Chapter 22: A failed quest
"Hop in. - Alan shouted from the parked car when he saw me. My lawyer was clearly happy about something, and he had a happy smile on his face.
"What's the occasion?" I buckled up, getting into the passenger seat.
"After yesterday's case, there are a lot of requests on the profile of my law firm, and not only on criminal cases, the phone and mail is just bursting.
"Yeah, you're the one who won it. - I teased Alan, who was a little saddened by my words.
"I remember about my joint, so I prepared some pleasant surprises for you. I remember about the patents and will definitely help you with them.
"What are the surprises?
"We almost made it to the first one.
Ten minutes later, Dershowitz's car turned onto a small street wedged between tall buildings.
I looked at the cityscape outside the window, recognizing the buildings of Old Gotham. I didn't know why, but it felt familiar, even though I was sure I'd never been here before. The feeling of deja vu resurfaced as we parked in front of a dusty storefront with a few mannequins in it
"Atelier" - The very informative sign above the entrance to the desired room read, and everything fell into place.
"Mr. Joker!" Despite the different clothes and the makeup that made my skin a normal flesh tone, I was still recognized as soon as I entered the large, bright room with clothing items laid out here and there, and mannequins in various ready-made costumes. The interior was a stark contrast to the unremarkable signage, and for the first few moments I was startled.
"Or should I address you Mr. Arkham, after yesterday?" Behind one of the tables with scissors in his hands stood a smiling, fully gray-haired old man with multicolored eyes that gave his appearance a slight madness. In some ways the owner of the atelier resembled Garrick Ollivander from the Harry Potter movie. His face was rounded and wrinkled, his hair disheveled and his eyebrows bushy, but his suit was perfectly tailored. I only knew the man in absentia after Harley's stories. He was the one who sewed Joker's clothes, and now it looked like he would be sewing mine as well. If I remember correctly, his name is Bill Finger, but he prefers to be addressed only by his first name, and he's on a first-name basis with his customers.
"Better by a new name.
"Do you two know each other?" Alan was a little surprised.
"Naturally! - Bill splashed his hands emotionally as he approached us. - Mr. Arkham has been buying from me for two years. And you, I take it, are Mr. Dershowitz?
"That's right. Here, I wanted to make a present to my client, and you were recommended to me as the best specialist.
"Fine, fine, then I'll give you a big discount! Do you want to order anything for yourself? Believe me, you won't find such quality anywhere else. - Seeing Alan's confusion, the man promptly sat him down on the visitor's sofa. - Just call me Bill. You think about it, and I'll take care of the client. - The studio owner pulled a measuring tape out of his pocket, motioning to me. - Mr. Arkham, do you want the usual? Or do you want something in a more 'modern' style... - He asked, hinting at my Hound's clothes.
"Bill, let's go with an intermediate option, your suits are great, but now I'd like to be less conspicuous, so no purple, and preferably a second casual set, Alan, you don't mind, do you?
"Ah, no... - The lawyer leafed through the brochure of the atelier, noting interesting variants at quite reasonable prices, there were even clothes made of vicuña - the most expensive fabric in the world, extracted from the animal of the same name similar to a skinny alpaca, and Dershowitz had seen such clothes only in very expensive and world-famous stores.
"Fine! Then I'll take a second set of measurements just in case.
The man was like an electric car, winding circles around me and bombarding me with questions about my clothing preferences.
It took Bill Finger fifteen minutes to re-measure and finalize some details, and then I was seated next to Alan. The simple clothes should be ready in half an hour, so I decided to wait for them: I was sick of my terrible disguise, which didn't do much to ward off scrutiny.
"How did you two meet?" Dershowitz stumped me with a sudden question.
I looked over at the gray-haired man who was deftly wielding scissors, making patterns. He seemed to sense my gaze and raised his head.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?
"Yeah. How did you meet Jay?" Alan asked the question again.
"Didn't Mr. Arkham tell you?! Oh, yes!" Bill winked conspiratorially. - He doesn't remember anything. - It was said in such a tone that even I doubted that I had no memory of the original. - I remember it like it was two years ago... Huh, it really was two years ago!" He returned to the interrupted activity, continuing the story. - It was Sunday evening and I was about to close when the door suddenly opened and a notable person walked in. I hardly ever watch television, so I was unaware of who exactly was visiting me... You were looking around with such interest at the time and suddenly asked me to make you a suit, throwing a bag of money on the counter. I had a certain suspicion in my heart, but you know what? I was young and reckless once, too. I remember once I had an order for a crocodile skin handbag, so instead of poking around the warehouse, I packed my bags and went to Africa in search of a better one. And I found it, hah!
"And what happened next?" Alan asked after a long pause.
