Chapter 6: Button World
I had my childhood taken away from me, but I still had some an amazing memories. I was still bright and bubbly. I was always running around and playing with worms, playing with frogs. Normal things little kids did with their siblings or in general.
The one thing that really made me feel real was Button World. It was an imaginary world my sister and I made up. We made up names and also relationships. I was married to Justin Bieber, the love of my life. My obsession for him was a little too much, butt it was reasonable. I mean after all, I was only five. Nothing made me more happy than this made up world.
It was really just a nail that was screwed in the wall, it looked like a button. Every time we pressed it, we were in Button World. Our names were whatever we wanted it to be and we had whatever we wanted. We were two little girls with an imagination bigger than the world. In fact, our imagination probably had the power to take over the world.
Button World is the one thing I valued most as a child. Everything else seemed to be a made up lie, my life felt more imaginary than Button World. I seemed so innocent and happy, what happened to me? Who am I? I miss the magical forest, Harry Potter living underreported my stairs, Button World, and Friday's with Mrs. Wanda the bus driver.
Everything felt so perfect, normal, until we moved. After we moved, I stopped playing outside, I stopped touching worms and frogs, my childhood ended. I felt like I was forced to grow up, that I wasn't allowed to be a kid anymore. So I did, I grew up and stepped up. I started experiencing things that were too traumatic for a six year old, in fact, any child. I was forced to stop being a child, Button World burned to the ground just like my imagination did. Happiness is just temporary anyway, everything is temporary.
Button World slower went farther and farther away. It was like every time I took a step towards it, it went a million miles farther. My divorce with Justin Bieber was filed and Button World burned to the ground, that's what it was. Nothing was left of that beautiful world, not even a single thing was left behind; not even the memories.
The drawings that showed everyone how Button World was like was still there, the little stick figures of Casey and Justin Bieber were still there. My sister wasn't there though, they both became someone else. Once again, I was alone. I was always alone, not even my drawings could save me at that point. Seeing my sister in pain and the other one just become... insane, it made me feel worthless. I didn't know how to help them. I didn't know what to do, but sit there and do nothing. I felt useless, I just wanted to help my sisters, my brothers, and my parents.
Sometimes I wish to bring Button World back, maybe a new imaginary world. Maybe a world we would all enjoy and love, it could be a new.. made up, perfect world. I just wanted everyone happy, it seemed I was putting all my problems on them. I felt terrible. I was the terrible person, I made everyone worry and stress.
I get it, it's not exactly my fault, but if I had told them sooner then it wouldn't be like this. Button World would be here still or maybe we could still be a happy family. My family would still watch movies together and eat dinner together maybe. The thing is, nothing is perfect. It was bound to happen at some point. We weren't going to be a perfect family our whole life. That's just not how life works, nothing stays the same. No matter how hard we try, it won't be the same.
For some reason, Button World reminded me of the movie, Coraline. It's like an alternate world, contrasting the people around her. The only difference is, I don't need to crawl to get into the opposite world, I just needed to touch a nail in the wall and have an imagination. Though, unlike Coraline, I would sew buttons in my eyes to live with them forever.
Sometimes I wish I kept the same innocence and imagination I had when I was younger, but we all have to grow at some point. I'm sure I am not the only who doesn't want to grow, no one wants to grow honestly. We live and we learn, gain experience and mature. Well, some of us do. Others can't seem to grow up and act their age, I guess they like to act like they are still in middle school. It amazes me to this day honestly, sometimes I forget they are older than I am. I envy them though, they weren't forced to grow up like I was, at least I don't think so. I also wish I could show them how beautiful Button World is, but then again, I don't want to share such an amazing world like Button World. I am not one to be selfish, but Button World is too precious to me. That imaginary world is mine... well and my sister's, but that's besides the point.
Now that I am a lot more grown than I was when Button World existed, I know it was nonsense and nothing that would actually happen. I would have never gotten married to Justin Bieber, he is a lot older than I am. A girl can dream though. Well. I would rather marry the Justin Bieber from the early 2000s, no offense. There is going to be one less lonely girl, you know? My imagination will continue to grow, but not in the same way as it did then and that's okay. Life would be boring if it stayed the same through your whole life. I don't know about you, but life like that wouldn't be very fun nor interesting.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone