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Cloven(Broken) Original

Cloven(Broken)

Teen 67 Chapters 188.4K Views
Author: oyslyness

4.6 (45 ratings)

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Synopsis

(p.s cover's not mine. Credit to the artist.)

A broken home, a broken family, a broken heart..... That's what Ashley's life is right now...


When Ashley, a young 18 year old is going through a tough phase in her life, she seeks her boyfriend's attention, Dave but catches him sleeping with herpay worst enemy, Lily. She is a definition of broken....until the town's bad boy Christian comes into town to lay low but sees how broken she is and tries to help her..... or so she thinks....

Will he finally help her?


Or make her feel more broken??


A book filled with hurt,sorrow,dispair,secrets and of course whats a book without romance.

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    45Reviews

    4.6

    • Writing Quality
    • Stability of Updates
    • Story Development
    • Character Design
    • World Background

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    melancholy_sins0

    The ratings come down to preference, and perspective, so don't be discouraged by my ratings. But, to make it clear, my ratings of "5 stars" mean that I literally cannot find anything wrong with it. First impression (based on first chapter): The writing style is really similar to S.E Hinton; the simplicity is all you need to "form" a visualized voice of the narrator, and it's never too lacking. Oh, just a heads up, it's not a standard translated novel, with systems, cultivation. It seems to be a romance novel, from the 21st century (I'm assuming). Wattpad fanfiction vibes, is what I'm getting. :D P.S, missing periods are there, and there. After reading all chapters (1-35): Thoughts: Chapter 2: WOOOO***W, who is that right there? Did you really- NOOO. I knew it. Dave was always a bastard. Chapter 3: Trish seems like that crazy girl, who everyone likes ngl. Chapter 4: WOOOWW, grey eyes has the perfect name. CHRISTIAN? YEAH, WHOOP GIRL. THIS IS SERIOUSLY GIVING ME FANFIC VIBES NOWWW. WHOOO, RAIN ON ME. Chapter 5: That's one good mother. Nobody likes two-faced, abusive ladies >:C Her world should end, not Ashley's D:< Chapter 6: Darn, I wished all guys chased me like Christian did. But honestly, Ashley's one tough girl. I would've been pushed to the edge with everything. Chapter 7: Hm... Trish's got that attitude~ I didn't think she was the type to react like that. Pumpkin's a real cute pet name. I'm kinda drooling over it lol. Chapter 8: OH, Trish was upset for an entire week? WOOWW. She must've trusted Ashley a BUNCh. Also, gO GIRRRL. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ YESS ASHLEY HONEY, DON'T LET THOSE REEKING HANDS TOUCH YOUR ARMS. WE DON'T LIKE CHEATING BASTARDS. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Oh, my, lord. Is Christian... An... Overprotective... Guy? AHHHHH, MY WATTPADIAN SENSES ARE TINGLINGG. Chapter 9: I understand Trish, but honestly, I'd find it hard to even talk about it. Not to mention, Ashley's school life seems pretty messed up already. I definitely wouldn't be the type to poke into her business, especially considering all the other factors. Also. May Lily burn in a trash can, wrapped in rip-off satin ribbins (which are actually plastic), thrown into a pit of fire :D Chapter 10: Christian's confidence is everything lol. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------OHHHH MYYY LOOOORDDDDD DID- DID ASHLEY REALLY JUST? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOO GET YOUR- oH My LOrD. Chapter 11: I'm surprised Christian can tell she was having a panic attack. I don't even know what to say. Actually, I wonder how Ashley could even get unto a car in the first place. Chapter 12: SO that's why Christian knows. OHHH. Poor guy :C. Also, fibbling's a nice word. Chapter 13: Ashley's talking habits are adorable lol. The story's pretty realistic too :O. Chapter 14: She's going to get drunk isn't she? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yes, she's drunk, and wow; she's witty. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOOKS LIKE IT'S NOT A RAPE STORYYY YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Chapter 15: My personal opinion, but I'm getting put off by the "we just wanna help you." Some people probably like that, but I don't really like having noses in my business lol. Chapter 16: YESS CHRISSLEEYYYY. I'm gonna stop here lol. My eyes are screaming from pain :__D So, I'm not double-checking ;D

    Reveal Spoiler
    4yr
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    oyslyness

    Hey guysssssssss it's me again.  I hope you've all been goooooood and I hope you are all staying safe out there!!!!! I thought of something a couple of days ago and I want all your thoughts on this. I'm thinking of making 'Cloven (Broken) 2'!!!!!! What y'all think???? The story of Ashley and Christian continues.  More set backs More fights More lies More breaking moments New enemies and new loses Can the love they have for each other withstand and surpass all? Is their love strong enough? Is it the real cause of their downfall or was it just an highschool fling all along? Stay tuned and find out more in Cloven(Broken)2 So comment away!!!! And let me know if their story should have a part two. Your comments will determine their future!!!!

    3yr
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    Glenstonx

    Hi author, I read your work, and it was somehow relatable and it was sad, at some point. I was amazed that you can make a story like this, I hope the Mc can find its happiness soon, please make a good ending for this one, I hope you would. Regards, Glenstonx

    4yr
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    rydertheking

    A great read! I will say, seeing how much problems Trish has in her life and how she is moving forward is really empowering! The only thing i'll give advice on is that you re-read what you had written and edit it so that it is much more clearer to read. If you do that then in no time, you'll have a great book! ^_^ from ryder

    4yr
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    tessalovesbooks

    it has been a while since I've read a book like this. But reading this book reminded me that they are people like Ashley out there who are facing what's she facing or even worse. The book is so relatable and I love it for that. You guys should totally read this.

    3yr
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    book_struck

    Hi. I love this book! I love the way the author uses relatable in the book. I also like the way Trish and Christian try and help Ashley. I can't wait for the next update. Keep it up!!!!

    4yr
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    veronica_nunoo

    Herr author u are the best. But when I was reading I realized that I have really read this story somewhere actually on this same app just that there were some twists in it but it was the same and it's titled My Mission. But I really loved it . Thanks for this story . Hope you see slot of your books

    3yr
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    DARK_NIGHT

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    3yr
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    popsbooksup

    I love this book!!!! Normally I don't read this kind of books but I'm very happy I stumbled upon this one. The plot is amazing even though a little bit fast, editing is needed and although it has a tragic ending, it's still good. This is definitely a five star book

    3yr
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    Lua_Kai

    A very enjoyable read. I find the characters to be super relatable and well written. There are some minor mistakes here and there but the story makes up for it.

    3yr
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    Primate

    Writing Quality: Goop quality. No noticeable error that could affect the flow of the story. 5/5 Updating Stability: Can't complain much about this since. Knowing the intense stress that comes with writing, I commend the author. 5/5 Story Development: The story is about the Ahley, who woke became heaetbroken after catching her boyfriend with someone else. Right from the prologue, the game progresses in a great way. No deviation from the plot. 5/5 Character Design: The characters are well planned out and designed. Especially that of Ashley. Well made. 5/5 World Background: The world is well built. It's based on romance fantasy. Overall: A well written novel. 5/5

    3yr
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    Crazy_Cronie_1

    This is a great read. I just wanted to read something for passing my time but stumbled upon this hidden gem. The personality of the characters, the drama, the plot everything is awesome!

    3yr
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    SacredDream

    I like writing genuine reviews with bits of criticism, so here I am. The only issue is the language, it's not a big issue but some things could be change, best is to avoid he said, she said, he asked and use an action to make that matter when two people talk. Besides that, I enjoyed it very much, the story felt fluid, it was enjoyable to read, the word usage was that of an everyday use so not something beyond comprehension. Tenses in some places were out of place but after getting a little further made more sense, the author is a little quirky and energetic. Correct some commas because there is nothing bad with the story and characters! Even though I am not into romances, this was quite a nice breeze of air.

    3yr
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    JustLetMeSleep

    This novel, usually I don't like the drama and this has some stereotypes but it is a bit close to real life, and its hilarious that I actually have a sister named Ashley and I'm her older brother, all in all this novel is going in my library, good job author gonna expect greater things in your next written work.

    3yr
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    tessalovesbooks

    Just want to say thank you author for this book. Even though I didn't like how it ended, I'm still satisfied that I read a book like this.[img=recommend]

    3yr
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    crazyyy_froggg

    Finally done with this book!!!!! I can't believe this book has actually ended!!! I loved the ending although I wished some certain things didn't happen (not to be a spoiler) but this is def one of my best reads. Just need some editing and I'm sure this book will go far. Thanks for this awesome book author!!! can't wait to read your next upcoming books!

    3yr
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    ILLYAchan

    It's been a while since I read a story with this kind of genre since my library is piled up by fantasy novels but I like this anyway! It's heartbreaking to see the problems piling up the mc and It's intriguing to know how the female lead and male lead relationship will go through while having her problems. I'll continue reading! Anyway, the novel is nice and good overall that keeps the reader interested as the story goes on. Keep it up author!

    3yr
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    docaqui
    LV 11 Badge

    Let me say this straight.. THIS. IS. AWE. SOME. ma, first chapter already has the suspense and the drama.. I really love this. the author is awesome when writing this. this is an awesome book

    3yr
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    Ana_musings

    Apart from a few grammatical errors, the story is good. If you edit and proofread the text, it would make all the difference. A **** romance is a good accompanient when you are trying to get rid of the day's fatigue. Hence, I would request you to have it re-checked and you are good to go.

    3yr
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    Jo_J
    LV 13 Badge

    Very interesting story from the beginnig! The plot is captivating, the characters expressive. You're doing well! Wish you endless inspiration and a lot of great ideas! **. I just don't like wording "fix her" (in synopsis) We can fix a dishwasher, washing machine, etc., but not a human being.

    3yr
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    Author oyslyness