Chapter 22: This Trainee Fatui Harbinger is Too Unreliable [22]
In the end, Luo Qing's hopes of sharing a bed with Rosalyne remained unfulfilled. His survival instincts kicked in just before her patience reached its breaking point, and he made a hasty exit.
Of course, if he hadn't known the whereabouts of Rex Lapis, Rosalyne might very well have incinerated him on the spot.
Luo Qing waited for a while in the hotel lobby. Soon enough, Rosalyne appeared, dressed in a simple, understated outfit, a far cry from the ornate dress she had worn the night before.
"Lead the way, and I hope you're not trying to deceive me," Rosalyne said coldly.
She was the ultimate purist, and if Luo Qing weren't her colleague, who happened to know Morax's location, she would've burned him to ashes for his offhand remarks.
"Of course not. Just follow me," Luo Qing replied with a grin, paying no mind to Rosalyne's icy expression.
They walked together through the streets of Liyue until they arrived at the front of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Its doors were tightly shut, and aside from the commission board outside, the entrance was deserted.
"Oh? This is the place? Looks like no one's here," Rosalyne said, arms crossed, giving Luo Qing a dangerous look that practically screamed: You better have a good explanation, or I'll turn you to ash.
"Relax, Lady Rosalyne. No need to rush," Luo Qing said calmly, as if expecting her skepticism.
He stepped up to the commission board and picked up a small wooden plaque. The front was blank, ready for a message, but the back bore a playful inscription in a cutesy font: "Buy One Stele, Get One Free."
It was one of the quirky marketing strategies of a certain young Funeral Parlor Director.
Luo Qing took a deep breath, raised his fist, and pounded on the door. He shouted:
"Director Hu! Time to wake up and open for business!"
According to Natalia's gossip, if the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor was closed in the morning, it was likely because Hu Tao, the Director, was still sleeping in. A little "wake-up call" would usually do the trick.
After a few heavy knocks, Luo Qing heard hurried footsteps from the other side of the door, accompanied by the sound of things being knocked over.
"Ugh... who's in such a rush to set off?"
Hu Tao opened the door, rubbing her eyes. In her haste to answer the door, she was still half-dressed: one of her socks was only pulled halfway up her ankle, and her crimson collar was unbuttoned, revealing her pale neck and collarbone. Even her oversized hat was askew, several stray strands of hair poking out.
When her eyes finally focused, revealing those plum blossom irises, Luo Qing's heart skipped a beat.
Too cute. I...
"Director Hu, we have a commission. We'd like to speak with your consultant, Zhongli," Luo Qing said, trying to remain composed.
"Huh? You woke me up so urgently just to see Zhongli?" Hu Tao pouted, clearly annoyed at being disturbed.
Damn... so cute. I—
Luo Qing felt as though an arrow had struck his heart. Was cuteness the world's most dangerous weapon?
"Ahem... Perhaps I'd consider buying a stele," Luo Qing said nonchalantly. With the Northland Bank backing him, a little expense like this was trivial.
"Really?! You've come at the perfect time; we're running a promotion: buy one stele, get one free!" Hu Tao's eyes lit up, her annoyance vanishing instantly. She swung the door wide open and dragged Luo Qing inside.
Meanwhile, Rosalyne followed them in, frowning in confusion.
Once inside, Hu Tao seemed to realize she was still half-dressed. She quickly excused herself, leaving Luo Qing and Rosalyne in the lobby while she dashed upstairs to make herself presentable.
"What exactly is this Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?" Rosalyne asked, staring at the sign above the door with its bold black characters. She couldn't shake the feeling that something was... off.
"Liyue's top funeral service provider," Luo Qing said, sipping the tea Hu Tao had left out. "They handle everything from burials to spiritual rites, even gravestone inscriptions and burning offerings."
"..." Rosalyne's expression remained blank.
"Would you like to consider it, Lady Rosalyne? We're in a high-risk profession, after all. You never know when you might meet an untimely end. The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor specializes in dignified services. Even if you die in Inazuma, they'll make sure you're brought back for a proper send-off."
"Hmph. Should I take that as a curse?" Rosalyne's tone was frosty. His mouth is just as obnoxious as that Scaramouche's.
"Not at all. I'm just offering a practical suggestion. Of course, it'd be ideal if you lived a long life, Lady Rosalyne..." Luo Qing said, taking another sip to hide his smile.
Before long, Hu Tao reappeared, now fully dressed and holding a stack of pamphlets. She ran over excitedly and thrust them at Luo Qing.
"Here are our latest burial... I mean, funeral packages. Which one would you like?"
"Uh... We're mainly here to see Consultant Zhongli," Luo Qing said, eyeing the exorbitantly priced full-service packages on the pamphlet.
"Hm?"
Hu Tao held the pamphlets close to her chest, her plum blossom eyes narrowing. Her gaze seemed to say: No stele, no Zhongli.
"..."
"Fine, we'll take the most expensive package," Luo Qing sighed. The Northland Bank's money wasn't his, so why not spend freely?
"Really?"
"I'm serious," he affirmed.
"Yes! A completed sale!" Hu Tao's face lit up as she practically bounced with excitement. "Any special requests for your service? Perhaps a favorite song during the ceremony, specific types of spirit money, or should we burn a house or clothes as offerings?"
"Also, full payment in advance, as per our policy!" she added, grinning.
"..."
Luo Qing turned to Rosalyne and suggested with a straight face, "It's a buy one, get one free deal. Should we go halves on it? You can get a stele too."
"..."
Half an Hour Later
After enduring a barrage of Hu Tao's unique "services," both Luo Qing (and a reluctant Rosalyne) had become proud owners of underground real estate—pre-purchased plots for their future graves. Even if they met their end in foreign lands, the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor would ensure their remains received a grand farewell.
Hu Tao was delighted, surprised that such profitable business had come knocking just after her morning nap.
Rosalyne, on the other hand, was seething. She couldn't shake the feeling that Luo Qing had somehow jinxed her. If they didn't meet Morax today, she swore she would scatter his ashes herself.
Not even the Tsaritsa could stop her. She promised.
"Director Hu, we've bought the package. Now, can we finally see Consultant Zhongli?" Luo Qing asked.
"Well... Zhongli is merely a consultant, not a full-time employee here. If you want to meet him, you need a bit of luck and timing~" Hu Tao replied, smiling.
"So, you don't actually know when he'll be here, do you?"
"Exactly," she said, nodding.
"..."
Luo Qing felt a chill run down his spine. When he turned, Rosalyne's eyes had gone cold—murderous, even.
She'd followed Luo Qing around all morning, only to end up buying a tombstone and fielding bizarre questions from this strange girl about whether she and Luo Qing wanted to be buried together.
Rosalyne was a warrior of pure-hearted devotion! To suggest something like this was practically dancing on her landmine!
If it weren't for the hope of meeting Morax, she would've burned down this whole establishment long ago.
Luo Qing's mind raced as he saw Rosalyne's temper flaring. He considered using Time Zero to whisk her out of there before Hu Tao bore the brunt of her rage, but just then, footsteps echoed from the entrance.
A man in a brown robe, patterned with dragon scales, stepped calmly inside.
---
T/N: Oh Hu Tao...
Chapter 23: This Trainee Fatui Harbinger is Too Unreliable [23]
Hu Tao waved cheerfully as Zhongli stepped inside. She then walked over to him, looking uncharacteristically serious.
"These two are our five-star customers at the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. They've got a request for you, so make sure to take good care of them, okay?" With that, she grabbed the receipt and headed to the back to file it away.
Zhongli turned to face Luo Qing and Rosalyne, his expression calm and inquisitive.
"Since the two of you are esteemed clients of Director Hu, may I ask what business brings you to me?" he asked politely.
"This isn't the right place to talk. Zhongli, would you mind if we went somewhere more private?" Luo Qing suggested, glancing at Rosalyne. Given her fiery temper, he had no doubt she'd blurt out "Morax" within moments if they stayed here, potentially blowing Zhongli's cover.
"Very well," Zhongli agreed with a nod.
Outside Liyue Harbor, at the outskirts of Lisha
Liyue was a bustling city, its population dense, and Ningguang's informants were everywhere. Unsure where to have a private conversation, Luo Qing suggested they move outside the city to avoid any prying eyes. The outskirts of Lisha seemed like a suitable choice.
The three of them sat down in a quiet pavilion. But before Luo Qing or Rosalyne could speak, Zhongli broke the silence, his gaze fixed on Rosalyne.
"Is she ready?" he asked softly.
"Hmph, that's none of your concern, Morax," Rosalyne scoffed, arms crossed, her expression defiant. "All you need to do is honor your agreement with Her Majesty the Tsaritsa—fulfill your contract and hand over the Gnosis!"
Zhongli regarded her coolly, unperturbed. "I will fulfill the contract I made with her. However, I still wonder if now is the right time."
He glanced back towards Liyue Harbor, his face reflective.
To relinquish the Gnosis meant to forfeit his identity as a god, and without the protection of an Archon, Liyue's fate was no longer something he could predict.
"Zhongli, are you worried that Liyue will crumble without a god's protection?" Luo Qing asked, his tone calm.
"Indeed. Liyue is like a child learning to walk, with its hand still held by its parents. Once that hand is withdrawn, who knows if it will stumble or stride forward."
"Ha, the Gnosis is merely a symbol for you, isn't it? What, are you trying to tell me that the mighty Morax, who once waged war across the land, can't protect Liyue without it?" Rosalyne's voice was sharp, laced with disdain.
Luo Qing shot Rosalyne a sideways glance, thinking to himself that this gentleness was only possible because Zhongli's temperament had mellowed over the years. Back during the Archon War, she wouldn't have finished that sentence before being skewered by a stone spear.
"Lady Rosalyne, I think you're missing the point. Mr. Zhongli here is simply looking to retire, isn't that right?" Luo Qing said with a knowing smile.
"..."
"Indeed," Zhongli replied with a small nod.
Though Luo Qing's phrasing was blunt, it captured the essence of his thoughts.
"The age of gods is over, and the era of humans is dawning. Liyue has walked alongside gods for 3,700 years since its founding. But the old gods will inevitably depart, and I am unsure if Liyue is truly prepared to embrace this new era."
"So, until you confirm Liyue can thrive without the presence of the Geo Archon, you're not planning to hand over the Gnosis?" Rosalyne's eyes narrowed, her irritation growing.
"We don't have the luxury of waiting for you to play your games," she snapped.
"Lady Rosalyne," Luo Qing leaned in and whispered, "you might want to hold back. If this man decides to make a move, neither of us stand a chance."
Rosalyne's expression didn't soften in the least; if anything, her disdain deepened. To her, Luo Qing's warning merely labeled him as a coward.
Turning his attention back to Zhongli, Luo Qing noted the Archon's pensive expression. He didn't look like someone who had orchestrated a test of mortals against gods and adepti. Luo Qing decided to lay out his idea.
"If Zhongli wants to gauge Liyue's strength without him, why not conduct an abdication test? Let's see if Liyue can withstand the tides without the Geo Archon."
"A test of abdication... an interesting suggestion. Would you care to elaborate, young friend?" Zhongli asked, intrigued.
"Ah, young friend is too formal. Please, just call me Luo Qing," he replied with a grin.
"Luo Qing... Are you from Liyue?" Zhongli asked, curious.
"Not exactly. I grew up in Snezhnaya, a true winter child at heart."
"..."
"Then, please, Luo Qing, go ahead."
"Certainly."
Luo Qing patted Rosalyne's shoulder, signaling her to stay quiet, and continued.
"Zhongli, you're well aware of the issues Liyue faces, correct? The distancing of the adepti, the dangers brewing beneath the sea—these are all concerns of yours."
Zhongli nodded, his gaze steady.
"Why not bring all these problems to the surface at once, forcing Liyue to face them head-on?" Luo Qing suggested. "Pressure reveals a person's true limits, and the same goes for nations."
"What do you mean?" Zhongli inquired, intrigued.
"Simple. If you want to see how Liyue fares without you, then just fake your death."
"With the Rite of Descension approaching, all you need to do is simulate your demise in front of Liyue's people. We at the Fatui will handle the rest. You can remain as you are now—a mere mortal—and observe the unfolding events," Luo Qing explained.
Initially, Luo Qing assumed that Zhongli had masterminded the plan to fake his death, but after observing Zhongli's uncertainty, he realized the Archon might not have fully fleshed out his scheme. Since he was already here, he had no problem giving the legendary strategist a nudge in the right direction.
Besides, this way, he might earn extra credit when he eventually reported back to Her Majesty the Tsaritsa.
"A staged death, hmm..." Zhongli mused.
"It's certainly a bold idea, Luo Qing."
"Well then, Zhongli, do you agree?" Luo Qing pressed.
"Yes... it's worth attempting," Zhongli nodded slowly.
From there, Luo Qing laid out the details of the plan, covering everything: inciting tension between Liyue's human and adepti populations, manipulating Childe into becoming an unwitting pawn, and finally releasing Osial beneath the waters of Guyun Stone Forest.
The thoroughness of the plan left Zhongli and Rosalyne slightly taken aback.
Zhongli seemed intrigued by the proposal, and even when Luo Qing mentioned potential casualties during Osial's release, the Archon made no move to object. He had already accepted that if bloodshed was the price of progress, then it was a price worth paying.
Truly a man shaped by the Archon War.
An agreement was quickly reached. Zhongli would concoct a convincing death scene to enact during the Rite of Descension, while Luo Qing and Rosalyne would wait for Childe's arrival and manipulate him into playing his part. The three of them would then retreat to the shadows to enjoy the spectacle over a cup of tea.
If Liyue couldn't handle Osial, Zhongli would intervene to end the chaos himself.
Once their discussion was over, Zhongli returned to the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to prepare for his grand exit, leaving Luo Qing and Rosalyne alone in the pavilion.
With the plan now in motion, the Gnosis retrieval was practically secured. Regardless of the final outcome, Rosalyne would have the Geo Archon's Gnosis to present to the Tsaritsa.
Yet, for reasons she couldn't quite understand, she felt irritated. From the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor to the meeting with Morax, she felt like she was playing second fiddle to Luo Qing, as if he were the one leading and she merely his follower.
Her long-cultivated pride chafed at the thought.
But Luo Qing hadn't technically done anything wrong, so she couldn't justify lashing out. She decided to wait—biding her time for the moment when Luo Qing would inevitably cross a line.
When that time came, she'd be ready.
Just you wait.
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