Synopsis
Everyone is always going to another world, not this time though. Dalvin a dwarven minner is fleeing to earth to hide and hopefully stay alive.
After finding somthing in the mines of his home world he flees to the lost world Earth. However it has changed much over the last 4000 years. Adapting to a new world Dalvin struggles to keep his secrets and his life safe.
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone You May Also Like
2Reviews
- Writing Quality
- Stability of Updates
- Story Development
- Character Design
- World Background
Share your thoughts with others
Write a review
This is a real review not just some "This novel is interesting I like it", nor is it some "This has potential but currently it's bad I'm looking for improvement later on." Rather I'm here to give you genuine criticism for your story. I'll start with writing your writing is fine but some things need to be improved. There are some simple typos that could be easily fixed by using a grammar correction software Grammarly or anything else would be fine. But using it would make your life much easier especially when proofreading. Though a lot of your writing feels rushed especially early on the main character is hardly established the world is vague and unexplained, and although Gods and Worlds are established they are the only vaguely touched upon and develop little sense of awe or interest because of how rushed it feels. The first part just seems like a complete plot dump, and although it makes some sense many parts just feel completely unnecessary to explain in the first place if they're not going to be expanded on. Afterward, the story starts to slow down causing whiplash for the plot. The story starts in a full sprint then just slows down. You should try and keep the plot consistent moving at a smoother pace so it's easier to understand and connect to the characters. The world and magic system are the most interesting part of your story explain them better and give a measuring point. At the start of your story, you should spend some time explaining and exploring the backstory of the main character to give a starting point of weakness for him before giving a goal to achieve. So that there's a sense of accomplishment when the main character gets stronger rather than have it feel as if he's just jumping around in terms of power. Your story is good it just needs to be fleshed out more explain the world in greater depth start at a more manageable pace then start to speed up. Establish the foundation of your story before you start to build.
Hey there! Here are some web novel recommendations for whom share the same taste with me. If you like this story, my recommendations are worth a try! https://docs.google.com/document/d/19R5KkqHOOHSMDkF4fHscVmxWcYGh0OntYsv8NglzsQo/edit?usp=sharing