Chapter 36: Chop, Chop, Chop Away At My Heart
The living room at the mansion packed for movie night, an event Xavier had scheduled to give everyone a much-needed break. There's popcorn, a stack of DVD cases, and a generally relaxed atmosphere—except for Wade. Wade is standing in front of the TV, visibly shaking with excitement, practically vibrating out of his hoodies.
"What is it, Wade?" Scott asks, clearly annoyed. His usual leader composure barely holding as Wade continues to block the screen.
Wade's grin stretches even wider. "Our boyband is finally debuted! And guess what? The song went viral! The X-Boys are gonna make it big, baby!"
Scott blinks, clearly lost. "What do you mean?"
"You know, that thing I made you do? The one where you owe me for saving Jean?"
Scott frowns, confused. "Yeah, the singing and dancing for your school project, right? I already confirm with you that if I did it you consider it even."
Wade's grin gets even bigger, if that's possible. "Yeah, well, about that... It wasn't really a school project. It was our boyband's first music video! And guess what? It. Went. Viral. I knew we could corner the teenage girl and middle-aged woman demographic!"
(It did surprise me on how well it did, but we did go and threaten few key figures to made it viral.)
Well, they'll never know that…
'Is it threat tho? I just diplomatically endorse our songs while taking their mission with a discounted fee.'
(Our merc's work is surprisingly smooth, still didn't knew why they didn't sense us leaving every night.)
'Oh! Our family definitely sense it tho, Logan and Rogue are trying to make me talk first while Laura didn't care much and Ken is secretly following us behind sometimes.'
So much for espionage and assassination works.
Scott staggers back, his disbelief palpable. "What?!?!"
"Since I accidentally blew up the mansion last time! You remember that, right? Oh yeah, I forget you were kidnapped. Well, now we're gonna blow up the world—in a totally not-explosive way this time." Wade's energy is infectious, his arms waving around like he's already accepting some future MTV award.
(I mean, the real song is really catchy it's still bugs me their show didn't really blow up like their previous ones)
Well, they delved with nostalgic feeling too much that the show got kinda ruined themselves. Should have just be a stand alone.
Logan, watching the whole exchanges of Wade and Scott with his usual indifference, snorts and claps a hand on Scott's shoulder. "Sorry, bub. You're in already, no takes back either. I get roped into Wade's stuff all the time. Just accept it."
A few of the others nod in agreement. Pyro, in particular, looks unusually enthusiastic about the whole thing. "Honestly, I really didn't mind the choreography. It was kinda fun. Bobby still too stiff about it tho, but the music sucks. Pull out some rock genre for our next one man!"
"I'll consider it for our first album. Don't worry about it, Pyro! I got it! We will not be one hit wonder. I plan at least three hit wonders before we had a bad breake up and a tease up reunion that would not happen!"
'We'll be active for two years, release two fantastic album, then I got caught in drug cartel and murder scandals, Pops priorities his Broadway Musical project more, Ken grew bitter as a child idol and addicted to alcohols and drugs, Bobby came out as gay, Scott probably died somewhere, Gambit get caught with gambling and women scandals, Quicksilver got shot, and Pyro is in prison because well, we all kinda expected it. But Kurt will still be a successful priest while Peter gonna open a famous gym with Morph as the front man. Not a bad ending I'd say!'
(Oi spoiler!)
I mean almost all of the boyband will end up like that anyway.
"I was not okay with it. I was held against my will. I was literally kidnapped on my sleep before waking up to Laura doing my make up while pointing her claws at me." Bobby said, his eyes said it all.
"And I did a great job at it!!! Do you feel bonita?" Laura chimed in with a proud smile.
"You did Munchkin! I really felt bonita all day!" Wade smiled at his little sister who gave him a proud nod. Ahh, he is already becoming one of those sis-con brother already, the curse already eating him.
Cyclops looks around at everyone, feeling betrayed. "Wait, you're all okay with this?"
"Hey! I am not that okay! Didn't you listen to me?" Bobby protested but Scott just waved him away.
Gambit, Morph, Kurt, Quicksilver, and Warren exchange a few amused glances. Quicksilver shrugs, always a little too casual about everything. "I mean, it's not really the worst thing when you constantly tortured before, it was theurapeutic in a way. Help with the healing process."
Gambit smirks. "As long as Gambit gets paid, mon ami. Plus, Gambit gets to look good on camera and popular with the ladies…"
"Wait you get paid?" Quicksilver looks at Gambit, shocked. "He didn't pay me!"
"I don't think he pay everyone except Gambit, bub."
"We get PAAAIIIDD!?!?!?" Morph said confusedly, "I am just in because it was a silly little video! I am disappointed with past self for not negotiating a better contract."
"Ah, I will pay you all, after we secured a good contract with good labels. Don't worry, I paid Gambit because of he wanted earlier payments because of his gambling addiction!"
Scott sighs in defeat, realizing the whole team has already bought into Wade's madness. "I don't believe this. I don't consent on being put into a music video and a boyband!"
"Well, you already signed the contracts till you are at least till you are in your 90s… Sorry, my hands tied with the laws now,"
"I thought that also your school projects!!! I agreed to help you with the theatre art and his—Oh… Fuck should have seen it coming! Fuck!"
Jean, who's been quietly observing from the side, speaks up. "Wait... there's a music video?"
Wade, practically buzzing with pride, snatches up the remote. "Oh, you bet your red chicken there is!" He spins dramatically, clicking on the TV. "Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to have your minds blown. Because here it is—The X-Boys."
The screen flickers to life, the first note of a rhythmic guitar strum pulling everyone in. The camera cuts sharply to Wade, standing front and center, grinning mischievously at the lens. He's dressed like a lumberjack—suspenders, red-and-black flannel half undone, showcasing his building abs. Instead of chopping wood, he casually spins an axe over his shoulder, the picture of someone who knows how ridiculous the whole thing looks but owns it anyway.
As Wade starts to sing, Ken, Logan, Bobby, Angel, Cyclops, Gambit, Morph, Quicksilver, Pyro, Nightcrawler, Colossus and Sunspot show up into a classic V formation behind him, each holding their own axe like they're about to break into a boyband dance routine in the middle of a forest.
"Sssh, I know you're pinin'. But every cloud has got a silver linin'!" Wade throws one hand in the air dramatically, then camera shifted suddenly to a pile of leaves which Wade started to part. "The leaves have parted, now the sun is shinin'! And you're in my arms so the planets are alignin'…"
The camera pans upward toward the sky, where Kurt and Warren hover near the sun, their wings catching the light in a weirdly epic shot as their angelic and demonic forms silhouetted against the bright light.
The scene cuts to a picturesque forest, peaceful—until Colossus suddenly appears, swinging his axe like he's chopping down a mountain. He flexes his metallic arms for added effect, his deep, melodious voice surprising anyone who didn't expect a guy made of steel to sing.
"My heart is strong like a tree!" Peter's voice is deep, rich, and somehow fits the whole lumberjack aesthetic, which, let's be honest, is wild.
Next up, Bobby and Pyro, standing back-to-back in matching flannel, each with a perfectly ripped shirt. "And you belong, baby, you belong to me..." they sing, perfectly in sync while looking at the camera together.
Ken and Sunspot appear next, both wielding axes bigger than they are. They share a mischievous wink with the camera before delivering their line in perfect sync, Ken's adorableness causing many viewers to clutch their hearts.
"Without you, I'm tied to the ground," they deliver their line together, nailing the cuteness factor.
Then it's back to Kurt and Warren, flying high above, the angelic and demonic duo working their magic. Kurt's smile is angelic and innocent while Warren's is devilishly charming, a contrast with their images.
"And if I fall, do I even make a sound?"
The chorus drops like a hammer, and the entire group breaks into a surprisingly well-choreographed dance. Axes swinging, hair flipping, it's a spectacle of pure ridiculousness and somehow, really charming and amazing in the eyes of teenage girls on probably most of older woman.
"Chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
"I can feel it falling…"
"Timber!"
"And now we'll never part!"
"I know you!"
"You've been there from the start…"
"So baby, chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
Scott and Morph takes center stage, especially Scott stepping forward with a grin that seems totally out of character. Abs gleaming, he starts his verse with Morph following, his usual brooding replaced with an unusual boyish smile accompany by Morph mischievous smile.
"And now you're grinning, when you look me in the eye, my head is spinning..."
Right behind them, Gambit flicks a card toward the camera, the flirtatious vibe cranked up to 11. He leans in, close to the lens, hitting that perfect boyband 'heartthrob boy' moment.
"If love is just a game, I think we're winning..." Gambit sings, throwing a flirty smirk to the camera. "Mon chere…" he whispers seductively as he throws an Ace of Hearts card at the camera
Cue Quicksilver zipping in, tossing a wink and his usual smirk while catching Gambit card at the camera. "And we're here right now, so this feels like a beginnin'..." He sangs while playing with Gambit's card.
And just when you think this video already peaked, Logan—yes, Logan, The Wolverine—steps into the spotlight. He's got his shirt half-unbuttoned, showing his perfect chiseled abs and rocking that scruffy, four o'clock shadow as Wade had shaved him off when he was sleeping the night before the shooting, his reasoning was for the fans service. Axe in hand, he starts belting out his lines and dances like he's been in the Broadway all his life. Well, he kinda is if you know what I mean.
"I know you're ready; you know I'm right. When I tell ya my bark is always worse than my bite!" He sings with a smoothness that shouldn't be possible, but somehow it works.
Logan locks eyes with the camera and drops the next line like it's a piece of sage wisdom.
"When you look at me, do you see me or do you only see the forest for the trees?"
Logan dances right next to Wade, the two of them moving with surprising grace for a couple of guys who normally solve their problems with stabbing and their opponents off. They're absolutely killing it, and somehow, it works perfectly in the viewers eyes.
And then, of course, the chorus crashes back in with the entire squad coming back to the formation. Axes twirl, feet stomp, and the energy skyrockets.
"Chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
"I can feel it falling…"
"Timber!"
"And now we'll never part!"
"I know you!"
"You've been there from the start…"
"So baby, chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
As the camera zooms out for the bridge, Wade and Logan duet like they've been rehearsing for months. The choreography gets wilder—dramatic spins, axe twirls, and all. Wade tosses an axe to Logan, who catches it without missing a beat.
The next part of the video is the catchiest thing you've ever see as the scene pants out of them rowing a tree log in a river with their axes before the scene cut into them laying in the green fields while looking at the sky.
"Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na na na"
As they sang the last verse the camera zooms in close on Wade and Logan. Wade's eyes glint with emotion, and for a brief moment gloominess like your average boyband.
And then, suddenly, the energy shifts. The scene then cut with them in the forest staying still with their own pose and looking intensely at the camera while the music slows, softens, and Wade and Logan step forward, their voices more vulnerable now. Wade makes a small gesture, tapping his chest like he's chopping at his own heart.
"Chop, chop, chop," Wade sings softly, pressing a hand to his chest.
"Chop away at my heart," Logan follows, his voice quieter now, filled with sincerity.
Wade looks into the camera, his green eyes practically glowing.
"I can feel it fallin'," he whispers.
Logan opens his eyes, his blue gaze piercing the screen.
"And now we'll never part..."
Wade points straight at the audience.
"I know you..." His voice is soft, almost reverent.
"You've been there from the start," Logan finishes.
The music swells as they both pour their hearts into the final lines.
"So baby, chop, chop, chop..." Wade's voice is tender.
"Chop away at my heart!!!" Logan lets out a high note that would make any Broadway singer jealous.
And just like that, the final chorus explodes back into full swing, with Logan in the center singing his heart out in the background while Wade leading the crew to dances. They dance their way through the last chorus with every background changes to every other forest and lumberjack things ending on a high note as the camera pans out.
"Chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
"I can feel it falling…"
"Timber!"
"And now we'll never part!"
"I know you!"
"You've been there from the start…"
"So baby, chop, chop, chop!"
"Chop away at my heart!"
The screen fades to black, leaving everyone who witnessed it absolutely shook.
"So! What do you think! I didn't sleep for two days straight trying to edit the video!!! Personally I like the Scott part, looks really fruity! Also, it already went really viral now!!!" Wade said cheerfully at the god smacked mutant in front of him.
