Chapter 13: Stay
Turns out the tongue thing was pretty big deal.
Sitting on the couch beside Ben, her laptop in her lap, Gwen stared at the screen, red faced. She was pretty sure she was positively glowing. Judging by the heat rolling of Ben, he wasn't doing much better. She wasn't quite ready to look at him though.
After getting soundly laughed at by Anna and Lizzie, Ben and Gwen had, upon returning to her house, gone in search of what this 'tongue thing' was all about. It was a matter of principle at that point.
In hindsight, is should really have been obvious.
Eeewl! Gwen thought, shuddering slightly. Why would anyone want to do that?! It sounds super gross! It was bad enough when he licked me, why would I want his tongue in my mouth?! Kissing him is weird enough already!
And great, but that was beside the point. Steeling herself, she glanced over at Ben, expecting to find the same horrified expression on his face. He was blushing, as she already suspected, but… not horrified. Not grossed out. He was looking at the screen intently, scrolling down the page, reading (that was a shock in and of itself), before fixing his gaze on her, meeting her eyes before his own slipped to her lips. And stayed there. She felt her heart skip a beat. And then a few more.
She'd seen that look in his eyes too often. She knew exactly what it meant.
"Don't even think about it, Tennyson!" She snapped at him, and darn, that had sounded way more like a squeak than a threat. Ben quickly averted his eyes, nervously clearing his throat.
"I wasn't. Totally wasn't." The boy sounded parched and she felt her own throat dry up as a result, because he sounded positively husky and that spelled so much trouble for her. A moment of silence passed before he caved. "I mean, maybe I was, just a little bit-"
"Ben!"
He held up his hands defensively. "You can't blame me, dweeb!"
"I can and I will, doofus!"
"How bad can it really be if so many people like it-"
"You are not putting your tongue in my mouth!" She yelled, thankful that her parents were taking an evening stroll before dinner. "We're way too young to be doing anything on this page!"
"Uhm, yeah, that's the thing..." Ben grinned, looking extremely sheepish, before pointing to the screen. He was really glowing this time.
Gwen glanced, noticing that Ben had scrolled further down the page earlier when reading. She'd been too flabbergasted to notice where to though. A list of Erogenous zones…? Gwen was pretty sure she really shouldn't be reading this, and her parents would probably take her laptop away if they knew she was. She should stop… but the doofus had already read it, and no way was she chickening out when he hadn't.
So she read the first few on the list, noticing quickly that it was moving from north to south on the human body. She slammed the computer shut when they reached waist height, but she was glowing again none-the-less. Beside her, Ben glowed too, but he was smirking. "I take it we're too young for that too?" He asked, cheekily and Gwen hid her face in her hands in mortification, the list running laps in her head. A list of places she darn well knew.
Neck, jaw, ears, sides of the chest, belly, lower back- Gwen groaned. She hadn't known those things were off limits! She'd just been running with whatever comforted Ben! Same for him! She wanted to groan in frustration at another thing in her life getting away from her faster than she could keep up. Would it mind slowing down a little?!
Peeking through her fingers, she looked at Ben, and he quickly averted his eyes from her, blushing as well, rubbing the back of his head. Gwen swallowed, thinking, uncaring that he noticed her staring and started squirming a little.
At the beginning of summer, the idea of touching him at all had been repulsive. He was the gross doofus after all. But, over the course of their journey, she'd learned to appreciate it. A pat on the shoulder for a job well done, a teasing hair ruffle, a tickle fight here and there.
A hug when she was overjoyed to see him safe.
And after… after Xenon, she'd learned that there were more ways to give comfort. A hand run through hair, a kiss to the cheek, arms around her that reminded her that not every constricting feeling was a death sentence. As far as they'd come over their journey, before Xenon, those things would've been nigh unthinkable.
As had kissing been. As had been all the affectionate touches they shared as often as they could get away with it. And now she not only accepted them, but craved them. It should've made no sense. It should've been unthinkable. It wasn't. And it all that could become natural, then maybe... just maybe...
She put the laptop away and slowly crawled over to Ben. He tensed, but did not fight her as she tentatively moved to sit astride his lap, snaking her arms around his shoulders. In turn, Ben snaked one arm around her waist while the other rested its hand on her side.
She looked down into his eyes. His pupils were wide and his breathing shallow. She could almost hear his heartbeat, and she knew there was an equal amount of excitement and panic in him; wanting something and being prepared for it were two different things after all. He looked back at her though, and for long moments they just stared at each other. She saw him flush an even deeper crimson and felt the heat creep up her own neck again.
"...do you come here often?" He offered, grinning tentatively.
Gwen swallowed, returning the grin in an effort to fight down her nerves. "Yeah, you might be surprised to learn that I live here."
He snickered before an awkward silence descended on them again. Playing with the hem off her shirt, he hesitantly spoke up again. "Sooo, are we doing this or are we just cuddling…?"
"Don't rush me!" She snapped, embarrassed. A distant part of her brain had to laugh, because charging into a horde of Vilgax's drones was easier than this, and that really, really said a lot about her perspective these days.
"Okay, okay, take it easy, freak." Ben didn't say anything more, but he did move his hands to slip them under her shirt to brush over her waist, one hand moving to the front to trail a lazy circle around her bellybutton with his thumb. She shuddered, dropping her face in his hair.
"Figures. Can't be bothered to read your homework assignments, but the second you can use something against me, you're all over it." She bit her lip, moving her own arms around so she could run one hand through his hair in retaliation. He leaned up to press a lingering kiss against her throat and that sent lightning through her brain alright. She could feel him smirk against her skin.
"Consider it a compliment, dweeb. If it involves you, I immediately pay attention."
That level of smugness was a clear signal she needed to take him down a peg before his head exploded from his own ego. She needed that head after all. It had his lips.
Clenching her fist in his hair, she gently, but firmly, pulled him off her throat. In revenge, he raked his nails up her spine. She was glad she was already sitting, because she was pretty sure her legs would have long since given out had she been standing.
The cheeky little doofus was still smirking though. She'd show him what for…
Leaning down, she kissed him, firmly. She wanted to start this off slowly, going with what was familiar first, and he seemed to get that, as he followed her lead. She tilted her head, and he did the same, deepening the kiss and how the heck could the tongue thing be better than this? Probably mass delusion.
She felt him slowly open his mouth a little, lips sliding against hers, and she felt his breath mingle with hers as she did the same. Then, tentatively, she felt his tongue touch the tip of hers as he once again deepened the kiss and this time it wasn't like lightning running through her brain but like a whole star going supernova. She gasped, the sensation shooting through her entire body and she felt him tense beneath her, the hands on her clawing as they clenched and unclenched, trying desperately to draw her as close as possible and she could hear her heart pound in her ears-
In a whirl of movement she found herself flat on her back on the couch, distantly registering a flash of green and then a blur of blue and black that shot through the living room and into the garden, only realizing what was happening when she heard the front door fall shut. She had approximately two seconds before her parents would enter the living room. She quickly grabbed a pillow and threw it over her head, willing her heart-rate to slow down because the last thing she needed right now was a panic attack.
"Gwen? You awake?" Her father asked as she heard him approach, before he gently pried the pillow off her face. She mimed sluggishly opening her eyes, blinking up at him.
"Hi." She greeted, slightly breathless. She was hoping he wouldn't notice. Judging by the indulgent smile, he was buying it.
"We told you you shouldn't sleep under the pillow, pumpkin. You always get too hot." Gwen very nearly snorted. Yeah, she knew a thing or two about 'getting too hot' right now…
Hearing the sliding door to the garden move, she turned her head to see Ben walking in, looking red still. The sight of him sent a flash of heat through her, but she ignored it. Or tried to. She wasn't very succesful. Her father gave the boy a questioning glance and Ben grinned sheepishly. "Fell asleep in the sun. Little cooked. Not burned though." He sounded as out of breath as she was, and was looking slightly agitated. She wasn't sure if it was all because of the kiss...
Her father just shook his head at them both. "Survival instincts of a bunch of lemmings, the two of you. Say, Ben, have you packed your bags? Nat's getting started on dinner; we're taking you home after, remember?"
The boy's sheepish grin only widened in response and her father huffed out a laugh. Gwen could catch the slight tension in Ben's frame though, and how the grin didn't reach his eyes. She didn't know if it was because he didn't like being separated from her… or if he was afraid of what might happen when he was alone.
"I'll go do that now, uncle Frank." The boy said, making to move for the stairs, sounding breathless. Gwen stood up as he passed her.
"I'm going to make sure he doesn't forget anything-" she was stopped by her father's hand on her shoulder, though, and as Ben moved up the stairs. The boy didn't even seem to notice that she wasn't following, and that was a big red flag for Gwen. When she turned to her father, she felt ice form in her stomach at his expression, feeling her pulse race for another reason. Fighting down the rising sense of panic, she tried to keep the fear from showing in her expression. There was no way he could know what they'd been doing! And Ben had been way too far into the garden to have jumped off of her in the time it took for her dad to get to the living room (well, to their knowledge at least). It was impossible-
"Is Ben alright?" Her father asked instead, looking worried, and she immediately felt a wave of relief, heart-rate returning to some semblance of normality. Just as well, she was pretty sure it would've… gotten away from her, otherwise. Her father was still talking though, snapping her out of her thoughts. "He looks like a stiff breeze can blow him over, and he's usually not that far away from you, sleeping in a place you aren't always willing to follow." Ah, so her father had noticed something. In any other situation, she would've been impressed. Now, she was mostly just relieved at the plausible cover. And still worried.
"I think he's just nervous about going home." About me not being there for him. She finished mentally, and her father nodded, clearly getting the subtext.
"You don't think he'll..." her father glanced pointedly at his left hand, and Gwen shuddered.
"I… don't think so. He- he promised me he wouldn't." She was going to check up him soon, though. If she was this close to the edge, he likely was too. She wanted to get going, she needed to check-
Her father gave her a slightly uncomfortable look. "I hope he'll keep it." He only said, simply. Gwen felt her face morph into a determined glare.
"He better. I'm going to rip the darn thing off him and shove it up his butt if he doesn't."
Her father laughed, releasing her shoulder. "Atta girl. Go make sure he doesn't forget anything." She grinned at him, giving the man a quick hug, because really, it was heartening to know that he cared so much about Ben. It made her feel more secure in her and Ben's decision to seek their help, and she could show her appreciation for that for just a quick second-
She was pulled from her thoughts by a very faint crash upstairs. It didn't have to mean anything, the doofus had probably just dropped his bag and her father didn't seem to think anything of it, as he didn't even flinch.
She still shot out of his arms and up the stairs, finding the guest room quickly enough, rushing in and shutting the door behind her, turning to face her cousin, heart hammering. She felt quite frazzled herself, and not for the fun reasons. Ben had indeed dropped his full bag, clearly having packed hurriedly. He paced in the middle of the room, running a hand through his hair in agitation, every single movement of his small body tense. Gwen felt her stomach clench uncomfortably and her heart stutter nervously. Close to the edge, indeed.
Stepping forward from the door, Ben's head shot up as he noticed her, and he grinned, eyes too wide, waving off her concern with a shaky hand. She could see his breathing speeding up even as he tried to put her at ease. "I'm fine, I'm fine- just, just my heart-rate- it was already up and now I'm overthinking it- it'll go down in a bit, really-" It wasn't. It so obviously wasn't. If anything, with every word he seemed to lose himself further in it until he couldn't muster anymore.
When his knees gave out from under him, he fell on his butt, back pressed against the side of the bed, wasting no time to bury his face in his knees as he started to hyperventilate, hands at his sides, fingers clawing at the carpet. Gwen made to move another step forward, determined despite her own heart not feeling quite right in her chest-
The wind rustled through the leaves and she froze, blood turning to ice.
No... She thought with no small amount of despair. No, no no please not now! Not now! Her heart-rate spiked, a very distant part of her knowing full well that those very thoughts would only push her further along, but she couldn't stop them. Her breath turned into quick pants and she felt her limbs weakening quickly.
She caught herself on her hands and knees as she fell, breath coming in quick pants, mind desperately trying to break out of her panicked thoughts. She had to figure a way out, had to get to Ben, had to let him know that he was fine, that she was fine, that they were fine, but she couldn't get her breathing or heart to calm. She moved her head to look at him, hoping that the sight of him would be enough to snap her out of it, and found that he had done the same, emerald eyes meeting hers. She did not see reassurance, she did not see him beating his fears.
She saw guilt, so much guilt that he could drown in it, would drown in it. She did see him fight, though, fight to keep his hands at his sides, fight to keep his promise- his right hand latched onto the Omnitrix and he cradled his left hand to his chest, breaking eye contact to look down miserably at it, the guilt and fear still rolling off him in waves and he was fighting so hard but he couldn't do it alone-
She tried. She tried so hard. Tried to remember the things that gave her comfort, to take her mind to a better place so she could help- she couldn't do it. She tried to recall the feeling of his nails trailing along her spine, but it turned into the scraping of sharp teeth in her mind, just as his kisses turned into a wet gullet sucking her down, as his warm embrace into jaws clamping down, inescapable.
Her lips moved soundlessly, words failing in her panic and from her lack of air. Helplessly, she saw his hand inch down to his wrist, could already see his fingers tense, as if to claw, could see the helpless tears roll down his cheeks as he knew he was going to lose this battle and she couldn't help him why could she never help him when he really needed it-
...help... help!
"Ben!" She tried to yell, but all that came out was an airless gasp. Her arms lost their strength and she fell onto her side with a thud, but she couldn't look away. She had to reach him, she couldn't leave him alone, not again-
"Ben!" He heard her this time. "Help!" The word echoed in the deafening silence of the room, and she didn't know whether she shouted or whispered it, but the effect was instantaneous, as Ben pulled his hands apart, placing them on the floor beside his hips, gritting his teeth to stifle his gasps, even if his shoulders still shook.
He pushed himself forward and crawled over to her slowly on shaking limbs. It gave her strength, because if he was fighting, what excuse did she have? She forced herself up, and when he got to her, she pushed him onto his back and she crawled over him, arms wrapping around him tightly, pinning his arms to his sides. She buried her face in his chest and squeezed, trying to keep his arms where they were and to tell him that she was not letting go, she was not leaving him alone in this again, and if he had a problem with it, he could fight her for it.
And he fought. Oh, he did. His right arm even wrenched itself free, but instead of using it to try to claw for his other arm or to get her off of him, he wrapped it around her, his one armed hold as tight as hers, and she fought it too, for the same reason he did. Not to escape it, but to test its strength, to reassure herself of the tightness of that hold, to be anchored by that affection. For an arm so small, it was completely immovable.
She used to think that grandpa Max gave the best hugs. They were strong, warm, and all-encompassing; she always felt like the most important thing in the world when he pulled her to his large chest.
Ben's made her feel like she was the only thing in the world at all, everything else falling away for him until there was only her. She hoped, so much, that her own hugs measured up to that.
She didn't know how long they were entwined like that. It couldn't have been that long, as no one had yet come looking for them, but she still felt gutted when she finally relaxed her hold, weakly pushing herself into a sitting position. Ben looked as drained as she felt, like he'd missed a week of sleep in five minutes.
The boy sat up regardless. They were silent for a long moment before they leaned in. He reached up with one hand, cradling her cheek for one tender moment, before sliding it past her ear to tangle in her hair, pulling her in.
She felt his forehead rest against hers, the tips of their noses brushing, breath mingling, and she closed her eyes to the world, shutting out the sight of his tear-stained face, taking in the heat of him against her. The contact sent waves of reassurance through her tiny frame, easing out the shaky feeling in her bones like ironing creases out of fabric. She felt his other arm wrap around her lower back, and she allowed herself to be pulled into his lap. She in turn, reached up to cradle his head, adjusting to her slightly elevated position over him to tilt her head down, maintaining the contact, never opening her eyes.
They breathed in, both of them, the first normal breath they'd had in what felt like forever to her, and as she did she took him in with all her senses. The feel of his touch. The sight of him in her minds eye. The sound of his breathing, of his heartbeat. Even the smell of his cold sweat.
The taste of his lips as she gently brushed them, a kiss nothing like the passionate thing they'd shared downstairs, something that felt so long ago but could barely have been more than fifteen minutes. It was not a kiss for its own sake, but another effort to be as close as possible, and they broke it just as quickly to better press their foreheads together again, the familiarity soothing her far more than even his lips could.
Because yes, kissing the doofus was way better than it had a right to be, but this? This anchoring embrace, this brush of skin that told her, as it had for months, that she was safe, cared for, loved even? This gave her life.
She felt herself be tipped back until she was lying on the floor again, Ben moving up to hover over her. She didn't see any of it, but she felt his forehead on hers shift slightly and his breath tickle her lips where before it had been closer to her chin. She still cradled his head in her hands, shaggy hair running through her fingers, and she felt his hands leave her back, hearing them come to rest beside her, supporting him as he lay on her.
She felt him pull back slightly, and her eyes fluttered open to take him in. His eyes were red-rimmed, his skin shiny from the thin layer of cold sweat that covered them both while simultaneously looking drained. His hair, tangled in her fingers, looked even shaggier than usual, dead even by his standards.
Supporting himself on his elbows, his hands clenched beside her head, shaking not under the effort to keep himself aloft, she knew, but from residue adrenaline. Similarly, his jaw shook as his teeth grit and relaxed by intervals. He looked like a wreck. She doubted she was any better off.
But his eyes looked at her with a green fire that she knew was reflected in her own. He'd seen her look at her in so many ways, especially in the last few months. Hate, anger, annoyance, happiness, pride, fondness and lately even desire. Even love. For her touch, for her company, for her. Her cousin was never good at hiding what he felt, nor did he try. She always knew where she stood with Ben.
It was how she knew that this look was none of those. This look was filled with need, visceral, unadulterated need. Need like he needed air, like he needed the heartbeat she could hear emanate from him, overlain with her own. Need like she needed him as well.
His eye flickered to the bag he'd left abandoned on the floor for the briefest of seconds before turning back to look at her. She felt a twinge of dread, already knowing that he needed to leave, that her parents would come looking for them soon, that he'd have to go after dinner, that she'd have to miss him again, and that they were both going to have a terrible week but they had to-
"You're coming with me." He told her, softly, voice low. Not demanding, not possessive, but certain, knowing what she wanted, at least where it really mattered.
Gwen let that certainty wash over her, reveling in it. "I might, if you can persuade me." She breathed in challenge, equally soft, not caring if it sounded more like a plea than a demand.
His answering smile was so small, shy and gentle that it hurt. He leaned down, hovering so close that she was sure he was going to kiss her. Instead, he brushed his forehead against hers again, nuzzling her face, eyes filled with so much adoration that her heart straight up stopped. Bringing his lips next to her ear, he nuzzled her again.
"Come stay with me, babe?"
She pulled him away from her ear by his hair and in for a kiss with strained groan, wanting to laugh and cry at the same time because he could have asked her for anything in the entire universe when he was looking at her like that-
And all he'd asked her was to stay.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone