Chapter 56: Chapter 53: Broken Heart
Phew! That was close!
When all was said and done, this had been a pretty productive day. Both Eterna and Verner had awakened, and the octopus had died. Eterna was back under control, and no one had been hurt too badly.
We're doing great, if you ask me!
Obviously, some people had sustained a couple of injuries—including random dudette—and there was a bit of material damage, but it wasn't all that bad.
Random dudette's expulsion had been moved up, though. Instead of being dismissed at the end of the month, she would be expelled today. I wasn't sure she'd done anything worthy of immediate expulsion, but she was so gross I didn't bother opposing the decision.
Besides, I was worried Layla would actually off her if she stayed at the academy for too long. As much as I wished I could say that Layla would never kill a student...uh, I'd seen her eyes earlier. She hadn't been joking around. The farther that weirdo was from Layla, the safer she'd be. Hopefully, she'd find something to like about herself instead of obsessing over me.
Several students had seen us fight on the roof, but we'd pretended this was all a mock battle.
After the sun had set, I headed back to the roof. I wanted to fix the damage before I was sent a bill. That way, I could pretend nothing had happened.
Moreover, the roof was practically a holy place for loners—um, I mean proud and independent students. I knew that for the people who barely had any friends—or none at all—the roof was the only place where they could eat lunch without having to worry about how others viewed them. If this holy place was closed off for repairs, these kids would despair. As a fellow hopeless member of society, I didn't want to add to their pain.
As I approached, though, I heard a voice.
Who could it be at this hour? Wait, is it a couple getting frisky? Are they gonna go:
"Nooo, doing it on the roof is so embarrassing..."
"Keep your voice down, babe, people will hear."
If something like that was actually underway...I couldn't intrude. No, I'd simply watch discreetly.
"I can't believe I'm the one who did all this..."
I recognized that voice. I cracked the door open and peeked through the gap. Eterna and Verner were alone together on the roof. Oh my, these two are the frisky couple!
Kuon no Sanka was a PG game, so there was nothing explicit going on on-screen. There were the occasional hints, though—just like in old games when the characters would say, "I had a lot of fun last night."Nice. I was definitely not against seeing them "hint" at something.
C'mon... It's time for you guys to discover the joys of adulthood! I support your love...from the bottom of my heart!
"So, what did you want to tell me?" Verner asked.
Verner! There's only one thing she could say after calling you out alone at this hour of the night!
My heart was beating like crazy, but I didn't want to disturb them, so I meticulously used my usual stealth technique.
I won't bother you guys, and I certainly won't let anyone else get in the way!
If anyone so much as approached the rooftop, I'd kick them out myself.
"You know, Verner... I know that you're always looking at someone else, and I know who that someone is. Still, I also need to move forward. I think that if I don't tell you how I feel, I'll never be able to move on..." Eterna said, looking straight at Verner.
Her cheeks were red, and her expression was serious. We were approaching the climax. The stars shone brightly above them as if to give them their blessing... Yeah, no, I guess they always shine like that. Whatever.I was tempted to help the mood by creating a meteor shower or something, but that definitely would've given my presence away, so I stopped myself.
"I... I loved you!"
SHE SAID IT! FINALLY! YESSSSS!!!
This is a grand slam, player Eterna wins the game!
I finally managed to break free from Ellize's cursed route and hop onto the route of love! It's a miracle! The main heroine is truly above everyone else! That's a win! I'm gonna treat myself and enjoy a nice meal and an extra long bath after this.
In Kuon no Sanka, confession scenes would either succeed or fail depending on your girl's affection level. The failed scenes all had one thing in common: Verner would be the one to confess, and he'd be rejected by the girl. Successful scenes usually went the opposite way, where the girl would confess to Verner. Verner never refused, so once that event happened, you were pretty much set on that heroine's route for good.
That meant...this was a surefire victory! This couldn't fail anymore!
I'm over the moon! This is a once-in-a-lifetime miracle! A divine blessing! The stars have aligned! You did great, Verner! You're the best! Congratulations! Congratulations!
Wait. Hang on. Did she say she loved him, past tense?!
"I guess that's not really true—I do love you, but like a family member. I don't think my feelings for you are romantic."
Huh? What?!
There's got to be something wrong. I've heard these lines before! This is what Eterna tells Verner after he confesses if her affection level is too low! For God's sake, Verner! Her affection's still too low! This is all your fault! That's what you get for training all day!
"You know," Eterna continued, "I was always scared. You always felt so distant, and I always worried that you'd go somewhere far away and leave me behind. So I did my best to catch up with you. I was always chasing your back with my eyes, and eventually...I got confused. I started thinking that I was in love with you."
Eterna let her hand emit a pale glow. She wasn't using any tricks, like I did—this was pure, unaltered saint power. It seemed like she'd already mastered it.
"After I suddenly got this power," she said, "I finally felt like I'd caught up with you. I finally felt like I wouldn't be left behind anymore. And that's when I understood that what I'd been feeling wasn't romantic love. I was simply scared of losing a member of my family."
Nope. I am not having this.
This is the speech she makes when she has low affection, word for word. If her affection level was high enough, Eterna would've said, "I was always chasing your back with my eyes, and eventually, I realized that I was in love with you."
Kuon no Sanka was a dating sim, after all. It wouldn't have made any sense for Eterna to be in love with Verner from day one. She had to fall in love over the course of the game. She was the main heroine, so she did start with a higher affection level than other girls, but that still didn't mean she was head over heels for him from the beginning. If you didn't make an effort to raise her affection, she wouldn't actually fall for him. Eventually, she'd notice that she'd confused familial love for romantic love—just like she had now.
Verner laughed. "What's up with you? I feel like you just dumped me."
"I am dumping you," Eterna replied with a smile.
I could see how close they were, but they interacted like a pair of siblings. There was absolutely no spark between them.
Noooo! This can't be... This can't be!
I could almost hear the sound of Eterna's route shattering like a fragile piece of glass. Neither Eterna nor Verner thought of the other as a potential romantic partner.
"That's all I wanted to say," Eterna said. "Aah! I feel much better."
"You're heartless. You really called me out here just to tell me you aren't in love with me?"
Eterna looked like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders now that the confession scene (?) was over. Verner also looked relieved, a smile plastered on his face.
Are you for real?! Why're you smiling?! The main heroine just dumped your ass, Verner! Don't you get it?!
"Just to make sure," Eterna started. "The one you're in love with is—"
"Lady Ellize, obviously," Verner answered.
HUH?!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, VERNER?!
Eterna laughed. "That was fast. I expected as much, but let me warn you—it won't be easy. Lady Ellize isn't the type to hold special feelings for one person in particular. I don't know how to say this, but...I can't imagine her being in love with anyone."
"I know that, but it's okay. Even if my feelings never reach her, I'm free to love her, aren't I?"
No. This isn't "okay," Verner. It's not too late! You can still find another heroine to love! Eterna doesn't have feelings for you at the moment, but I'm sure there's still hope with her too!
Eterna sighed. "I'm not sure if you're devoted or just stupid. How did I ever think I could be in love with an idiot like you?"
"Sorry."
"Don't apologize. It's all good. I'll root for you from now on. I've caused you a lot of trouble, so I owe you that."
Eterna's smile under the moonlight was a sight to behold. She truly was worthy of being the main heroine.
Image here:
Eterna's such a saint! She's the best!
I had to face reality: there would be no coming back from this. My last hope of seeing Verner and Eterna end up together had died out.
Why did it end up like this...?! Who's the homewrecker who destroyed the happy couple?! Damn! It's all me!
"Well then, see you tomorrow, Verner."
"Yeah, see you tomorrow."
Eterna started walking away. She looked invigorated.
I moved out of the way to avoid bumping into her. Right as she ran past me, I heard her whisper, "Goodbye, my first love."
V-V-Verner! You can still patch things up! Run after her! Don't let her wave her first love goodbye! Scream something like, "You're the only one for me, baby!" Hurry up! You'll lose your shot for real if you don't go now!
Verner didn't move. He was still standing in the exact same spot, completely silent.
