Chapter 2: The search for answers
Jakes's phone buzzed on the nightstand, piercing the silence of his small apartment. The sun was barely up, casting a soft, gray light across the room. He reached for it, hoping to see Jules name, but instead, it was a reminder for His morning therapy appointment. he stared at the notification, a mix of relief and dread building in his stomach. Therapy was supposed to help—his therapist, Dr. Lane, had said as much. But sometimes the sessions felt like opening wounds he wasn't sure would ever heal. Sliding out of bed, he took his time getting ready, moving slowly as if dragging himself through quicksand. The mirror caught his eye, and he stopped, taking in his reflection. he felt almost like a stranger, like someone he could never quite understand. His brown eyes looked back at him, shadowed by a sleepless night, his hair tangled and wild from tossing and turning.
When he finally made it to Dr. Lane's office, Jake sank into the chair across from his therapist, crossing his arms protectively. "Rough night?" Dr. Lane's voice was gentle, her eyes kind but perceptive. Jake shrugged. "I don't know. Sometimes it feels like… like there's too much in my head. It's like my thoughts and feelings are all twisted up, and I don't even know where they start or end."
Dr. Lane nodded. "That makes sense. You've mentioned before how things can feel overwhelming, almost like the emotions have a life of their own." Jake's mind flashed back to the bus ride, to the woman who told him to say things out loud. he wasn't sure why, but he felt compelled to share it.
"There was this woman on the bus last night," Jake started, his voice quiet. "he said that saying things out loud can help… that sometimes it's all noise in my head because I don't face it. But what am I supposed to face?" he sounded more frustrated than he intended. "Maybe she was onto something," Dr. Lane suggested, a gentle encouragement in her tone. "What would you say if you were speaking to yourself, just for a moment?" Jake looked away, biting his lip. The words felt strange and foreign on his tongue, but he whispered, almost to himself, "I feel… lost. Like I don't know who I am, or who I'm supposed to be." Dr. Lane leaned forward slightly. "That's a powerful realization, Jake. The feelings of uncertainty and lack of identity are common for people with borderline personality disorder. But recognizing that feeling is a step forward. It's the start of understanding, even if it doesn't feel like it yet." Jake clenched her fists in his lap, trying to resist the impulse to brush it off. Instead, he allowed himself to sit with that uncomfortable truth for a moment. "Sometimes, I feel like people get tired of me. Like I'm… too much." His voice broke slightly. he quickly looked down, embarrassed by the vulnerability that crept out unguarded.
Dr. Lane's expression softened. "That feeling of being 'too much'—it's part of the fear of abandonment, a fear that people with BPD often carry. But that doesn't make you unworthy of love or acceptance, Jake. It just means the path might look different for you."
Jake swallowed hard, not sure if he believed his therapist's words, but wanting to. he wanted so badly to believe that maybe, just maybe, he wasn't as broken as he felt.
As the session ended, Jake felt an unexpected lightness in his chest—a flicker of hope. Walking out of the office, he let himself imagine a future where the pieces of his life might someday fit together, where the noise in his head might finally quiet down.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone