3Reviews
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A Yuta self insert has great potential You can use AI to help with grammar and other proof reading works
Great work. I like it. If you work on some things,it will be great. Grammar and pacing is great. But dialogue delivery and story could use some work. also, use (' ) for thinking and (") for speaking. it is confusing sometimes. write in small paragraphs while describing something. and when talking, use one dialogue in one line. Don't make another chapter with the same content only with diff. pov just to show what the other person was thinking.(like with Megumi meeting yuta,only things diff. in that chapter was him thinking that yuta is not arrogant.) write conversation between characters just as you talk with people. Don't over explain just for readers. Him forgetting rikka and no one told him, the explanation was not good.(doctor saying to parents to not tell him). at least you should have acknowledge her properly. your reaction to higher-ups arrogance was good. It shows that mc is diff. from other fanfic mc. it was a mature reaction. no need to make enemies without any reason. yuta has family. Interaction between characters is little bit plain. not much but just a little. Btw you did a great a great job. thankyou for your hardwork.
The story is quite interesting, but the chapters are quite short and and the plot develops slowly (which is not a flaw). But the story is clearly worth reading.
A Yuta self insert has great potential You can use AI to help with grammar and other proof reading works
Great work. I like it. If you work on some things,it will be great. Grammar and pacing is great. But dialogue delivery and story could use some work. also, use (' ) for thinking and (") for speaking. it is confusing sometimes. write in small paragraphs while describing something. and when talking, use one dialogue in one line. Don't make another chapter with the same content only with diff. pov just to show what the other person was thinking.(like with Megumi meeting yuta,only things diff. in that chapter was him thinking that yuta is not arrogant.) write conversation between characters just as you talk with people. Don't over explain just for readers. Him forgetting rikka and no one told him, the explanation was not good.(doctor saying to parents to not tell him). at least you should have acknowledge her properly. your reaction to higher-ups arrogance was good. It shows that mc is diff. from other fanfic mc. it was a mature reaction. no need to make enemies without any reason. yuta has family. Interaction between characters is little bit plain. not much but just a little. Btw you did a great a great job. thankyou for your hardwork.
The story is quite interesting, but the chapters are quite short and and the plot develops slowly (which is not a flaw). But the story is clearly worth reading.