That boy's so stupid! Don't watch her run off with a smile on your face!
Ah... To be honest, I'd already noticed his feelings a while ago. Even though I was thickheaded, I wasn't blind—this world seemed to be set on Ellize's route. Still, why'd he have to fall for me?! Hearing Verner say it directly was something else altogether.
I'd never managed to have a serious relationship with a girl in my previous world, and I was still a virgin. Now, to top things off, a dude was in love with me. What kind of punishment is this?!
If my new body had somehow changed my soul, or if living as a girl for years had turned me into one, it would've been easier. Unfortunately, transmigrating hadn't changed my orientation or my personality—those were already set in stone. I'd simply been transported to another world with my memories intact. There was no changing who I was at this point; it was far too late.
I also couldn't change my preferences by telling myself that this kind of stuff wasn't such a big deal these days, or that—back during the Sengoku period in Japan—men used to do other men all the time, so it was fine. From what I knew, kids developed their personality during the first three years of their life. There'd still be minor adjustments after that, but by ten, it was pretty much formed. If a child's parents were too harsh on them during these years, or if they grew up isolated and without friends, they'd drag the resulting personality traits into adulthood. For example, they'd be subservient or lack self-confidence.
In my case, I'd lived for around thirty years on Earth before I'd ended up here. That was more than enough time to fully form a personality. Even though my appearance had changed, I hadn't. As far as I was concerned, I was Fudou Niito, not Ellize. Even if I were to live in this body for another ten years—or, heck, for another hundred—that still wouldn't change anything. I'd still be Fudou Niito, even if I lived longer as Ellize than I had as me.
Anyway, my point was: I felt very sorry for Verner and all, but I'd never return his feelings. I couldn't imagine myself ever falling for another man. At this rate, no one would be happy.
Ellize's body was like a prison to me. I used to like gender-bender stories, but living in one myself had made me see them in a new light. It was dreadful, really.
There were some things I still liked—having everyone fawn over me, for one. Being revered and told that I was gorgeous, even by guys, felt incredible. I was an attention whore, after all.
However, I only welcomed that attention from afar. It was like using a female character in an online game. Anyone would be happy getting treated like a princess, right? Most people just wanted to feel valued and bask in a sense of superiority. However, they wouldn't necessarily be down to start dating one of the guys that fawned over them in real life. I mean, some probably would, but definitely not the majority...I think.
Anyway, enjoying the attention and wanting to date people was super different.
I was the kind of guy who sometimes used a female avatar online—especially if the game had decent graphics and you could see the character's panties. In those cases, I wouldn't even think about it; female it was. I'd make my character jump for no reason all the time. Anyway, I'd also let other guys treat me like a princess. And although I'd never done it, I probably wouldn't have even minded marrying one of them online. It sounded like a very specific type of fun you could have in those situations. It wasn't like I'd be the one marrying the guy—my game character would be! It was like...playing a female character for a tabletop role-playing game. I could totally enjoy role-playing as the heroine.
What I couldn't do, though, was do this stuff as myself, not as a character. I simply couldn't answer a guy's feelings no matter what. I didn't want to.
What am I supposed to do about Verner?
At the end of the day, my goal was to save Eterna. I couldn't bear to see her die. That was why I'd done my best up until now, and I intended to keep pushing forward. I wasn't far from succeeding either. I wouldn't let Eterna kill the witch. I'd do it myself and break the cycle. I'd always believed that it was the only way to reach a happy ending, and I was still absolutely convinced it was for the best.
I thought that everyone would be happier if I could also get Verner and Eterna to end up together, but...that dream had just been blown to smithereens. And it was all my fault.
Urgh... This sucks.
Eterna seemed to have reached some sort of conclusion and was ready to move on. Even if she didn't end up with Verner, she'd probably be happy. That meant I hadn't completely screwed up my goal, but...
Wait. To be fair, I was the one who wanted to set them up together. They'd never asked for any of it, had they? It wasn't like they needed to end up together to be happy, right?
Therefore, there was only one thing for me to do now: pretend I hadn't heard anything! Que será, será!
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