Chapter 15: Ch. 1.14 I killed someone and I like it.

The warm ball of light filtered through his thin eyelids awoke him on his sleep. Rays of brightness cast Square unto the glossy tiled floor, reflecting onto several objects on the somewhat still dark room. Another day... Another life...

James blink a few times attempting to adjusting his still sleepy eyes from the sunlight directly on his face.

Feeling the warmth breath coming from his right side make him glance a bit just to see a man wearing a black clothes, use the edge of the sofa as a pillow, sleeping like a baby.

Without even looking at the face of the man, he already recognised him, he'd seen the body structure for a hundred times already. He knew this man. He is very familiar with this man.

"Kaidan" James whispered, looking at the man sleeping, undisturbed with the sunlight streaming through the window pane. He looks so serene.

James doesn't know how many minutes he wasted staring at the man. Kaidan stirred, blinking his eyes, looking at his surroundings. He is still in the master's bedroom, James's bedroom.

'And it's morning!' kaidan scrambled to get up, his legs are still numb due to his sitting while sleeping position. He have to get out of here before James will wake up or else he will be screwed, big time screwed!

"And where do you think you are going?" a baritone voice asked making him flinch, glancing at James direction. 'Now he is screwed! Royal screwed!'

"Should you suppose to say something?" James again questioned, sitting on the chair, arching his brow while looking at kaidan.

'What should I do?' kaidan shook his head. He will not speak.

"Anything?"

Kaidan again shook his head.

"How about your accident? No comment about that?" glancing up at the man standing still like a statue.

Kaidan shook his head.

"Are you deaf?"

Kaidan again shook his head.

"Mute?"

A shook.

"Dumb?"

"Don't insult my intelligence!" kaidan shouted. that man really called him dumb? He know that the man is just pulling his feet off but being called dumb really sets him off.

James chuckled, "So you did know how to speak?" kaidan rolled his eyes when he heard him say that.

"Are you not going to sit down" gesturing to his side.

Kaidan turned a blind eye at his gestures. Not moving on his position. 'Sit down with him? No thanks! I'll rather stand.'

"Suit yourself! " James grumpily snort and said. "What really happened? Why did you gone missing?"

"I'm really sorry for making you feel worried, I really did not plan it, everything just happens on the blink of an eye, if not for my quick thinking I might not be here standing in front of you."

"Then, why did you disappear?" James asked, respecting kaidan and not asking about the datails, he know that kaidan will tell him about it when the time comes.

"I killed someone!" come Kaidan's short reply. "He will kill me, so killed him."

Silence... Nobody speaks, looking at one another's eye, trying to discern what is going on their companion's own mind.

"And, I'm using his identity." Kaidan's continued, "I'm using his identity, he is from the underground. Miles baited him that he will say the identity of the El Futuro's owner if he will make me gone, and I killed him."

"I'm a killer James, it might be a self defence but I still killed someone." saying the word out loud, his guilt again resurfaces, he keep on avoiding on thinking about the incident, putting it at the back of his mind, locking it.

"the worse part is I don't feel guilt when I killed the man, far from it. James, I actually enjoyed it. For fucking sake, I even smirk looking at the man dying." kaidan admitted.

Looking at the man still sitting on the sofa, Kaidan admitted to himself that the man is much important than what he thought he is on his life.

The biggest reason to his disappearance is James. The alibi that he constructed—using the man's identity to enter the underworld— is just a thing he make to cover his feeling. His alibi that he uses is for more for him than other people. He is afraid that the man would judge him, condemn his morals and would say that he would not have anything to do with him.

"I disappeared because I'm afraid of your criticism. I'm afraid that you will judged me. I won't care if some people do it, I will accept it. But I'm fearful that even you will do it." Kaidan bared his soul, his fear to James.

Silence! His confessions once again meets silence. Kaidan bowed his head in dejection. It looks like their friendship, their partnership is now over. Clearing his throat, Kaidan opened his mouth to speak, to excuse himself and to go out, out of this house, out of James life.

"Why?" the word kaidan wants to say quickly stops when he heard James voice, he really wants to return back his sentence to him that he still know how to talk but decided against it.

"Why?" James again asked, stealing a glance at the smaller man now sitting on the counter cabinet, clenching his hand on nervousness.

"I like you" kaidan whispered.

James, hearing the truth, smiles. He so happy.

"Kaidan." James gently called out, walking towards the man and gathering him into his embraced.

"You won't disappointed me. You will never disappoint me." he whispers to the man clutching his waist.

"And, I'm not as cleaned as you portray me to be. I have my fair share of shady dealings. I'm a CEO of a conglomerate and to keep my current position, I do illegal things"