"Next... - Bill Finger began assembling patterns. - Next I sewed a beautiful suit based on the client's clothes. True, at that time he was wearing ordinary sportswear made of thick black and red fabric, but I added my vision, because no one restricted me, and, judging by the fact that Mr. Arkham still continues to visit me, he liked my work very much.
Wow, so this man is responsible for creating the Joker's character! Amazing!
The tailor took everything to the sewing machine and began to quickly stitch together the pieces of the pattern. The noise of the machinery made it inconvenient to continue communicating, so Alan started working with the papers taken out of the briefcase, and I had time to deal with the system's perks.
I started with the most obvious one.
"Status." - A mental effort and the system immediately responds by displaying my parameters.
[The first beginning (the body): 56
The second beginning (prana): 15
The third beginning (astral): 8
The fourth beginning (core): 12
The fifth beginning (spirit): 22
The sixth beginning (reason): 44
Seventh Beginning (magic): 3
Eighth beginning (immortality): blocked
The ninth beginning (deity): blocked.
Free points: 24]
Oh-ho-ho-ho, that's not bad! Not bad at all. Even the fourth beginning has increased by one, and I've almost reached my main goal of pumping the first beginning. If I invest all the available free points right now, I'll get 68 points, but it's better not to spend them yet, and besides, I still have a quest hanging over me.
[Battle for Arkham quest updated: Disarm Patients 317/318. Reward: 31 free points.
Additional task: rescue employees 56/56(65). Reward: 10 free points]
There's one dodgy bastard left, and that's one I need help with from someone I'll be sure to visit soon.
I'm also happy about the magic that has appeared, which for some reason has reached three units, but I don't understand why it happened. The system is silent, and the history just shows two messages following each other about the addition of one unit. And it doesn't even take any time to orient myself: the system interface is as unfriendly as possible, although this is not a bad thing. Otherwise, I would be sitting there like a Chinese cultivator, looking at the units.
"System, leave only the notifications for new quests and the notification of the completion of the current quest."
I concentrated on my senses, trying to feel the magic. I wasn't particularly afraid of its external manifestations, recognizing the minimal development of the seventh element, but it should be quite realistic to feel some changes.
A few slow inhales and exhales help you focus. No, it's not really effective.
"Ha ha ha!
"Shit, Jay, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. - Alan managed at the last moment to pick up the briefcase, which he'd practically let go of in fright. - I'm already an old man, and such stress can affect my health in a bad way ... Warn me next time.
"I'm sorry, sometimes these things happen.
The shopkeeper's nerves were obviously stronger, and he continued to do his business, or even did not pay attention to this small incident, engrossed in his favorite business.
Now there was nothing stopping me from trying again.
I tried to feel something unusual in my body, even remembered Naruto, where they talked about the chakra core. Then the Harry Potter fanfiction and the core of magic came into play, which was closer, but there were no unusual sensations in the solar plexus or navel area. Smoothing the emotional peak successfully helped to screen out the phantom sensations, but in the end, I accomplished nothing. I can't become an archmage yet, and I can't even become a mage... I need a teacher. Only two famous personalities from the DC universe who fight for good and who can teach me come to mind: John Constantine and Zatanna Zatara.
The first one is an experienced mage with questionable morals, his vast baggage of mystical knowledge, as well as cunning and wit help him to deal with all enemies... Though he's also smart, so he tries to avoid strong entities. If I remember correctly, his blood is half demonic, because he had a transfusion from some demon, and then fixed the effect by having sex with succubi, getting good regeneration. In short, a great candidate for a teacher for a former criminal who's killed a lot of people. But there is a small problem with him - he is very secretive, and it is impossible to find him with my abilities.
The second candidate in terms of "accessibility" looks more promising. Zatanna Zatara is the strongest sorceress on Earth, and a famous illusionist who travels the world and gives performances to mere mortals. She loves working in public, and she also has a mystical home called the Shadow Tower. As far as I know, it contains pretty much all knowledge of magic. In addition, the sorceress mostly wears only a leotard, tailcoat, and net stockings, which tilts the scales in her favor.
Of course, the world of magic is not limited to these two. There's also Dr. Fate, but he's complicated, because he's ruled by Naboo, the Lord of Order, who's possessed by a helmeted artifact, and it's a big question what will come into this entity's head at the sight of a universalist, so I'm going to delay our acquaintance until the last minute.
There is the demon Etrigan, son of Belial himself, who has taken over the body of a mere mortal. He acts more like an anti-hero, but to go to the demon, even if he is good, can be considered a sophisticated way of suicide...
In fact, the DC world is full of beings capable of controlling magic to a greater or lesser degree: Atlanteans, Amazons, and what can I say, there is a whole race of people/beings with the self-name: Homo Magi, to which Zatanna and John belong, but I don't want to meddle with unknown personalities at all, or I'll run into some fanatic or dark wizard who lacks a victim for a dark ritual.