(They loves it! They really love us!)
Poor Iceman and Cyclops...
Rogue, the first to break the tension, leans back and lets out a low whistle, her eyes landing on Logan.
"Is that really you, sugah? Ah didn't know you could actually sing and dance that well! You look like you belong in Broadway with that voice! Are you the same man Ah married?" Her tone is a perfect blend of teasing and surprise, but her smile shows genuine pride as she hugged her husband.
Logan, arms crossed, just grumbles in response. "Yeah, well, don't get used to it." But despite the rough exterior, there's a slight, almost imperceptible smile on his lips. He's not fooling anyone.
(Well, at least this Logan wouldn't be divorced at least... Happy marriage is rare in their line of works.)
Well, he deserved a little happiness like Ultimate Spiderman...
Meanwhile, Jubilee and Kitty are practically starstruck. Their wide-eyed expressions scream teenage fangirl energy, like they've just discovered their new favorite boyband now exists right in front of them, well they are but you know what I mean. Jubilee clutches her chest dramatically. "I didn't know I needed a mutant boyband in my life until now. Let alone one that have them! Oh god! Look at Warren's abs! Kyaaaa!!! I could die happy now!"
"Jubes! No! Not again! Remember! Whatever you do, don't go into the light!" Ken panicked with Jubilee who suddenly collapsed near him. This one made Jubes just slapped him in the back of his head, "I am not gonna really die you idiot!"
Kitty, equally mesmerized, nods in agreement. "I mean... Piotr singing? Bobby dancing? This is peak entertainment."
"Mate, Bobby dance is really stiff at that time how the hell you smooth it out?" Pyro exclaimed, even if he was in the video, there is a different between watching it and making it.
"The power of editing, and the power to bend the author will to my bidding of course!" Wade answer nonchalantly.
Scott, still standing like he's just been hit by a bus, finally manages to close his mouth, clearly too stunned to respond.
Wade, loving every second of the chaos he's unleashed, bounces up from the couch. "Oh, but wait! You haven't seen the best part yet!" With a few rapid clicks, he brings up the video's comment section, casting it up on the big screen for everyone to see.
The room collectively leans in, curiosity overtaking the initial shock. And then, the comments start scrolling:
[Is it bad that I lowkey have a crush on the fuzzy one? I mean, he is a mutant but his smile tho!]
[The man with the cards, wherever you are, I am gonna be your fans forever! I am really weak with his French accent! That 'Mon Chere!' Kyaaa!]
[Is it just me, or is the gruff wild man giving off serious Broadway vibes??? He got ranges! Agents! This is a star right here!]
[OMG THE GUY WITH GLASSES IS SO HOT, THAT GRIN THO!!! AND THE ABS!!! MARRY ME ALREADY!!! GAVE ME MUTANT BABIES!!!]
[Who are the singers, producer and writer of this song? This is a masterpiece, they should make more songs, even if they are a mutants, they should debut this group]
[The blond boy moves are as smooth as his smile 😍! Can I have your babies?]
[The main vocalist really good! He looks like the younger version of broadway wild man and older version of youngest member! Are they all related? Because I am interested joining their family…]
[CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THEY GAVE A CHILD AN ACTUAL AXE?!?!??? AND WHY THE HELL HE SEEMS SO SKILLED WITH IT?!?!!? IS IT A TOY AXE? IT'S A TOY AXE RIGTH? RIGHT?!?!?]
[Comment above, He looks like a Canadian or at least Australian, I think that's real axe lol. Canadian just built like that!]
[They really nailed the feel of boy band music, I'm in love.]
[Screw the Onceler, this is Lorax's real biggest threat!]
[This song has no right being as catchy as it is. It's seriously been in my head all day lol.]
Bobby and Scott exchange horrified looks, both of them visibly red-faced. Bobby looks like he might actually melt into a puddle of embarrassment, while Scott rubs his temple, muttering something about 'never living this down.'
"Who... who are these people?" Scott stammers, clearly not expecting this level of thirst.
