Chapter 1: 1- Beginning
I stare out the window lost in every way possible. Times like these I wish someone would call or scream out my name so I would jump back to reality and not be so stuck in my mind. The thing is this is the real world, not some story where that stuff happens. Although I bet if I was in a story someone would notice me. I'd have the romance I so longed for like the ones I read about every single time. Sadly that's not the case. I'm not the type of girl that would think that love only existed in books or whatever but I do wish love wouldn't take so freaking long to come my way. I also wished I didn't have all this god damn trust issues and all these scars from my past and day to day life. I guess that's all I can do these days, wish. As I come back to reality I decided to check my phone for the 60th time today. My phone was a white Samsung note 3 with a pink flower case. Just like all the times, I checked my phone today there wasn't a single message. I sighed, at least someone could say hi once for a change.
I used to have so many friends but now I barely had any. I mean what's the sense of growing up or getting older if your happiness continues to fade away by the minute. I know there is a saying that states it's better to have one good friend than to have a hundred fake ones or however the saying goes but at least the hundred fake ones can keep you entertained.
I move towards my grey full length mirror with diamonds around it and stare at myself. What was I missing? What did I need to add to my life to be happy?
Who am I kidding, I know the problem or problems I was challenged with. While I had a beautiful face with dark chocolate almond shape eyes that usually held sadness that people don't pay attention to with bushy eyebrows that doesn't make the full arch. A round almost oval face that held thin upper lips, fat cheeks and an upturned nose and a pixie haircut to my dark brown hair. As I brought my eyes down to the rest of my body all I see is imperfection, flaws after flaws. Although I try to be this self-confident person, sometimes I just can't do it. Especially when I'm reminded every day of my life that I'm far from being normal.
I'm tired of being the girl that it takes a lot to love her, most of all I'm tired of being the girl that everyone can use because she's nice so she'll do whatever. People act like they care about my disability but they don't. I'm always a hopeful person but when the one person that's supposed to love you the hardest tells you every day that no one will love you or want children with 'someone like you' how do you expect to keep up my hope or faith. I guess everyone has their story and this is mine.
Sigh I got lost in my thoughts again as always. I needed to create an action plan. One where I can be occupied and actually do something with myself. I took out my black notebook and started scribbling down ideas.
• Read books
• Start a YouTube channel talking about those books
• Write more poetry
• Also do poetry on my channel
• Talk to more people (Socialize)
That should be enough to keep me occupied for now especially the reading part. Every time I start to read I get so lost in the book that I forget everything else that's going on in my life. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but at least I get joy from it so I guess it's good. I check my phone again but this time I was staring at the time. It was 7 pm. Wow! I didn't even realize it was that late. I guess I should be heading to bed now.
I put my notebook away and lay on my blue sheets taking in the softness of my pillow snuggling under my comforter making myself warm as I drift off to sleep with determination on my mind.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone