Chapter 5: Diddyshibo
"Is… Is that Kokushibo?" Jashin muttered, his eyebrows furrowing as a chill ran down his spine. He tried to keep his voice steady, but the slight wobble betrayed his growing panic.
After all, if you suddenly saw a character from a manga you only had memories of, you'd probably be sweating too.
Especially if that character just so happened to be Upper Moon 1, the walking definition of "you're screwed."
Jashin squinted at the figure, trying to convince himself he was hallucinating. But nope—there he was, standing in all his six-eyed, fleshy-katana-wielding glory.
Meanwhile, Kokushibo—or "Kobushino," as Jashin accidentally called him in his flustered brain—turned his head toward the boy.
His six eyes, filled with boredom and an aura that screamed "Why am I even here?", landed on Jashin.
Jashin swore he could hear those eyes silently screaming:
"GOSH, I HATE DOING OVERTIME! AND I HATE MY JOB!"
But despite the imagined inner monologue, Kokushibo looked as unbothered as a Greek god lounging on Mount Olympus.
Chill. Majestic. Completely at ease. Meanwhile, Jashin's fight-or-flight instincts kicked in with such force, he was already mentally mapping the fastest escape route.
You see, Jashin isn't one of those hot-blooded, never-back-down, fight-for-glory types. Nah, bro's got his priorities straight.
"If I can't win, I'm running. Glory? Reputation? Can I eat those? No? Then I don't need 'em," he always says.
And let's be real—Jashin was seven.
What was he supposed to do against a full-grown adult with six freaking eyes and a katana that looked like it had its own heartbeat?
Turn into a human KitKat? Best-case scenario, he'd only lose a limb or two.
Jashin clenched his fists and took a shaky step back, his inner monologue on full volume:
"This is not the kind of unpaid overtime I signed up for, and no way in hell am I sticking around to find out what happens next."
As Jashin was about to make a break for it, Kokushibo suddenly appeared right in front of him like he'd just unlocked a cheat code. Because, let's be honest, bro's built different.
"Where do you think you're going?"
Kokushibo's voice was colder than your ex's heart, and before Jashin could even process what was happening, Kokushibo raised his hand and delivered a chop to the neck so precise it could've been sponsored by Ginsu knives.
Jashin didn't just faint—he fainted-fainted. Lights out. Body on shutdown.
'Hmm… How many children did Muzan-sama tell me to kidnap this time?' Kokushibo thought, his six eyes narrowing like he was trying to remember whether he left the stove on.
Grabbing Jashin's wrist, he inspected the unconscious kid.
"This child doesn't look special… I don't think he'll survive that place," he muttered, shaking his head like a disappointed teacher grading a pop quiz.
Then, louder, he commanded, "Nakime, take him."
A sharp biwa sound echoed through the air as a door materialized beneath Jashin, who was now awkwardly dangling in Kokushibo's grasp.
For a moment, Kokushibo held onto his wrist, as though debating whether this kid would be worth the trouble.
"I hope you don't get Backshot there, kid," Kokushibo said with what could almost be considered pity—if pity were delivered by a terrifying six-eyed swordsman.
Then, he released Jashin's wrist, sending the boy plummeting through the portal as the doors slammed shut.
With Jashin out of sight, Kokushibo slowly turned his attention to the rundown village sprawled out before him.
His expression darkened, and he muttered under his breath, "Shall I kidnap more children now?"
{A/N: Bro's about to become Diddy at this rate. Kidnap-squad energy.}
As Kokushibo stepped into the village, he didn't just stroll in—he brought the apocalypse with him.
Anyone older than twelve? Sliced like a KitKat bar. Limbs flying, blood spraying—it was an all-you-can-eat buffet of carnage.
{A/N: See! That's why Koku's the GOAT. He was KitKat-ing people before it was cool.}
Anyone younger than twelve?
Well, they weren't getting a free pass either. Kokushibo knocked them out cold with a single chop to the neck, sending them into a forced nap faster than you can say "bedtime."
One by one, the unconscious kids were teleported to that place by Nakime's biwa magic.
And just like that, Kokushibo kept the kidnapping spree rolling like it was all in a day's work.
Kokushibo's rampage wasn't about to show favoritism, and Jashin's family was no exception.
He mercilessly sliced through Mama Capitalist Pig, Papa Capitalist Pig, Big Brother Capitalist Pig, and Big Sister Capitalist Pig—none of whom could pass the
"younger than 12 or shiny skin" survival criteria. Seriously, no sparkly skin? Get outta here.
However, three of Jashin's younger siblings made the cut, their unconscious bodies teleported to the same mysterious location as Jashin by none other than Diddyshibo himself.
"Sigh… I hate my job," Kokushibo muttered dramatically, gazing up at the moon like a tragic anti-hero in a soap opera.
His kimono was drenched in blood as he slid his katana back into its sheath, officially done with his nightly kitkat spree.
Meanwhile…
"Huh… Where am I?" Jashin thought as he blinked into consciousness—or so he thought—finding himself surrounded by an endless, pitch-black void.
It was the kind of black so dark that it made voids in anime look like daytime television.
The suffocating emptiness triggered a memory Jashin had desperately tried to suppress.
His days as a fetus.
"NOT THIS AGAIN!!!"
The familiar, inescapable backdrop of nothingness was already unraveling Jashin's sanity. Bro was about five seconds away from screaming, but fate (or cosmic trolling) intervened.
A blinding light appeared.
"Wh-What's that?!" Jashin's reflexes kicked in, and he shut his eyes so tight it was as if the universe had challenged him to a staring contest.
Spoiler: he didn't want to become Gyomei 2.0 this early in life—or ever.
But the light wasn't done flexing.
It transformed into a massive, celestial dragon. Before Jashin could even register what was happening, the dragon surged forward, entering his tightly shut eyes like it had VIP access.
Weirdly, Jashin didn't feel pain. Not even discomfort. It was like the dragon politely RSVP'd before hijacking his ocular real estate.
Minutes later, Jashin cautiously opened his eyes. At first, everything seemed normal. No blindness, no missing eyeballs.
Then, it happened.
A black slit appeared, slicing through the center of his pupils like a glitch in the Matrix. Golden blood flowed into his eyes, dyeing his pupils in shimmering gold with a sinister black outline.
{Image Here}
It was like his vision had just gotten a serious upgrade from basic mortal settings to legendary mode.
And then, just like that, Jashin woke up.
"GASP!"
{A/N: Okay, this wraps up the three-chapter foundation period of this fic. From here on out, I'll be diving deeper into details and aiming to improve the quality with every chapter!
Please feel free to drop comments for encouragement, suggestions, or just random jokes. Let's make this fic a wild ride!}
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