have the right to talk to you first and if I found that you had no ill intent, see about releasing you."
"I- um, I don't… know what to say…" Rossweisse looked uneasy. "Thank you?"
"I haven't decided your innocence yet, though." Momonga noted, causing her to pause. "After all, I'm a bit worried about why you came here. A man by the name of 'Saji' tried to rob me of my fiancee just half an hour ago, and now there are foreign gods prowling about unseen and uninvited, and foreign ladies infiltrating my party. If I'm honest, I'm worried that you came here to kidnap my fiancees. After all, I recall Odin being something of a womanizer, and associated with vikings who were raiders and kidnappers?"
Momonga guessed the last part, as he recalled that the norse gods were related to vikings and raiders, who would steal and plunder wealth and kidnap women, and it wasn't hard to put two and two together and also add the influence of the ero-world to form a theory that Odin might have perverted tendencies.
Of course the claim was a bit of a stretch, but it'd also help Momonga test his newest 'ability' in action...
"I… see." Rossweisse sighed and there was a vein throbbing in her forehead. "Your fears aren't unjustified, I suppose… Still, Lord Odin didn't come here to steal your fiancee's. Um, I believe at least."
Momonga noted that the woman seemed to believe him, which then led Momonga to write yet another experiment as successful. 'I think my 'lying' is leveling up quite quickly. I wonder if it's tied to the 'level' of the one I'm deceiving or just about how much time I've spent spouting nonsense at someone?'
"You believe so?" Momonga asked. "But you aren't sure?"
"Lord Odin has, um, a unique personality and is not quite how the legends describe him… at least in the important places." Rossweisse grumbled, then froze as she must have realized she was talking to Momon.
"I see. Did you two come here alone? I'd really like to just invite you into my party officially and have us resolve this issue peacefully that way, but I need some form of guarantee that you won't start to wreck the place." Momon noted calmly while offering his hand to the girl and having his free hand on his chest above his heart, making it look as if he was offering the deal with honest intentions. "I'm sorry, but the safety of my fiancee's comes first. I'm sure you realize where I'm coming from with this."
"Ah." Rossweisse seemed to calm down and she began lifting herself off the torture-rack slowly, having seemingly relaxed a bit after Momonga's words. "I- I understand."
It seemed that the weakness from absorbing a load of Negative Energy was still affecting her and she stumbled, but Momonga managed to catch her mid-fall.
"A-ah! No! Don't!" Rossweisse struggled a bit initially, but the flails of her hands didn't find much purchase as the hugging position made it a bit difficult to strike and her strikes were like those of wet noodles due to her weakened state. "N-no... Please..."
"Shh, calm down. Everything's going to be alright… I thought you'd fall and caught you. Nothing more." Momonga whispered to her ear as he put her down on the rack again but kept the hug as she struggled a bit, but seemed to calm down and hugged him back. And then she rubbed the back of his head with her fingers in a curious motion. 'Hm, so she's Odin's retainer… It's advantageous for me to get on her good side, as it'll help me influence Odin… With my leveling-up lying I should be able to pretend I'm worried about her, and I should be able to send her back to Odin while forging amiable relationship with her which I can leverage to possibly get …'
"Cool plan, my guy." Ddraig noted as the dragon lied on its back in the pile of mental-gold Momonga had imagined for it. "You might want to consider that she might have a thing going on with Odin, though. The last I heard of him he was a massive pervert, so he's probably got his gnarly fingers on the girl. If the relationship is not consensual though…"
'...I should be able to leverage it. Also, why didn't you tell me Odin was a pervert?" Momonga was a bit crass at the dragon for withholding information. Then he remembered the faint tidbit himself, and sighed as he realized that the memories he had second-hand skimmed from the dragon's head were a mess in his head, and he'd probably need to use [Control Amnesia] on himself a couple of times to get them sorted safely and effectively.
