Chapter 158: ROB 3
Let's see what the next person will be like. This time I will be using a different approach to make this more fun.
The next customer's circumstances were a bit different. The young man worked at a decent job in a high-rise building until Truck-Kun decided he didn't want to wait for him to come down. After a short flight, he crashed his vehicle straight into his waiting customer's office. It just so happened that not long after, a plane passed by and decided to make Truck-Kun his role model and copied him with the tower right next to it.
What happened after was two things, a second plane wondered where its target was and the flying truck became the world's greatest mystery, some even created a religion around it, calling it God or the son of God, not that they are completely wrong there.
I'm so proud of it, not even a month old and yet it did things that even the Rickest Rick felt beneath him, I should give it a raise or at the very least give it some better motor oil.
The confused man suddenly appeared in the white space but after a few seconds of calming down, decided to ignore the surroundings and focus on the more important things.
"Why the fuck was there a Truck in front of my Window?! I was hundreds of meters above the ground!"
Before he could ponder on the fact that he was unnaturally calm about his death and only cared about the strange nature of it, a voice brought him out of his thoughts.
"Next"
"What?"
Only now did he take notice of the endless white space, his body less form, and the desk in the distance that was stacked with papers and documents, and if that wasn't strange enough, on the desk sat Morgan Freeman.
"I said next!" the voice shouted in an un-Morgan-Freeman-like way but he still obeyed and approached.
"Luca Smith, I will decide your afterlife. These documents hold records of anything you did in your life, please check them all and sign every paper, if everything is in order we can start making plans for your afterlife"
Dumbfounded, he looked at all the papers on the desk. How could his entire life be summarized in just a few hundred papers?
After taking the first page, he almost choked to death or whatever came after death.
[Total time alive: 26 years 22 days
Amount of water consumed: 24.397 Litres
Amount of federal crimes committed: 11
Amount of words spoken: 72.841.337
Time spent playing video games: 9.396 hours
Total time spent having sex: 4 hours 6 minutes
Total time spent watching others having sex: 931 hours
Amount of curse words spoken: 70.901
Most notable accomplishment: N/A
Most horrible thing ever done: pissed in your teacher's tea can]
No privacy at all and this was just the first page, he didn't even want to know what was written on the other hundreds, just this one made him feel like his life was worthless.
"Do I really have to read them all, can't I just say that I agree with all of them and move on to my afterlife?" he asked weakly. He really didn't want to read the other papers, he felt that even if he got a second life, he might just kill himself at the first chance.
"You can but if there are any mistakes it could affect your afterlife"
After a bit of hesitation, he agreed.
"Then please just sign here that you agree with all the things written on the papers"
The moment he signed, all the papers on the desk disappeared and the Morgan Freeman lookalike smiled at him.
"Then let's get started.
With your previous life, you can only either make three wishes or three spins"
"I will take the wishes" his previous mood instantly recovered after hearing he could get wishes from God, not even bothering to listen to the rest of the explanation.
"Are you sure? Once selected, you can't change your mind"
"I'm sure. Only an idiot would choose uncertainty."
"Don't regret it"
Somehow, he was suddenly getting a bad feeling about his choice.
"Write your wishes on this paper and I will tell you if they are in the parameter"
After getting handed a blank paper, the dead soul started writing his wildest fantasies on the paper, completely oblivious to the gloating in the being before him.
Taking back the paper, the being instantly crossed out the first wish.
"A System with a status, inventory, quest, shop, relationship, and world travel function? You must suck at math, that's seven wishes"
"No no, they are all part of the system, so they count as one wish" he was clearly unwilling to give up
"That's for me to decide, not you, and I say it is seven separate wishes" sadly for the soul, it held no power here
"Ok, then what would just a system do in your opinion?"
"Oh, it can be anything from measuring your dick to telling you how small your brain is, there is nothing that says a system has to show existential parameters"
Luca was starting to get angry but he knew that lashing out at this being would do him no favor, no matter how much it insulted him and how little it decided to help him get a better perk for his next life.
This continued for a while, one side wrote a wish down, while the other dismantled it with logic that would take any reincarnator apart and make them start worshipping their ROB for how forthcoming he was.
"So, a gamer system with a template gacha and function. That's three wishes but it has too much potential, if you are willing to lower your expectations more, I can make this work"
"You want me to lower them even more?! I've had enough, if I ever get the chance, I will report you to other ROBs"
"Go for it, champ. Anyway, a system that shows your status and slightly accelerates your growth, one chance to draw a template, and one chance to integrate the template into yourself. Do you want to draw the template now?"
Luca was seething with anger but still nodded to which a wheel appeared in front of him.
"Whenever you're ready"
Deciding to ignore the asshole, he spun the wheel with all his strength, not that it mattered since it was going to spin like crazy even if he just tapped at it.
After what felt like an eternity for the young soul, the wheel stopped at a familiar name that made his breathing slightly ragged, if that was even possible in soul form.
[Invisible Woman]
"FUCK YEAH" Although the template was nothing compared to others he saw on the wheel, he was happy that the ROB didn't sabotage the draw and gave him the template of a background character.
"Can I choose my appearance and word?"
"What do you think? Since you chose the 'stable' wishing route, you don't get to decide where you will go, as for your appearance, we will go there in a moment"
Another Wheel appeared and The ROB spun it without any hesitation or consideration of where the soul might end up.
Finally, the Wheel stopped at the worst possible world.
[Warhammer 40K]
"NOOOO!!! YOU CHEATED, I'M SURE OF IT!"
"I admit I was tempted to teach you a little lesson, luckily for you, I didn't, seeing the result though, I might even say unluckily for you. Anyway, have fun"
"Wait, what about my appearance?"
"Oh, right. Those who chose the wishes will have less freedom in changing their appearance but I will allow it as long as it doesn't involve making your dick bigger, though I don't see why you should care about that"
"Why, because I'm already handsome?"
"The exact opposite actually. As the template increases, your body will change and you will slowly take on the appearance of your Template."
"WHAT?! This isn't what you promised!"
"I didn't promise anything, in fact, I'm already being generous by not letting the Template affect your mind and reform it until you're really Susan Storm. Now get lost you brat"
Before the soul could get angry and throw another temper tantrum, a portal appeared behind it and sucked it in. Before the portal closed it still heard the mocking voice that would haunt him for the rest of his… her second life.
"Should have chosen the Wheel"
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