Wade leans in close, wiggling his eyebrows. "Teenage girls, middle-aged women, some gays, theatre kids, basically just women of all age. Did I say teenage girls already? Teenage boys also! Some weebs, nerds, some bored housewife, some overachiever corporate women, but mostly teenage girls tho... our core demographic, apparently."
But not all comments are positive, and a few negative remarks slide by, scattered among the flood of adoration:
[Great, a mutant boyband. Just what we need. Not.]
[These freaks don't belong on our screens.]
[Is this some kind of mutant propaganda? Is this what we show our children? Disgraceful1]
[You all need Jesus! Accept Jesus1!11!]
The mood dims for a moment, as the anti-mutant sentiment briefly intrudes on the fun. But as more comments scroll in, it's clear that the overwhelming reception is positive.
[Screw the haters, this is awesome!]
[Best thing I've seen all year—and to think this is are all mutants are LEGENDS!]
[I'll never get over my annoyance of how good this song is. Damn you mutant! But seriously, I love this!]
[Please tell me if they ever held a concert! TAKE MY MONEY!!!]
[The one dislike is from the Lorax lol]
Professor Xavier sat quietly in his chair, his fingers steepled in thought as the final comments scrolled past on the screen. His expression softened into something close to amusement, with a glint of optimism in his eyes. "You know," he began, leaning slightly forward, "this... could be exactly the kind of breakthrough we've been searching for."
Everyone blinked, caught off guard by the unexpected endorsement. Even Scott, who was mentally preparing himself for a much-needed lecture about being deceived by fifteen-years-old, straightened up in surprise.
Xavier continued, the weight of his words settling over the room. "A viral music video, presenting mutants in a way the world has never seen us before—singing, dancing, humanizing ourselves. It might just bridge the gap between mutants and humans. Show them we're more alike than they think." He turned to Wade, a small smile forming. "Well done, Wade. This may have more impact than you realize."
Scott visibly tensed, his eyebrows furrowing in frustration. "You're... praising this?" He gestured toward the screen where flirty and thirsty comments were still rolling in. "This was just supposed to be a... joke! A prank! It's Wade! He doesn't—"
"I understand, Scott," the professor said gently. "But sometimes, change comes from the most unexpected places." His eyes crinkled as he regarded Wade. "And it's clear that Wade's initiative, while unconventional, has struck a chord with people worldwide."
Scott, still not fully convinced but utterly defeated, let out a long sigh. "I just... didn't think this was going to be the thing that brings us closer to humans."
"Me neither, bub." Logan added, shaking his head, though there was a hint of begrudging respect in his voice.
Wade, not missing a beat, stood up with the kind of smug grin that could power a small city. "Heh, you heard it here, folks! It's official! Professor X now approves! I've finally got my own boyband! Hey, do you think you could fund, I mean sponsor us to produce our first album and concerts?" He thrust his arms out dramatically to the air, basking in his victory while trying to win a favor with the Professor.
"God help us," Scott muttered under his breath, though there was no hiding the begrudging acknowledgment in his tone now. He might not like it, but even he couldn't argue with the professor.
Wade, however, was already in full celebratory mode, spinning in a circle. "The X-Boys are gonna take over the world! Just you wait! We'll be doing concerts, album drops, probably a reality show! Oh man, I can't wait to see all the merch—action figures, T-shirts with our faces on it... maybe even a perfume line! Smell like victory, bub."
Logan growled. "Don't even think about putting me on any perfume bottle, Wade."
But Wade just wiggled his eyebrows. "I mean I already selling your old 'clothes' already and they already buying it. In bulk I may add—"
"WHAAAT?!?!?!"
"Ups, I talk too much..."
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Vha_Ann
Vha_Ann Don't you think the songs is oddly fitting for them? Just search Chop Away at My heart in YT if you want to listen, I did modify some of the comment and copy paste some of them. My imagination run really wild with the part of Scott, Gambit, and Quicksilver ones so much that I wanted to learn animation just to animate those, its so fitting! btw this is just a side story and my end of a bargain to Wade to have his own boyband before we get to Volume 2. Just treat it as an Omake if you will, I'll post the first chapter of Vol 2 in few hours. You could skip this chapter.
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