"Well, you wanted to test out your 'lying' and figured that you might already know about it since you read my memories so…"
'Point taken.' Momonga turned his attention back to the white-haired woman who was shivering as if she was cold in his hug. "But, I'd also like to ask if you're alright? And if you needed help?"
"W-what?"
"The fact Lord Phenix found you cowering in an abandoned room makes me think you might have been forced to come here against your will and you escaped, but landed yourself in hot water because of it." Momonga explained, leveraging his 'lying' to make himself sound sincere and attempting to have the woman to think of him as a 'good person' who was 'worried about her', which would help him break ice with her and help him improve his relationships with the Norse Gods through her as she'd no doubt spread the word of his 'honesty' to them if they questioned her. Then he moved onto his next offer, which he was fairly certain she wouldn't take as it was a bit of a stretch on all accounts. "Listen, if Odin has distressed you, or you're in an unhappy relationship with him, I can help you."
The woman froze and tried to mutter something, but Momonga kept the woman in his hug. "I can help you. I can talk to Lord Phenix, and we can come up with a story that he caught you 'snooping around' and trying to assassinate me, and we can demand that Odin turn you over to us. He won't have a choice because he came without invitation, and thus any excuse he'd make would be shaky at best."
The woman froze further, but Momonga got the impression that she was listening.
"I can help you. Just tell me if you want my help if he's doing something inappropriate to you and you suffer because of him. If Odin becomes violent, well, you've probably seen my duel against Serafall so you know I can protect you from him." Momonga told the girl while rubbing her back and using the outwardly gentle touch to layer her with a tracking spell, making a gamble as it'd use the mana he had gained from drinking the potions. 'I can keep track of her movements with this, as long as she remains in this plane of existence called 'Underworld', and use [Planar Eye] to snoop on her if she goes somewhere… That way I can turn her into a mole even if she doesn't take my bait...'
"I-it's alright, it's nothing, L-Lord Odin isn't like that… Most of the time anyway..." Rossweisse assured.
Momonga pulled back and let go of the woman. 'And the seed is planted…'
"Be careful with your seductive ways or you'll turn that from figurative to literal." Ddraig snorted with a dry tone and Momonga dismissed the dragon's sarcasm.
"Alright, I believe you. But my offer stands, if you ever need it. But we might want to move somewhere more comfortable and bright. Today's a day of celebration, after all." Momonga nodded and then waved his hand at the room around them. "So, I'd like to formally offer you an invitation to my little engagement ceremony, if you choose to accept it."
"I- I accept." Rossweisse shook all over as she tried to get on her feet again, and Momonga moved beside her to lock her arm with his, supporting her wobbly movements. "T-thank you."
"Don't mention it." Momonga sent a wordless cue to the Overlord Wiseman outside the door, causing the summon to slam the door open and severely frightening Rossweisse.
"Ah? And here I was preparing the red-hot tongs… I trust you tore whatever information you needed out of this foolish insect's body, Momon-san?" 'Lord Phenix' glanced at the woman with a look that'd cause plants to wither. Which would be literal, if Momonga had given the creature permission to use its full complement of abilities. "I'll move to more… in-depth interrogation now. Hand the maggot over to me."
Momonga glanced at the physical body that the Overlord Wiseman inhabited and noted that it was a bit pale, but seemed to be otherwise 'alive'. "There's no need for that, she was merely lost. Isn't that right, Rossweisse-chan?"
"Y-yes…" Rossweisse's head wobbled in a way that one could constitute a nod as she paled in front of 'Lord Phenix's ire and words.
"...Is that so?" 'Lord Phenix's eyes narrowed on the woman. "Hogwash. Hand her to me."
"Not happening." Momonga moved his body in front of the girl, causing her to wobble and lean against his back to keep herself from keeping over. 'Very good method acting.'
'Thank you, my lord.' came the worldless response. "Do not force my hand, Momon. You may be my son by law, but your word does not override mine."
"She is innocent. Of this I am certain." Momonga shielded Rossweisse with his body while the girl shivered. 'Good, that's enough.' "I hold no power over you, but this is my wish. After all, today is a day of celebration. She holds no ill will towards us, and had no choice but to come here under the leash of her master, so I have offered her a chance to join the festivities."
"...Very well. Your argument is solid. But if she wanders once more, or strikes against our guests, I'll tear her secrets from her flesh and will have our hounds tear her apart." The disguised Overlord Wiseman nodded its head just minutely, then turned around in a grand flourish and with equally ominous swoop of his dark red cape that he had on one of his shoulders, and walked off.
'Hm, good, good… I think that should be enough.' Momonga turned to tie his arm around Rossweisse's arm. "Everything's alright. Don't worry."
The white-haired woman was near hyperventilating from the after-effects of 'Lord Phenix's presence. 'Hm, good… Overlord Wiseman performed his part to a tee, and without using his auras... Now it's my turn to play the good cop again…'
"Let's get out of here. To somewhere with fresh air." Momonga led the near-unconscious woman out of the dungeon and into a balcony. "Better?"
"M-much better, thank you…" It seemed that the effects of the [Negative Energy Touch] were starting to dissipate, and while Momonga was worried that she'd discover just what she had been disabled by, he had a feeling that she was in such shock after the whole event that any attempts from her to accurately recall the effects would likely dud. 'It's a gamble, let's hope it pays off… and if it doesn't, 'Lord Phenix' is the one who lands in hot water because of it. And since Lady Phenix already knows about the 'complications' during the resurrection, we can figure out some excuse for 'Lord Phenix' knowing how to use [Negative Energy Touch]...'
He rubbed Rossweisse's back as she gulped fresh air like fish out of water while thinking about the possible excuses he'd be able to use, and then pat her shoulder. "Alright. Tell me when you're ready to move again. I think the Peerage's areas are a bit less crowded so if you want to, you can go mingle with my Peerage and perhaps get something to eat."
"I… If it's not too much of a bother, I'd like to… uh… r-return to Lord Odin…" Rossweisse looked a bit ill but managed to get the words out.
Momonga turned her towards him and placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "Alright, if that's what you really want. But promise me, if something happens to you… contact me. I'll be here for you."
"A-alright. I will." Rossweisse blushed a bit and withdrew out of Momonga's reach. "I… I think I've recovered a bit now. T-thank you again."
"I hope we'll meet again."
"...I do so too." The woman's words were quiet as she cast some sort of runic circle in air that seemed vaguely familiar to Momonga and she disappeared into motes of light.
"Haa… well then, back to the celeb- uh?" Momonga turned around, only to see a red beast glaring at him with a baleful sapphire eye, it's face half-covered by the stone doorframe behind which it hid, gripping the balcony entrance's stone-sculpted doorside with enough force that the granite had started to develop hairline cracks and crumble like sand. "U-umu, hello, Rias, dear?"
"Mh-hm, perhaps I shouldn't have expected you to remain faithful for a single day, but here I am witnessing you attempt to wiggle your way into some other girl's dress… with oh so beautiful and reassuring words..." The half-hidden red-headed beast seemed to radiate a dreadful aura that made Momonga wonder just for a moment if she was starting to develop some form of [Aura of Despair] of her own.
"I-in my excuse I was just trying to keep her from being executed because Lord Phenix was a bit crass since she had infiltrated the party and he thought she was going to crash the party like Sona's Peerage did…" Momonga instantly tossed the Overlord Wiseman under the red-headed truck. "U-um, did something happen? Or…"
"No, not at all, I was just wondering where my dear husband went during our engagement party, when I was about to introduce you to my parents…" Rias's growld deepened into a grumble. "Wait, what did you say was about to happen?"
"Um, Rossweisse was going to get executed unjustly, but I thought that it was wrong so I jumped in and stopped it?" Momonga blinked, and then tried to keep himself from getting knocked over the balcony's stone-sculpted railing as Rias turned from a prowling beast to a red-tipped missile that impacted his chest.
"Isseish…" A muffled word came through the kiss that seemed so desperate that Momonga wondered for a while if Rias was trying to pull a murder-suicide by starving both of them of oxygen. Of course it wouldn't work on him, but it'd make him look bad if Rias committed suicide by kiss so he pulled out after a while. "Issei… You're coming back… Your determination… will..."
"I'm Momon." Momonga sighed once again. 'Ugh... There goes my progress with her...'
"Yeah… Of course. Sorry." Rias paused to swipe a tear from the corner of her eye before it could ruin her makeup. "I forgot…"
"Ahem, so about Rossweisse, it wasn't like that, but…"
"It's alright. You couldn't help yourself, I understand." Rias placed her gloved hand on Momonga's host body's lips before he could finish his excuse. "It's alright…"
'...Women.' Momonga sighed both externally and internally and sent a glare internally at the dragon in his mind who was rolling on his back and laughing.
"Aha… It's alright. A moonlit goodbye after saving a fair maiden, how romantic… Her name was Rossweisse-chan, right?" Rias joked and took Momonga's hand in hers. "What happened?"
"She was retainer to Odin, who apparently came to the party uninvited to congratulate me for my victory and for my engagement. Lord Phenix was pretty high-strung after the stunt Saji pulled, found Rossweisse snooping around and thought she was a agent of the 'Supreme Being' or something and stuffed her to a torture chamber, but I managed to convince him to let her leave by inviting her to the party. She teleported away just now." Momonga quickly recounted the events, at least the version that he wanted to get out, and Rias huffed in a good-natured way.
"Pfft. And now Odin of all beings came to personally meet you?" Rias reached to poke his temple. "No more earth-shattering events, breaking dimensions, unveiling unforeseen powers, saving fair maidens, and rubbing shoulders with gods today, alright?"
"I'd love to." Momonga sighed, then grew a bit nervous as Rias narrowed her eyes. "No promises though. It seems that trouble finds me. It's as if I had a blinking red sign above my head."
"Heh, you got that right… Anyway! Let's go meet my parents." Rias took Momonga's hand and dragged him off.
'From a frying pot and into the fire… Also, not. A. Word. From. You.' The mental thought was directed to the dragon who had rolled on his stomach, had covered its face with its forearm and was slamming his free hand against the cracked-dry soil to stifle its chuckling.
.
.
Rossweisse breathed out as she fell on her knees in the 'living room' of the quarters that Sirzechs Lucifer had assigned to her and Odin during their stay in the Underworld, and then flopped face-first on the floor as the realization that she was still alive hit her. 'Haa… haa… that was too close, way too close… That could have gotten really, really, really bad…'
She put her hand against her chest to calm her breathing as she rolled on her back . 'Did something like that happen to Odin as well? That was… something else…'
'No way. That wouldn't happen to Odin… I just got careless, and was almost tortured to death by a paranoid devil and then eaten by dogs…' The thought was causing Rossweisse to shudder, but then the thought of the calm, reassuring voice that was like a warm bath to her shivering body came to her mind. And the warmth of the hug that had enveloped her, the passionate words and the promise Momon had given to her, alongside an invitation to join the party with him.
The wide back that had protected her from harm when the paranoid devil had returned to finish what it had started, the perfectly reasonable, professional arguments Momon had made without raising his voice or resorting to violence, not to mention the fact Momon would likely have a bright future and guaranteed financial stability due to Phenix family's healing products...
'...Aaaargh! I panicked and let him slip off my fingers!'' Rosswesse rolled back on her stomach and whacked the floor with her fists in her bitter frustration, which was more like two noodles flailing about as she had only barely regained enough power to teleport away but fighting was completely no-go. Although she checked the surroundings first just in case, as her pride and image as the picture-perfect professional Valkyrie would never recover if she was caught doing something as childish as throwing a tantrum. 'Why did I flee? I could have been in the party with him right now... I bet he hates me now… I've always been career-focused… I could have… no, that party was literally his engagement party… so he was taken anyway… I'm so stupid… Besides I'd have just embarrassed him and myself because of how wobbly I am right now… I need to figure out what poison that devil used on me, if they've developed some super-potent anti-divine-being weakening poison it'd be bad...'
Rossweisse's frustration over the ease of her capture was further augmented by her possibly finding a potential boyfriend but then the chance seemed to slip away into mist once again.
The combination caused Rossweisse to roll around a few times on the floor out of frustration after double-checking no-one was present. 'Not only I failed my mission lord Odin entrusted me with, I was almost tortured and killed, then got saved by a gentle and compassionate hunk, panicked and ran away…'
'It's not like he'd be interested in me anyway… I'm just a huge career-nerd, practically an outcast among Valkyries and a foreigner to him, and he's the scion of a noble house of devils… I just hope his fiancee understands just how good of a catch she's gotten…'
A hefty dose of bitterness entered Rossweisse's thoughts. 'Pah, the high-tier devils value blood so highly that most of the marriages they have are forced arranged marriages between the sons and daughters of noble families, or that's as far as I know about devil culture anyway, so Momon was most likely forced into a arranged, forced marriage with some evil, wrinkled old crone that constantly nags and verbally and physically abuses Momon, despite him being nothing but the perfect, caring gentleman to her…'
'...But then a pretty white-haired foreigner girl comes along as part of a foreign pervert's retinue and she gets caught by Momon's abusive dad when the pervert ditches her to chase skirts, and Momon rescues her before the abusive dad can torture the girl… and Momon and the foreigner girl start to develop feeligns for each other despite Momon being forced to marry a horrifying crone against his will… But he can withstand the crone because the white-haired girl is there to comfort him in his dark times...' Rossweisse rolled to the side as her imagination took over.
'And then the two meet in secret, and go on dates and find out that they're perfect for each other, a professional, gentle and compassionate hunk, and a bit nerdy but cool and professional yet innocent girl…' She rolled to the other side.
'But then! Momon's crone of a wife finds out, and locks him up… and then the girl busts in, breaks the crone's nose and busts Momon out of his cell where the crone has forced him to subsist on stale breakfast rations imported from Valkyries of the North…' The rolling continued.
'...And then the two of them run away together, and Momon comes with her to Asgard… and they he buys a house since Momon managed to swipe his inheritance from under the crone's nose and is filthy rich… And then ensures the financial stability of himself and his future family by founding and heading a company that sells all sorts of goods from all corners of the earth for reasonable prices like a global hundred-yen shop...'
'...And then Momon turns towards the foreign girl, and locks his brown, warm eyes on hers… and tells her that he loves her, and wants them to marry and have kids... and she tells she loves him back… and then the two of them kiss, and it's the first real kiss either of them had, so it's a bit awkward but he gains control of the situation… and then wraps his strong hands around the girl's back, drawing her into his warm, smouldering embrace... '
'...And then she'll tell him that she wants to go all the way, and he agrees, and he carries her into the new home and takes off her clothes while she takes off his, and then he hugs her and tells her that she's the most beautiful girl he's ever seen… and then the two make gentle, compassionate love on warm, white and pure sheets… despite Odin nagging her that she's forgotten her mission, and…'
'...No! Odin's mission!' Rossweisse realized that she had forgotten something important and hastily un-rolled herself from the warm, fuzzy mat that she had managed to roll around her body while she rolled on the floor in her delusions. '...My mission from Odin… I needed to alert Sirzechs that something was amiss and that he needed to return…'
She rolled to her stomach and flailed at the floor in annoyance once more. 'Aaaah! I'm such an idiot, I could have asked to accompany Momon because I was feeling weak, and then tail behind him until he comes across Sirzechs and then warn him somehow…'
Rossweisse groaned her frustration to the soft and fluffy mat on the floor, sighed and then started to get up. Or at least got up as much as she could, which was basically her managing to drag her body into a nearby chair. '...I placed a tracking rune on Momon when he was hugging me, just in case, so that Odin would know I've been in contact with him as he'd be able to sense the tracker's presence and then hopefully he could rescue me… I was too weak to cast a communication rune and even then it could be intercepted since it would be a high-power rune…'
She was slowly starting to feel her body regain its strength after the paranoid old devil had somehow disabled her powers and drained her body of strength, but it would be a while before she could fight again. '...I could theoretically… yeah, if that devil comes after me again, Momon can protect me... And even then Momon managed to haggle a legit invitation for me…'
Rossweisse slapped herself in the cheeks a few times, wobbled on her feet and wobbled to a nearby mirror to check her makeup and hair, doing her best to salvage the situation that had resulted from her rubbing her face on the fuzzy mat and thus wiping her makeup on it.
'You can do this, Rossweisse! Just think of the stakes!' She managed to calm herself down as she drew power from the vision of her potential future where she got a top-tier boyfriend, even if the visage was vague and had a crone-shaped roadblock between her and him.
She breathed out, steeled her heart and cast a teleportation rune, aiming it at the tracking rune she had cast.
The Valkyrie took a headstrong step forwards and the teleportation circle deposited her close to her target...
...Too close to her target as she just saw a pair of hazelnut-brown eyes widen before her momentum smashed Rossweisse directly into her target, knocking both of them down.
'Uoh… ow.' Rossweisse felt weak and wobbly as the sudden fall had almost caused her to blank out for a second but the firm yet comfortable mattress under her had caught her fall, protecting her from harm the second time that day.
And she noticed that her lips were mushed against Momon's. 'M-my first kiss?!'
Rossweisse's eyes shot wide open and she pulled back hastily, albeit her vision swam and she wobbled a bit as she managed to get herself into a sitting position.
"...Well then. Greetings again, Rossweisse-san." Momon's tone was carefully neutral, causing Rossweisse's heart to freeze a little bit. "May I introduce you to my wife, Rias Phenix, previously Rias Gremory?"
The man who looked perfectly comfortable lying on his back on the marble floor gestured towards a woman with long red hair, facial features that were struck between girlish cuteness and more mature beauty which made her look as if she was late teenager, but her true age was betrayed by her body which had curves that wouldn't be out of place in the front cover of an adult magazine. A particularly high-class adult magazine at that.
The pretty, leggy, breasty and thigh-y woman with wide hips and narrow waist stared at Rossweisse, barely holding onto a long and narrow glass of some fizzy drink as she looked utterly dumbfounded by the white-haired valkyrie's sudden appearance.
Then the introduction hit Rossweisse in two counts- one, the 'crone' was in fact not at all a crone, but rather someone who'd punt Rossweisse six feet under the ground in terms of all beauty rankings. And two, she was Gremory, which was pretty much the Underworld's top-ranking family, whose scion was the reigning Maou of the Underworld.
Of course she might still have an awful personality but somehow Rossweisse didn't want to cast her die for that to be the case as well. Not that it mattered anymore as Rias Gremory's rank and family alone crushed any chances of her snatching Momon from under her.
Not that she'd try to actually do something that indecent and improper in the first place. Unless she found out that Momon was in an unhappy marriage, of course, in which case it'd be her just duty to do so.
Rossweisse's head turned mechanically and with rusted-twitchy motions as she scanned the people present and realized that she had landed in a ball hall of some sort, and there were quite a few devils staring at her straddling on top of knocked-over Momon.
"Ah, may I also introduce you to these fine devils: Zeoticus Gremory and Venelana Gremory, Rias's father, and the current head of the Gremory family, and her mother. And of course next to them stands the reigning Maou of the Underworld, Sirzechs Lucifer and his wife, Grayfia Lucifuge." Momon kept the introductions. "And may I introduce to you Rossweisse, Odin's retainer, who was separated from him due to an unforeseen incident."
"G-greetings…" Rossweisse choked out, then her eyes locked onto Sirzechs like that of a dying messenger squeezing the message out of her lungs after running through an artillery-bombarded trench and getting shredded. "Lord Sirzechs… Lord Odin requests your presence, there has been new developments in the subjects you have conversed about…"
"Ah, indeed. I am aware. Odin wondered why you were not back already and told Beelzebub, who in turn messaged me. I was merely exchanging some parting words with my family." Sirzechs showed a smartphone in his hands, causing Rossweisse's vision to swim as she realized that she had possibly torpedoed her chances of landing with Momon for naught while also risking death and pain if the paranoid devil got his mittens on her again.
"I- I- I'll, I guess I'll.. ueh… then…" Rossweisse tried to stand up, but failed as her legs managed to just lift her up slightly and then she collapsed back down. She tried again, but failed, and almost flopped down against Momon again.
"Um… Ahem. Rossweisse-san. I'm sorry but can I ask you to stop doing that?" Momon's cheeks were slightly red, and Rossweisse realized what her 'up and down' humping might have looked like to an outside observer, specifically as she noticed that she was sitting on Momon's hips. "Moreover, could I ask you to get up?"
"I- y-yes, of course… I'll just… go and die…" Rossweisse gathered the last of her powers, and with herculean effort, cast a rune behind her so she could fall on her 'back' through the teleportation circle…
...And she landed in front of her bed that had been assigned to her in Gremory territory. Or more specifically on top of her bed-end that caused her to almost snap her spine on the hard-wood frame.
She flopped down from the bed-end to her bed, and crawled under her blanket to cry and rage at the unjustness of the world. 'AAAAH! I embarrassed him in front of his wife, in front of the Underworld's top of the top elite, made myself a laughing stock, and all that for naught! …He hates me now...'
.
.
'Right, I'm checking myself for bugs…' Momonga was stuck between panicking and trying to rationalize what had happened as he got up from the floor and kept his easy going chatter up with Rias's parents, who turned out to be easily approachable and even down-to-earth kind of people, despite being one of the biggest families in the Underworld. 'Ddraig?'
"Dunno. Could it be that the girl turned you into a mole the same way you turned her into a mole?" Ddraig noted. "I don't know much about runic magic. It's just a bunch of chicken-leg scratchings posing as magic anyhow."
'Could it be that she did that teleport-in to warn me that the Norse Gods could attack me at any time, at any place?' Momonga's brain was in overdrive trying to find out what just happened. 'Was Odin just a messenger telling me that they have found me out, and then Rossweisse was sent to prod at my weaknesses, and they think that I'm a warm-hearted and caring person because I saved her, but she bugged me when I was bugging her, and now they threw her on me out of the blue to send me a warning not to interfere in their affairs or there will be consequences?'
"Could be. Either way, you're not going to find out the truth by making wild guesses. So if you hear my advice, just go and kidnap the girl and squeeze the information out of her." Ddraig noted while playing with a huge ball of gold Momonga had imagined for it, rolling it around like a kitten would with a ball of yarn. "Or just 'kidnap' her and then seduce her with your bullshit-levels of 'charm'. She seemed to believe you last time anyway."
'Assuming she wasn't the better liar who saw through my lies and lied to make me think that she believed me.' Momonga noted. 'But you're right, the answers lie with her… I'll just have to wait for tomorrow to be able to cast [Planar Eye] without running out of mana.'
He eyed Rias who looked more than a little annoyed. 'Assuming I live until tomorrow.'
"Beware the wrath of a woman scorned." Ddraig advised, and for once Momonga took it.
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