Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Why?
A lonely figure was standing in front of someone's tomb while staring somewhere else in daze. Tears that threatened him slowly stained his white pale cheek. The snow fractals fell from the sky onto himself, making him felt somehow nostalgic, but these nostalgic feelings brought him to a deeper abyss. The snowy day made him overwhelmed with the loneliness and sadness which brought to him by these nostalgic feelings. He was still standing there and revealed a sad smile on his pale pinkish lips at the deceased's tomb, his dearest mother's tomb.
He felt as if icicles were forming with very breath he exhaled and his movements became arthritic somehow due to the frigid cold on this this snowy night. The arctic temperature caused him to convulse involuntarily and a rash of goose bumps to erupt all over his body. The whole cemetery was blanketed with a thick layer of snow that froze the warmth of each life form. However, what made him felt cold was not this cold weather nor the snowy night, but the memories that haunted him each day in day out. These feelings and emotions slowly made him went crazier day by day, and even caused him to questioned himself the reason of him being alive.
'Why?'
'Just why?'
Why, this one word question carried an usual burden on anyone who questioned themselves. This word only could make someone become crazier, regret their actions until they sink deeper and deeper into a dark abyss where they could only blame themselves, just like how he sank into a dark abyss where he couldn't save himself and only able to suffer alone in regrets where he was unable to find an escape route from his pains and suffocating emotions.
'Why would I love you?'
'Why?'
The pains he felt when he questioned himself why, felt very unbearable and somehow slowly suffocated him with emotions where he couldn't find a place to vent off his hidden feelings in his depth of his only soul, which chose to embrace the darkness after that year. That year, what he experienced and how he felt was still vivid and realistic in his haunting yet somehow nostalgic memories, but it didn't matter anymore in his life as everything became memorable pasts which never changed his choices nor affected his decisions at this very moment, where he had already decided to give up on his feelings and emotions. These so called 'ai' will never bring the happiness nor relief to him as it even made him blamed himself and sunk further and deeper into so called 'ai' abyss, where he could never escaped from the pain and suffering he was facing right now when he was already under his tricks and traps.
"In fact, he loved her, not me, mom." The lonely figure said slowly in a very icy voice, which brought out an unbending and dominating aura, which revealed that he was mentally resilient person who would face everything by himself, however, no one ever would expect that he was really soft by heart and suffered many things after his only one hope and light in his life, his mom passed away. As an heir, he really suffered so much hardships, but he always refused to let even a single drop of tears flowed from his eye rims. On the contrary, he let the tears stained his cheeks today as it will the only stain in his life, the stain which took everything away from him, which pushed him to a deeper abyss. However, that stain left him alive, let him regretted everything in his life which gave him the strength to fight everything, and even willing to reopen his old wound, just to make himself stronger and face the upcoming difficulties by recalling all his hardships and his mom's hopes which he buried in depth of his soul that year.
" Mom, love never existed. It was sweet nothings from those men who would like to get whatever they want."
" Just like how 'father' forgot you and married that woman and brought an illegitimate son who was older than me by five years."
"He never loved me nor loved you. He only loved your money, mom. That's why your son became like this and even fell into such a miserable situation, mom"
"I never found the moonlight, that will light up my life or will guide me in this darkness as you said, mom"
Will anyone really love me, your this good for nothing baby, mom?"
"No one will except you. I miss you, mom."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Jun_Shaoye
Jun_Shaoye I don't like old story...so I just replaced new one~
Shit....got locked....Ai is love...and using chinese character gives off baffling and unexplainable feelings to the novel.
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