Chapter 62: A Present
Once we finished talking about the truth of my past, I felt as though a large weight had been lifted from my body, relief washing over me. Now knowing the reason why I was brought to that white room, what happened to my parents, everything. Charlotte told me everything she knew, all while wearing a sad expression, barely making eye contact.
Charlotte though... I'm now beginning to question her actions a bit. Before, when I first started living with Charlotte, she told me that she took me out of there because she couldn't stand by, seeing me being treated like that. But now after learning all of this from her, I can't help but wonder why Charlotte thought that in the first place.
I'm a monster, someone who killed her parents and many others who were innocent. For the first time, I actually agree with the people in that facility. I feel as though I shouldn't even be allowed to live like this with Charlotte. Why did Charlotte think differently though? To find a way for me to get out, her kindness, her warmth. Why did she ever give me all these things even when she knew all about me and my past? I don't get it.
"Why?" So I end up muttering that word, prompting Charlotte to look back up at me. "Why did you do all this for me? Knowing what I did..."
"It's not like you wanted to do all of those things, right? Hehe, you even felt bad for the animals and monsters back in Luna's lab, right?" It's true... Even now I'm still a bit nervous about the thought of killing them with my powers. But when I shot that man, I almost didn't feel anything, only my nerves from messing up Charlotte's plan... "You have a pure soul. I saw it the day I took you out of that room, when we bathed together."
Hearing her mention us taking a bath together makes me think back on those days. I think that was the first time I ever let my guard down and just accept Charlotte's warmth. But I also can't help but feel a bit sad, knowing that Charlotte doesn't want to do that with me anymore.
"And it's not just me. Lisa also thinks that."
"Lisa..."
"Mhmm. She risked her life earlier. She wouldn't have done that if she didn't think so as well. Along with my auntie, my mother, even that woman who came to pick us up earlier. Hehe, she was so frightened when she saw you at first, but when we were walking through those halls, I caught her smiling at you." All of this praise, it's too much... "So don't think you're a monster. You're-"
I cut her off as I quickly wrap my arms around Charlotte, accidentally pushing her down onto her back on the bed with me resting my head against on top of her. My body feels incredibly warm right now, even more so than before. Being next to Charlotte like this, I'm not sure why I feel like this.
"Sh-Shiro..."
"Charlotte's also pure..." I end up muttering those words, muffled by her chest.
"I'm far from pure, Shiro."
"If you're not then I'm also not." She can't say all of that and not believe it herself. She's given so much to someone like me. It's her that's pure, not me.
"I don't think someone who kills can be considered pure."
"Saying that would make me not pure as well then."
"But you can't control it, Shiro. We're different."
"What about the man I shot?"
"That's 'cause I ordered you to." Huh? "I'm sure you didn't want to-"
"No!" Not wanting to hear her continue, I cut her off, lifting my face up with my hands on either side of her, propping my body up as I look down on her, my hair cascading to the sides. It's rare of me to do so, but I'm not backing down from this. 'I' made the decision to follow Charlotte, 'I' chose to follow her plan. "I'd do it again, many more times if I needed to. I chose to do it, so don't burden yourself with my-"
Suddenly, It was me who was cut off, however it wasn't by words, but rather a soft sensation pressing up against my lips. Charlotte's face is right in front of me, her eyes closed as I finally realize that it's her lips against mine. But in the next moment, Charlotte lowers her head back down, away from me.
"Thank you, but you're my responsibility." She says while reaching up to my face with her hand resting up against my cheek. It feels so warm... "I've already done countless bad things, so let me keep your purity for myself, okay?" What does she mean by that? But even as I try to find a way to talk back, the feeling of her hand pressed up against my cheek makes it far too hard.
That was a kiss, right? It's what I did to Charlotte, back when I didn't understand what it really meant, but even now I still don't fully understand. Isn't it meant to ensure that two people will stay together? Does that mean Charlotte also feels the same way?
"Hehe. I guess that was a bit bold of me. Sorry about that." But before I could say or do anything, Charlotte slides out from under me, sitting back up on the bed. "I'm going to check up on Lisa. I don't want her going overboard, hehe."
"O-okay..."
Before I knew it, Charlotte left the room, leaving me confused on what exactly happened.
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