Chapter 1: Morning Routine
Chapter 1 - Morning Routine
You fucking loser.
Adonis stares at himself in the mirror. His morning routine begins.
I spent all night watching pointless YouTube videos again…
Why do you keep doing this? You made it clear that that's a complete waste of time, now it's 12pm already, the day feels like it's half over and I just got up.
Adonis remembers the morning routine videos he used to watch for inspiration. All the successful 17 year olds, the ones who wake up at 5am to meditate, are circling in his mind, taunting him.
He skips flossing his teeth and almost doesn't brush his teeth either, but he grabs his toothbrush, lathers on the toothpaste and aggressively brushes his teeth for less than 30 seconds. He spits. There's a bit of blood in the spit, but that's not unusual. He mindlessly exits his bathroom and goes straight to his safe space - His computer.
Muscle memory takes him straight to YouTube.com where Adonis instantly clicks on a self improvement video. He does have work to do but this feels productive, for now.
Oh my god, get to the fucking point and stop wasting my time.
Adonis keeps his hand on the mouse, constantly clicking forward in the video, skipping 1 minute each time, just hoping to find something of value that will change his life. Nothing in this one, onto the next. And the next. And the next.
He remembers that YouTube is largely a waste of time and gets frustrated at yet another hour wasted.
Come on, time to eat.
Adonis doesn't eat breakfast until a few hours after waking up. He remembers the intermittent fasting videos stating that this way of eating is the most effective at burning fat. And he needs to burn fat.
Adonis isn't exactly fat, but he's not skinny either, and he's certainly not muscular. He's skinny fat. He's cursed with the disadvantages of being skinny coupled with the disadvantages of being fat at the same time.
He's in the kitchen, drowning out what his mother says with the negative thoughts in his mind.
I need to concentrate on my work and she just keeps talking.
He stays deep in thought whilst his mother goes on and on, giving him advice that he didn't ask for. He just wants to keep his focus on his work.
Finally, after what felt like an awful long time, his mother has finished preparing his breakfast. She passes the plate to Adonis with a smile. 2 fried eggs and 2 slices of toast.. Adonis's mother immediately sits down at the kitchen table to continue eating her breakfast that she paused to make his meal. She eats alone. Adonis takes his plate to his computer desk so that he can focus on his work. He opens YouTube and begins watching self improvement videos.
He loves his mom, but he just finds it awkward to express that. Plus, it's a waste of time to eat at the kitchen table with her when he could be productive and learn whilst eating at his desk. He begins to eat.
She didn't even put enough butter on the toast...
He speedwalks downstairs with his plate and aggressively gets the butter out of the fridge, spreading it over his toast unsuccessfully, ripping the toast apart. His mother notices and apologies for not doing it herself.
Just shut up.
He doesn't actually tell his mom to shut up, but he thinks it. And it's so clear that's what he's thinking by the way he looks at her. His mother looks sad, gives him a faint smile, puts her head down and continues eating by herself.
Adonis takes his breakfast up to his computer for the second time and instantly clicks on the first enticing self improvement video about building discipline, something that is dangerously deficient in Adonis.
He eats his breakfast but doesn't really enjoy it or even taste it much. He paid no attention to the food with his mind scattered all over the place. He scrolls down to the comments of the video and leaves his own comment, pretending to be someone that he's not.
I found your channel a few months ago and I've improved so much.
I wake up early and hit a workout whilst most people are still in bed.
Average people don't work hard enough but I'm not like them, I'm not ok being a loser.
Adonis posts the comment and feels good about himself for a few seconds. He likes his own comment to make it seem a little more popular. He clicks on the next video. And the next. And the next. Soon his brain feels fried. He feels like he's in a haze.
Adonis did plan to start going to the gym but it doesn't seem likely now.
It's so fucking annoying I feel like I have a headache, I was gonna go to the gym just now.
Maybe I'll skip it today, but that's annoying because I really wanted to go.
I'll have a rest day today and I'll do an extra long workout tomorrow.
Plus, I have so much work to do, I'll focus on that today.
Adonis feels good about this decision, he didn't feel like getting up from his computer anyway.
It's time to start the grind.
Adonis opens up his business plan and reads it again. And again. He's reading the words on the screen but it's not really going inside his head. He's thinking negative thoughts over the reading.
Fuck, my nofap streak!
He almost forgot that he reset his streak in the middle of the night - A counter of how many days he made it without masturbating. He goes onto the r/nofap subreddit and starts reading the posts there, annoyed that he reset all of his progress.
Reading the posts makes it so much worse, he reads posts from guys who are on Day 14 and another guy is on Day 31! And another on Day 50!! He reads the posts and is incredibly jealous of their progress and the benefits these men feel.
Why is it so easy for everyone else?
Adonis spends the next hour alternating between binge-reading the posts on the r/nofap subreddit and binge-watching nofap YouTube videos. He reads a comment about an additional benefit of nofap - Having the mental capacity to help your family and the people in your community. Adonis clicks the like button on that comment just as his mother opens his bedroom door, instantly putting him into an annoyed mood. His mother asks him if he could hoover the house as the floors are dirty. He quickly responds that he'll do it later and then he tells her to close his door.
Why does she always interrupt me when I'm working?
Adonis keeps YouTube on his computer and hops on Instagram on his phone. His business is growing an Instagram meme page and he just knows he's going to crush it, all of the entrepreneur YouTubers say so...
There's meme pages with millions of followers!
I bet they're making so much money from selling shoutouts.
His business work consists of scrolling down his Instagram feed looking for memes to reupload to his account. He does this for precisely 5 minutes until he searches for an Instagram model.
@sommerray is his go-to right now. It's strange. He spends an awful long time researching these models and masturbating to their pictures but he also has an intense hatred for them at the same time.
Dumb bitch.
Girls have such an easy life and they don't even know it.
She literally makes money just for taking pictures of her ass.
Adonis rapidly flicks through the pictures and then clicks on the suggested tab to take his pick of a seemingly unlimited number of Instagram models. It takes seeing tens, if not hundreds of sexy pictures for him to feel satisfied now. He briefly remembers what it used to be like when he first started masturbating. His imagination was more than enough back then.
He doesn't even enjoy it anymore. Even at the point of climax it's like his negative thoughts instantly switch on and ruin the moment. He cleans up, inadequately.
Feeling shameful, Adonis Closes the Instagram app, his business work done for the day. He proceeds to go on the r/nofap subreddit. He resets his nofap streak counter back to 0 days and muscle memory takes him back to YouTube.
You fucking loser.