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9.55% "You are the Protagonist" / Chapter 28: 28. Paige

Chapter 28: 28. Paige

Paige grew up with divorced parents. She was overly beautiful, clever, and sensitive when she was a child. While her mother had high expectations of her, Paige's father was little interested in her.

Her mother had showered her with compliments on weekdays; her father had showered her with silence on the weekends.

She was really emotional as a kid and teenager, throwing tantrums, going through phases with 'nobody understands me,' wanting to kill herself because she felt empty, and so on. That was only natural when you were a teenager, but she had it a bit stronger than most depressed teens.

If she started one thing she was extremely enthusiastic about, then, after a few days, she felt bored and didn't want to do it again. It was as if she would repeat the treatment her parents gave her on everything she did.

She was not able to last in any educational direction she chose after dropping out of high school with a very poor certificate.

So, her mom got her to a psychiatrist, and after a round of talking, she was prescribed antidepressants.

After a few months of shutting herself in her room and taking her medication, she didn't have as many emotional outbursts anymore and could last longer when doing something, but the enthusiasm for starting something new had also lessened considerably.

Her mother was disappointed in her, and her father was disappointed too; even the grandparents, whom she never saw and who lived in a warm country, were disappointed in her.

Now she had equal treatment from her parents, but in this way—she had never intended to have that happen. Everyone was just so disappointed in her, and her mother came up with the typical phrases.

"Why don't you try this or this? Your time is running out. You have to live for yourself at eighteen. I won't take care of you while you do nothing."

Her father said, "I think you can't do it. But you know what? Prove me wrong!"

Her grandparents sent her letters and newspaper clippings of homeless people and how badly they lived. The letters read something like "Better learn something or this is your future." And the more she heard these sentences, the more she felt she couldn't breathe, the more she stayed in her room, and the more she read.

She somehow felt lesser, and with more disappointment from her parents, she herself didn't feel as disappointed with everything anymore; she just felt so, so bored.

When she read, she could immerse herself, even if the feelings she had weren't as strong as they were back then. She could feel more vividly again, and so she got obsessed. As soon as she woke up, she read, and she was happy while reading. If a beloved book ended, it felt a bit like the end of the world.

But this too was soon forgotten when she got the next story.

That was her life, and when she was eighteen, her mother kicked her out. Her mother said she had no choice, and she hoped this was the wake-up call Paige apparently needed to change her life.

So, Paige took her books and her antidepressants and went to her dad. 

Her dad helped her apply for welfare, and when the first money came into Paige's bank account, he sent her on her way.

So now, Paige had her money, her books, and her antidepressants and lived in a cheap building in a one-room apartment. Every year she would get to reapply for welfare, while being bodyabled, but the psychiatrists she talked to permitted the welfare applications each year again, saying she had severe depression.

So every year she reapplied for it, and she didn't work for more than a few months her whole life.

At the beginning, she tried a few things, but she could not last with anything for a longer time.

When the time came, she felt bored; it was torture for her to do whatever she did. The longer she stayed there, the more depressed she became. She didn't want to sleep at night anymore to have time to read, so she stayed awake.

Then she slept over many times, and the colleagues and boss were so utterly disappointed in her and her falling work performance.

After a few tries, she gave up and shut herself in at home. She wouldn't say she had a bad or boring life—most of the time she didn't, because she had so many adventures that she experienced through these stories.

And then, she entered a story.


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