Chapter 16: Goblin-in-law, First Daughter, Prima Dominance, Caring Hubby (2)
"Husband. Come back, talk later." Prima then stated incontestably.
"As you say."
"Come, old one. We talk now."
"It's not wise to leave him here alone."
"Husband not harm them. If Husband do, Prima kill him. Throw Husband fire pit first, shit-pit last."
The way she said it was ice cold. I had no doubt she meant every word of it. Not that I was about to kill my first child, even if she was a goblin in appearance. I had lovey-dovey consensual sex that turned into egregiously enjoyable sleeping rape halfway through with her mother the night before.
Where I come from, that counted for something as far as I was concerned.
I stayed with Berry throughout the night along with the two other goblins who also stayed in her room. They were there mainly to keep a watchful set of eyes on the child while Berry was going to be passed out from exhaustion after her sudden delivery. I took a peek at her messy downstairs, and god damn my daughter must have clawed its way out of her like a horror movie monster or something. I rather wished I hadn't looked, and regretted that I didn't know anything about obstetrics or proper first aid. I hoped she was as strong at self healing now as she was when she survived whatever gave her that scar, because I didn't want her to die from any complications like hemorrhaging too much blood after giving birth.
The night was mostly uneventful. The female goblins took turns watching the baby while I lifted Berry's head and slid my arm underneath her, letting her use it as a pillow. I stroked her face and hair and just kind of hoped she rested well. Diana had gotten around to eating the rest of the placenta attached to her umbilical cord, but not the cord itself. It just dangled onto the floor and dragged around. It would fall off soon, I figured. I didn't feel like questioning goblin genetics and immunology. It's well documented that they thrived and multiplied like cockroaches wherever they lived, so I'm sure this child of mine will be perfectly fine and healthy for now. Berry also understands the importance of cleanliness, so I'm doubly sure there was nothing to worry about immediately.
I hadn't given names to these two goblins who stayed with Berry yet, nor did I offer to choose either of them as the two I would give big seed to tomorrow as per my agreement with Prima. I guess they were as close to friends as Berry had, because neither of them stole or raided from her at all, at least that I could tell. They did talk quite a bit, however, and I learned that one of them liked to make things out of bones, and the other grew mushrooms in her cave-hole.
I had also learned the truth about my room, and it wasn't what I had thought at all.
It was a breeding pit, yes. But it wasn't meant for or previously occupied by human females. Apparently, it was created immediately prior to my arrival. There was a concern by some being the two goblins–Mushroom-picker and Bone-taker–called the Great Protector that I might be claustrophobic. Well, the words they used meant as much, anyway. So, the room was made to be tall, wide, and deep for me. And by me, I meant that there was a plan in the works to capture a human male for the task of being a breeding stud to the goblins of this tribe, and me with my incredible luck just so happened to land the job.
Yay.
I also learned a bit about the elderly goblin who spoke near perfectly. They called her the old one, and apparently she was the sole surviving female from the time before this tribe of all female goblins became just that. She was around back when there were goblin men in the tribe, and she had tried to protect the goblin females who were all children of less than four moons in age from a large party of humans that had come to wipe out the goblin tribe they had all belonged to.
The humans had almost damn well succeeded at the time, having killed all the menfolk as well as most of the adult women. Only the Old One was alive, hiding in the furthest recesses of their original cave-home with these children when the Great Protector came and wiped out all the humans to the last man. The Great Protector then guided the remnants of their tribe to this cave, and told the old one to teach the young ones how to be proper goblins. When the time came, a suitable method of ensuring their future would be provided, and, ha ha ha, guess who that suitable method turned out to be?
Because of that explanation, I guess I can understand why the Old One is wary of me, since I'm a human. She's right to be, too, since I am running the long con here, but she was wrong about the magic. I truly wasn't using any magic, I didn't lie about that. Without a wand or a focus orb, I really can't cast spells. That's because I'm a focus magician and not a formula magician. Most formula magicians are also students of alchemy, and that was way too much studying for me to really be all that interested in. I liked the whole whiz-bang side of magic far too much to want to play with an iron pot and dissected body parts only to make overcomplicated liquid aspirin.
There is no Paracelsus of alchemy here. No azoth or sorcerer's stone. No transmuting lead into gold. Alchemy is by and large bogus chemistry without the periodic table of elements to prop it up as a proper field of science. Also, I have no idea what the atomic weights of Orihalcum, Mythril, or Vernir happen to be.
"Do either of you two know Jewel?"
They did. Well, knew her as Stone-seeker at least. As it turns out, many goblins liked the shiny stones she collected, and often traded with her for them. All goblins liked sparkly things, but Jewel was the best at finding them, or at least the best quality ones, anyway. I had half a thought that she might have a topaz since that was the case. If she did, I might be able to barter something somehow and clear my name a bit as far as the nature of the magic I could employ to help the goblin tribe in a productive way.
Berry had woken up from a small nap, and wanted to hold her baby again. Diana was asleep, but she cradled her protectively, and she was such a color that it almost blended into Berry's deep scar.
"Husband. Diana strong hunter. Not use poison to hunt."
"What's wrong with using poison to hunt?"
"Only weak goblin need use poison to hunt."
"It's a smart way of hunting, though?" I countered. "You should teach her all about poisons. Even better if she becomes a goblin who uses a bow and arrow well. Teach her how to apply poisons safely to the tips of the arrows and she can hunt even better."
"Use poison… on arrow?"
"Humans do it when they hunt. We put poisons that make the arms and legs of our prey feel heavy with sleep, so they can't run far away once their skin has pierced, and are then easy to catch afterwards when the poison takes hold."
"Husband smart. Diana Artemis strong. Berry teach all poisons for hunting."
"Also, make sure to teach her where the tasty berries are."
"Husband greedy for berries?"
"And Berry." I said, flirting shamelessly with her.
"Husband not have enough of Berry?"
"Berry not have enough of Husband?"
"When fuckhole work again, Husband give more big seed?"
"As much as you want."
She sighed happily, then groaned.
"Big pointy stick in shithole dig cave-hole now."
"Husband, we talk." A small bit of torchlight revealed Prima entering Berry's cave-hole wishing to speak with me.
"Prima, good timing. Berry, I'm going to go talk with Prima for a little bit. I will come back hopefully with some good news for you."
"Not go anywhere." She said, and I carefully extracted myself from beside her, laying her head back down gently onto her straw bed. I gave her a kiss on the cheek, and one on Diana's head too, and made my way out of the room to join a waiting Prima.
"Sorry if I caused a problem with the old one."
"No problem Old One. Only problem not knowing what stupid inside Husband head."
"Yeah. I'm about to cause you another problem then."
"Maybe Prima tie up Husband so not cause problem."
"I'm just trying to be useful."
"Be useful, Husband only need give big seed all goblin tribe."
"I'm not trying to get out of that. What I need is for you to take me to Jewel right now."
"Why see Jewel?"
"I want to trade her a favor for one of her shiny stones, if she has a certain one I'm looking for."
"Magic stone?"
"This is why I said it was going to cause you another problem."
"Husband not ask Prima let use human magic?"
"Will you let me explain everything in detail before you tell me no?"
"I hit you first."
"Okay."
She slugged me right in the gut. If I had eaten anything besides those purple berries I shared with Berry earlier, I'd be barfing it up right now. I fell to my knees and gasped for air while clutching my stomach.
"Can…" I wheezed, "...I tell you now?"
"Speak."
"Topaz. I want to see if Jewel has a topaz stone I can borrow for a little while."
"Husband magic need topaz stone?"
"Yes. Magic to move dirt and rock–only dirt and rock. I want to use it on the wall in Berry's cave-hole. To make it bigger since she didn't have enough time to dig her room out before having her strong one… You can put your spear at my neck the whole time I'm doing it, I don't care. That is all I'm going to use it for."
"All Husband have say?"
"Yeah. That's all."
"Good. Answer no. Husband no let use magic. Ever."
I didn't argue further.
"Talk over. Go stay night Berry. No talk about magic again."
It didn't seem like I would be able to negotiate with Prima. I did take her up on her offer and spent the remainder of the night with Berry and Diana Artemis. I wasn't about to give up on being allowed to use magic to widen her room, I just needed to think of the best way to go about getting permission…
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone