After driving home they had another few days of rest.
To be more specific, Li Du got a break while Hans got busy. He needed to find a way to sell the silverware and furniture, and also find out about the next auction.
When they got home, Li Du planned on going straight to bed. He’d experimented with flying the bug for quite some time and was exhausted again.
Hans tapped his shoulder before he could go to his room and smiled suggestively. "Bro, it’s fun playing with your own hands, isn’t it? I suggest that you go get a real girl. You won’t get addicted to the real thing, but you can get addicted to just doing it to yourself."
Without missing a beat, Li Du gave him the middle finger. "Ah Meow," he said to the ocelot. "Scratch him!"
Hans laughed heartily. "No way. Me and Ah Meow- sh*t!"
Without hesitation, Ah Meow hobbled over and swung its claws at Hans, tearing his track pants to shreds and leaving some bloody scratches on his skin.
It hurt like hell, and Hans rushed to get some disinfectant to clean his wounds, stunned and enraged. "Ah Meow, how could you? Who bought tuna for you? Who bought salmon for you? Who bought shark meat for you? You ungrateful creature!"
Ah Meow looked at Li Du. "Meoooww! Meoooww!" Its eyes remained clear and bright, and within them was a hint of humanlike wisdom that had not been there before.
Hans didn’t seem to notice it. Li Du stared at the cat and wondered. The bug had burrowed into Ah Meow’s head and grown wings. It looked as if Ah Meow had undergone some changes too.
He had guessed correctly. After bringing Ah Meow into the room, he decided to try ordering the cat again. "Go close the door."
Ah Meow stared at him, appearing confused. He pointed at the door and gestured as if closing something. Instantly, Ah Meow hobbled back over and pounced on the door so that it shut.
"Go, Ah Meow, bring that book for me. No, not the National Geographic. Not that astrology book either. Yes, that’s the one," Li Du chuckled. "Playboy magazine."
Getting the book, Li Du stretched onto his bed like some lord and waved his hand. "Go, Ah Meow, get me a glass of water."
Ah Meow looked at the water canteen and blinked. It sat down, not following the order.
Li Du also felt that this particular instruction was too difficult. He removed his shoes and pointed towards the shoe rack. "Ah Meow, put this on the shoe rack."
Ah Meow ran over. Just as Li Du was feeling excited about owning such an intelligent pet, Ah Meow picked up the shoes with its teeth and jumped onto the windowsill, flinging them out without hesitation.
Seeing this, he screamed. "Sh*t, my Nike shoes!"
Under that window was a drain!
...
Having slept soundly until daybreak, Li Du went outside to exercise and saw a rare sight. Hans was not just awake, but squatting on the lawn by the doorway, examining a cabinet.
Seeing this, Li Du greeted him. "Morning, mate! You’re working hard today. Is this the first time you’re seeing the Flagstaff sunrise this year?
Hans yawned, saying, "Shit, don’t insult me. I often leave the clubs to go home at half past six in the morning. I’ve seen many sunrises at this time of the day!"
Li Du just stared at him.
He eventually left for a run while Hans turned in for the morning.
Americans liked to exercise, and the morning runners ranged from children in their early teens to the elderly in their sixties or seventies. Of course, there were more young men and women out than there were older people.
Regrettably, some American girls didn’t put on makeup when they exercised, and Li Du really wasn’t interested in looking at their sweaty faces. When they had pale skin, any freckles or spots that appeared on their faces were quite obvious without the use of foundation. Their large skin pores were also rather visible.
Li Du pictured Dr. Sophie. He remembered that the lady doctor’s skin was very fine and smooth. He thought of the doctor’s curvy, S shaped frame and her gentle manner which contrasted with her sexy figure. Suddenly he grew hard.
He was in public, so this made him extremely embarrassed. Slapping his thigh, Li Du scolded "it" silently. I was only thinking. What are you getting excited about? Catching fire in some cotton like this, you’re hopeless!
Later in the day, after Li Du had returned to the house and showered, Hans woke up groggily from his sleep. It was the afternoon, and the first thing he did was grab a bottle of beer.
Li Du watched with concern. "Mate, this can’t go on. Late nights, girls, getting drunk and binge eating; this is all gonna shorten your lifespan."
Hans, taking a drag on the cigarette he was holding, spat out a mouthful of smoke. "I once knew a guy called Felix Fox. He never smoked a single cigarette or drank any alcohol his entire life. He probably never touched the hand of a girl his age, other than his wife’s, either. He ate on time, exercised properly, all of that stuff; but how old did he live to?"
Instinctively, Li Du asked, "How old?"
"Ha! Forty-two years old." Hans blew out a smoke ring.
Li Du pondered this for a moment before realizing something. "F*ck!" He exclaimed. "Isn’t Felix Fox your father? He passed away in a car accident!"
"Yeah, but he lived a very healthy life and died early anyways. So, life is short, my friend. Enjoy it while you can."
Li Du spread his hands. "I’ve got nothing to say to that. Let’s talk about how to handle this stuff instead."
Hans chucked the cigarette butt. "Fine. The silverware is easy. We just need to find a high-end general store to sell it to. But it’s a little more complicated for this furniture set. See that table over there? It doesn’t match the other furniture. We have to do our best to make it look like they’re all part of the same set."
The set of Neoclassical furniture had been laid out on the lawn. The armchairs, side tables and the long table had been placed together. Li Du studied them and felt that they all belonged to the same set. He said this aloud.
Hans shook his head. "No, the sofas and the side tables are from the same set. They’re of the Neoclassical style. The long table isn’t. It’s a European Classical piece of furniture.
"What’s the difference?" Li Du asked, mystified. "I can’t see any."
Hans smiled. "Of course. The European Classical style is one of the most prominent furniture styles in the world. It’s a continuation of the characteristics of the European royalty’s furniture from the seventeenth to the nineteenth century. Each detail is as fine as can be, pursuing a sense of luxury and elegance even in formality. This is an expression of European heritage and culture."
"Then what about Neoclassical European furniture?" asked Li Du.
"The Neoclassical European style did away with the overly elaborate details and décor, simplifying the lines. The combination of the Classical style, higher value on individuality, and modernization has led to a great deal of variety in furniture of the Neoclassical style."
Hearing his explanation, Li Du examined the set of furniture carefully, then shook his head. "I still can’t see it."
Hans pointed at the side tables which complemented the sofas. "Look. This belongs to the Neoclassical style. Even though it has the curved lines and surfaces of the classical style, it lacks the carvings characteristic to that period. It also uses the straight lines of modern furniture."
Li Du looked at the long table again, compared it to the side tables, and realized that there actually were more engravings on it. Carved with roses, bouquets and ribbons, cup shaped rosettes and the like; it was hard to notice at first, but it did look more grand.
The difference between prices of full sets of furniture and separate pieces was rather significant. After realizing the difference, Li Du sighed. "I made a mistake. Big Fox, in this aspect, you really are the boss."
Hans laughed, satisfied by the compliment. "Of course! Let me show you more of that. I’m gonna make this all into one set. At least, they will look as if they belong to the same set."
"How do you do that?"
Hans winked. "Just a little bit of handiwork."
Hans went out for a drive, eventually bringing back two barrels of paint.
He looked around a bit for Li Du, asked him for some help. Then the two of them went to the basement and took out a box of tools. After digging through it for a while he slowly fell into a daze.
"Are you thinking of how to refurbish this set of furniture?" Li Du asked.
Hans remained silent for a short while before responding. "No, this toolbox was a birthday present that I gave to my dad for his fortieth birthday. I bought it with money I made from a summer job."
Li Du gave Ah Meow a look, and gestured for it to nuzzle up to Hans.
Ah Meow hesitated, and considered them both for a short while, before giving Hans another swipe with its claw.
"Sh*t, I didn't offend you or your dad!" Hans yelled. "Why did you scratch me again?"
Li Du felt awkward after this happened. He had only wanted Ah Meow to snuggle up with Hans to distract him from the painful memory of his father. Though the process went wrong, he supposed the result was technically as desired.
Hans started packing up tools like files, pliers and a small axe. "My father and I have used this set of tools before to do a bunch of great stuff. Damn, in those days I was the assistant and he was the main man, and now…" He snorted. "This damn world! This damn life!"
Hans glanced over at Li Du. "Now you know why I don't believe in God. If He truly existed, why would He take away a good man who was a faithful follower?"
Li Du didn't answer that question. "Let me be your assistant. A faithful one."
"Just like how I was with my dad?" Hans stared at him in anticipation.
Li Du nodded. "Yeah."
"Then first, call me daddy!"
"Ah Meow, scratch him!"
"Meoooww! Meoooww!"
"Shit, when did your cat become so obedient?" Hans groaned in pain, a new set of scratches on his leg. It was amusing, however, and didn't actually hurt that badly.
All joking aside, Hans was still very serious when it came to work, and quickly refocused on the task at hand. "For Neoclassical styles," he said. "Straight lines are used as the fundamental design, with a few intricate details. By mainly using straight lines they strike a sense of symmetry. While the designs are detailed, they are simple." He explained to Li Du.
"I can understand all of the words you said, but I'm lost once they are all put together."
Hans rolled his eyes. "Alright, I'll make it simple. Look at this. Both styles have decorations such as embroidery, tassels and rivets. This means we don't have to add or remove anything. Which also means there is no need to break anything for this long table. For restoration projects, this is one of the easiest kinds."
"Then what do we need to do?" Li Du asked.
Hans pointed to a line on the table. "Classical styles have more complex, yet milder lines. It emphasizes on sculpturing. Although Neoclassical styles also focus on sculpturing, their lines are simpler, yet bolder. This has already been established, and we can't change it.
"What we can change are the colors. Classical furniture has very striking colors, primarily white and yellow. This makes them feel grand and luxurious.
"Neoclassical furniture uses warmer colors, and tends to use the original color of the wood in its design. The two cans of paint I bought have a similar color to the original wood. Let's be patient and give the table a good brush. We'll hide some lines, emphasize some, and turn this table into a thing of beauty."
Li Du was nodding his head in agreement until Hans's last sentence. "You Americans are really uncultured," he snapped. "What you are doing is called passing off fish eyes as pearls! Substituting a raccoon for the crown prince!"
Hans was momentarily stunned by his words. "So what if you're good in a second-language?" He eventually grumbled, choosing to avoid the accusation.
Although Hans had made this plan sound easy, it was a difficult thing to execute. This set of furniture was very antique, and the paints Hans bought were of high quality. They had to be extremely careful, as some spots of the furniture could not be painted on.
It was like they were putting makeup on a lady. Hans was in charge of painting with Li Du acting as his assistant. Li Du held paint thinner, and whenever a spot was painted badly by Hans, he would clean it off quickly so they could try again.
To make the furniture seem like a legitimate set, they added some simple decorations to the sofa and table so that the design lines paired up.
They worked for a full four hours, all the way till midnight. Once they were finished, Hans brought out some beer, a grill for them to cook some meat and sausages as a reward
"Finally, we're done," Hans said, slapping Li Du on the back.
"I'm suffocating!" Li Du heaved a sigh of relief. The paint thinner was toxic, and a few sniffs would make a person feel woozy, high, or lightheaded. If exposed for too long, it could make them very dizzy and nauseous.
Now that they were finally finished, the two men each went to take a shower.
"Xi Ge Zhong Guai Zao!" Hans said.
Li Du stared at him; he had no idea what Hans was trying to say. "Huh?"
"Have you watched The Big Bang Theory? First season, first episode. Howard had just met Penny, and when she went to take a shower, the pervert said this phrase in Mandarin. It's famous. You really don't know it?" Hans asked in surprise.
Li Du threw his towel at his face. "Of course I know. It's 'Xi Ge Tong Kuai Zao,' not that gibberish that you just said. But then again, that phrase itself is rubbish. Us Chinese don't say such things."
Hans raised his hands up. "Okay, okay, I know your Mandarin is a deep and complex language, but can you please hurry up and take a shower? I'm tired of waiting."
"You two can shower together," Hannah said, appearing at the entrance to the room.
Hans immediately gave Li Du an eager look. "Really?"
Li Du rushed into the bathroom embarrassingly, showering much faster than normal.
Hannah had bought some steak, pork rolls, sausages, and bacon. She had already fired up the grill and started cooking.
A few sausages rolled around the grill and sizzled, their surfaces full of oil, giving off a strong smell.
Once Hans had finished showering he walked out of the bathroom half naked. He closed his eyes and took a whiff of the air. "Oh, oh, oh! Oh God! This smell! This beautiful smell! Wonderful!" He sang loudly.
Hannah had a bottle of beer in her hand. "If I tell you that I've also prepared Steve Jobs, you'll find it even more wonderful, won't you?" She laughed.
Hans wore a surprised look upon hearing her words. "Really?"
"Of course." Hannah smiled.
"Steve Jobs? What do you mean?" Li Du asked, puzzled.
Hannah took out a tray. On it there were a few skinned apples.
"So you were talking about grilling apples. I thought you guys were gonna grill a person," Li Du said, amused.
Steve Jobs was the founder of Apple, the computer company. Of course, that Apple and the apples on the tray were quite different.
The grilled apples that Hannah made were not simply thrown onto the grill. Besides being skinned, the apple cores were taken out and replaced with a delicious filling; butter and brown sugar mixed with gooseberry, cookie crumbs, cinnamon, nutmeg and rosemary. After mixing them together, this was then stuffed into the apples.
In addition, the top and bottom holes of the apples were sealed with a piece of marshmallow on each side. When placed on the grill, the butter and brown sugar would melt under the heat and seep into the flesh of the apple.
The first items to finish cooking were the sausages. Li Du quickly grabbed one before it could turn cold, his mouth and nose full of the fragrances of grilled meat and cooking oils. Combined with the smells of chilli and cumin, the air was heavenly.
"Dude, compared to the grilled apples, this stuff is nothing." Li Du said, stuffing his face with his third sausage. "Hmm, but I guess it's still okay."
"Come on, give me another one," Hans whined. "I still want to eat!"
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