Traumas led to accomplishments, and a parallel connection existed between the blood on his hands and his happiness. Khan had found himself linking those terrible events and actions to advantages and positive feelings in the past. He had hoped that his increasing power would have made him escape that trend, but his success with the mental exercises proved that he wasn't quite there yet.
Khan spent the rest of the flight in a daze. The world ran through his vision, but he barely saw it. He struggled to believe that a single person could experience such beauty and pain at the same time.
His love for Liiza and affection for his Niqols friends existed with his desperation and newfound disgust toward the Global Army. His talent in the ways of mana, fast growth, and achievement moved forward as he amassed traumas in his mind.