Chapter 12: TWELVE
Elizabeth stopped.
She felt cool water rolling down her from her head and over her lips. There was a puddle of water forming around her bare feet.
She looked down to her hands. Water rolled along the diamond of her ring.
'Happier?'
Was that thought really hers? She wondered, a pain starting in her chest.
It was a familiar pain she felt every time she looked at Benjamin. Every time she slept in his cold bed. Every time she put on her makeup and dressed her best for him. Every time he called her name. Every time he looked at her.
And every time she knew he was in the arms of another.
Snapping, she tore her ring off her finger and threw it to the ground.
What sort of marriage was this, and what sort of person was she to be in it? Did she not show her affection enough? Was she the one lacking? Was not doing enough to keep him? Whose fault was it that things were this way? Could she even blame anyone?
Could she?
She placed the back of her hand against her shaking lips. She tried to block the whimpers and muffled sobs by clenching her jaw, but it wasn't enough. The tears were starting.
What was she even supposed to do?
Knock! Knock!
"Elizabeth?" There was a muffled voice coming from the doors.
She turned slowly to the doors. "Go away, Louise!" Tears rolled down her cheek, and she quickly whipped it away with her hands.
"It's not Louise."
She recognized the deep timber of Nickolas's voice. "Go away, Nickolas!"
"Please open the door. I just want to speak to you, Elizabeth."
She stood still sniffling and aggressively wiping away tears. "I said go away!"
"Elizabeth, please!" The concern was powerful in his voice. "I just want a moment of your time!"
She exhaled with trembling lips and trudged to the doors.
Click!
She cracked the door, placing her head through the small crack. "Please leave, Nickolas. I don't wish to speak to anyone. Tell Louise the same. I would like both of you to leave my property."
"Louise already left."
"Well, if she told you to talk to me, this much is good enough for a talk. Leave my estate now." She tried to push the door closed on him but he stuck his foot into the door.
"Elizabeth." He peered at her. "Please let me explain."
She moved her hands from the door and tossed them around in aggressive gestures. "I don't want to hear it right now, Nickolas! I just want you to leave!" She tightly grimaced, trying to push down the tears that wanted to resurface.
In her moment of weakness, he pushed open the doors and forced his way in.
"Nickolas! I said I want you to leave!"
"Elizabeth." He shut the door behind him. "Please. Let's just talk."
She stepped back, folding her arms over chest, soggy clothes still dripping. "What? What is it?"
"I just want to clear things up, Elizabeth." His brows furrowed. "Louise did not come here to ask you for money."
"Oh, please Nickolas." Elizabeth scoffed, shaking her head.
"It was my idea." He stepped towards her. "She really was coming to visit you, and I suggested that she ask you for money."
"Stop trying to lie to me, Nickolas." She shook her head.
"No, I'm telling the truth, Elizabeth. Louise didn't even want to ask you. She didn't want to look like she was looking for handouts. But I kept urging her to because they're in a bad situation, Elizabeth. They truly need the money, and they have nowhere else to go."
Elizabeth sighed, looking away. "Nickolas, please."
"You know she would never ask this of you if she really didn't need it. You know that." He peered so intensely, that had caused her to defensively fidget.
"Come on, Elizabeth," he continued speaking, firm with resolve. "You know how much Louise cares for you. Her and my feelings for you are real. You still mean so much to us, and that has never changed." He reached out to gently touch her shoulder. "You have to do this for her. You know she would do the same for you. You know---."
She shook his hand off. "---I know!" she conceded with a shout. "I know, Nickolas." She unfolded her arms, gesturing with another sigh. "But 750 thousand dollars?" Her eyes grew wide as she met his. "That's expensive. I don't know if I can afford to do something like that."
"Elizabeth, you're married to one of the richest men in this city," he jeered.
"I know that I am." She glanced at her ring on the floor, and stiffened. "For heaven's sake I know, Nickolas. It's just...it's a lot, and I don't know, I have to think about it."
"You know she needs help right now. They pulled out some loans with some very dangerous people. I'm talking people who have ties with the mob."
"I get it, Nickolas, I do. But you can't just expect me to give you two 750 thousand dollars! Ben would---."
"---Benjamin Raynes would what?" He harshly cut through. "According to your servants and maids, the man left to go halfway across the country for what they claim is another couple of months straight."
"E-Excuse me?" She blinked.
"Don't play dumb, Elizabeth!" He raised his voice. "They say you are running the Raynes Estate and finances. You are the one who's managing his affairs and work while he frolics around the country on 'business' trips. Another one of your maids told me you might as well be both Miss and Mister Raynes because you take responsibilities of both!"
"Enough!" She bellowed. "You are not going to talk to me that in my own home! I want you to get out and I don't want to hear anything from you or Louise after this!"
"Elizabeth." He stepped closer to her but she stepped back. "Why won't you help Louise? Please, just tell me. Is there something else going on that's making you like this? Because I know this isn't like you."
"I said, get out! You are not going to harass me about this! I want you leave right now!'
"Elizabeth."
"Leave!"
Like bow and arrow being drawn, they were at a tight standstill.
"Just leave, Nickolas," she said again in a weak whisper.
He sighed, and paced to the doors.
Her eyes followed him, and weakened ever further when he stopped a foot short of the handles.
He turned his backside to the doors. "You know, I wasn't going to come with Louise. But I wanted to see you." He was staring deeply at her. "I wanted to believe you were still someone I knew. But I was wrong. You're different now. Before you smiled a lot, talked a lot, wanted to do a lot, and now you're...I don't know."
He continued speaking, his saddened gaze burning into her. "You said Benjamin is treating you right, but then why do you have such a hurt look in your eyes? It's like you're hurting, and you thought we could soothe those wounds. But, we can't. We can't be there for you if you're not going to be there for us---."
"Stop it! Just stop it! Stop speaking on what you don't know---!" She broke down in tears. "You don't know anything...." Her voice trailed off into broken sobs as she crumbled down to the floor.
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