Chapter 38: I'm Going to Let You
"At least we didn't have to endure any more pleasantries from her," he said.
They rode the elevator down in silence. Ally was pretending to look over the profiling report. The elevator doors opened, and Dean guided her toward the coffee shop. A young man who looked more like a kid greeted them.
"Welcome to The Human Bean. What can I get for you today?"
"Hey, Justin. I will have my usual."
"One black coffee and a fat-free blueberry muffin coming right up."
Justin looked at Dean with wide doe eyes. He would be batting his eyelashes if he could.
Apparently, several men would also be proud to have him in their lives to love them.
"And for you, Miss?" Justin asked.
"Black coffee and anything with chocolate in it," she said.
"We have a divine dark chocolate cheesecake muffin. How does that sound?"
It sounds amazing. I miss chocolate and muffins... and sex.
"You missed sex when you were alive, too, because you didn't get any."
You know that is not true.
"Dark chocolate is my favorite of the chocolates. Thank you, Justin."
"Coming right up." Justin walked away and started preparing their order.
"Dark chocolate is your favorite of the chocolates. I will remember that. In case of any chocolate emergency you need me to help with."
She couldn't help but smile. She remembered when Alex went out to get her Dark Chocolate Dove Squares at two am. She told him he didn't have to do it, but he said he wanted to, so he went. It never mattered what time it was or how far he had to go. He would go.
Later, he confessed that he did it because he wanted to imagine getting up to get his child's mother gummy bears at one a.m. He would get whatever she craved because that's what good husbands do.
Justin returned with their order. "Coffees and muffins. Yum," he said. "Enjoy."
"Thanks, Justin. I will see you again tomorrow," Dean said.
They found a little 2-person table by one of the windows. They sipped their coffee without saying a word. Ally picked at her muffin. Justin was right. It was divine. She was looking around aimlessly. She did her best not to look at him or make eye contact.
"So, Allie. I need to know. What did I do to upset you?" he asked.
She shifted uncomfortably in the metal chair.
"Yeah, I wanted to apologize for my behavior towards you the last few weeks," she said sincerely. "I know what I did wasn't right, but please, Cowboy. You have been nothing but nice and courteous. Except for the whole Alvarez situation, which caused me to break down in your truck mentally."
"I thought you didn't remember the episode in the truck."
"No, I just flipped my switch."
Don't you mean you flipped your shit?
She had her hands folded on top of the table. He put his hand over hers, expecting her to pull her hands away. She did not, and the touch of his hand comforted her.
"I like you, Dean. That scares the living hell out of me. The afternoon we spent at the range, and then the bar made me realize that I wasn't just sexually attracted to you. I had caught feelings for you. Remember you caught me when I fell? You looked me in the eyes. I wanted you to kiss me gently in front of everyone in that bar. Every time your hand brushed mine, and your leg touched mine, it was like you knocking on the door to a place I had barricaded for so long. And then... well, you remember the rest. That night, I wanted to tell you it would mean something if you stayed. I couldn't bring myself to admit it to you. That would make it real."
"So where do you want to go from here?" he asked.
"Does that mean that you have forgiven me?"
"Let's say I have forgiven you."
"Dean Carron, you are one of the best people on this shitty earth that I have the pleasure to know."
"I can't walk away from you. I know we met for a reason. I know it wasn't for hot sex and alcohol. We have some deeper connections."
"Maybe we can do something that doesn't involve firearms and flashbacks next."
"Why Det. Kingston, are you asking me out?" he asked.
"Yeah. I guess I am." She has a sheepish smile on her face.
"A wise woman once told me that if you make the first move, I shouldn't question it and just go with it," he said. "So where should we take this?"
"I do not know. It's your move," she said.
He scooted his chair over next to hers. The chair legs dragged across the floor, echoing throughout the lobby. They were face-to-face.
"There, I moved. Your move."
HAHA! LOOPHOLE!
"You are such a smart ass," she said.
"Have you ever met my sister?"
"No, but I wouldn't mind," she said.
They leaned into each other. "Allie, I want to kiss you. I'm going to kiss you. Please let me kiss your sweet lips."
She made a slight movement with her head, giving him the all-clear. His lips met hers. Their eyes closed. It was a soft, sensual kiss—a perfect kiss. They looked at each other. They both had small smiles.
Jolene looked like she was about to vomit on her desk.
"How about you come to my place?"
"Can we go right now?"
"God, I wish. I would be the happiest agent in this building if I could take you home right now. And Klingeman is getting married this weekend."
"You want me to come to the east side? Ugh. Well, for you, I will. When?"
"Don't get upset, but I am going to my parents' house this month on weekends. We have some stuff going on," he said. "Unless you want to come with me?"
"I can wait. We can use the time to get to know each other more beyond a game of 5 questions. And I can come here for coffee and muffins on my lunch break."
"Anytime you want to, I am up for a coffee."
"Hey."
"What?" he asked.
"Can we kiss again?"
"How about a hug with a kiss?"
They stood up and ducked behind the enormous fake tree Allie had been standing by earlier. He pulled her close to him, cupped her face, and kissed her, the tips of their tongues touching. He inhaled deeply.
Her hair smelled like coconut. The scent made his cock twitch. He remembers that smell from when they were together in her bed. He was on top of her, just impaling her with his cock.
"Do you know how bad I want to be with you?" he asked.
He looked into her eyes. It made her knees weak.
"My guess is as much as I want to be with you."
He hugged her tightly. She buried her head in his chest. She inhaled his scent.
"I missed you. I missed everything about you. I am so sorry for everything."
"Hey. Look at me."
She raised her head and looked at him. He smiled at her.
'I believe forgiveness is the best form of love in any relationship. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry and even a stronger person to forgive.'
"Yolanda Hadid," she said with a smile.
"I can forgive you, but you must promise to forgive yourself too. Don't hold this. I have accepted your apology, so now you need to forgive yourself, and we move on together."
"I wish I had remembered you right away. I wish I weren't such an alcoholic bitch who thinks she sees everything around her but isn't very good at seeing something that is right in front of me."
'In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take. The relationships we were afraid to have. And the decisions we waited too long to make.'
"Lewis Carroll." She loved that he knew things like that. It reminded her so much of Malibu.
"You know, I'm a sucker for a woman in uniform."
"I'm a sucker for a man in a linen suit," she said.
He lowered his head, and they kissed again. "I'm going to fall in love with you, Alexsandra."
"I'm going to let you," she said.
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