Chapter 5: Mother
I told the lady everything that had happened in my past life. She patiently listened and did not interrupt even once.
The tales I recited, it made her tear up. She was genuinely sobbing as I continued on, and after who knows when, I finished with my story when I told her about the heart attack.
"Oh my baby…" the lady sobbed and wiped her tears with a handkerchief. "…it has been so hard on you…"
Those words were really comforting and exactly the ones I needed right now.
However, they did not belong to me.
This was not my mother.
I had to stay firm. For the sake of the life of this lady.
"…so as I mentioned, I'm quite dangerous and not your son. I am really thankful for the care you've shown, but from this point onwards, please let's part ways. I'm sorry for your loss and that your son is no more… but it's just what it is… I'm sorry…"
I said apologetically with the most polite tone possible.
I was a transmigrator and in all the fantasy books I had read and the movies I had watched, it warned about not revealing your identity to anyone in the new world. It would only cause trouble.
I broke one of the unsaid rules of the transmigrators, and perhaps, due to this, I may even get killed by this very lady.
But it was okay. Death was not the end. At least for a Jinx like me who was not allowed to die.
Having heard everything, the lady got up. In response, I stood up as well.
She took a step towards me and looked down on me. I was a head shorter than her and had to look up to meet her gaze.
"How did you look in the past?"
"I don't know. I can't remember anything. Not my name, not my looks, nothing. I only remember the experiences." I said honestly.
"What do you know of Julien?"
"Nothing."
"Then how could you say he died?" The lady was serious when she asked this.
I sighed and replied without getting intimidated, "Isn't my existence enough proof? If I exist, then he has certainly died. There cannot be more than one soul occupying a body at a time."
"Is that so?" The lady asked calmly.
Her calm demeanor and the current look was completely different from the gentle, motherly appearance she had when I saw her initially.
I was starting to get terrified and she was so tall that she was casting a shadow on me.
Still, I did not waver and said, "Yes."
The lady then extended her hand out, showing me her palm. It was right in front of my face.
Her skin was smooth and seemed really soft to touch, just from appearance alone.
This was my first time ever coming in such close proximity of a woman. Honestly, my heart was beating fast as I got these new experiences.
"Watch."
I heard the lady's voice, and in a few seconds, on top of her palm, something bright came slithering like a snake.
It seemed to be coming from behind my shoulder, and once it reached the lady's palm, it coiled itself and formed a sphere.
So this was a world of magic. If I had any doubts before, now they are all gone.
"What do you think is this?" The lady questioned.
"I do not know." I shook my head and answered honestly
The lady's eyes turned gentle as she answered, "It's a soul strand. Not just any soul strand, it's your soul strand."
"…"
I frowned and stared at it, then turned my head up to look at the lady, then back down at the strand.
What? What the fuck!?
A soul strand!?!
Meaning a strand of my soul!?
How was this lady able to peel it from my soul without me feeling anything? What magic was this?
"Now that you've looked at your soul. Look at this…"
A similar strand slithered from behind the lady's shoulder and formed a sphere beside mine.
"They look the same, don't they?" The lady asked with a soft smile.
I gave her a slight nod in response and wondered where this was going… to be honest, I wasn't paying much attention to this as I was still thinking of how she could peel a strand out from my soul.
"Now look…" the lady grabbed my attention. This time I was looking.
The two spheres on her palm began moving closer. They did not collide, but seemed to be blending together.
The small smile on the lady's face was slowly broadening as she watched the spheres along with me.
In no time, they fully blended and there lay only one sphere on her palm.
"Do you see this?" She asked.
"Yeah?"
The lady bent down to meet my eye level while keeping her palm still.
"This is your answer." She said softly. "Your soul strand perfectly blends with mine."
She moved her hands and pulled the soul strands, changing their shape from a sphere to a straight string.
The bright string illuminated both our faces and the lady in front seemed as beautiful as the moon. Her clear blue eyes turned to mine and she continued.
"Souls are unique and incompatible with others. However, when a child is born, a small imprint of the mother's soul is left on the child's soul as a natural part of the birth process. This imprint allows their souls to recognize and connect with each other in a way that no other souls can."
My anxiety was flaring. I felt as if someone's palm was lingering on my heart, ready to crush it any minute.
I was breathing heavily and my heartbeat quickened.
The lady let go of the string and it flew back into my body, disappearing.
She then gently held my face and said as softly as she could, "I understand your past, my dear. With the whole universe against you, it has been really hard on you."
Ahh… this is the absolute worst.
Don't show me such gentleness. Don't show me such care. Don't get attached.
Please stay away.
Please stay away…
"You are my child." The lady said with absolute conviction. "There is no denying that."
"But—"
"No." She shook her head and stopped me from speaking. "If you think you replaced my Julien, then why do you not have memories of his life? All sorts of possession arts allow for memory retention. How do you not know anything then?"
I knitted my brows. What was this? How do I even answer this?
Looking at me not knowing anything, the lady smiled and shook her head.
"I'm sure you don't even know what you look like or whom your face, eyes, hair, nose, ears, and lips resemble."
She then looked at me with a teasing smile and asked, "Guess what your hair color is?"
I was a bit baffled. The mood was changing and the tense atmosphere didn't seem as tense anymore.
I shook my head and said, "I don't know."
"You can guess anything." She gave me a lot of leeway.
I saw her golden hair and asked, "Yellow?"
She smiled and plucked a strand of my hair, then showed it to me. It was black.
"Come with me." She got up, held my wrist, and pulled me towards a certain corner of the room where a lot of picture frames were hanging.
Pointing at a raven-haired toddler she held in her arms, she said, "Have a look."
I did. I had a look. The toddler seemed bored while in her arms.
She then pointed at another picture, it was of the same boy, but roughly ten to twelve years of age.
The boy seemed bored and had a lifeless look in his blue eyes. They weren't as clear and bright as the lady's. They were quite dim.
When I finished having a look, she pointed at another picture, this time the boy seemed older and undergoing puberty.
"This was you, just a month ago." She said in a soft voice.
The eyes… they were still lifeless. The boy seemed to be zoned out, no, he seemed like a living corpse with the way he appeared.
The lady turned to look at me and raised both my hands in front of her chest, then held it.
"My dear…" She took a step close to me, then bent down to meet my eye level. "Ever since you were born, you have had this lifeless look in your eyes. You seemed to be in the present but were so distant. You were…"
She carefully chose her words.
"…you were acting like a pre-programmed machine. If I asked you to sit, you would sit. If I asked you to play, you would play. You did not have any reasoning or logical thinking whatsoever. You were alive…"
The lady felt a lump in her throat. She closed her eyes, trying to make the tears disappear, and opening them again, said, "…yet not so much at the same time."
I was silent. Completely silent.
I may be broken, but I was not stupid or irrational to not understand what was happening here.
Listening to the lady speak reminded me of the lotus lady's words, which went:
"…I will also ease some of your suffering initially and let you have a peaceful life…"
"…I would also be helping you reincarnate properly…"
I see. Now I understand what she meant by easing my suffering and helping me reincarnate properly.
I did not replace Julien like I thought I did. No, the situation was completely different.
"…two days ago… Sophie said you moved on your own and fell down."
The lady's words brought me back to the present.
"I was so happy to have heard this, but then we found out that you were poisoned. You were on the verge of death. I was so heartbroken that I couldn't sleep or eat."
When she said sleep, I unknowingly looked at her eyes, under which I saw heavy dark circles which I had previously ignored. She did seem tired from the way her face was.
The lady then shook her head. "Anyway… coming to the present, I could not express the happiness I felt when I saw you speak on your own accord. However, it was short-lived as you kept saying you weren't my child."
She gently cupped my face with her palms.
"But now…"
I took a deep breath. I could figure out what she was about to say.
Every piece fell into place and the puzzle was finally solved.
"…everything points at you being my child, my baby, my Julien. And you, my dear, just had your awakening."
Sigh…
That's right…
The identity I kept rejecting all along…
…was my own.
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