Chapter 1: Genshin Impact's Incense Burner of Liyue. [1]
"Mr. Gu Sanqiu, let me ask you again. Why did you sneak out at night to disrupt public order, trespassing into private homes and even digging up landscape ponds?"
"Well, probably because... I wanted to find a treasure chest?"
Inside the interrogation room, the stern-faced man in ancient attire suddenly broke his composure.
"Who would hide a treasure chest in those places these days, you idiot!"
"Do you think those places are safer than the major banks of Liyue? What kind of mindset is that?"
(｀皿´)ﾉ
"Uh, don't be mad! Look, this time I was extra careful and didn't get noticed by the public. Isn't that a testament to the excellent education from the Millelith?"
"...Are you saying the Millelith has trained a progressively better thief?!"
(╯°Д°)╯︵┻━┻
"No, no, I didn't mean that, it was a slip of the tongue! Please, don't take that too seriously."
The young man in a black robe waved his hands frantically, showing a flattering smile.
"So, can I leave now?"
"Leave? Where do you want to go? To dig up more of your so-called treasure chests? Next, you'll be aiming for the Golden House, right?"
"Hey, hey, that's pure slander! Slander, I tell you!"
"Forget it, I'm done arguing with you."
The armored man, looking utterly exhausted, waved his right hand toward the door.
"Standard procedure. Lock him up in the confinement room for three days."
Gu Sanqiu obediently allowed himself to be taken away. Though his behavior had been a bit abnormal, he still wouldn't dare to "attack an officer" on the Millelith's turf.
"Yo, buddy, what a coincidence. You're here to sit in jail too?"
Inside the confinement room, a long-haired girl was gently swinging her legs and waved at Gu Sanqiu as he walked in.
"As the Hall Master, I can see you're quite energetic. So, how about reserving a special service from Wangsheng Funeral Parlor?"
"As we're friends, I can give you a 20% discount. And if you book our special service, even if you die in Cuijue Slope, Tianqiu Valley, or some obscure corner of Jueyun Karst, I can still bring you back."
The girl with the black hat lightly tapped her chin with her finger: "If you have any special requests, maybe I could even throw in a joyful funeral package?"
"Heh heh, maybe that's a potential business expansion opportunity."
"We're both stuck in here, so why bother thinking about all that..."
"Didn't expect to meet you today. Well then..."
Gu Sanqiu reached into his chest and pulled out a beautifully crafted box engraved with Mora and dragon patterns.
"Showtime?"
"Ho ho ho, come on, come on! I'll show you the power of this Hall Master!"
And so, three days later—
"Triple three."
"Bomb!"
Gu Sanqiu looked up, his face expressionless, staring at the girl in front of him: "Care to explain?"
"I'm playing with momentum, you know? The momentum of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor's Hall Master!"
"Alright then."
Gu Sanqiu brought his cards closer to her eyes.
"Now, how will the great Hall Master Hu Tao play out the rest of her cards?"
"Umm..."
Hu Tao pouted, observing her two hands of cards, then sneakily glanced up at Gu Sanqiu.
"Don't even try it. Ever since you pulled that card-switching trick last time, as long as you're a farmer, I'll be watching your every move."
Gu Sanqiu, chewing on a skewer of grilled mushrooms and chicken, said, "By the way, Wangsheng Funeral Parlor isn't far from Chihu Rock, so why don't you ever bring food when you're locked up? Every time, you eat my food for free."
"I don't have your convenient abilities! By the way, how do you do that trick? Is it the Vision?"
With cards in both hands, a large white "water droplet" emerged behind Hu Tao and gently fed a fragrant Golden Shrimp Ball into her mouth.
"Mmm~ this flavor, it's the limited monthly supply of jumbo tiger prawns from Xinyue Kiosk. What a treat~"
"Yeah, the bill will be sent to—"
"Hey!"
Hu Tao's eyes darted as she quickly threw all her cards on the ground and gathered the food plates closer to herself.
"We're all good friends here, and you're gonna charge me for a mere plate of Golden Shrimp Balls? That's just too much!"
Hu Tao pouted, her cheeks puffing up as she stuffed the remaining shrimp balls into her mouth.
"Mmmpff, thif is unfair..."
"Swallow first, then talk."
"You said it yourself, limited monthly ingredients. I let you eat such fresh food in the confinement room, and I'm not even charging you a service fee."
Gu Sanqiu remained expressionless: "You eat my shrimp balls, then throw my cards to cheat. You're no different from those old guys at the harbor who regret their chess moves."
"No worries, you two probably won't have the chance next time."
Both froze, their heads turning in sync towards the door, where a tall, burly figure stood with arms crossed, staring at them.
"Hey, Coach Fang Shi, long time no see~"
Hu Tao waved enthusiastically: "Sanqiu brought lots of food. Want to join us?"
"Don't listen to her nonsense."
Gu Sanqiu quickly stood up and smiled, shaking the man's hand.
"Coach Fangpan, you've been working hard on your official business trips. It's an honor to have you personally release two criminals like us, I'm truly grateful."
...
"I don't even know what to say."
Fangpan sighed, pointing outside: "Let's go. Your confinement time is over. I hope I don't see you two again next time. Are you using the confinement room as a vacation spot?"
"Okay, okay, we'll leave right away."
Eye signal exchange.
Hu Tao quickly stood up, even cleaning up the trash out of courtesy, then gave Gu Sanqiu a thumbs-up.
Perfect teamwork.
Fangpan, holding his weapon, watched the two walk away together, sighing heavily.
"Sigh, one's the current Hall Master of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, and the other's the last heir of Liyue's incense burner lineage."
"How did it end up like this..."
"Hey, Coach Fang, I think these two youngsters are quite entertaining. At least they're not like the uptight nobles from Feiyun Slope, right?"
"They're young, so a bit of mischief is no big deal. As long as they don't cross any major lines, this will all just be fond memories one day."
Fangpan's face shifted as he sharply eyed his subordinate.
"You brat, did you slack off and sneak out to listen to storytelling while I was away on my trip? Come clean!"
"I know you guys too well! With your level of education, there's no way you came up with those poetic words!"
...
"Whatever you do, don't send the bill to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. Bye-bye~"
(ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ
Hu Tao waved her hands, forming a "super fierce" gesture with her fingers, while Gu Sanqiu yawned and waved goodbye as he headed home.
After bathing and changing into clean clothes, Gu Sanqiu solemnly held three sticks of incense and respectfully placed them into a large cauldron engraved with mountain, river, and animal motifs.
"Geo Lord, please bless me..."
Gu Sanqiu smirked: "Brother Zhongli, Great Lord Zhongli, bless me, please. I fed your Hall Master some limited-edition Golden Shrimp Balls, so please give me a good drop tonight."
After his playful prayer, Gu Sanqiu burned more incense, recited the family's secret prayer, and finally walked out of the incense-filled, solemn room.
"Now then, let's see what treasure tonight will bring."
Gu Sanqiu gently pointed forward with his left hand, and a black vortex appeared before him.
"Lord Zhongli, bless me with some gold. I promise I'll take care of Wangsheng's business tomorrow. At worst, I'll buy a few expensive coffins to burn as firewood."
With a flick of his right hand, a pure gold fishing rod appeared, and with a skilled motion, the long fishing line plunged into the vortex.
"Let's get that loot!"
---
If you spot any mistakes let me know so I can fix them.
Read up to Chapter 30! [P@treon.com/WiseTL]
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