Chapter 81: For ‘Life’, I’ll Start Once Again
When my eyes opened, I realised that I was back in the middle of nowhere. There was a forest, I don't know what the hell happened or why my body was suddenly whisked here out of nowhere, but it felt like I was a familiar with this unknown place...
My connection with my Dark Spawns seemed to be cut off, and I wasn't sure if Madeline was alright...
I looked at my body and saw that I was in the same form as the one I had long ago, why do I feel-
"Excuse me, young lady over there." A familiar voice resounded from my left, and my eyes widened greatly...! I looked around in my body and found that though my Magical Capacity was still the D Rank, 'his' soul wasn't within me anymore.
How could this be?! Why am I here?!!!
The bloodied swordsman was confused by my expression as he walked towards me. As if he had understood something through my eyes, he made sure to approach me calmly without raising his voice. His hand reached out to wipe my tears...
"Excuse me, are you feeling okay? Are you able to talk?" He was worried by this crying face of mine.
"I'm... alright." My mouth was barely able to speak out after seeing that familiar face once again.
I'm seeing another illusion, right? He is really here before me, isn't he? Please don't be an illusion...!
He was surprised when I grabbed onto his arm and embraced him, feeling the warmth of him still there. I'm sure he's real... Definitely! This can't be an illusion made from my regrets. It just can't be...!
"Were you abandoned here?" This carefully spoken question made me regain my calm as I realised his arms were still hanging in the air after I'd latched onto him out of nowhere. What a fine gentleman he is like always, to try his best to comfort a 'stranger'.
"Ahem, I'm sorry for getting too emotional." I was able to regain my calm and pushed him away.
"Yes. I was abandoned here." There was no point on correcting him since it wasn't important to me.
In fact, letting him think that I was abandoned would definitely give me some sympathy points. I'd be happy to see him flustered and wondering what he could do after finding me in such a place.
"I'm unfamiliar with your face. Are you from around here?" Bob asked suspiciously as he looked at me.
Looking at those eyes that were unfamiliar with my presence hurt a lot, but that didn't matter. I don't care what brought me back. The only thing that mattered was that he doesn't die this time...!
"I'm actually from near the Capital." There was a slight eloquence in my words while speaking.
Lying came as natural as breathing now to the point that I didn't even realise why 'that' was my explanation for not being from his village. Though my words still continued as I cooked up a story.
"I was tricked by my companions to go to Red Tryst Vine Village, and only managed to escape here thanks to my Dark Arts. I'm actually a Dark Mage that has yet to join the Magic Association." This was the lie I came up with out of intuition.
What I learnt about lying over the years that it wasn't about the content of a person's words, but what can be inferred through the blank spaces. It only looked as though Bob was careless sometimes despite how methodical he was.
Just like how he didn't approach me with a frightening atmosphere, the way he differentiated friend and foe had to do with the 'attitude' of another rather than right or wrong. If he really liked you, then he liked you. If not, he'd still act nice but wouldn't exactly start up a conversation with you.
"Thank you for being honest. Let me guide you, I will bring you to someplace safe. Are you injured or fatigued?" Seeing that he didn't leave things at just a simple response, I was happy to hear his inquiry.
"I was lucky enough to not be found when I was resting. What about you though? You look terrible in that outfit." My hand wiped away what was left of my tears on my cheek before starting to advise him. Now I could truly act like a 'Dark Mage'...
I switched to my 'Human Form' while still wearing the clothes made by Wood Attribute and returning the ones other than my Skeletal Staff back to my Ability Core. After all, it was best to look my part as a 'Mage'. His eyes were in wonder as only my gauntlets had visibly disappeared. The hidden Blood Attribute only made my hair turn black.
"Magic."
"Amazing!" He brought the lies I was selling easily as 'Dark Magic' wasn't exactly common anywhere.
"Anyway, there an important thing I'd like to request you considering you've saved my life."
"Don't think anything of it. It's only natural that Adventurers help each other out~!" He made an adorable expression while scratching the back of his head without any animosity towards me.
Again, he was too trusting... Really... Even though that was also something I liked about him as well...
"Well then-" I reached out my hand towards him naturally as if what was about to be done was just a really normal part of etiquette. His forehead creased as he realised I didn't ask my 'request' yet.
"-Please escort this 'Dark Mage' before you." As I already knew the kind of guy he was, my heart was sure that he'd fall for this kind of tactic. Who knew my mind had the knack for manipulating men?
He didn't know what I was up to, but to keep his gentlemanly demeanour intact, he decided to go with the flow. If I didn't know him any better, then maybe I would have fallen for this act of his...
For a man with such a irreversible black stain on his heart, such actions are merely for his own comfort rather than for anyone around him. I'm not sure what it was the drew his interest to me the first time, but I might as well act 'natural' as Harmony.
What defines the 'Self'? Until the day I took up his identity, I knew what it meant. There was much more to a person than the events that happened in their life or the position they had in a family.
If the 'Identity' is like clothes, then a 'Self' was moulded by what was worn. They didn't dictate what the person would become, instead being nothing more than as 'outer Self' for others.
What mattered was on the inside beneath the exterior. The fears, the likes, the hobbies, the interests, and even the things that brought them the simplest of joys. For me, him taking my hand was a joy in itself. It made me aware of my nature.
As Damian, I was a clingy guy with the worst temper with an introverted personality. If it wasn't for the help of the people around me, who knew what would have happened to me in the long-run.
As Simon, my clinginess didn't chance despite my attitude improving somewhat. Again, there were people who helped me whenever I wanted something to point that nepotism became the key factor why I became Sapphire's personal servant...
Of course, there was also my own strength that came from my efforts to become stronger. As some 'Omni Being' that didn't even properly understand his own existence. I was confined by the 'common sense' before my third identity.
The identity of Harmony, this was a special 'Identity' that didn't fit any of the previous ones whatsoever. It was feminine and did whatever it felt like without any regard. However, there was a sense of grace within her that's hard to interpret.
She was thoughtful despite appearances, someone who tried to return the 'grace' given by others. It might be redundant to call her 'clingy', but for some odd reason, I found it fine for this quality to be part of a 'woman'. Seems like I was affected by stereotypes of my last life, as defining masculinity and femininity missed the entire point...
And lastly, was the Identity of Bob. A common name without any extraordinary features from his swordsmanship to his family. He was traumatised a a certain event in the past and had a sort of methodology in his actions I sought to replicate.
But in the end, I found it was actually a meaningless endeavour... Though I can act the same on the outside, I could never replicate the 'Inner Self' of another no matter how much I tried.
Perfectly fooling his family didn't bring me joy, and my actions were the kind that gave no thought for my own personal whims. The suffocating feeling of never being able to act as my 'Self' anymore added another regret to the list i was defined by...
Regrets, am I destined to never let go of them? To always be the kind of person who would redirects the melancholy of my misfortunes into trying to make others not do the same? Perhaps I'm destined to be the lecturing type on the inside...
Since when did my salvation become tied to seeing that look in this man's eyes. Is this how reincarnation is supposed to work? Throwing away a previous Identity in order to wear a new one?
No, I'm giving myself too much credit. The fact of the matter is that I desire to be comforted by his presence in return. It was a simple deal, nothing more than me selfishly imposing my will on him...
From a famous soldier, to a personal butler, to a wandering divine entity, to a loved one, and then back to who I am right now. I'll never forget what it was like to live as him, nor the hatred in me...
I will kill Chaos...!
"I think you should let go of my hand." A voice brought me out of my thoughts in anxiety.
Goblins started appearing around us, and it was imperative that we fought back against them.
"Leave it to me." I gripped tighter to stopped him from letting go and raised my Skeletal Staff.
It was a good thing the vermin presented themselves for me to vent my frustrations...
[Darkness Summoning- Shadow Soldier!]
Using my Dark Core, Blood Tattoo, and Metal Tattoo as mediums, I formed an armoured figure of darkness that took on the aspects of both flesh and iron. 'His' face was covered in a helmet as I added a portion of my consciousness into it.
Not wanting to alert Bob of the true identity of the Shadow Soldier, I made its appearance as intimidating as possible. Unlike normal Shadow Clones that had nearly the exact same physical specs as its owner, my Shadow Soldier was a being that was above all that. The Blood Tattoo added to it wasn't for naught as its power was amplified by the muscles formed to create its large frame.
Then there was the aspects added in by the Metal Tattoo. Even without a true weapon, the truth of the matter was that my 'soldier' didn't need anything like that. After all, it WAS a weapon itself.
"...That's magic as well?" Bob asked me cautiously.
"It's my Beast Familiar. Hey, greet him as well!" As if acting out a script, the 'summon' waved at him.
Though it seemed Bob wasn't as gullible as I thought considering his first reaction was to make a look of doubt. It was only now did I realise my mistake... The reason he was suspicious was due to how compliant and 'empty' the shadow seemed.
It was absolute normal for living creatures to have their own personalities and quirks, which was hard to reproduce considering the Shadow Soldier's true identity was 'me'... Such unconditional compliance was rare for even a high-rank Familiar.
To cover up my mistake. I made that half of me trigger my 'kill switch'. The Goblins of the vicinity became even more intimidated as an overwhelming thirst for blood seemed to be expressed by my Shadow Soldier at that moment. It's body became spiked with metallic magic alloy formed from my Dark Core as it independently started to move.
As I'd already mastered the things I needed to in the future, there was no problem as my Shadow counterpart used Dark Mana in the way of true Beasts. It roared before pouncing on the 'pitiful' Goblins with the look of a really hungry ghost.
The 'mouth' of the helmet opened up to reveal several metallic teeth as its corporeal body lunged at them...! With the familiarity I had with Adventures, I made sure to leave their ears. Goblin meat and hide had no quality to them anyway.
The face of the person holding my hand was blank as he looked at the Goblins being slaughtered by my counterpart and even going so far as to leave behind the ears so we could cash in on them.
The amount of money they gave for Goblin subjugation was unsurprisingly low but the amount of respect it got from those the Church was easy to see. My hand shook to break him out of his daze and he quickly apologised to ease my worries:
"Sorry, I was just thinking of how amazing your Familiar was!" He spoke politely since he could already guess and sympathise with the positions those with a Dark Affinity had in society.
"Anyway, what did you want to ask me?" Seeing that there was time to talk as my Shadow Soldier was swiftly dispatching Goblins without any hesitation whatsoever, and I went along with it.
"The request I'd like to make is..."
Come on! You can ask this... Steel yourself!
"Would you be my friend?"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
FlowingWaves
FlowingWaves Ah... When I see people drawing their own Manga and get interested in the work of an average writer like myself, as someone who also writes with an artistic mindset, I feel a sense of ‘what I am writing has no worth’ considering even 79 chapters can’t get a stable review after so long...
The only reviewers who sounded like they actually read the story are old ‘fans’ like flowingember or friends. I need some validation here...!’(Low ego)
Also, I wrote a story called Amalgam System.