Chapter 48: Friends
I know I should've answered Lisa when she came to check on me, but I just couldn't figure out what to say as I'm also still trying to process it, whether what I did was bad or not. Judging from Charlotte's expression, it looked like it was something bad. I should probably apologize.
"Shiro."
"Huh?"
Suddenly, I hear Charlotte's voice. I end up turning around on the couch, facing Charlotte who's now standing behind the couch before she slowly made her way around to me.
"I-I'm sorry about before." I end up apologizing immediately in hopes to get her forgiveness.
"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I wasn't very clear." She says while taking a seat next to me. I still decide to hold onto the pillow as it's helping in alleviating this stress inside me.
"Shiro."
"Yes?" She looks at me through the mask, but it feels like she's staring at me directly.
"You don't need to do that stuff to be with me. We don't need to be lovers."
"But you said-"
"I know what I said. But people can still live with each other without being together like that. You don't see me kissing Lisa, now do you?"
"Oi, keep me out of the conversation will ya?" Upon hearing her name, Lisa chimes in from across the room inside the kitchen, but it doesn't look like she's going to actively engage in this conversation.
"So, it's okay to be with you?"
"Mhmm! Just do what you want to do. No one will be mad about that." What I want to do...
I end up letting go of the pillow I'm holding with one hand, as I then grab hold of Charlotte's sleeve instead.
"I want to be with you."
"..." Her silence scares me a little as I end up clenching on her sleeve a bit more. But right as I was about to say something- "In what way?"
"Huh?" Instead of saying yes or no, she asks me a question. In what way? Is there any other way?
"Like romantically? Or as a friend? Family?" Seeing my confusion, she ends up listing off different answers to me, yet I'm still stumped on what's what.
Romantically... I'm not even sure if I fully know what that means. A friend I am aware of so that might be the safe bet. If I didn't know about my parents existence, then I'd probably have picked family, but in this case-
"Friends." I end up going with the safe option, the one I'm sort of familiar with. But with my answer came a smile from Charlotte as she looks as though she's about to giggle.
"You know friends don't take bathes together, or kiss each other."
"They don't?" I only kissed Charlotte because I thought that was what I needed to do in order to stay with her, so I don't really get the whole 'kissing' thing, but friends don't bath together?
"No, they don't. So if we're going to be friends, you'll need to learn to take a bath yourself." She says that as a matter of fact, but it still makes my heart ache. All this time, I always look forward to our baths as I almost always fall asleep against Charlotte. And now she's saying that we can't do that?
"W-what about the other one?"
"Hmm?"
"Romantically..." Fearing about never being able to enjoy a bath with Charlotte again, I end up asking about the other option.
"If we were in that relationship, then yes, we could bath together."
"Th-then-!"
"But that also involves many other things." Just as I was about to accept the idea of being in a romantic relationship with her, she cuts me off. "Things that you aren't familiar with. That relationship is a lot more than the one we currently have, so I think it's better if we avoid it."
"S-so you're saying we can't bathe together?"
"...Yes." She hesitated for a moment but ended up confirming my question.
All of a sudden, it feels like my body has grown heavy as I almost want to just sink deeper into this couch. I end up letting go of Charlotte, seeking more comfort in the pillow instead.
"Hey, just to let you know, we'll still be together like I promise. But lets start as just friends for now, okay?"
"Okay..." As friends... I still don't really understand it. We're still together, yet now we're not able to do things we did before? I almost want to protest against this, but I also don't want to be a bother to Charlotte than I already have been. And so, I slowly lift my face back up, putting on a smile for her; albeit a little forced.
"Hehe." And in that moment, Charlotte pats me on the head as some of the heaviness in my chest lightens up.
Yeah... If Charlotte's happy with this, then I should too. As long as Charlotte and I can be together, then I won't ask for more. It'll take some time getting used to taking a bath by myself, but I think I can manage. Washing my back and hair might be a pain to deal with, but I'm making a promise to myself now not to be a burden to Charlotte.
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