No thanks, I'd rather work with known values.
"Done!" I was distracted from my thoughts by Bill's satisfied exclamation.
"This is... What?" On the table were jeans, a dark T-shirt, and a windbreaker made of heavy fabric with green Hound insignia.
"I understood the need for camouflage as casual wear, so I created this. Just try it on, please. - The owner of the atelier pointed behind the screen. - I've been working with you for two years now, so I stitched everything right away.
I hesitantly took the offered clothes and went to change. My new clothes fit like a glove. The wonderful feeling I had when I put on the suit returned. Squatting, bridge, handstand: nothing made me feel uncomfortable.
"Bill, you're a wizard!
"Thank you for such an appreciation of my wares. - The man was obviously pleased with the praise. - The suit will be ready in three days. Mr. Dershowitz, did you find anything for yourself?" Bill turned to my companion.
"I did, but I'd rather come back later. It's possible, isn't it?
"Of course! Just call before you visit, if it's not too much trouble.
Alan paid for the purchases and we left the atelier. I left the hat on, as it fit perfectly as it was.
"Now let's go to the second surprise. - Said the lawyer, starting up his blue Ford.
Our way lay in the center of the city, in the area of administrative buildings. The car slowed down near the municipality building, which was traditionally gloomy and pompous, making me feel dreary. It was crowded inside, but Alan led me to the elevators with a confident stride, flashing the guard a pass. When I reached the third floor, the elderly man knocked on one of the faceless offices in the long corridor, and after shouting, "Come in," he opened the door, inviting me inside.
"Hey John, how'd it go?" From the doorstep, my lawyer asked, addressing the bald man sitting at the table
"Great. - He looked at me. - I understand you're Jay Arkham. My name is John Gabovsky. - Alan's acquaintance got up quickly and walked over, extending his hand for a handshake.
"It's a pleasure. - I shook the outstretched hand.
"So, I don't want to keep you, so here you go. - He took a sealed folder from the desk and handed it to me. - It's all here: birth certificate, U.S. citizenship certificate, identification card, insurance policy, and... driver's license.
Wow... Just wow. If I had to get my passport and birth certificate in accordance with the court order, although even getting them would take several days, if not weeks, the rest of the documents were going to be a problem. Especially my driver's license, because no one would give it to me without an exam, at least that's what I thought.
[Quest "The Joker is not real" completed: keep the identity change a secret. You have officially adopted a new name: Jay Arkham.]
Damn it, my free upgrade points. Sadly, I lost the penalty that would have gotten me killed if I discovered the switch.
"Jay, hey, Jay, what are you standing there for?
I was gently shaken by the shoulder.
"Okay, I'm back with you guys, it's just too sudden. I was setting myself up for an epic battle with a clumsy bureaucratic machine, and here I am...
"Well, if you want, that's a battle I could very well fight for you, making you collect references not just in this building, but all over Gotham. - My lawyer smiled slightly.
"No, no, no, no. - I shook my head vigorously, picturing that hell and shuddering all over my body. - No, you don't. Thank you, Alan, this is a really good surprise.
"You're welcome, John did most of the work. Not without my help, of course.
"Thank you, John.
"Not worth it, if it wasn't for the court order, this whole thing would be a lot harder to pull off.
After saying goodbye to Dershowitz's acquaintance, we stepped out into the corridor and moved towards the exit.
"Huh, and you say you don't get involved with crime. - I shook the documents I got.
"Well, uh... - My companion looked embarrassed. - Everything here is relatively honest and without any violations of the law. Just some acquaintances helped to simplify and speed up a few procedures.
"Haha," I clapped him lightly on the shoulder and pressed the elevator call button, "I don't mind. Now you can get a bank card and get the money right away.
~Jin~
With a slight jingle the cabin arrived on the right floor, but it was not empty. The commissioner was angry about something, and I probably knew whose soul he was after.
"You!!!" A sharp exclamation jolted me awake. I wondered what he wanted from me. It's not like I've done anything wrong yet... I don't think so.
Barbara's father looked bad, as if he hadn't slept at all since he'd been wounded, but only worked. He smelled like coffee, and the bags under his eyes could be used to hide a service weapon, figuratively speaking, but it wouldn't be long before it was real, especially if he continued in the same vein, if he didn't die...
"James, good afternoon. Thinking of taking a vacation? Take a vacation, go to the seaside, get my nerves back.
"I can't get any rest with you!" The man came dangerously close, glaring at me with an angry look.
I guess I can guess what that reaction is, but I'll continue to pretend I don't understand. A small revenge for not trusting me the second and third time we met. I'll make allowances for the first.
"What are you talking about?" I made signs to Alan to stay out of it and hold the elevator, but luckily he understood me correctly and stepped into the car, pressing the door open button.
"About what? What?! You got our department's funding cut, and Blackport's got a real protest outside the precinct, like we're letting the crazies and thugs loose on them on purpose!
"Oh, that's what you mean... - I had a big smile on my face. - Did my speech really stir up the public?
"Because you don't know!
"All right, calm down. As strange as it sounds, I didn't mean to hurt the Gotham Police Department, you just got caught in a hot hand, or I wouldn't have been released," the commissioner jumped up, ready to give an expletive, or maybe punch one insolent face, "but I can help by organizing a fundraiser for the police.
"Yeah, with the slogan "Bees Against Honey." - The suspicion in Gordon's eyes was still there, but there was less fury in them.
"You can make a slogan like that if you want. I was planning on discussing this event with you in a normal setting, not in the hallway of a city hall. Look, James, you know you've got a lot of assholes who often overstep their authority, that's what I meant. As for the fundraiser, the proceeds will be used to help police officers injured in the line of duty and to develop a non-lethal weapon that Wayne Tech will be working on.
"Hmpf... - He wiggled his mustache unhappily. - What's the point of this?
"To help the city and, uh. - I had a really bad urge to goof around.
"What?" he paused for a long moment.
"Nothing is too small for a future father-in-law!
Was it just me, or did hellfire really flare up in the eyes of my interlocutor.
"AH YOU!
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
James tried to hit me, but I'm not the same person who just came into this world. Of course, even with the upgrades, I'm not as good as the real Joker, but I was able to learn some relatively simple tricks, especially since the reflexes of this body were partially preserved and I just needed to use them correctly. And some things I was able to try out for the past time, for example, some of the grabs I worked on Ivy, but I will not demonstrate them on a strange man. Plus, don't forget that I'm about one and a half times stronger and faster than the police commissioner.
I shift slightly to the side as my outstretched hand pulls the handcuffs out of the man's pocket, duck from the next blow, and...
~click-click-click~
A moment was enough time to strap Barbara's furious father to the guardrail.
"What the hell! Free me, you son of a bitch!" Gordon tried unsuccessfully to free himself.
"Ha-ha-ha, James, sorry, but you should have seen your face, ha-ha-ha. I'll see you back at the station when I come in to discuss the charity event, bye-bye.
Waving goodbye, I hopped into the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. My heart felt light and happy. It was a strange thing, the emotional peak smoothing was still working, but that didn't stop me from feeling the joy of a harmless joke done well.
"I guess I shouldn't have made the commissioner angry. - Alan shook his head unhappily.
"He needed a release, plus I do plan on doing what I said I was going to do.
"Are you talking about marrying his daughter?" Dershowitz said ironically.
"Huh, I don't even know, I think I should deal with the fundraiser first.
"Aren't you afraid that for such tricks your current girlfriend will tear something off you?" Apparently my lawyer was really worried about that question.
"Ha ha, no. - As I pictured that picture, I realized that Harley would rather rip something off me if I missed my chance. - She'd be all for it. Jealous?
"I'm not old enough to be jealous, and I don't need anyone but my Sofochka. - He stroked himself fondly in the breast pocket of his jacket, where his wallet with his family's picture was. - Jay, try to appreciate what you have now, or it might be too late later. - There was a note of regret and sadness in his voice.
"I appreciate it. - The confidence in my voice was unwavering.
"That's great. Look, is he gonna make it?" There was a worried look on the lawyer's face as we left the elevator and entered the main hall.
I held onto the man's elbow, helping him speed up.
"I didn't take the keys out of him, so he'll definitely get out when he thinks with his head for a while, so we need to get out of here as fast as we can. By the way, can you give me a ride to the bank?
"No problem.
It didn't take long to get to Gotham's central bank, and soon I was standing in front of the surprised teller's window, applying for a bank card. On the way, Alan asked me about a future fundraiser, hinting that he knew the right people to help organize it, but I decided to ask Bruce first. He's a well-known philanthropist who often organizes such events, so a billionaire is bound to know the right people. Add to that his detective skills and his event managers should prove to be almost perfect beings.
After issuing a bank card and managing not to draw any unnecessary attention to myself, I left the monetary abode.
"Where to next?" The lawyer asked as I approached his parked car.
"That's it for today, thank you so much for the surprises. They were amazing. Next I want to take a walk around the city on my own.
"I won't discourage you, you're a grown man. If there's a problem, you have my number and mail. Oh, before I forget, I need the card details to send the money. Then mail them to me soon and I'll take care of the rest. See you later.
"I'll see you later. - I shook the outstretched palm firmly, trying not to hurt it.
Alan's car roared softly and drove slowly out of the parking lot into the stream of rushing cars.
I looked at him for a while, and then directed my footsteps to the nearest electronics store, buying a simple smartphone, the SIM card I decided to get by another method, and at the same time to get the thing I was owed. Bats, wait for me!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone