I received such a consultation from Satou-san, and on the way back from the cafe. The two of us, while chatting away, headed towards the dormitory.
"This morning it piled up quite a bit but it seems from tomorrow onwards, it will be snowing even more".
Receiving such words from Satou-san, I looked around at the scenery surrounding me. Even though it had started to melt slightly, there were still snow remnants scattered about. If this continues, it might even be snowing all year round.
Ahh---so it's snow. Speaking of which, it was about two years back. I pretended that some muddy snow was chocolate kakigori and stuffed it into my mouth. Nostalgically remembering those old memories, I recalled that. For some reason, I felt that was something from a long time ago.
"I wonder what was so enjoyable about doing something like that".
"Ehh?".
"Sorry, sorry. I was just talking to myself. Sorry about that".
Perhaps it's because the events of yesterday happened, but I always end up remembering that. And as I did, Satou-san's expression changed into a slightly hard one. I had thought it was because I had been talking to myself, but that didn't seem to be the case.
"The thing is, I wasn't able to say it earlier but there's one more thing I want to ask you".
"You've already started? So, don't hesitate to consult me".
I struck my chest with a 'don' and answered her like that.
"Thank you, Karuizawa-san. Umm, well, I'm happy I got to go on a date but.....".
Perhaps she's harboring some anxieties towards her important date, but Satou-san continued.
"Truth is, this is the first date I've ever gone on in my life....so, I don't know what I should do"
"You've never gone out with another boy before?".
Satou-san who looked embarrassed. Well, from the flow of our conversation, I did have a feeling that was the case but.....
I thought a modern, trendy girl like Satou-san would have done it earlier so that was surprising.
"I'm only telling this because it's you, Karuizawa-san, ok? Soon I'll be a 2nd year high schooler and if I still haven't gone on a date, if I told anyone else I'd definitely be made fun of. That I'm too slow. As expected, Karuizawa-san thinks so too?".
"I-I guess so. You're a bit too slow. But doesn't it only mean that you haven't found someone you really liked? It can also mean that you're treasuring yourself".
"It makes me happy you'd say that".
While deceiving her like that, I followed up. Not to Satou-san but to myself.
"And you see? I think I'd be too nervous and won't be able to properly hold things. That's why including Karuizawa-san and Hirata-kun....I was thinkig if we could have a double date. To make sure things go well with me and Ayanokouji-kun, I want you to assist me!".
She requested me like that. Not able to comprehend the contents of the proposal, for a moment, I was thrown into confusion.
"D-Double date? A-Assist?"
"I should have really said this sooner, right? It's after I had various reservations about it".
Satou-san who apologizes with a sorry expression. Reservations like that end after a few minutes anyways so it's not a big problem. The important thing is, to me, in other words, an existence without romantic experience, she's requesting the role of Cupid in love. I wonder if something as absurd as this could even be.
"Is it.....impossible?".
"That's---".
Undoubtedly, I should decline. With the shallow knowledge I possess, mistakes will definitely be exposed. Ahh but, since this is also her first date for Satou-san maybe I can deceive her? Should I go formal here and pleasantly acquiesce?
"As I thought, you'd rather spend Christmas alone with Hirata-kun, right?".
"Ehh?".
As I fretted over what to do, Satou-san again made an anxious face. I see. If it's ordinary lovers, a lot of them would be likely to spend tomorrow and the day after tomorrow together. If it were the usual me, I would have been able to discern that fact properly but my head was full of thoughts about the closing ceremony.
"Like Karuizawa-san and Hirata-kun, I also want to become an ideal couple".
Looking at it from the perspective of Satou-san who thinks I'm smoothly sailing through school life, this sort of request is neither strange nor distorted. But my heart was bothered. It doesn't have anything to do with Kiyotaka. It's not like I ever liked Yousuke-kun. And it's not like we were truly going out. A false couple.
But, as long as we continue to be a false couple. Neither me nor Yousuke-kun will be able to find true love.
That fact bothered me. Kiyotaka too, will never see me as someone of the opposite sex. And besides, I wonder if someone steeped in lies like me could even be of help to Satou-san.
"That sort of thing is, a bit.....".
After thinking about it, I did think about declining, but I decided to hold my ground. Ever since a while back, the existence of Kiyotaka that periodically passes through my head. If this continues to flicker on forever, it can't be good for my heart.
If so, I just have to make it so that it won't flicker like that anymore. For example, yes. If I bring Satou-san and Kiyotaka together, if I do that, there would no longer be the off-chance where my heart would be stolen away by Kiyotaka.
"L-Leave it to me. I'll do something about it".
"Really? Karuizawa-san!".
Happily taking my hand, Satou-san jumps up and down.....So she likes Kiyotaka that much. If that's the case, towards that first love, I need to genuinely cheer her on. Scraping up the melting snow lying around with the palm of my hand, I pushed it against my forehead.
Reflect, Reflect.
And just like that, the heat pent up in my head cooled down. If I've decided to genuinely cheer her on, at least I'll make sure the double date goes well. The me right now is not the me from the middle school period. I'm no longer the me who lost 3 years and embraced despair. And finally, I'm not the me after I had just enrolled in this school either. Using a high-pressure attitude to make contact with my classmates alone is not a great thing. Not being able to protect myself through any other means, I can't end up the same way as those bunch from my middle school period.
If she's suppressing her own embarrassment to ask for my cooperation, I need to earnestly face her, otherwise I won't be able to call myself a true friend to her. But if it becomes a double date, several issues will emerge. Right now the problem is whether or not Yousuke-kun is free. I need to quickly confirm that afterwards. On Christmas, it had been decided that we wouldn't meet. Since the fact that we were a couple had surpassed even our school year in becoming a rumor, appealing to our surroundings even more about our coupleness was no longer necessary.
In order not to waste each other's time, we had decided to slowly spend our Christmas.
If someone happened to ask, we went on a date in our rooms, there would be no problem if I just answered like that. Even if someone happened to see me outside alone, I can simply say we were planning on meeting at night in order to end the story. That's why Yousuke-kun may already have planned out his own schedule.
"Umm hey, I'd like to tell Ayanokouji-kun that we coincidentally met up with Karuizawa-san and the others though".
As I was going over several plans inside my head, I was requested that additionally.
"So you are against making it a double date from the very beginning?".
"Somehow, I guess. Is it no good?".
"Ahh--, umm......".
Of course it's not like it's no good. If that is what Satou-san is hoping for, that too is fine. But after having thought it over a little while, I immediately made my conclusion.
"Let's not do that. It might be better to honestly tell him you'd like to have a double date".
"Is that, so. I wonder if he'd dislike it?".
It seems Satou-san's assessed that after hearing it, Kiyotaka might dislike it.
"If he finds out later that it was set up, that's more likely to make him dislike it though?".
"I see.....".
"Satou-san's the one who decides that though".
I said that to her just in case. Let's do this! I cannot force her like that.
Satou-san seems to be troubled but if you ask me, that's a mistake. There's no way that Kiyotaka wouldn't notice the strategy we set up. I don't know what stage he'll realize it at, but sooner or later, he will realize that it's a set up. But I'm strongly pointing that out because naturally right now, it won't give rise to anything but a sense of discomfort.
Let's stop because Kiyotaka is surprisingly sharp? Saying it like that would clearly be unnatural. Kiyotaka and I have no connection to each other. That is what's recognized by everyone else including our classmates.
But just because of that I can't say too that the double date is a bad thing. Because I don't have such knowledge.
If I ended up looking it up afterwards and found out that 'A double date is ideal for beginners" written in an article, I would also be left responsible. The correct answer would be to have Satou-san make the judgment.
"On that day, would you like to meet up with a natural flow? Yep, that's good".
The direction I was advocating for did not reach her, since Satou-san hoped for a strategy to hide the double date.
"If Satou-san is fine with that, then I don't mind though".
That's why I honestly said so. All that's left now is to make sure he doesn't find out we're cooperating. Since it's come to this, I might as well test out how far I can deceive that Kiyotaka.
"Ahh, if Hirata-kun happens to turn down the double date, then I'm sorry".
Saying that firmly ahead of time, we had arrived back at the dormitory.